Our anonymous submitter in Cleveland found this note taped to the office paper shredder. “My first thought was, ‘Wow, this person has issues deeper than the full shredder.’”
![HEY YOU! Yeah, YOU!! EMPTY THIS EVERY TIME!! THAT YOU USE IT!! SIGHNED [sic] - TICKED OFF!!](https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3137/3079896105_8ed5d522ca.jpg "HEY YOU! Yeah, YOU!! EMPTY THIS EVERY TIME!! THAT YOU USE IT!! SIGHNED [sic] - TICKED OFF!!")
related: Especially Deborah
FILED UNDER: Cleveland · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · office · Ohio · spelling and grammar police
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89 responses so far ↓
#1
T.U.M.
Wow, I didn’t know Shatner got an office job.
Jan 11, 2009 at 8:13 pm rating: 90
#2
Sirius
I’m calling BS — I’m convinced that office workers everywhere are cognizant of the benchmarks by which true PAN is judged:
* Mixed CAP/lower case
*Mixed Highlighter color
*Excessive !!! exclamation points
*Misplelling (sp?)
*Poor sentence structure
*Note in question took more time to create than the time necessary to just correct the offending problem
etc….
and said workers are writing notes with these benchmarks in mind, in order to be recognized here, and get the opportunity to start a Mishee-related discussion
Jan 11, 2009 at 8:15 pm rating: 90
#3
SarahBelle
‘Sighned’
Is that like a cross between sighing in disgruntlement and posting a sign?
Jan 11, 2009 at 8:15 pm rating: 90
#4
Nate
It pains me to think that there are actually people out there who write like that.
Jan 11, 2009 at 8:28 pm rating: 90
#5
Sara
How can anyone resist putting that note straight into the shredder? Then reversing the shredder and leaving the note hanging half out, as a warning…
Jan 11, 2009 at 8:30 pm rating: 90
#6
RandyinReno
The writer used some restraint in that s(he) only used paired exclamation points. To accomplish this while maintaining the excess on a single page, a pair must be inserted in the!! middle of a sentence. PAN creativity!!
Jan 11, 2009 at 8:41 pm rating: 90
#7
Flaboy2425
There’s a whole lot of shreddin’ goin’ on.
Jan 11, 2009 at 9:07 pm rating: 90
#8
Troy McClure
Obviously the grammar shredder was still fully functional.
Jan 11, 2009 at 9:09 pm rating: 90
#9
Julia
Wow, and I would have figured that emptying it just when it was full would suffice. Thank you, “TICKED OFF,” for alerting me to the errors of my ways!
Jan 11, 2009 at 9:10 pm rating: 90
#10
NoExit
Amazingly, the writer couldn’t even wait until the end of the sentence!! to insert two exclamation points.
Jan 11, 2009 at 9:19 pm rating: 90
#11
blueangels7901
“HEY YOU!! Yeah, YOU!! How about putting the shredder back!! where you found it!!”
Out of curiousity, was “THAT” grammatically necessary? Anywho, makes one wonder what the moron’s reaction would be to an empty coffee pot…
Jan 11, 2009 at 9:21 pm rating: 90
#12
Harris Bloom
I’d love to see how the writer responds to messes left in the microwave (A constant issue in my office).
Jan 11, 2009 at 9:35 pm rating: 90
#13
TP
This is probably the same person that thinks ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.
Did someone set us up the bomb? I’d be careful of this “TICKED OFF” individual were I you.
Jan 11, 2009 at 9:43 pm rating: 90
#14
Wade
Maybe the note writer was an aspiring Tick villian:
“So he says to me, ‘You gotta do something smart, baby. Something BIG! He says, ‘You wanna be a super villain, right?’ And I go yeah, baby, YEAH! YEAH! WHAT DO I GOTTA DO? He says, ‘You got highlighters and exclamation points, put a crazy note on the shredder, it’s packed with paper, you’ll go down in SUPER VILLAIN HISTORY!’ And I go yeah, baby, ’cause I’m the Evil Midnight Shredder What Shreds at Midnight! Aaaaaa-hahahahaha!”
Jan 11, 2009 at 9:58 pm rating: 90
#15
Scarlet
He has issues alright. Spelling and grammar issues. ha haha ha amirite? amirite? high five! no? ok….
Jan 11, 2009 at 10:04 pm rating: 90
#16
Wolverine Girl
It looks like this note has been stuck crappily over another highlighted rant. I get the feeling TICKED OFF!! makes a habit of this.
Jan 11, 2009 at 10:06 pm rating: 90
#17
Mark
Why would you have to empty the shredder after each use? That’s ridiculous. Wait until it’s full.
Jan 11, 2009 at 10:07 pm rating: 90
#18
JamieSays
When are people going to learn that correct grammar is the way to get people to listen, and possibly make them want to have sex with you?
