Mean boys

January 22nd, 2009 · 159 comments

Our anonymous submitter in Brooklyn received this e-mail from his 28-year-old male roommate after purchasing a similar (not identical) blue toggle pea coat. “We are rarely out of the apartment together,” our submitter notes. Hmm, wonder why?

Hey, so i wanna get something off my chest. I know it's a little silly, but it really bugs me that you bought the same coat as I did. for some reason it's really gotten under my skin and it's probably made me a bit of a jerk over the past few days. you mentioned that it's the same as those shoes - but i don't really see it that way. i asked you before i bought those shoes. first. and second, they were work shoes. there was very little chance of us wearing them at the same time. i'll take back the coat, which, to be honest, sort of upsets me, but i guess i'll have to get over it. so, anyway, i guess i just wanted to say that...before i got any meaner.

related: Gossip Boy

FILED UNDER: attire · Brooklyn · e-mail · frenemies · martyr complex · roommates


159 responses so far ↓

  • #1   AKZombie

    Okay, even I’m not this much of a girl, and I have a vagina.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:37 pm   rating: 147  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   claw71 bang

      I know. We can smell it.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 2:48 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   aaa

      I see. I myself cannot. You use Evian skin cream, and sometimes you wear L’Air du Temps, but not today.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 2:54 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   EchoEcole

      That was just a red herring.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   AKZombie

      Aw, thanks, aaa. Care to comment on my good bag and cheap shoes?

      Jan 22, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Breakers

      Okay, even I’m not this much of a fag and I’m a fag.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 4:45 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   clumber

      Ummm… I don’t know many males who would even notice the other’s coat…. Well not the str8 ones anyhow… wait… is that the key?

      Jan 26, 2009 at 12:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   dirty_snowflake

    Geezus. Someone’s mangina hurts.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:37 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Mishee bang

    I can’t believe one, let alone two people bought a blue toggle pea coat.

    homos of a feather….

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:39 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Olivia

      Mishee, no self-respecting ‘mo wears a blue toggle peacoat in 2009.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:13 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Medusa

      I don’t understand how it manages to both be a toggle coat AND a pea coat. Makes no sense.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 9:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe they’re Bi.
      Maybe just the coats are.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 9:33 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   unfortunate names blog

      yeah as a self respecting ‘mo I have to agree here. and on another note, I’d get out before this becomes Single White Female 2: SWM

      Jan 22, 2009 at 11:20 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Lyanthya

      I had a roommate who pulled a SWF on me. She borrowed my clothes so much that when I actually managed to wear them, a few people would say, “Oh, you’re wearing [roommate]‘s outfit!” Pissed me right the hell off.

      She also had sex with 2 of my ex-boyfriends.

      Team note-writer.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 1:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   mamason bang

      Did she happen to kill any of them?

      Jan 23, 2009 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Lyanthya

      I don’t know. She might have.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 2:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   miss D.

      I guess they never read this post:

      http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/10/02/111-pea-coats/

      Jan 26, 2009 at 7:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   leftfoot

    isn’t imitation the sincerest form of flattery?

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Holiday Djinn

      No. I have found that through the years the most sincerest form of flattery would be a compliment, followed by somebody grabbing my ass.

      What can i say though? I am easy.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:15 pm   rating: 51  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   mamason bang

      I thought stalking was the sincerest form of flattery. :-?

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:28 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Saysh bang

      mama – I am ALWAYS flattered by your stalking. Did you like the heated blanket I set outside by the lounge chair for you? Was the coffee to you liking? Are the binoculars powerful enough? I just want to make sure you don’t miss anything…

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:18 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   mamason bang

      Thank you, Saysh. The blanket was snuggly soft. The coffee was piping hot and the hazelnut creamer was delightful! And don’t you worry my dear! I didn’t miss a thing. :twisted:

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Fizzywiggle

    I thought most kids stopped whining, “You’re COPYING me!” in grade school.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:41 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   aaa

      Skwisgaar: Gives to me this waterproof guitar that makes sure can floats.

      Toki: And gives me waterproof guitars what shoots out bugs repellsgents.

      Skwisgaar: Gives to me magic gloves whats can makes my hands fly.

      Toki: Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs.

      Skwisgaar: Gives to me the swords that glows, which shows me which way that is north.

