Because it’s Monday and you’re so thrilled to be back at work, I thought it was as appropriate a time as any to bring you these gems from the Columbia, Kentucky and Melbourne, Australia campuses, respectively, of the University of What The Fuck.
(And commenters, please note the enormous exercise of restraint demonstrated by the lack of “anal-retentive” punning in this post’s subject line.)
related: If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today
extra credit: Waste management [youtube]
85 responses so far ↓
#1
kiki
Pooped in the shower…..awesome
Jan 5, 2009 at 10:18 am rating: 2
#2
RandyinReno
Shave, Shower, and SHIT!!
Jan 5, 2009 at 10:21 am rating: 4
#3
teeg
I can’t decipher the third one: “Why so…” … what’s the last word? looks like “serius”
Jan 5, 2009 at 10:27 am rating: 0
#4
Jazra
I knew there was a reason i never liked melbourne. it’s full of freaks.
Jan 5, 2009 at 10:39 am rating: 3
#5
dare
What a craptastic way to start the year…
Jan 5, 2009 at 10:41 am rating: 1
#6
Nate
But honestly, who DOES take a crap in the shower? I can’t imagine it would be easier than the toilet.
Jan 5, 2009 at 10:44 am rating: 15
#7
unholyghost2003
Oh boy! this one has Claw written all over it ….
Jan 5, 2009 at 10:48 am rating: 3
#8
Sadi
No big jobs in the shower.
THX SANDRA
Jan 5, 2009 at 10:50 am rating: 26
#9
Thanks!
bowel control please
Jan 5, 2009 at 11:45 am rating: 0
#10
Juliet
I like Housekkeeping Kay’s comment, “That is if I get the time.” Treat that type of behaviour with the contempt it deserves!
Where is Anytime Stan when you need him?
Jan 5, 2009 at 11:54 am rating: 5
#11
secondsout
Is it just me, or does note #2 have some sort of weird brown shading on it. Like someone used that same sheet of paper to wipe his/her ass?
Jan 5, 2009 at 12:00 pm rating: 2
#12
TheOldSchool
If I were HK, I’d call the campus police department’s CSI unit for stool DNA testing, and then request stool samples from everyone at the college — faculty, students, administration, and the campus police.
Jan 5, 2009 at 12:07 pm rating: 1
#13
you suck at craigslist
My cat poops in the bathtub. (Then again, there’s a litter box there.) If these people are as dimwitted as my cat, maybe this makes sense to them.
Jan 5, 2009 at 12:18 pm rating: 2
#14
claw71
Who is not nearly as intriguing as why. When it comes to defecation I really don’t want to put a face with the poop. True, I’d rather not associate with the sort of person who would leave a steamer in the shower but if I happen to encounter a wayward turd I’d just as soon sever ties with all of the possible suspects because I’d rather not hang around with the sort of people who hang around with shower shitters.
So that brings us to the question of why. Not why would somebody shit in the shower because that’s obvious. It was either a sudden emergency or the person is just a crazy freak who has an intimate relationship with his or her bodily waste. Crazy more or less explains itself but what about that poor soul who suddenly lost command of his or her bowels? Surely they were taken aback by this apparently involuntary action but why did they not see fit to dispose of the evidence? Unless they suffered a stroke and were rushed off to the hospital you really can’t justify leaving feces on the shower floor. It’s unacceptable. Just grab the toilet brush or a roomie’s back scrubber and mince the poop into a fine paste that will ooze down the drain.
In fact, I can see why people poop in the shower. I suspect it happens more often than most of us would care to know. It’s efficient and you could argue that it is a technique that actually lends itself to better hygiene since it’s far better to thoroughly scrub one’s ass post defecation than it is to settle for a few passes with the Charmin. The problem is when somebody has the audacity to leave their poop behind for others to see. That’s the question, my friends.
Jan 5, 2009 at 12:30 pm rating: 32
#15
Canthz_B
Talk about getting a crappy education!
Jan 5, 2009 at 12:39 pm rating: 2
#16
Andy
He called the shit poop!
Jan 5, 2009 at 12:53 pm rating: 3
#17
CarlSpackler
That was poop in the shower? No wonder it tasted funny.
Jan 5, 2009 at 12:53 pm rating: 3
#18
mamason
My oldest son told me, well after the fact, that when he was 4 years old and spending some time at his grandmothers, he thought it would be funny to poop in the shower. So he did. He found it quite funny but even at his tender age he realized immediately after, that Grandma would not be amused at all. He had the good sense at age 4, to squish it down the drain and eliminate all evidence of his shower shitting experiment. I have long suspected that he is a genius and these notes confirm my suspicions. I am so proud!
Jan 5, 2009 at 1:16 pm rating: 14
#19
Ida_Knowe
If I were cleaning lady Kay, I’d stay real busy and not have time to clean it. No one will shower in there but the proud deficator, thus you’ll find your culprit….they’ll be the only without greasy hair and B.O.
