To flush or not to flush

January 8th, 2009 · 141 comments

This first note was posted in the bathroom of the Gay Pride Center in New Brunswick, New Jersey; the second, in the bathroom of the Rhode Island Department of Health in Providence.

I’d probably recommend steering clear of the kitchen sinks at both facilities.

Attention: Please DO NOT flush anything inside of the toilet (this includes toilet paper, sanitary napkins, paper towels, or wipes.) Use garbage disposal instead. THANK YOU

to flush or not to flush

related: a filthy hap pit

FILED UNDER: all clogged up · bathroom · CAPS LOCK · garbage · New Jersey · Providence · toilet · WTF?


141 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Mishee bang

    Since when do you not get to flush toilet paper? I mean… really

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:05 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   dragon bang

      Wouldn’t that would make it a urinal?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   TheOldSchool bang

      Mishee,

      You’re not fooling anyone.

      You know damn well that toilet paper is “For Decorative Purposes, ONLY!”

      Another thing: here in America, we call it “bathroom tissue.”

      The word, “toilet,” is too harsh for our delicate sensibilities.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:42 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Mishee bang

      Personally, I refer to it as “shit wiper”

      But I was trying not to offend our neighbors to the North. They are so polite, eh.

      And I don’t bother with the decorative towels anymore. Mister Mishee just uses them for jizz and then I get mad cause he didn’t use my face.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:49 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   KayKay

      In Greece, you’re not allowed to flush toilet paper at all. They have a terrible sewer system, apparently. But I’ve never heard of this in the US.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 2:24 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Mishee bang

      REALLY KayKay? I have never heard that before!

      (p.s. you should read the rest of the comments before you post at the top… just a tip! smootches!)

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   mamason bang

      KayKay, back away slowly, very slowly. For God’s sake, don’t make eye contact!

      Somebody find Mishee’s lemon biscuits, stat!

      Jan 8, 2009 at 4:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Mishee bang

      you are the only one allowed to touch my duchy originals mama.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 4:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   se

      Mishee, I read somewhere that in Greece you’re not supposed to flush toilet paper, but maybe that’s just in Athens.
      I have your lemon biscuits right here.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 4:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   mamason bang

      Oh, I’ll touch your duchy originals, alright! :twisted:

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   Oedipus

      You’re not allowed to flush toliet paper in Greece, you are supposed to throw it out due to the poor plumbing.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 11:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Canthz_B bang

      Well now, aren’t you the insightful one, Oedipus.
      Now stop fucking your mom!

      Everyone knows they wipe with grape leaves.

      Jan 9, 2009 at 12:11 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Ti O bang

    Do not flush anything so that means to go ahead and poop in the sink?

    Boy that fecal mist is really going to fly!

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:07 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Holiday Djinn

      Poop in a sink? Well that is just for animals. Educated people use the Shower.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   anglophile bang

      Or the Post Office garbage can.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 2:14 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Andy

    Toilet paper into the garbage disposal? Man, and I thought the fecal mist from flushing the toilet was bad. Why don’t they just say, “Please throw all shit into the fan.”

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:09 am   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   JamieSays

      So that’s how that phrase started!

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:01 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Mishee bang

    The first note makes me wonder what kind of things were getting flushed to make someone put up this note.

    It makes me think of a rest stop on highway 280 on the way to SF that had signs: “No Sex In the Bathrooms”

    Damn the gays, they are always ruining everything for everyone else!!

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:15 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Mishee bang

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090108/ap_on_re_us/teen_arrest

    Its sad when people take your P/A notes literally.

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:17 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   GhostWriter bang

      That was pretty harsh, Misshe.
      I believe this makes us even for any past misdirections toward one brazilian zoo.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 1:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Mishee bang

      yes, I felt bad after I posted it. since the story made me so mad.

      and whoever the three people are who plussed me are definitely making baby Jesus cry and are going to hell.

      but we still aren’t even for the zoo.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 1:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   mamason bang

      Need to use the bathroom? Oh, sure. You just need to remember these simple guidelines.

