caitlin at ontario college didn’t write this note, but she feels for the person who did — she and four friends on her floor also had panties go missing from the dorm laundry room. “the thief seemed to particularly prefer black thongs,” she says. (unlike the notewriter, however, they don’t necessarily want them back.)
since then, however, it seems the thief may have (ahem) moved south of the border. the female residents of alexis’s apartment building in seattle are now facing a similar problem.
and then…well, then there’s japan. jason spotted this note in tokyo when he was staying there a few years back. unfortunately, he never got the whole story, but that might be for the best.
related: are you there, margaret?
extra credit: panty thief busted, then busted up [the smoking gun]
panty thief jailed for laundry larceny [msnbc]
102 responses so far ↓
#1
You Suck at Craigslist
Step 1: Steal underwear.
Step 2: ?????
Step 3: Profit!
(Wow, I get to use this one again so soon?)
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:04 pm rating: +34
#2
amy d
Note number 1: What kinda sick individual would coat panties with steel? Is this the revamped version of a chastity belt?
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:08 pm rating: +26
#3
it was me
*sniff sniff*
aaaaaaaaaaaah…..
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:09 pm rating: +3
#4
amy d
Enjoy the crabs and bad karma just doesn’t have the sweet resonance of Enjoy your yeast infection!
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:09 pm rating: +26
#5
April
“I’ve received calls about missing girls under garments and if caught will be evicted!!!”
If the guy has received calls about them and then admits he was the one who stole them – what’s the point of posting the sign?
Damned show-off
(This is where having someone else read what you write before you post it for all to see is a great idea!)
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:12 pm rating: +19
#6
Woman on the Verge
Can the girls really be missing if they are under garments?
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:15 pm rating: +17
#7
Desuko.
#2 — If you found the missing girls hiding underneath the garments, then they’re not really missing, are they? Should we all be looking under our own piles of clothes for Amelia Earhart or that Aruba chick?
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:16 pm rating: +4
#8
Woman on the Verge
As for note #1…. are you sure you would want your panties back after someone took them and did who-knows-what with them?
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:18 pm rating: +11
#9
GhostWriter
Godzilla will spare the Japanese homes marked by four panties on the roof.
No wonder she’s pissed.
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:18 pm rating: +25
#10
TheOldSchool
It’s probably some misguided* do-gooder who steals them in order to help out the panties-less women in countries less well-endowed in natural resources than ours.
Places like Norway and Venezuela.
*He doesn’t realize this undermines our government’s Oil For Panties Program.
Tags: Good roads, paving hell, intentions, and Norwegian panties.
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:18 pm rating: +11
#11
RunBarbara
Dear Note Number Three,
I can afford my own panties, make no mistake, but your ass is so huge that I can take one pair of yours and sew it into four pairs.
Love,
Claw
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:19 pm rating: +9
#12
Peanut
Did anybody else read it like:
‘I’ve received calls about girls missing…….under garments….and if caught I will be evicted’?!!
Also – “Have spies watching”
Should that be ‘here, have some spies, they’re watching’,
OR
‘Slave, have some spies watch this for me….’
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:23 pm rating: +7
#13
zchamu
Er. Do I want to know why 4 pairs of your underwear were on the roof?
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:26 pm rating: +10
#14
fantasy
Why did you leave your panties left on the roof?
I wonder how much you can get for them?
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:44 pm rating: +3
#15
Joe
“since then, however, it seems the thief may have (ahem) moved south.”
Seattle, Washington: Where west is the new south!
(Seriously, though, isn’t Seattle farther north than most cities in Ontario?)
Jan 14, 2009 at 5:54 pm rating: +2
#16
caleeann
Just follow the trail of vaseline and you’ll have your thief!
Jan 14, 2009 at 6:03 pm rating: +8
#17
JoelWhy
“Bring them back”? Really? Would you seriously considering putting on panties someone else took for…well, I shudder to think what they’re doing with them, but still.
Jan 14, 2009 at 6:07 pm rating: +2
#18
Bunnee
Dear #3–I think it IS pretty pathetic that someone can’t afford underwear and would resort to stealing someone else’s instead of, oh, I don’t know, going commando? Hint-they probably aren’t stealing them to WEAR them.
Jan 14, 2009 at 6:07 pm rating: +4
#19
fantasy
How much are those panties on the roof top?
How much are those panties on the roof top? *(barf! barf!)*
The ones that do smell of a girl?
How much are those panties on the roof top? *(barf! barf!)*
I do hope that those panties are for sale
I must take a trip to Tokyo
and find some schoolgirls drawers
All the way to Japan, I hope I do find some
and then Iwill bring them on home!
I read in the paper there are robbers **(on the roof! roof!)**
With flashlights that shine in the dark
My love for those panties is a strong one!
It scares me to think it is dark!
I don’t want a bra or a garter
I don’t want no smelly old socks
I want panties that smell of little fishies
I don’t want them on a person who TALKS!
How much are those panties on the roof top? *(barf! barf!)*
The ones that do smell of a girl?
How much are those panties on the roof top? *(barf! barf!)*
I do hope those panties are for sale?
Jan 14, 2009 at 6:14 pm rating: +21
#20
unfortunate names blog
who wants them back anyways?
Jan 14, 2009 at 7:35 pm rating: +1
#21
passive but not very aggressive
Japan is full of panty thieves!! i had a friend tackle a man that was making off with his wifes undergarments and the other day my neighbor caught our old general handy man sniffing her panties while they were drying on the line.
Jan 14, 2009 at 7:43 pm rating: +3
#22
passive but not very aggressive
Than Ontario/Seattle thing leaves alot of room for interpertation. But Seattle is most definatly WEST no matter how you look at it.