      Toki: Oh and gives to me battleaxe what shows which way’s south!

      Swkisgaar: Stops copys me.

      Toki: You stops copys me.

      Both: Stops copys me! Stops copys me! Stops copys me!

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:56 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   jadefirefly

      Exactly the thought that went through my head, too. Silly Toki and his opposite werewolves.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   K Dog

    I would not be able to resist buying everything this tool bag does from here on out. Hell, I might even take on a second job just to fund this new little hobby.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:45 pm   rating: 74  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   T.U.M.

    That’s one of the nicest PAN’s I’ve ever read. And it sounds like they DID have an earlier face-to-face about, to which this note is just a follow-up. I’m on Team Both Brooklyn Boys. Let’s all go for a hot dog.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:45 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   claw71 bang

      Yeah…if by hot dog you mean anonymous anal sex at a club.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   EchoEcole

      Those coats come with a separate pocket for the amyl.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:25 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   claw71 bang

      And we all know that you can’t spell anal sex without….

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:40 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   chekur

      Banal Sexegenarian?

      Jan 23, 2009 at 9:35 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   claw71 bang

    Ok, I won’t even bring up straight guys. Let’s assume this happens to a couple of normal, openly gay guys.

    Flamer: Dude, that coat looks just like mine.

    Queen: Wow! It does. I guess we both have a great sense of style.

    Flamer: Word.

    Queen: It’s kind of like the time you bought the same pair of Steve Madden’s I picked up at the Designer Shoe Outlet.

    Flamer: I know! I’m so jealous that you got yours for half of what I paid.

    Queen: You know, it’s really a crying shame we don’t wear the same size.

    Flamer: Are you saying I’m fat?

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:46 pm   rating: 84  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Dude

      “normal, openly gay guys” perhaps a more ludicrous statement than the email, stop making jokes on ill-fitting stereotypes, makes you sound one dimensional

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:04 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Holiday Djinn

      Listen “dude” if we wanted to read a queen whine on this page. . . . . oh yeah. I guess it is PAN. Carry on.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:10 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   claw71 bang

      At least ill-fitting stereotypes don’t make you look fat.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:39 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   se

      Ok, Dude.. I’m missing something here.

      what is wrong with that statement “normal,openly gay guys”?

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:51 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   mamason bang

      Should he have left off “normal”?

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   aaa

      I can’t tell if Dude thinks gay guys are always abnormal or if he thinks PAN shouldn’t be so reliant on non-PC humor. But honestly, I can’t really tell much of what Dude is saying because his grammar sucks.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:07 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Really for the best wear you should get a stereotype that is just a bit loose for your normal, openly ‘fat’ days.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:11 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   claw71 bang

      Desert your basic grammar everyday
      if I tried to read your words what would they say
      I’m a man, with piss poor diction
      I’m a man who doesn’t know
      how to use some punctuation
      you post and go
      you post and go

      Comma, Comma, Comma, Comma, Comma chameleon
      you post and go
      you post and go
      Reading would be easy if commas were periods
      can’t read your words
      can’t read your words

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:46 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   Canthz_B bang

      If you have to choose a moniker like “Dude”, you clearly have something to prove…or hide.

      I’ll skip along now, comfortable in the knowledge that stereotypes are all ill-fitting.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 9:43 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   unfortunate names

      maybe Dude meant “normaly open gay guys” and was pissed he wasn’t invited in.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 11:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   MAMARILLA2 bang

    Not just the coat but shoes too. OMG they were the ones that left the Jonas Bro.s copys.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:46 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   aaa

    Lemme guess, this roomie is gonna be pissed when it turns out their weddings have the same colors and their kids have similar names. Grow the fuck up, fella.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:48 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   claw71 bang

      Married? I guess that’s possible, if they move to Vermont. I don’t think kids will be an issue.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 2:50 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   aaa

      Adoption is always an option. If you don’t want to go that route, roomie will be pissed if their dogs are similarly named. “You named your dog Spot? But mine’s named Spunky! I laid claim on that name all others similar to it first!”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 2:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Weevil

      This attitude is what leads to “unique” names with extra vowels.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:17 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Julie

      You are just jealous because your name isn’t Mykynzye.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:26 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   QuarterRoy00 bang

    I think the e-mail recipient should take his coat back, but then get the exact same one this time…and follow his roommate around.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:51 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   A-Sub

    That’s a great idea! I should do it. I could copy everything about him and follow him around until he finally snaps and throws himself infront of a train.