      Don’t flush anything! This includes, but is not limited to:
      a) poop, shit or turds, solid or otherwise.
      b) toilet tissue, toilet paper or shit wipers, used or otherwise.
      c) garbage of any kind.
      d) pantyliners, sanitary napkins, tampons or diapers. (when trying to dispose of unwanted children, please remove diaper before placing said child in bowl)

      Your cooperation is appreciated. Have a nice day.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 2:55 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   RunBarbara

      thats funny, mishee always puts on a diaper before she puts stuff in her bowl

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   mamason bang

      That’s a different kind of bowl, RB. ;-)

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   RunBarbara bang

      shows what you know, that hesher will put her weed in anything.
      trust me, i thought she was borrowing my vibrators for fun but it turns out she just couldnt afford a real pipe.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   mamason bang

      Or, she just wanted the feculent scent of your mother’s gash in her face.

      *sometimes I make myself cringe*

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   Holiday Djinn

      I do believe if they ever did come up with a dildo that doubles (ha ha, unintended) as a bowl, not only will Mishee never leave her room, neither will a good 50% of college co-eds or 75% of gay men.

      A ben-wa bong?

      A humming hukkah?

      They trademarks are endless.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 4:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   Mishee bang

      HD – who says they don’t already have one?

      why do you think I have been here all day?

      laptops and wireless internet are teh awesome!

      Jan 8, 2009 at 4:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   Andy

      Sounds like someone’s been smoking the “Brown Bomber”…

      Dante: Does anyone want to try this weed? It’s called Brown bomber.
      Alex: Why is it called that?
      Dante: Because when you smoke it You get so stoned that you shit your pants! Hahahaha!
      Jeff: Uh, I don’t wanna do that.
      Barry: Yeah, I already shit my pants this month.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   Mishee bang

      Seven people have plussed me now.

      God, I hang out with some sick fucks!

      Jan 8, 2009 at 7:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   mamason bang

      Birds of a feather, perhaps? ;-)

      Jan 8, 2009 at 7:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.13   Mishee bang

      oh mama, you’re one to talk! At least I would keep the poor kid’s diaper on, since he would probably need it for a ride like that!

      Jan 8, 2009 at 7:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.14   Canthz_B bang

      Mishee, she wasn’t trying to kill the baby.
      She was just trying to give it the first of the thousands of swirlies it’d get in high school after his old-ass father showed up on campus.

      In fact, I believe that note writer number one suffers from Post Swirly Stress Syndrome to this very day.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 8:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   T.U.M.

    My Mom used to chuck garbage into the sink. I always wondered why she did that; we had never, ever had a garbage disposal.

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   TheOldSchool bang

      My Dad used to tell me that the best part of me dribbled down Mom’s thighs.

      Sigh…. How I miss his his drunken, rambling, bitterness-tinged, late-night soliloquies.

      Coherence was never his forte, but that never stopped him from filibustering. He spent three decades in the US Senate and never sponsored a bill. ( A record that stands to this day, I believe.)

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Mishee bang

      Orrin Hatch, huh?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 1:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   TheOldSchool bang

      Not in her hatch.

      Down her thighs.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 6:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   dare

    I find shitting in the sink much more convenient than the shower; the counter gives a much more supportive seat to rest on while I ignore my work for longer than 15 minutes.

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   LuvThisSite

    you can’t flush toilet paper in Greece. You have to put it in the trash. At least that is the case in Athens.

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   CremeBrulee

      “Luv” people who can’t resist any opportunity to tell us how well-traveled they are.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 11:34 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   aloria

      My boyfriend in college had a roommate who would throw his used toilet paper in the trash. At first we just thought he was some sort of sociopath who enjoyed making the wastebasket permanently reek of feces. We later learned he came from some place in Asia where the septic systems sucked and the toilet paper wasn’t as thin and biodegradable as the stuff over here. He was completely unaware that it was possible to flush TP without causing the toilet to vomit.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 2:27 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   TheOldSchool bang

      CremeBrulee,

      I’m with you. I can’t stand those pompous, place-dropping creeps.

      You might think the affliction is an American phenomenon, but it isn’t.

      I’ve met some of these sicko freaks in Bangkok, Athens, Saigon, London, Istanbul, Paris, Tokyo, Prague, Oslo, Rangoon, Milan, Hong Kong, Copenhagen, Cairo, Berlin, Tangier, Rome, and even Fez.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:07 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   CremeBrulee

      aloria,

      It sounds like the septic systems in Asia don’t suck. They blow.

      Jan 9, 2009 at 10:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Mishee bang

    *wonders if that cat she ran over last week was kerry’s and that’s why she hasn’t posted my P/A gold that I submitted and instead chooses more toilet humor*

    Not that I’m criticizing the PANGoddess or anything… I would NEVER do that!

