No, really — it’s just research for my Andrea Dworkin paper!

December 12th, 2008 · 48 comments

“There’s a lot of foot traffic at a certain computer lab at our university,” says our submitter in Ypsilanti, Michigan, “but it can only seat 30 at a time.”

In order to (in theory) alleviate the problem, and in practice, to give waiting students some new clip art to focus their rage upon, the university posted this sign on the door of the lab…to which several students added their own clarifications.

Really, though: which is a better simulation of post-college working life for the major of university graduates: writing a paper on themes of alienation in James Joyce…or periods of mind-numbing boredom punctuated by the furtive checking of status updates and the throwing of virtual snowballs? Mmm?

Have compassion in your hearts for people on Facebook!

related: Making time for the important things in life…like Facebook apps

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · clip art catastrophe · college life · Facebook · im-speak · rebuttals


48 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Doug

    Is Hugs and Kisses 101 a new class?

    Dec 12, 2008 at 2:28 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Thanks!

      I think Hugs and Kisses 101 will be a great class, but first I shall have to brush up, with my most favorite Arm & Hammer, maybe while I am waiting in line.

      Dec 12, 2008 at 3:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Goldie

    Who are these people, I wondered. And then it dawned on me. They are students waiting to use a machine. They’re standing outside because the lab is packed. And they are middle aged, because they’ve been waiting since 1986. And the wait is so long because, all this time, people have been using lab computers for heavily un-academic activities. Damn you, Facebook, Myspace, Pac-Man, and Hentai!

    Dec 12, 2008 at 2:38 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   T.U.M.

      I thought they were waiting for the bus back to 1988.

      Dec 12, 2008 at 3:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Rube Goldberg

      I thought the people were just a preview of what the December grads have to look forward to in the coming months job-wise.

      Dec 12, 2008 at 3:39 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Mishee bang

      Just what search keyword do you use to get that clipart in the results??

      Dec 12, 2008 at 3:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   GhostWriter bang

      “The Mamas and the Papas” ?

      Dec 12, 2008 at 3:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   unfortunate names blog

      Is that one lady breast feeding in line? You would think she would get priority. Kids these days. No respect.

      Dec 12, 2008 at 5:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Geek Goddess

      She was actually 6 months pregnant when she lined up.

      Computers: they make your life easier.

      Dec 12, 2008 at 6:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   GhostWriter bang

    Typical prejudiced bigots. They kicked all the minorities out to the curb.

    Dec 12, 2008 at 2:44 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   yousuckatcraigslist bang

    I teach college. Nobody is doing any work in the computer labs, regardless of what the signs request. At least they’re not doing it for the classes I teach, anyway. Sigh.

    Dec 12, 2008 at 3:09 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   fantasy bang

    ☑ HUGS!

    ☑ KISSES!

    ☑ SMILEY FACE!

    ☑ …….. 101 = NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN LINE TO SEND HUGS, KISSES AND SMILEY FACES TO FRIENDS ON FACE BOOK!

    Dec 12, 2008 at 3:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   GhostWriter bang

    Damon had just packed himself into the crowded parking garage elevator when she appeared. Blonde tresses gently brushed her bronze shoulders as she sashayed through the closing doors. As she turned, her Coach purse bumped his Dayplanner, and he was suddenly immersed in the sweet aroma of her Bright Crystal perfume.

    “Now is the time to meet her!” he thought. But what to say? Then he remembered something interesting from last evening’s academic work in the computer lab.

    He stepped up to her, cleared his throat, and said, “Boy, this car is certainly experiencing high utilization today…”

    Her reply was a soft, tender cough in his general direction. Then, smirking, she turned away to look at the doors.

    “But it made so much sense last evening…” he thought.

    Dec 12, 2008 at 3:42 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    Are these people standing outside the computer lab, or home depot?

    Dec 12, 2008 at 3:44 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Mishee bang

    kerry thinks she is fooling me, but I know this is just Facebook Friday in disguise.

    and we all know how much I hate Facebook Friday…

    Dec 12, 2008 at 3:46 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Ti O bang

      AAAAUIGH!
      A furtive Facebook Friday foray!

      Dec 12, 2008 at 5:36 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   GhostWriter bang

    You’d better be considerate, or you might end up like Yellow Raincoat Lady’s husband, whose head she is cradling in her arms.

    Dec 12, 2008 at 3:47 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   fantasy bang

    The people in line are at the unemployment office….. they are the teachers of America!

    You don’t need lessons for face book or my space.

    Dec 12, 2008 at 3:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    I’m sure there is a lot of “high utilization” of the computer lab.
    You can tell from all of the Doritos and Little Debbie wrappers.

    Dec 12, 2008 at 3:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    Frankly, I’m disappointed in the caliber of today’s students if, given this much graffiti-free space, the best they could come up with was facebook and myspace quips. I bet the signs in Bangalore are much more cutting edge.

    Dec 12, 2008 at 3:58 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   bean

      Seriously, not a single penis drawing out of all of them?!

      For shaaaaame!

      Dec 12, 2008 at 5:09 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   aaa

      Maybe I’m not the typical student, but I totally would’ve drawn giant penises all over it. Hell, I graffiti everything with penises; textbooks, walls, pictures of Jesus, whatever.

      Happy, bean?