    I could, but there’s no way I’m letting those monsters at Fantastics Sam’s anywhere near my hair.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 2:56 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Andy

    Hulk ANGRY!!!!!!

    Hulk throw hissy fit and return blue toggle pea coat to store!!!!!!

    Jan 22, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Andy

    You know, my buddy was talking about this pick-up tactic he uses at the bar with another friend of his:

    He and his friend go to the bar wearing the exact same shirt and then stand at opposite ends of the bar. It works as a conversation starter because often women apparently point it out to one of them about the other.

    I guess that’s how straight guys approach things like this. But clearly this note is unrelated.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 3:09 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Olivia

      “Do you like this jacket? My ex-girlfriend bought it for me.”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:16 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   teeg

      “Do you like this jacket? My mom bought it for me.”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:31 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   amy d bang

      “Do you like this jacket? I stole it from a homeless guy.”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:36 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   claw71 bang

      “Do you like this jacket? Let’s go have sex in the bathroom.”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:38 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   aaa

      “Do you like it with the jacket on?”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:41 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   amy d bang

      “Do you like this jacket? I made it in Home Ec.”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:49 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.7   mamason bang

      Do you like this jacket? Now blow me.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:51 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.8   GhostWriter bang

      “You and that guy are wearing the same jacket.”

      I’ll bet you a blowjob that I can guess his full name.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:57 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.9   amy d bang

      “Do you like this jacket? I made it fom the skin of my last girlfriend.”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:08 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.10   Frankie bang

      “If my uncle Jack got stuck on a horse would you help my uncle Jack off the horse? I’d let you borrow my jacket…”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:16 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.11   Woman on the Verge bang

      Do you like this jacket? Lemme show ya what I can do with the toggles…

      Jan 23, 2009 at 7:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.12   Ti O bang

      Do you like this jacket? Do you like this jacket on a goat? Will you wear it in a boat? Will you wear this jacket here or there? Will you wear this jacket everywhere?

      Jan 23, 2009 at 8:39 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.13   Goldie

      Would you blow me in a box? Would you blow me *and* a fox?

      Jan 23, 2009 at 2:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   TPS

    So what did the reply say? Don’t leave me hanging!

    Jan 22, 2009 at 3:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Guy with a new toggle jacket

      “ok, if that is what you think is best”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Goldie

      “my sincere apologies. i thought this was your work coat. and since i dont frequent the male strip club you work at, i thought there was little chance of us wearing them at the same time.”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 3:59 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Frankie bang

      “Are you out of your fucking mind? The restraining order is still good for another 6 months. Stay away from me and quit telling people that I’m copying YOU!”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:17 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   plausibletheories bang

    Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 3:47 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Frankie bang

      PAN LIBS!!!!!!!
      you all know how the game goes… follow my lead!

      “Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a dildo without asking your vagina first if it looks good on you.”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:19 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   amy d bang

      “Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a prostitute without asking her pimp if she looks good on you.”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:32 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Frankie bang

      “Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a yarmulke without asking your Rabbi first if it looks good on you.”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:40 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   mamason bang

      “Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a labia ring without asking your mom first if it looks good on you”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:45 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      “Well, I mean, you wouldn’t by a tatoo without asking your cellmate if it looks good on you”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:48 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   claw71 bang

      Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a brown shower without asking the nubile boy if it looks good on you.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 4:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   Olivia

      Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a Roman shower without asking the bulimic if it looks good on you.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 5:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.8   plausibletheories bang

      Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a non sequitur without asking your synecdoche first if it looks good on you.

      …yay rhetorical devices?

      Jan 22, 2009 at 8:55 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   GhostWriter bang

    Obviously, our submitter was caught in the act of playing dress-up in his roommate’s blue toggle pea coat.

    Oh yes, they look similar, but see? Mine has my, umm… watch in my pocket!”

    Jan 22, 2009 at 3:49 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   secondsout bang

    Wasn’t this a movie?

    Start with dressing alike, then get the same haircut, then start freaking out when the boyfriend is back in the picture, then sleep with that boyfriend and subsequently try to kill him. Good film.