    *genuflects*

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:38 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Ti O bang

      Just sit tight Mishee! :grin:

      Jan 8, 2009 at 10:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   mamason bang

      Or… Must tit sight Jishee. *I’m lexdysic*

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Mishee bang

      you just like the sight of my tits mama.

      you ain’t gotta lie to kick it.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   mamason bang

      Yeah but I kotta gie to lick it.

      I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   TheOldSchool bang

      Damn those word chippers!

      Jan 8, 2009 at 6:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Lose That Girl

    Kinda makes you want to hold it til you get home!

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   TheOldSchool bang

      A “full house” IS worth more than a “flush.”

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Goldie

      Unless it’s a straight flush, but that, I guess, wouldn’t be possible in a gay pride center.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 2:37 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   mamason bang

      Queens are more likely to have a royal flush, aren’t they.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   mamason bang

      Gay pride… what an oxymoron.

      I kid! I kid the gays because I love the gays, the little fudge packin’ crack snackin’ pud whackin’ gays. Reach around, anyone?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Goldie

    Holy cow, it’s an infinite loop!

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   GhostWriter bang

    It brings up a good question.

    Why hasn’t anybody invented a toilet with a garbage disposal/grinder attachment?

    Jan 8, 2009 at 10:57 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Shane

      well it works in the shower drain, so why not?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 11:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Mishee bang

      That’s a great idea GW.

      Its better than what I do, which is when I know its going to be a particularly “big job” (if you will) I actually shit in my blender FIRST… then I can run it before dumping it in the toilet for easy flushibility. Its genius!

      Margaritas anyone?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 11:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   se

      yummy, do you call it something like “Mishee-Moshee”? or Mushee-Mishee?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 11:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Ti O bang

      It could be called a Mishee-mousse’ se.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 11:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   mamason bang

      Frozen Mishee feces, anyone?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   Flying High

      One does grind it up – for cat crap:

      http://www.catgenie.com/

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.7   JamieSays

      Can you imagine the number of headlines you would see about hands getting chopped off after reaching in the toilet? Apparently it’s a new fad to drop a cell phone down there, but think the new fad of pulling back a nub!

      Jan 8, 2009 at 4:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.8   TheOldSchool bang

      What a nubbin-filled world it would be.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 6:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.9   Canthz_B bang

      Great.
      Now every time I see Reese’s Pieces I’m going to think of Mishee’s feces! :roll:

      Jan 8, 2009 at 8:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Ti O bang

    Deja fucking Vu!

    Jan 8, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   aaa

    This reminds me of a sign on Engrish that says “For Restrooms, Go back toward your behind.”

    http://www.engrish.com/2001/09/back-to-behind/

    Jan 8, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Bunnee

    So, the Depatment of HEALTH recommends that you throw your garbage in the TOILET? Yeah, that sounds so much easier and cleaner than, oh, say, getting a TRASH CAN!

    Jan 8, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   secondsout bang

    Anyone with her own private island care to comment about the flushing power of the toilet, or the mincing power of a garbage disposal?

    Jan 8, 2009 at 11:19 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   aaa

      Well, I don’t know if “mincing” would be the proper word to describe the average garbage disposal’s action. Maybe forceful extrusion?

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garbage_disposal#Operation

      Jan 8, 2009 at 11:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Ti O bang

      Gawd I was worried that the self entitled Princess Cunt from her own private fantasy island would reappear and weigh in on the matter.
      Mexicans put their toilet paper in the trash too.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   aaa

      I think Princess Cunt from Imaginary Cuntlandia ended up getting cannibalized by her dissatisfied citizens.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   claw71 bang

      That Cunt was fucking…bitter.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   Holiday Djinn

      Of course, in defiance, when they deficated her, they wiped their asses, and finally got to flush!

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   TheOldSchool bang

      This princess sounds fascinating.

      How does one go about making her acquaintance?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   aaa

    Well, I don’t have a garbage disposal, so I flush shit down the toilet. It’s not like most leftover food or whatever isn’t roughly shit-sized anyway. And for the bigger stuff like human limbs or whatever, I just cut them up into shit-sized pieces first. Easy peasy.

    Jan 8, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Mishee bang

      *now knows to get aaa a wood chipper for christmas*

      Jan 8, 2009 at 11:24 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   aaa

      A wood chipper would be most lovely, but unfortunately, I’m stuck in an apartment and have no place for such a large piece of machinery. Although there is that one place out in the woods with my secret bunker that nobody knows about… Well, I guess, that nobody knew about…

      Jan 8, 2009 at 11:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Ti O bang

      “Hey city dwellers ever wish you could chip up your own potting much just like your country cousins? Well now you can with the Ronco Pocket Chipper-man ™ ”

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   claw71 bang

      And if you call now we’ll throw in the Popiel Pocket Plunger at no extra charge!

