Josh from Annapolis, Maryland says the first and last note in this exchange were apparently written by Stephen, a college student at a school “known for it’s obtusely intellectual, chronically spacey student body.”
The notes were gone within a few days, but Josh says the situation hasn’t exactly improved. In the meantime, he says, “I’m kinda worried for my own safety. I recently saw this kid chopping firewood in the backyard, so he definitely has an ax.”
related: passive-aggressive mad libs
78 responses so far ↓
#1
john
well that is the best way to write a manifesto
Jan 4, 2009 at 12:32 pm rating: 2
#2
Canthz_B
Writing perpendicular to vertical lines makes a concerned citizen look like a moron.
Maybe he has more than one thing in his life “twisted”.
Jan 4, 2009 at 12:37 pm rating: 8
#3
Canthz_B
Tilt your head upwards. See?
God and Al Gore recycle.
Jan 4, 2009 at 12:44 pm rating: 5
#4
MAMARILLA2
A real typewriter? A time-traveler from the past? A bad sci-fi plot.
Jan 4, 2009 at 12:52 pm rating: 4
#5
se
Stephen, at least, has the balls to include his name and apartment # on his notes. Josh writes as “a concerned citizen”.
Jan 4, 2009 at 12:52 pm rating: 17
#6
columbiatch
“known for it’s obtusely intellectual, chronically spacey student body”
Brown! It’s Brown, right? Maybe Vassar. But my money is on Brown.
Jan 4, 2009 at 1:09 pm rating: 5
#7
Canthz_B
I never worry about those whose axes actually chop, Josh.
It’s the ones with axes to grind that are worrisome…like you.
Jan 4, 2009 at 1:17 pm rating: 4
#8
Emily
I going to have to agree… team Stephen.
And is the college in question St. John’s??? It must be.
Jan 4, 2009 at 1:26 pm rating: 7
#9
Ti O
“When the authorities finally got the search warrant for apartment one they found a 10×10 shack constructed inside with a well loved Smith-Corona sitting on a stack of ‘Mother Earth’ magazines and a dog-eared copy of the Anarchists Cookbook in it.”
Jan 4, 2009 at 1:33 pm rating: 7
#10
Bean
Yeah, sure, go on believing it’s the typewriter that makes him look like a pretentious asshole, and your chicken scrawl makes you so down to earth.
Jan 4, 2009 at 2:36 pm rating: 6
#11
anglophile
Oh, wait.
Stephen took the note down, typed the UPDATE, and reposted the note after posting the pickup schedule?
Ok, yep. He’s a pretentious asshole, alright.
Jan 4, 2009 at 2:40 pm rating: 14
#12
Singe
Dear Apartment One:
Go fuck yourself.
I’ll be more respectful once you EARN my respect.
Thank you.
Nick.
Apartment Thirty-Six.
Jan 4, 2009 at 2:47 pm rating: 2
#13
Kristin
Ahh…who cares if the note is typed on looseleaf. Obviously Stephen AND the concerned citizen have a little too much time on their hands. One feels he has to type a note and the other feels he has to leave a message about the note being typed.
Jan 4, 2009 at 3:30 pm rating: 8
#14
Amy
Maybe Stephen’s handwriting is illegible?
Jan 4, 2009 at 3:41 pm rating: 4
#15
ananananapolitan
Haha. Josh has every reason to be scared. I went to this school. A few years before my time, one student chased another student through campus with a broadsword. Truefact.
(This must be why Stephen has to do his woodchopping off-campus, blades aren’t allowed on campus anymore.)
But as far as passive-aggressive notes go? For this school, that’s pretty weak. The ones from the administration are the best – especially the annual ones about hard liquor and taking furniture outside (delivered like clockwork every spring).
Jan 4, 2009 at 5:04 pm rating: 3
#16
anony
Stephen doesn’t go to St. Johns, FYI.
Jan 4, 2009 at 5:14 pm rating: 0
#17
Thanks!
My grandmother doesn’t even use her typewriter anymore, or maybe typewriters are green?
Jan 4, 2009 at 5:28 pm rating: 1
#18
teeg
At least neither of them used hearts over the “i”s and little smiley faces as embellishment.
Jan 4, 2009 at 5:30 pm rating: 0
#19
fluffy8u
I want to marry Stephen just for that comment.
And maybe Stephen just likes to use his typewriter. It might make him feel classy.
Jan 4, 2009 at 5:43 pm rating: 2
#20
mamason
Typing on custom stationery embossed with your family crest, now that makes you look pretentious.