    This pansy, though, sounds like he’ll be nowhere near that interesting. He’ll just cry about his coat.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 5:20 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Goldie

      Oh yeah! My favorite movie! And whaddayamean “try”? She killed him. With a shoe, no less. Wait, don’t they already have the same shoes? Here comes trouble.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 5:26 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Olivia

      If I were the roommate, my e-mail back would have been:

      “You know, identical twins are never really identical. There is always one that is prettier, and the other one does all the work. “

      Jan 22, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Goldie

    I want to know what happened after he sent that email. He said he wanted to send it before he got any meaner. My conclusion is, he got meaner right after hitting the Send key. So what do you think happened? what’d he do?? I like to think a PedEgg was involved.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 5:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Jennie

      Or at least a Snuggie and a ShamWow!

      Jan 22, 2009 at 5:33 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   aaa

      Hopefully I’m not the only one who thinks Snuggie sounds like something sexual…

      Jan 22, 2009 at 5:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Wolverine Girl

      Well, aaa, I thought that ShamWow sounded a bit more suggestive

      Jan 23, 2009 at 1:45 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Ashlee

      Headset Vince always makes me feel like a dick for not buying a ShamWow.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 3:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   Jahzzie

      Headset Vince LIES!!!! You can buy the ShamWow in stores.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 6:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.6   Lizzard

      What? Don’t you all spend $20 a month on paper towels anyway? I know I do!

      Jan 23, 2009 at 8:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.7   clumber

      What about his nuts? Even Vince says you’re going to love his nuts.

      Slapchop!

      Jan 26, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Goldie

    Another thing that no one commented on is that he didn’t say “you bought a coat that looks like mine”. No. He said, “you bought the same coat I did.” How do you buy the same damn coat? There’s only one way. 1) take the dude’s coat when he’s not home; 2) donate it to a thrift store; 3) buy it from there. I’d be pissed too!

    Jan 22, 2009 at 5:24 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Flaboy2425

    Well swish, jerk. Put your thumb in your mouth and sit in the corner where you can really be ignored. If you are going to think like a four-year-old girl, then act like one.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 5:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   The Commish

    Maybe when the roommate takes his coat back, the sales person will throw in a pair of testicles as a “Thank You” gift.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 5:37 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Olivia

    I thought my days of retail slave were long over, but I would so apply to work for Burlington Coat Factory just so I could process that return. I’d make him fill out in detail the reason for the return. Then I’d call his roommate and tell him what coat he bought in exchange. Then I’d put an identical coat on hold for the roommate.

    Jan 22, 2009 at 5:44 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   mizkitteh

      Totally! The guy who wrote this note is a tool. I could kind of see where he’s coming from, until he got to the part where he admitted he’d bought the same shoes as his roommate in the past! Call it even and get over it! Or start a war of matching outfits.

      Jan 22, 2009 at 7:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Olivia

      Wait a sec, I think these two are missing a valuable opportunity here. They could totally be like these guys:

      http://www.andrewandrewdotcom.com/

      Jan 23, 2009 at 4:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      Wait, Burlington doesn’t take returns do they?

      Jan 23, 2009 at 7:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Olivia

      I’m not sure, but what I am sure of is that the only place you can buy a blue toggle peacoat these days is at the BCF.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   vancouverite

      I’ve always wanted to return something out of spite, a la Seinfeld.

      Bob: What seems to be the problem?
      Jerry: Well, I want to return this jacket and she asked me why and I said for spite and now she won’t take it back.
      Bob: That’s true. You can’t return an item based purely on spite.
      Jerry: Well, so fine then . . . then I don’t want it and then that’s why I’m returning it.
      Bob: Well you already said spite, so . . . .
      Jerry: But I changed my mind.
      Bob: No, you said spite. Too late.

      Jan 27, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   amazon

    Congrats on the Bloggie nom! “Best Community Weblog” http://2009.bloggies.com/

    Jan 22, 2009 at 6:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   ~D

    “i hate to bring this up, but i was watching you pee yesterday and i noticed that you do it pretty much the same way i do. standing up (except when i’m too drunk), a long stream followed by a couple of quick squirts, then three shakes. this troubles me deeply.

    just saying.”

    Jan 22, 2009 at 7:53 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Goldie

      “it’s really gotten under my skin and made me jerk off a little. i was thinking of you the whole time.”