Jan 5, 2009 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
#20
Melanie
yikes. This is precisely why I wear flipflops in the gym showers. Now, what does Housekeeping Kay propose we do about the gigantic, Cousin It wads of hair stuck to the shower walls?
Jan 5, 2009 at 2:47 pm rating: 0
#21
Summer
Kay’s busy alright, scouring the want-ads for another job if she’s smart.
Jan 5, 2009 at 2:47 pm rating: 9
#22
SuperMe
does that joker face have a brown smile?
a shit eating grin, if you will? or if you won’t…
a potty mouth?
Jan 5, 2009 at 3:03 pm rating: 6
#23
GhostWriter
On a totally unrelated note, has anybody seen my chocolate birthday cake?
Jan 5, 2009 at 4:08 pm rating: 2
#24
Nacey
Two girls, one shower stall.
Jan 5, 2009 at 5:40 pm rating: 0
#25
Pooper
Two Confessions:
#1 When we were small, my brother and I would take a bath together in the tub – fun city! That is, until the time one of us pooped in the tub and my Mom found the other one playing with it. We argue to this day which of us did which. I’m not so sure which is better!
#2 When I was a student at a prestigious southern liberal arts college, I was involved in bit of bad behavior (alcohol was involved, naturally.) Our university had a beautiful golf course on campus and nationally competitive teams. For some reason, one of my buddies dared me to take a dump in the 9th hole and I did it. I really hate to imagine the first person who went to retrieve their ball from the hole. Yes, I know: it was a shitty thing to do and I feel badly about it now.
But at least it wasn’t in a communal shower, eh?
Jan 5, 2009 at 5:45 pm rating: 10
#26
Matthew
Adam Carolla has confessed to pissing in the sink.
Jan 5, 2009 at 7:55 pm rating: 0
#27
Andy
Let me guess: Kay didn’t get the time.
Jan 6, 2009 at 10:19 am rating: 1
#28
thirty six red
Was the turd in question sprinkled with glitter? Because you just can’t polish a turd.
Jan 6, 2009 at 11:22 am rating: 1
#29
johnnypeepers
When I was a kid, I defecated in a urinal in the men’s locker room. One of the bad kids got blamed for it and they made him clean it up.
Jan 6, 2009 at 2:33 pm rating: 0
#30
JamieSays
Got a good reason, for taking a shit in the shower
Got a good reason, for taking a shit in the shower, now
She was a shower shitter
One-squat taker, yeah
It took Kay so long
To clean up, but she cleaned up
Jan 6, 2009 at 5:22 pm rating: 2
#31
ADam
It Was Me… I took gothams white knight and turned him into the Brown knight
Jan 6, 2009 at 6:31 pm rating: 0
#32
Meg
These happenings always interest me, probably because of the whole flip flop revolution.
People spoke of pee and poop and giant mops of hair in dorm showers; thus, people decided to start wearing flip flops in the showers. It’s reached the point where everyone wears flip flops, all in fear of the of the pee and poop and hair. Everyone is wearing flip flops, yet the pee/poop/hair persists. I don’t understand it.
Oh wait, yes I do. People are asses. I liked Claw’s response too, but I think people are just asses. Man, that was too easy.
Jan 8, 2009 at 8:34 pm rating: 0
#33
Tiny Buddha
I believe shower dookies have been a problem for house keeping professionals since ancient Roman times. I believe also, not proven though, that Ceaser himself enjoyed a good solid crap in the shower after an orgy or two. I also believe what kind of retard drops one in the shower? Shoudl we be worried about the Earth or should we start worrying about the stupidification of its population? Certainly this is the product of inbreeding. No doubt.
Jan 10, 2009 at 3:08 pm rating: 0
#34
Katie
i just took a dump that honest to god smelled like cat shit – and i havent eaten cat food since 1991. i’m quite concerned about this, cause last time my boyfriend was kissing me, he pat me a few times on my lower back and i jacked my ass up in the air like i was in heat. am i turning into a kitten?
Jan 16, 2009 at 1:09 pm rating: 1
#35
geeklygirly
way late on this, but I can’t believe no one said it before me…
that shit is disrespectful!
(literally.)
Mar 20, 2009 at 5:12 am rating: 0
#36 definitely not kosher for passover
[...] armed forces aren’t quite so “anything goes.” except, it seems, when it comes to shitting in the shower. (but that’s just [...]
Apr 2, 2009 at 5:35 pm rating: 0
#37
Chris
Guess the browns didn’t make it to the super bowl.
Apr 3, 2009 at 10:47 pm rating: 2
#38 ’Bama bombs | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] Who takes a crap in the shower?! [...]
Mar 30, 2010 at 3:39 pm rating: 0
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