      Dec 13, 2008 at 12:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   resa

    Andrea Dworkin – I love it

    Dec 12, 2008 at 4:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Bunnee

      I am a little embarrassed that I had to google “Andrea Dworkin” to find out who she was. However, after reading the synopsis on the google page about her, (American radical feminist best known for her criticism of pornography) I let my eyes wander down the page and found something rather ironic. About 3 or 4 google entries down, there is an interview of Andrea Dworkin by Michael MOORCOCK! :)

      Dec 12, 2008 at 5:17 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   fantasy bang

    Face Book and My Space users, punishable by real pain???

    Being on Face Book and My Space is real pain.

    Dec 12, 2008 at 4:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Bunnee

      Weird… I thought it said “punishable by SERVER pain”, which I guess makes sense, too.

      Dec 12, 2008 at 5:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   mh

      It says “severe”. Actually, it looks more like “severc”, but I think they mean “severe”.

      Dec 12, 2008 at 5:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Woman on the Verge

      As a parent, Facebook and MySpace are already a cause of severe pain. Why must teenagers publicize the minutia of their angst? When will they suck it up and suffer in silence?

      Dec 12, 2008 at 5:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Bunnee

      mh, I know it says “severe”. It was my very small attempt at a very small joke….

      Dec 12, 2008 at 5:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   mh

      My bad, Bunnee.

      Dec 12, 2008 at 7:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   jrigglem

    I go to this university and know the exact lab in which they are referring to. I; however, am yet to see this wonderful sign. They’re all standing outside because the building in which this lab is contained is closed at midnight while the lab is 24 hours. They’re waiting for someone to walk by and drop their ID so they can get in from the cold. They’re all middle aged because anyone in their 20′s wouldn’t be in the lab after 9pm. I say this all in jest of course. There are lab monitors in the lab, why don’t they do something other than scan facebook and myspace themselves and tell the ones that are holding up the line to get off the computer. I’ve been in this lab when I have to print something, stand around for 5-10 minutes while half the students in there are scanning their facebooks and I’m only going to take 2 minutes to print something.

    Dec 12, 2008 at 6:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Canthz_B bang

      I; however, am yet to see this wonderful sign.

      You’re kidding, right?

      Also, questions should end in question marks:

      …why don’t they do something other than scan facebook and myspace themselves and tell the ones that are holding up the line to get off the computer.

      See comment #12. :-|

      Dec 12, 2008 at 6:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   llama4114

      I know it was there last year. I haven’t gone to this lab this semester so i don’t know if its still there. what i want to know is who do we have to strangle to get them to do something about this problem?

      Dec 13, 2008 at 12:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   zema

      0-o

      Dec 13, 2008 at 12:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   jrigglem

    Sarcasm is the key…

    Dec 12, 2008 at 7:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   jrigglem

    I’m so glad we have a grammar nazi in our presence, whatever will I do??????????????

    Is that enough question marks for you?

    Dec 12, 2008 at 7:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      LOL, I was really very nice to you.
      Trust me, others here would rip that sad composition you posted to shreds!
      I hope your professors are tougher on you than I’ve been.
      If they aren’t, then you’re wasting valuable time and money in college. ;-)

      Dec 12, 2008 at 9:27 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   aaa

      Grammar may be the key, but so is gigglebraxing and not being a dick to the regulars.

      Although, that’d be a great if you’d be a dick to me. God knows that all the gay porn in the world just isn’t dick enough to substitute for real dick.

      You are a dude, right? ‘Cuz if you’re not, that’d be great if you’d get a dick dude friend of yours over here.

      You do have friends, right?

      Dec 13, 2008 at 12:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   agatha christie

      To be fair, CB and AAA, jrigglem goes to Eastern Michigan University. EMU is just a short, eight-mile bus ride to the University of Michigan. If he/she went to Michigan instead of EMU, he/she’d have access to ample computing space not to mention other resources that would allow him/her to post an adequate remark on this website.

      But then again, what do you expect from someone who goes to a university that has a phallic-shaped water tower near his/her campus?

      Dec 13, 2008 at 1:35 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   aaa

      Well, I’d certainly expect them to take a few lessons from the water tower and be a better dick to me. :c

      Dec 13, 2008 at 2:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Canthz_B bang

      AC: Then aaa was right.
      It must be something in the water! :-P

      Dec 13, 2008 at 2:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   llama4114

      Dude the Brick Dick kicks ass

      Dec 13, 2008 at 6:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Monkeytard

    I believe the 101 is actually an lol. Tougher to recognize when it’s printed rather than typed…amazing how some things don’t translate.

    Dec 12, 2008 at 10:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   llama4114

    ZOMG… why didn’t i think about posting this note? I guess i would have if i wasn’t so busy hating on those ass holes.

    Dec 13, 2008 at 12:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   maquiladora

    to be fair, agatha christie, some of us do not have the resources to pay $50,000 for graduate education. perhaps this may be why my fellow students and i have to stare at passive aggressive notes while waiting for a spot in our computer labs?

    Dec 13, 2008 at 1:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Canthz_B bang

      I hope you’re not accessing PAN from the computer lab. Some poor, disadvantaged undergrad is waiting to do actual classwork. ;-)

      Dec 13, 2008 at 2:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   se

    I think that the guy in blue shirt/jacket looks like CB…
    Is this his way of getting his picture posted?

    Dec 13, 2008 at 1:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Canthz_B bang

      I’m much, much closer to the shade of his pants, se.
      He looks like he belongs to a different minority group than I do. ;-)

      Dec 13, 2008 at 2:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     

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