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Mishee bang

      I’d settle for a ShamWow…

      are those flushable?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 1:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   mamason bang

      No, but they are made in Germany and y0u know the Germans.

      Have you seen the same guy doing a commercial for slap-chop? “You’re gonna love my nuts”.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 1:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Mishee bang

      Was it Robert Goulet? Cause I hear he likes nuts.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 1:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   Ti O bang

      and the pocket pooter.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.9   TheOldSchool bang

      Forgive me for asking, but:

      How much wood would a wood chipper chip if wood chipper was also used to chip limbs in addition to wood?

      (The German model, specifically.)

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.10   aaa

      Now, do you mean using the chipper to chip limbs as well as wood, not necessarily at the same time, or do you mean chipping the limbs and wood together? The density of bone changes the equation a bit.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 7:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Annette

    Ooops, double post, sorry.

    Jan 8, 2009 at 12:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Mishee bang

      next time you should edit out the SECOND double post.

      now reading it in order it just doesn’t make sense.

      silly noob.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   TheOldSchool bang

      Annette,

      One more slip-up…..
      it
      is
      in
      to
      the

      wo
      od
      chip
      chip chip
      chip chip chipperrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Annette

      I actually tried to delete it and then was too lazy to go back and edit the second one. :-D

      Jan 9, 2009 at 11:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Annette

    Did it say where the note was from? In quite a few southern european countries (in greece for example), you’re not supposed to flush toilet paper.
    I believe it has sth. to do with them not having a real canalization but pit drainage (is that the correct word?) It ends up on fields, that’s what I’m trying to say. Not a nice thought, but it explains, why they’d rather not have heaps of paper and sanitary pads on there.

    Jan 8, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Mishee bang

      I also heard somewhere that when you flush the toilet with the lid down, fecal mist goes everywhere!

      (omg, these noobs are killing me!)

      where is Mark, my favorite shit engineer, when we need him?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:09 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Mishee bang

      WHO IN THE HELL FLUSHES A PAD???????

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Ti O bang

      I get on a step ladder and tape a stick to the lever. Using a surplus Norden bombsite I drop the deuce then flush. It gains near terminal velocity and enters the bowl just as I am flushing thereby aiding in it disposal.
      Well okay that is all crap it is just something fun I like to do. At work.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Ti O bang

      Hazeth not thine noobs. So spaketh the goddess.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   Mishee bang

      Timo, are you telling me to spank the goddess?

      Cause I could never hit Kerry!! She’s too sweet (and she’s a New Yorker, she would probably fuck me up big time!)…

      Jan 8, 2009 at 7:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.6   mamason bang

      Spaketh, you perv, not spanketh! ;-)

      And if she did fuck you up big time, would you like her to use your
      bong-do? Dil-bong? Dil-bong-do? I don’t know what you call the thing. :-?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 7:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.7   Andy

      HOW the hell does one flush a pad? I mean, after all, aren’t they supposed to be all kinds of liquid-absorbent? Wouldn’t throwing a pad into the toilet immediately suck up all the water leaving you with a mammoth feminine product toilet monster?

      Jan 9, 2009 at 12:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Harris Bloom

    that’s funny…there prolly should be a universal rule, huh?

    harris

    Jan 8, 2009 at 12:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Ti O bang

      You’re funny… probably a universal tool.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Mishee bang

      PROLLY? You didn’t have time to acutally write out the entire word “probably”? I just don’t understand why people use text speak when there is no need.

      I thought it was invented to save space on text messages since there is a limit on the amount of characters you have per message.

      This is why the children who get an education in this country are in the shitter (well, that and apparently students don’t have anywhere to type up their papers without being assaulted by cell phones).

      Just don’t flush please.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:42 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   claw71 bang

      WTF, M? liv n let liv.

      TTYL

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   JamieSays

      Srsly. He was “prolly” keeping his roommate up all night writing a paper.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   Andy

      IKR!?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   mamason bang

      Integraal Kankercentrum Rotterdam?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   JamieSays

      I Killed Roberto?!?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.8   mamason bang

      Jaimie, I am so proud!

