Entries from December 2008
Once upon a time, our anonymous submitter informs us, a plucky young fellow who goes by the name “Fluffy Fox” found his way onto the walls of this underutilized Florida dorm shower. An avid personal hygiene enthusiast, Fluffy has always been all too willing to provide grime-infested student bodies with his full rundown of bathroom reminders.
If passive-aggressive notes are good enough for prime time, surely there’s room for Fluffy’s bathroom antics in today’s lackluster Saturday morning cartoon lineup, no?
related: There are only 10 types of people in the world…
Tags: bathroom · college life · Florida · heart · hygiene · shower · toilet · visual aids
Spotted by Cara at a laundromat in Ucluelet, British Columbia…
related: It’s Pat!
Tags: British Columbia · Canada · etiquette · laundry · spitting
Our anonymous submitter, a college student in California, thought he was “flying under the radar” in his poetry class, but as later he discovered, the “stealth mode” setting on his iPod Touch was a little buggy.
Tags: California · cell phone · college life · oh snap
Writes Monica in Salt Lake City, Utah: “The hip abduction machine has been broken at my local gym for almost the entire year. The powers that be claim it will be fixed soon, Monica says, but it looks like one fellow gym-goer decided to take up the issue with an even higher power.
related: evidently, yes
Tags: Christmas · gym · holiday spirit · Salt Lake City · Utah
We’ve received several copies of this instructive flowchart, which the helpful illustrators of Graph jam have made available to coffee watchdogs the world over.
Seeing people print their passive-aggressive flowcharts off the Internet makes our resident nerd, Eric, sentimental for simpler times. He quietly reflects on time spent wandering the halls of Brown University’s CS department back in 2007. In those days, tech-minded individuals still made patronizing flowcharts the old-fashioned way, using OpenOffice on Linux.
Though such documents are most commonly spotted in offices populated by engineers and other technically inclined folk, even Kerry — who is not earning her Ph.d in Computer Science — can appreciate the clarity of a flowchart like this one:
related: When Ph.ds get frustrated
extra credit: “Flow chart: is it fucked up?” [boingboing]
Tags: coffee · flow chart · ice · kitchen · oh snap
The spoon may lack the aggressive physique of its more acute brethren, the knife and fork, but make no mistake: it is the passive-aggressive utensil of choice.
Why else would these spoons, spotted by Melissa at her office in Harlingen, Texas, be assuming a leadership position among this group of discontented silverware? We received word of this neglect on December 3, and can only speculate as to how furious the spoons were forced to become before getting the attention they deserve.
This kind of spoon-related standoff is hardly an isolated occurence, however…as Garett witnessed with this bulletin board display of spoon-napping from the local community center.
related post: the silverware segregationist
Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · office · spoons · visual aids
“There’s a lot of foot traffic at a certain computer lab at our university,” says our submitter in Ypsilanti, Michigan, “but it can only seat 30 at a time.”
In order to (in theory) alleviate the problem, and in practice, to give waiting students some new clip art to focus their rage upon, the university posted this sign on the door of the lab…to which several students added their own clarifications.
Really, though: which is a better simulation of post-college working life for the major of university graduates: writing a paper on themes of alienation in James Joyce…or periods of mind-numbing boredom punctuated by the furtive checking of status updates and the throwing of virtual snowballs? Mmm?
related: Making time for the important things in life…like Facebook apps
Tags: actually totally reasonable · clip art catastrophe · college life · Facebook · im-speak · rebuttals
Our defendant, Lee in Austin, was just finishing off a travel-sized toothpaste from a recent business trip when Lee’s roommate — apparently oblivious to this small change in routine — became convinced that Lee was mooching off her tube of Advance White.
“My roommate told my boyfriend that she had left me ‘a note,’ and about a week later he asked me if I had seen it. I had not, because, in fact, I had never touched her damn toothpaste. But now, every time I reach for my toothpaste, I see this.”
And by the way, adds Lee, “She [said roommate] is currently out of shampoo.”
related: Oh, please. Do I look like someone who uses drugstore shampoo?
Tags: Austin · hygiene · meta · roommates · sharing is caring
To Washington, D.C….
…it seems like one thing everyone can agree on is the total obsolescence of print media.
related: Love, apt. #3
Tags: Australia · Canberra · D.C. · newspaper · pleasantries as afterthought
Apparently, sayeth google analytics, the oh-so-clever phrase “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” is one of the most common search terms that leads people to this little website. (Sorry to disappoint you, folks — no cross-stitch patterns to be found here.)
So, um, yeah…I’m gonna go curl up the fetal position and die now. I’ll leave the textual analysis underlying the great “neat/sweetie” literary schism to you guys, k?
This one might be a little more home-spun, but I think the urine-colored highlighter and ellipses diarrhea really pushes it over the top:
If you want your mind completely blown, check out this international variation, from Jamaica:
And from San Francisco, the po-mo edition:
related: “Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy”
Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · ellipses-crazed · high on highlighter · pure poetry · toilet