Jan 14, 2009 at 7:47 pm rating: 0
#23
TheOldSchool
I’m sorry, but this whole thread smacks of blatant sexism against men of American, Canadian, and Japanese descent.
Who even knows if the panties were even stolen?
And even if they were, why do these women choose to flaunt the fact that their knickers have been nicked?
“I’m the tart in Apartment 5. I’m not wearing panties!”
Typically, here at PAN, all the commenters rush to judgement and assume that they were “stolen” by “men.”
As usual, the lesbians escape scrutiny — from “most” of the PANsies.
Another thing: the whininess. Please. Enough.
Over the last three years, I’ve experienced the loss of at least five or six black satin or faux leopard-skin man-thongs, and one set of “Sexy Santa” silk pajamas.
Not once did I even contemplate taping signs up around the neighborhood.
Why? Because I, unlike the blamers, whingers, and moaners here at PAN, I happen to believe that most people are basically good, if not great.
Whoever these nymphomaniac man-thong thieves were, I have to say that their daring amuses me, but I’m not surprised that they’re unable to control their normal inhibitions.
If I were them and they were me, I’d likely be reduced to the same primal sexual urges.
That is a thought that I always keep locked in a special golden medallion, where it hangs from a thick rope-like necklace chain of gold, so it is never far from my heart.
Jan 14, 2009 at 8:59 pm rating: +15
#24
Saysh
One thing I want to know.. were these girls Mormon?? Because they are under garments. And everyone knows that the Magic Mormon Panties are called “garments”.
So, does that means the the whole Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints are the spies?? because if so, that’d be really really creepy.
Jan 14, 2009 at 9:23 pm rating: +6
#25
blueangels7901
That sounds soooo “Revenge of the Nerds”. You know, the guys break into the girls’ dorm, don the undies on their heads, and chase the girlies down the hallway… That’s some funny shit. Crabs? Anyone have Old Bay? Ohhh yeah, beer, must have beer!
Jan 14, 2009 at 9:23 pm rating: +1
#26
Whistlin'Dixie
I think the Dryers want their panties back because it’s winter and going commando just leads to a lot of chafing.
Jan 14, 2009 at 9:28 pm rating: +1
#27
Cookieput
When I didn’t have a machine in my building, I would send my laundry out to a neighborhood family laundromat.
I don’t really wear underwear, but every now and then, there would be a pair in my bundle when I got it back.
Maybe it was the owner suggesting I should wear underoos , but I always wondered about the panties’ rightful owners. Now I see the kind of desperation missing underwear can inspire.
Jan 14, 2009 at 11:05 pm rating: +1
#28
mamason
Concerning letter #3… s/he is right. I’ve got Victoria’s Secret taste with a Wal-Mart budget. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
Jan 15, 2009 at 12:37 am rating: +2
#29
HairySwede
has anyone taken into account that the panty stealer could, in fact, be the same culprit who steals one of my socks every damn time I do the laundry? The sock troll has diversified his portfolio. And what better way to diversify than black things?
Jan 15, 2009 at 1:11 am rating: +9
#30
claw71
Don’t look at me. I don’t keep the panties. I’ll sniff them, lick them and rub them all over my body but after I get my jollies I put them right back where I found them.
Jan 15, 2009 at 9:57 am rating: +4
#31
Harris Bloom
“Panties on the Roof” sounds like the latest *(till next week) hip Brooklyn band.
harris
Jan 15, 2009 at 11:03 am rating: 0
#32
secondsout
Take the panties, just keep your hands off my puma jacket. Wait, no, stealing panties is much like stealing towels – trifling and disgusting. Lisa had those btwn her legs, you know!
Jan 15, 2009 at 11:56 am rating: +2
#33
Syddo
It’s weird that the girl in the third one talks about crabs…telling something about herself I see….
Jan 15, 2009 at 2:20 pm rating: +1
#34
Mishee
This is why I just don’t wash my panties.
Wring and reuse.. that’s my mantra.
Jan 15, 2009 at 5:19 pm rating: +3
#35
Tabayag
And this is why people should just stop wearing underwear.
No underwear = no problems.
Jan 15, 2009 at 9:40 pm rating: +1
#36
Jackson
Don’t they sell used panties in vending machines in Japan?
Perhaps that is where they have ended up. That note would be much more amusing… slapped on the front of the vending machine.
Jan 16, 2009 at 7:38 am rating: +2
#37
Neeners
Yes pleez Mr./Ms. Pervert…… bring back the panties you stole from me after you have done God knows what with them …… I would really like to wear them again! We all know that students don’t have enough money to buy new underwear because of all the books and tuition they shell out every year.
Also, who in the hell dries their panties on a roof if they don’t want them stolen? Dry them in your room….. there is air there too and privacy. Or maybe I’m mistaken.
Also, a really novel idea would be to actually stay and finish your laundry until it is done then others don’t have to “watch out for your panties”.
Does anyone know where I can get my resume in for the “Panty Spy” position? My company is downsizing and I heard my job is on the line. I think I might be qualified.
Jan 17, 2009 at 2:53 pm rating: 0
#38
Hot Gym Girl
LOL! I laughed so hard, I just about peed my panties!! Still want ‘em?
Jan 18, 2009 at 12:57 am rating: 0
#39
TheOldSchool
The thought of these perverted panty thieves out wandering our streets causes me revulsion.
Why can’t they just sniff women’s bicycle seats like normal men?
Jan 18, 2009 at 3:44 am rating: 0
#40
Jendra
Enjoy the crabs? Missing girls under garments? Are these girls hiding under the piles of panties being stolen– apparently from someone who has pubic lice?
Jan 19, 2009 at 1:13 pm rating: 0
Leave a Comment