      Jan 8, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.9   TheOldSchool bang

      I think the question mark at the end of Andy’s enigmatic post indicates that he was black-out drunk when he bludgeoned Roberto with one of RB’s larger cylindrically-shaped implements, and now he wants to know whether Roberto is, in fact, dead, and whether RB will let him keep the device for a couple of more weeks. He says it helps him to relieve the tension.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   TheOldSchool bang

    Why can’t people just go use the the workstation?

    Jan 8, 2009 at 12:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Goldie

      Or crap in the lobby?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 2:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   claw71 bang

    To flush or not to flush?

    Depends.

    Seriously, the adult diapers. I get really tired of navigating the nuanced terrain of public toilet etiquette so I just slap on a fresh diaper every morning and go about my day. I suppose I could discard food scraps in them as well, but I simply don’t generate that much seeing as how I’m normal and avoid lunches/snacks that require a lot of preparation. When did the sandwich become so unpopular?

    Jan 8, 2009 at 12:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Mishee bang

      claw, no need to lie.

      we all know you never make your own lunch.

      isn’t it 12:45 your time now? I guess its time for you to start roaming the office kitchens looking through the fridges for your lunch.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   claw71 bang

      I still go for low maintenance food items. I hate burning calories when I don’t have to.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 12:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   TheOldSchool bang

      Claw,

      If money is tight, you might take note of a nifty little maneuver I used when my beloved father became incontinent.

      Depends, as you well know, are fantastic, but expensive.

      Nearly triple the cost of the traditional infant variety.

      Well, by starving my father for about three weels, I was able to dSownsize him from Depends into Jumbo Toddler -Sized Pampers, which was a blessing, because Dad lingered on for a seeming eternity. Way past his sell-by date.

      With some of the money I saved on Dad’s diapers, I was able to buy Conchita (our bed-bath nurse/maid/illegal) a really top notch Hallmark card that expressed my gratitude for changing an old drunk’s diapers several times a day for several years. I’ll never forget the look she gave me after opening the card. I’d like to think it was one of heart-felt thanks, but I’ll never know because she committed suicide that night. I had been planning on firing her the next day, anyway, so her decision to take her own life was probably for the best. Plus, it saved me having to shell out a week’s bonus with her pink slip. With that in mind, I didn’t even resent the fact that I was forced to remove some of the whites from the drier that Conchita had carelessly neglected to fold and put away before her departure that night. Oh well, I thought magnanimously, her mind was probably on other things. Besides, it was kinda neat to run my hands through the pile of clean soft clothes.
      The look….the feel….of cotton…..the fabric of our lives. At that moment, I finally understood why so many illegals are so eager to get their hands into our driers.

      I also felt a tinge of self-directed remorse. I’m always coming up with truly-inspired invention-ideas, and the drier provided me with fodder for yet another. “Someone should invent diapers made out of cotton.” I said to myself in a soothing voice. “They could then be cleaned by people’s illegals and re-used again.”

      I’m very green.

      I thought of all the poor people of the world who scrounging around massive landfills for scraps of food to eat, and garbage that may be restored and sold on the street. Cloth diapers could be my gift to the world’s poorest people. I am envisioning a day when the landfills in which they scrounge are never cluttered with disposable diapers.

      Can you imagine the stench?

      And, no, I’m not going to do it because I’m seeking their gratitude.

      I’ll do it because I care.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   claw71 bang

      Well I’m not going to be starving myself, but I have been hungry lately thanks to some corporate layoffs. I’m down to eating three lunches a day and since Doris from accounting was let go I’ve not once had leftover pizza.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 1:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   Mishee bang

      can you flush what’s in the diapers, or do you have to throw it in the trash?

      Jan 8, 2009 at 1:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   se

      Claw, what doris was storing in the fridge wasn’t leftover pizza. It just looked like pizza.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   nuttinhunny bang

    I’m confused by the second one. Do I have to divvy things up for the toilet AND the flush toilet?

    Jan 8, 2009 at 2:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   GhostWriter bang

    The toilet’s out…
    The sink’s out…
    Well, that leaves the porch:
    Mary Kay Saleswoman Drops Off A Sample

    Jan 8, 2009 at 2:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Mishee bang

    Flush.

    Jan 8, 2009 at 2:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   RunBarbara

    if this note giving me a boner is wrong, i dont want to be right.

    *said boner may be imaginary.

    Jan 8, 2009 at 3:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   TheOldSchool bang

      I guess it would depend on the pressure or force that is being exerted in the throb (is the surge working?).

      I believe the scientific term is throb ratio.

