The pointed politics of spoon ownership

December 13th, 2008 · 63 comments

The spoon may lack the aggressive physique of its more acute brethren, the knife and fork, but make no mistake: it is the passive-aggressive utensil of choice.

Why else would these spoons, spotted by Melissa at her office in Harlingen, Texas, be assuming a leadership position among this group of discontented silverware? We received word of this neglect on December 3, and can only speculate as to how furious the spoons were forced to become before getting the attention they deserve.

We the spoons, in order to form a more crusty union ...

This kind of spoon-related standoff is hardly an isolated occurence, however…as Garett witnessed with this bulletin board display of spoon-napping from the local community center.

Becky Wants her Spoon!

related post: the silverware segregationist

FILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · office · spoons · visual aids


63 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Lovey

    If the spoons can type up signs, why don’t they just wash themselves?

    Dec 13, 2008 at 5:06 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   AuntyBron

      They’re not old enough to be in the water by themselves.

      Dec 14, 2008 at 12:05 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Mark bang

      They just ate, they have to wait 60 minutes before washing themselves.

      Dec 14, 2008 at 12:30 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   HS

      Looks more like waiting 60 DAYS as opposed to 60 minutes…

      Dec 14, 2008 at 1:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   zenvelo

    what’s easier- 5 minutes to wash a half dozen spoons, or organizing the spoons, typing and printing a sign (in landscape no less!) and taping it up….

    Dec 13, 2008 at 5:40 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Waffles

      If you wash a spoon, you clean if for a day. If you teach a series of spoons to type a passive aggressive note demanding attention…

      Dec 13, 2008 at 6:04 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Woman on the Verge

    You can see it coming, can’t you?

    After another week of going unwashed, the spoons gathered all of the silverware and unionized. They will no longer serve until their demands are met.

    Dec 13, 2008 at 7:28 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Jennifer

      I think this is about more than just decent workplaces. I predict a violent coup and a revolution!

      Dec 13, 2008 at 7:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   snee

      well, just don’t trifle with the knives. those things will cut a bitch!

      Dec 14, 2008 at 12:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Norma Rae

      Spoonion!

      Dec 16, 2008 at 2:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Flaboy2425

    Because, Lovey, like the rest of us, they would rather just lie there and bitch about it.

    Dec 13, 2008 at 8:07 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Tyler bang

    As we all know….spooning leads to forking!

    Dec 13, 2008 at 8:14 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    Looks like the serving utensils in picture #1 are demanding to be treated as “spoons”. Get a grip, Scoop…I eat with Spoon, I wash Spoon, and YOU SIR, are no Spoon!

    Dec 13, 2008 at 8:43 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   snee

      utensilist.

      Dec 14, 2008 at 12:04 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Saysh bang

      OMG Snee.. you are my new favorite person. Not that you weren’t my favorite before.. but you KNOW what I mean.. *grin*

      Dec 14, 2008 at 12:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Jennifer

      Ease up, folks. It’s just a little utensil confusion. They will learn to accept their scoopness with time. (And aren’t those tongs in there, too? It’s a regular orgy of dirty diversity.)

      Dec 14, 2008 at 12:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    I hate to say “I told you so”, but I did.

    I predicted in “The Silverware Segregationist” (comment #40), that cooking utensils would demand equality with eating utensils, but did anyone listen? NO!

    Now The Movement is beginning with increasingly more outspoken serving pieces!

    Dec 13, 2008 at 8:50 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   se

    OMG, I miss my spoon so much

    Dec 13, 2008 at 9:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   nestchick

    For those of you who speak German, I offer the short film I made, in English it is “Sublime Utensils”. It’s an epic love story told through anthropomorphic silverware.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLpvb-oyGpY

    Dec 13, 2008 at 9:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   emily

    did the second person… make a photocopy of their spoons, just in case they went missing someday?

    Dec 13, 2008 at 10:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   snee

      doesn’t everybody make photocopies of their silverware in case utensils go missing?

      it’s like fingerprinting your kids.

      Dec 13, 2008 at 11:44 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      Photocopying is fine for every day flatware, but the good silver needs to be fitted with tiny LoJacks.

      Dec 14, 2008 at 12:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   snee bang

      actually, you’re right, CB. the mini-lojack on the gravy spoon was how we finally nabbed wily aunt mildred.

      she’s serving 2 to 5 in spoon quentin.

      Dec 14, 2008 at 12:35 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Thanks!

    These spoons should be psychologists, for the people writing the notes.