Jan 11, 2009 at 10:24 pm rating: 90
#19
TheOldSchool
Ticked Off should have used more yellow and less orange.
The color composition is obviously hurried, but doesn’t excuse its grievously flawed execution.
At first glance, T.O.’s snarling note seems overtly hostile.
Upon further reflection, I’ll suggest that his eye-piercing sign is actually a pitiable death-wail from someone who, even while knowing that the cracked dry lips of unfathomable despair are engulfing what is left of his limp manhood, is to unimaginative to do anything other than succumb to the excruciating dullness that pervades his being — thus going overboard with the orange marker and skimping on the yellow, much as one could easily predict from a case-study of this type of cubicle-dwelling, suburban-living, corporate fuckwit.
In conclusion: I think he needs to get laid. (in fact, they all do. Any volunteers?)
Jan 11, 2009 at 10:44 pm rating: 90
#20
Canthz_B
This is obviously a stunning waste of time.
The glaring failure to anthropomorphize the shredder shows an utter lack of proper PA note-writing skills.
Jan 11, 2009 at 11:34 pm rating: 90
#21
TheOldSchool
I’m also troubled by PAN’s intro:
“our anonymous submitter in cleveland.”
Are you referring to the person who forwarded you note, or are you referring to a masochist you met in an Ohio leather bar?
If it is the latter, and if his name is Ernie, please let him know that I’m sorry I lost those keys. I trust he was eventually freed by the CFD.
I hope he can laugh about it, now. He couldn’t then. I still get a chuckle when I think of the exasperated look on his face when I told him I had a flight to catch.
Memories….. of the way I was.
Jan 11, 2009 at 11:52 pm rating: 90
#22
Lose That Girl
Peeps in this office won’t be getting any other work done if they’re constantly emptying the shredder. Someone should tell the note poster to lay off on their usage of highlighters. Wasteful!
Jan 12, 2009 at 8:06 am rating: 90
#23
Mishee
At least now we know how Roger Waters is making a living nowadays, since his solo albums were just crap.
Jan 12, 2009 at 8:22 am rating: 90
#24
HorribleLicensePlates
I am in exclaimation point hell. Someone save me from this place.
Jan 12, 2009 at 8:27 am rating: 90
#25
claw71
Surely this sign isn’t directed at me.
Jan 12, 2009 at 8:56 am rating: 90
#26
claw71
Of course being a native of Cleveland I am shocked by this submission. I didn’t think they had shredders in Cleveland. Actually I’m doubly shocked. First, that there are actually people employed in Cleveland and, secondly, that they would need a shredder. I figured the overwhelming sense of urban decay would be enough to dispatch any sensitive documents.
Jan 12, 2009 at 9:09 am rating: 90
#27
mahlookma
Please, oh please–shred the sign.
Jan 12, 2009 at 9:48 am rating: 90
#28
anglophile
Yet more proof that the person causing all the problems in today’s workplace is YOU.
Jan 12, 2009 at 9:56 am rating: 90
#29
Bunnee
If the submitter can find out who wrote the note, he/she should empty the shred bin all over the writer’s desk when he/she is at lunch. (Be sure to stuff some in the cabinets, too!)
…dang, sorry, Commentator. Guess I should finish reading posts, first.
Jan 12, 2009 at 11:22 am rating: 90
#30
GhostWriter
Nice form, but a half-point deducted for lack of light blue highlighter usage.
Jan 12, 2009 at 12:44 pm rating: 90
#31
claw71
I like the shredding arrangement in my office. We have one cross-cut shredder that is hopelessly too small to handle our daily shredding needs. It’s also prone to jam if too many papers are fed into it at one time. So, rather than allocate the funds necessary to spring for a secure shredding service to come and shred our documents on a weekly basis, we have one of the admins in our fax room operate the shredder. Nobody else is allowed to use it. We take documents to the fax room and when the bin is full our shred girl, Traci–yes, with an “i”–takes the bin to the shredder and performs this necessary function.
It’s great because the shredder is on the floor just across from my desk and Traci has to bend over to feed the documents in. Quite often I’ll jam a stray piece of plastic into the blades so she’ll be forced to wrestle with it — on the floor, with her top riding up in the back to expose that cheap stock butterfly tat she had stamped on the small of her back during the first of her two years in “design school”.
Yeah, I’d hit that.
Jan 12, 2009 at 2:56 pm rating: 90
#32
robyn
you know what? i dont know if anyone saw this, but theres another note underneath it. also highlighted. if you look realllllll close. you can see it. i wonder what it says haha
Jan 12, 2009 at 4:53 pm rating: 90
#33
Louisa
Maybe Wolverine Girl saw it at post #16.
Jan 12, 2009 at 6:03 pm rating: 90
#34
Mishee
Everybody hates Mishee
Jan 14, 2009 at 1:47 pm rating: 90
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