      If you’ve had it for more than four hours, you should consult a doctor, or, at least, find somewhere to stick it. (But not in a toilet or wastebasket!)

      As always, substantial penalty for early withdrawal.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   JamieSays

    I couldn’t think of a clever remark, I literally just read the sign and said “Uh, whaaat?” But it makes me wonder if even flushing water does something awful. Should the water go down the disposal? What is the use of the toilet? WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS?

    Jan 8, 2009 at 3:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   mamason bang

      Oh, JS. I never let that stop me! You hold your head up and just post whatever inane blather comes to mind. That’s what I do. Quantity not quality. That’s my motto.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   JamieSays

      You’re like my own personal Mr. Miyagi…I must learn from you.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 3:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Mishee bang

      just a tip Jamie – mamason likes it when you wax on and wax off.

      not so much when you paint the fence.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   Andy

      Paint the fence, no. But, paint the face? Hell fucking yes.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   chance

      and the fly she wants you to catch is her pants’ fly in your teeth…yeah that didn’t work as well as i’d hoped…

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   mamason bang

      I do like watching when someone wax off.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.7   TheOldSchool bang

      I wouldn’t recommend painting your fencing with wax unless you got a high candle tolerance.

      If you don’t, be prepared to be spending a lot of time at your workstation.

      [Insert sound of flushing toilet, here. ]

      [Or here.]

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.8   JamieSays

      Let the waxing commence!

      [Is that to be interchangeable with the sound of a wood chipper?]

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Rowdy bang

    If these two notes were placed in the same bathroom it could create a huge sanitation paradox.

    It would be a very long time before I worked out what the fuck to do with the carrier bag I just crapped in.

    Jan 8, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Rowdy, Rowdy, Rowdy….

      How many times do I have to go over this with everyone?

      1. Always poop in a shopping bag from a high end store.

      2. After you’re finished, leave the bag on the front passenger seat of an unlocked car on a street that has a lot of pedestrian traffic.

      3. Within five minutes, a thief always comes to remove the bag. (It’s their job, and they’re always timely.)

      Problem solved.

      I don’t know what a carrier bag is, but I have to tell you that it sounds like: “diseased scrotum.”

      Jan 8, 2009 at 5:52 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Canthz_B bang

    The first note makes perfect sense, if you’ve been to Middlesex County, NJ lately, you know that many of the people there haven’t been in the country long.
    I read somewhere that they don’t flush toilet paper in some countries…damned if I can remember where though.

    Jan 8, 2009 at 8:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Goldie

      In my home country, TP was scarce, so people used newspapers. Flushing a newspaper page down the toilet will very likely make it barf. Personally, I think chinchillas are best when it comes to ass-wiping. You just have to make sure you’re holding your chinchilla the right away. Men especially might want to keep the sharp teeth away from their scrotum. Don’t flush chinchillas down the toilet, though; we found that they don’t like it.

      Jan 8, 2009 at 9:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Canthz_B bang

      Reminds me of the fur coat in Ghostbusters II.

      One of our resident movie buffs can correct me if I have the wrong flick. ;-)

      Jan 8, 2009 at 10:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Meg

    I’m actually all for the filthy hap pit. No more toilets, sinks, sanitary boxes, garbage disposals or baskets. Inside a restroom will just be a giant pit. A giant pit that goes to the center of the Earth.

    Unfortunately, we’ll probably end up needing a sign for this too. “Everything goes in the pit. Yes, that too.”

    Jan 8, 2009 at 9:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Annette

      What a great idea for the Mafia. No more old-fashioned sinking corpses in water, just dropping them into the toilet-opening.

      What a blessing, considering the prices of cement these days. And even the mafia has to save money during a global economic crisis.

      Jan 9, 2009 at 12:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Samantha

    Can’t wait til Note #2′s bathroom cleaning ladies find people passive-aggressively dumping buckets of garbage into the toilet

    Jan 8, 2009 at 9:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Tiny Buddha

    I’m not a woman but what in the world would a “Super Heavy Flow” Sanitary Napkin do to a garbage disposal? How would you like to be cleaning strawberries in that sink after the “nasty” girl just ground her maxi pad in the disposal. It would have to sound as terrible as it sounds; probably a lot like grinding up that teddy bear from the fabric softener commercials. Eww is a major understatement.

    Jan 10, 2009 at 2:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   JoeyGirl

    That second toilet must have one hell of a flush!

    Jan 11, 2009 at 2:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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