Typing on loose leaf paper just makes you look pedestrian and student loan reliant.
Jan 4, 2009 at 5:58 pm rating: 16
#21
TheOldSchool
Maybe you’re all being overly macabre.
It could be the case that Stephen (in Apartment One) is the franchise owner of an Armani Exchange boutique, and that “a concerned Citizen” is a shopaholic, who knows that his financial life is already spiraling out of control — and this is BEFORE he’s even had a peek at the new line-up of trousers, shirts, jackets, and smart, up-to-the-minute accessories that AX will be trotting out in the coming weeks.
That said, no matter how spacey he and his fellow students are, he should have known better than to use an upper-case C in citizen.
I’d suggest that he offer to chop wood for Stephen, in exchange for must-have accessories and tutoring.
Jan 4, 2009 at 6:03 pm rating: 1
#22
Obtuse Intellectual U. Alumna
I am disappointed in “Stephen” for not typewriting the response on a page torn out from a moleskine.
P.S. The school in question can’t be anything other than St. John’s College (which is not the same as St. John’s U, fwiw).
Jan 4, 2009 at 6:58 pm rating: 1
#23
BurstingAtTheSeams
Personally, I enjoy a note typed on a typewriter every now and then. However, that’s because I work at a research library and get reference requests from academic-types in the mail. I’d be a little weirded out by one from the guy down the hall too.
But still, there’s nothing like receiving a freshly typed note that you can run your hand across and feel little indentions with every character.
carriage return – ding!
Jan 4, 2009 at 9:22 pm rating: 1
#24
Goldie
All right, here’s my version of what happened. Josh read the original note, and, being a law-abiding citizen, tilted his head upwards as he was told. To his disappointment, he saw nothing but clouds. While Josh was pondering that, someone short and scrawny ran up to him, and quickly kicked him in the crotch. Doubling over in agony, Josh saw a 5ft. tall guy running away, in the direction of Apt.1, laughing at his clever prank as he escaped. Due to severe pain he was in, Josh had no chance of catching Stephen. All he could do was leave a note with a personal insult. Stephen reacted quickly … out came the ax. For future updates on this story, please continue checking your local Annapolis news sources.
Jan 4, 2009 at 9:52 pm rating: 4
#25
anony II
There is no school in question. This thread is entirely speculative bullshit.
Jan 4, 2009 at 9:53 pm rating: 0
#26
aaa
What’re you so afraid of, Josh? This dude’s a retro-ass dinosaur-wannabe who thinks he’s just so bitchin’ with that axe and typewriter. Why not just kick his ass with a gun and a computer?
Jan 5, 2009 at 12:56 am rating: 4
#27
concerned citizens friend
Hi,
I happen to know Josh, the concerned citizen, and I can reveal that on Saturday, Josh got a tattoo of a typewriter on his stomach. As far as I’m aware, this passive aggressive spat was not part of his reasoning for getting this tattoo.
I wonder what Stephen, or all of you, think about his original comments about Stephen being a pretensious asshole for using a typewriter on looseleaf.
Jan 5, 2009 at 12:19 pm rating: 0
#28
Naptown
Has to be a Johnny.
Jan 5, 2009 at 1:51 pm rating: 1
#29
Meg
I want to know what was “up” there that has to do with proper trash and recycling procedures… Were used condoms and gum and other sticky things clinging to the ceiling above Stephen’s door? That would probably warrant some typewriter-fueled public seething.
Unless it was posted on the front door… then Stephen could have dumped the improperly deposited garbage from his upper story window… right onto the obedient head-tilt-upper. Then he gloats, “so you’ll take the time to read my lengthy, pretentiously-typed message, but you won’t take the time to adhere to the city’s recycling guidelines and pickup schedule? Well then!”
Oh Stephen.
Jan 8, 2009 at 9:03 pm rating: 0
#30
erica stratton
Holy crap, I used to go to that college.
Jan 17, 2009 at 11:24 am rating: 0
#31
I know stephen and that fucking type writer
I KNOW THAT STEPHEN!
Sorry ladies, he’s a gay writer and he’s a total douchebag.
I saw him scream into a deaf persons ear once.
Fucker.
Feb 8, 2009 at 12:40 am rating: 0
#32
Alexandra
I’m a student there. I know Josh and Stephen. I’m lol-ing to death right now.
Feb 12, 2009 at 6:05 pm rating: 0
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