Writes Alex in Denver: “Last year, my roommate Luke got frustrated that our undecorated tree was still sitting in the basement on Christmas Eve. We decided to get retribution by moving the tree into his room.”
Happy Hannukah, everyone!
…or just Jewish.
December 23rd, 2008 · 60 comments
FILED UNDER: Denver · holiday spirit · roommates · whiteboard
60 responses so far ↓
#1
Roger
FIRST
Dec 23, 2008 at 10:16 pm rating: 90
#2
aaa
Is Luke quadriplegic, or can he only enjoy Christmas if somebody else does the decorating?
Dec 23, 2008 at 10:21 pm rating: 90
#3
park rose
nevermind
Dec 23, 2008 at 10:34 pm rating: 90
#4
Goldie
goD… is Luke dyslexic? Did he mean to say Dog?
Dec 23, 2008 at 10:54 pm rating: 90
#5
Canthz_B
They don’t have a fireplace, so when Santa comes down the chimney he’ll end up in the basement.
It’s not all about you, Luke!
Dec 23, 2008 at 11:07 pm rating: 90
#6
Goldie
Using his immense power in the Force, young Luke Treehumper decorates a X-mas tree without his roommates’ help. It is not until Luke’s mission is completed that he finds out that he is, in fact, a lil Jewish. His real father’s name is Mort Veyder. Luke is heartbroken. Never will he decorate a tree again.
Dec 23, 2008 at 11:22 pm rating: 90
#7
unfortunate names blog
that sounds like the name of a new blog “just jewish”
Dec 23, 2008 at 11:30 pm rating: 90
#8
Aimee
I feel sorry for Luke. He is desperately trying to become closer with the other guys in the house, and thinks that this little joke will make him look witty and cool. Poor Luke, he’s the guy that runs out to the living room with a Scrabble board, asking for high-fives while the “real guys” chug beer and make fun of his lisp.
Or maybe not.
Oh yeah. Eighth! High five!!
Dec 24, 2008 at 12:33 am rating: 90
#9
secondsout
So was this a live tree or a plastic tree? If it’s a live tree, the man has a point. If it’s a fake tree, he just needs to give it up and wait until next year.
Dec 24, 2008 at 12:38 am rating: 90
#10
secondsout
Just Jewish? Dammit, forgot to put up the menorah, too!
Dec 24, 2008 at 12:40 am rating: 90
#11
secondsout
“I think it’s funny that it (sic) x-mas eve and we still haven’t put up our x-mas tree…”
I agree – hilarious, in fact. You know what else is funny? Carrot Top! Just can’t get enough of his madcap antics.
Dec 24, 2008 at 12:42 am rating: 90
#12
Debb
oh gosh this is so funny
Dec 24, 2008 at 1:12 am rating: 90
#13
moleinthewall
Wow, these responses have been stupid so far.
Dec 24, 2008 at 1:19 am rating: 90
#14
morpho aurora
i thought all christ’s disciples were jewish
happy holidays PANsters
Dec 24, 2008 at 1:46 am rating: 90
#15
park rose
I was going to run with that one, M-A. Then I Googled. Luke was Greek (and I guess Christian, but am not enough of a theologian to really know). I guess the thing is that the gospels were written after the event, and by that time I don’t know if the writers still called themselves Jewish or Christian or other? Mark was Roman. Matthew and John were Jewish, I think… but – Troy McClure or Wade, where are you? Clarification needed.
I’m sure anyone can help. Sorry for the ignorance here.
And, happy holidays to you, to Morph ♥
Dec 24, 2008 at 3:15 am rating: 90
#16
Canthz_B
Luke needs to have a long talk with his parents if he doesn’t know if he’s Jewish or not.
A peek in his own pants, while not definitive, could be a starting point.
Dec 24, 2008 at 3:55 am rating: 90
#17
teeg
I think “Lazy Jews” would make a good name for a band.
Dec 24, 2008 at 8:47 am rating: 90
#18
claw71
Jews put up Christmas trees but they do it after Christmas because that’s when they can get a really good deal.
Dec 24, 2008 at 9:00 am rating: 90
#19
claw71
T’was the day before Christmas and all through the unit, no decortations were up because no one felt like doing it.
Luke got frustrated and posted a note, but the roommates all laughed at the message he wrote.
So they waited ’til evening, when Luke was asleep and did horrible things to the crabby creep.
Mike peed in his earhole, John spat in his mouth
Rhonda shaved all the hair that grew way down south
Luke stirred when they raped him with a candy cane, but returned to his slumber and moaned the name Blane.
They took all his laundry, the dirty and pressed
and gave it to the hobo so he could be well-dressed.
Then they called Luke’s mother and told her this fact: Luke stole all her savings so he could buy crack.
When Luke awoke he felt like he’d died. There was poop in his slippers and a tree by his side.
His roommates had left, but a note was in view
handle Christmas yourself!
love, your flatmates–the jews.
Dec 24, 2008 at 9:15 am rating: 90
#20
Badger
With a New Testament name like Luke, prolly not Jewish. Just a guess.
Dec 24, 2008 at 10:13 am rating: 90
#21
JoelWhy
Damn antisemites!
Dec 24, 2008 at 11:48 am rating: 90
#22
shonda
Now that my sons are using the damn bulbs are warfare, I wish I was like you and Luke with a boxed up tree and a cleaner house.
Dec 24, 2008 at 12:42 pm rating: 90
#23
aaa
Now, I’m wondering if Luke’s roomies put up a Festivus pole the day before. Maybe the Feats of Strength and Airing of Grievances are so similar to his everyday life that Luke didn’t even notice it was Festivus…
Dec 24, 2008 at 12:47 pm rating: 90
#24
Woman on the Verge
Posted just under this note:
We think it’s fucking hilarious that you took the time to write this note rather than to get out the damn tree. Oh, and as far as the Jewish thing? Not too tough to figure out if you consider which God’s name you were taking in vain…
Dec 24, 2008 at 1:18 pm rating: 90
#25
Canthz_B
They tried to put the tree together right after Thanksgiving, but they couldn’t find the central pole.
That stick was too far up Luke’s ass!
Dec 24, 2008 at 4:55 pm rating: 90
#26
Chris
Among us, bored russian jews is jewland, it is customary to form the hanukiya (the hanuka candle-holder) from the tree, for lulz and to annoy the general public.
Dec 27, 2008 at 3:13 am rating: 90
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