    Dec 13, 2008 at 10:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Wade bang

    “He dined on mince, and slices of quince,
    Which he ate with a runcible spoon;
    And then like a fink, on the edge of the sink,
    He left it unwashed until June.”

    Dec 13, 2008 at 10:48 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Lily

      You made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

      Dec 16, 2008 at 7:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   nasoccermom

    worst heroin problem ever

    Dec 13, 2008 at 11:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   snee

    julie has been spoon-napping.

    the next note will include a ransom demand with a picture of the shaken, drugged dessert and soup spoons behind an obviously bent serving spoon.

    becky didn’t take the first note seriously.

    Dec 13, 2008 at 11:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Saysh bang

    Dammit. I just want to spoon. And I want it to be clean. Is that too much to ask?

    Oh wait.. who am I kidding..

    Dec 14, 2008 at 12:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   snee bang

      yeah, you know you want to fork, and the dirtier the better!

      Dec 14, 2008 at 12:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Saysh bang

      You guys know me toooo well!!

      Dec 14, 2008 at 12:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   RandyinReno

      We just want access to your “drawers”

      Dec 15, 2008 at 6:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Mark bang

    What about the poor sporks and foons?

    Dec 14, 2008 at 12:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   The BeadKnitter

    One wants to ask the question “Why didn’t the person who posted the note wash them?” I mean, since Thanksgiving? Good grief!

    Dec 14, 2008 at 2:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Tracy

    I am not your spoon,
    I am not your spoon,
    I’ve had enough, I’m throwing off my chains of servitude,
    I am not your spoon,
    I am not your spoon,
    No longer will I serve for you for I am not your spoon.

    Dec 14, 2008 at 4:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   yousuckatcraigslist bang

    Nobody’s made a Tick reference yet?

    SPOOOOOOOOON!

    Dec 14, 2008 at 12:19 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   aaa

      Yeah, I totally just did ‘cuz I can’t pay attention and read the comments.

      Dec 14, 2008 at 10:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Woman on the Verge

    Could it be that, in the first picture, the spoons have gotten so dirty that they are mutating into other, more agressive utensils? Everyone knows that spoons are generally pacifists, but tongs? Those suckers will pinch you on the ass.

    Dec 14, 2008 at 2:37 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   aaa

    Is anyone else reminded of The Tick?

    Dec 14, 2008 at 9:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   aaa

      Yes, evidently yousuckatcraigslist is…

      Dec 14, 2008 at 10:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Gri

    I agree the spoons have mutated and that they are getting more aggressive each day. Next we’ll be hearing about a movie titled, Attack of the Killer Utensils.

    Dec 14, 2008 at 10:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   aaa

    Why don’t the spoons just say “KEEP US OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS”? Seems it would make life a lot easier for them.

    Dec 14, 2008 at 10:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Canthz_B bang

    Why we need spoons.

    Dec 15, 2008 at 1:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Woman on the Verge

      Nice, CB. I always knew those Jello people were racist. Multicultural, my ass.

      Dec 15, 2008 at 7:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Phalange

    I thought Keanu Reeves told me there was no spoon?

    Dec 15, 2008 at 7:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   claw71 bang

      I don’t see spoon one on the counter. Perhaps this is causing the confusion.

      Dec 15, 2008 at 9:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   claw71 bang

    None of the other utensils dared challenge the order of things after the spoons were made an example of.

    Dec 15, 2008 at 10:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   JCole311

    Spoon told me:

    We get high in backseats of cars
    We break into mobile homes
    We go to sleep to shake up you
    And then wake up on our own

    And that’s the way we get by to
    Way we get by

    Dec 15, 2008 at 10:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Tiffany PinkDog

    We the Spoons, of Thanksgiving Day, in order to form a more cleaner break room…

    Dec 15, 2008 at 1:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Debris Blanc

    The tongs and the ladles and the dirty spoons
    Laid on the counter from Thanksgiving ’til June
    When you gonna wash us, I don’t know when
    But we’ll take the sign down then
    You know we’ll take the note down then……..

    Dec 15, 2008 at 2:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   DWE

    “A spoon brother? Why a spoon?”
    “Because it would hurt more you twit!”

    Dec 16, 2008 at 12:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Jocelyn

    Extra credit: see this post about an article Australian health scientists published in the British Medical Journal – using a multi-stage research project designed to measure spoon loss in their research institute’s tearooms!

    http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/331/7531/1498

    Dec 17, 2008 at 11:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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  • #40   Wade bang

    I wonder what it is about unwashed spoons that spammers find irresistible.

    Feb 9, 2009 at 2:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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