      Jan 22, 2009 at 11:48 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   mghn bang

    I would just like to know how the conversation about the shoes went.

    Guy: Hey, uh, nice shoes. Where’d you get ‘em?
    Other Guy: WalMart (rolling eyes)
    G: Great. I’m going to buy some.
    (rising intonation making it a question)

    or… do you think he actually asked?

    What the hell?!

    And, you’re going to return your coat? Do people really worry about these things?

    Jan 22, 2009 at 8:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Andy

    “So I wanna get something off my chest”…

    Oh! Oh! I bet it’s sweaty taint stank!

    Jan 22, 2009 at 9:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Lilly

    Did he think that he bought the only one?

    Jan 22, 2009 at 10:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   racerx

    long time reader first time …………

    We all had the identical coats in the Navy and the braided piping was Fuckingdelicious

    Jan 22, 2009 at 11:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Olivia

      In Soviet Russia, coat buys you.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 4:17 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   tinkerbell2

      we’ll be sure to put some braiding on the unitard for you.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 9:09 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   GhostWriter bang

      In Soviet Navy, entire crew shares same coat.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 10:38 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   Olivia

      Having lived in Russia and having seen some of the old Soviet navy coats, it’s entirely possible that they could have done so. All at the same time. Maybe these two roommates should invest in such a coat. Then they could REALLY be twins.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 12:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.5   Goldie

      Okay Olivia, I’m curious. Where in Russia?
      Also, as a fellow ex-Russian, can you pls share Timo with me? I’ve been meaning to ask for a while now.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 3:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.6   Ti O bang

      Jakaminen on huolehtiva. Olla hyvä ystävä ja huolellisesti.

      but I am Finnish! :lol:

      :twisted:

      Jan 23, 2009 at 3:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.7   Goldie

      Olivia is a fellow Russian, Timo, not you. You’re just a random guy we both like :)
      Of course I care. Deeply. We all do. Right, girls?
      My home town was 40 miles away from Finland, actually used to be part of Finland at one point. So I figure that makes me 1.5% Finnish :)

      Jan 23, 2009 at 3:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.8   Ti O bang

      *refuses to do the obvious “little finnish in you” joke* :razz:

      Jan 23, 2009 at 4:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.9   Olivia

      Oy. Goldie, I tried to type in Russian, but apparently PAN is passive-aggressively ignoring the Cyrillic alphabet. Anywho, I lived in Moscow (off Tverskaya Street, which I realize is like saying you live in New York off Broadway or LA off Santa Monica Blvd.) for a few months, which was a few months longer than my visa allowed. You?

      And, hey, Timo, you Finns were once part of Russia, so I think the appropriate joke is that you have a little Russian in…oh, nevermind.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 4:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.10   Goldie

      Ohhh I see. Wow, that was a very cool part of Russia to live in. Yes, pretty much off Broadway.
      I was born and grew up there. Vyborg/St-Petersburg/Moscow region. Then I came here.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 4:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.11   Wade bang

      Ya gavaru pa-russkii… nemnoga.

      That looks much better in Cyrillic.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 5:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.12   Ti O bang

      Silly Word Press not seeing the beauty of the Mother tongue.

      “Mother Tongue”

      Jan 23, 2009 at 7:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.13   Olivia

      Ni znaju, ya zdes’ tol’ko rabotayu.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 7:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.14   Wade bang

      gromko smeyat’sya :D

      Jan 23, 2009 at 7:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.15   Olivia

      Spasibo, spasibo. I also do Chekhov.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 8:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.16   Ti O bang

      That is perfect! I do a really good Kirk… Oh wait you didn’t mean that Chekhov. :sad:

      * Hangs head dejectedly. *

      Jan 23, 2009 at 8:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.17   Geek Goddess

      Would that be Mishee’s mother’s tongue?

      Jan 23, 2009 at 9:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.18   Olivia

      I can talk Seagull OR nuclear wessels, but y’all leave my mother and her tongue out of this.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 9:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.19   Canthz_B bang

      In Russia, coat pees on you!

      *Boy, Bush leaves office and already we’re speaking Russian! :-P

      Jan 24, 2009 at 1:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.20   matt bang

      yay, PrIstupitb PAN Ha pucckom yazbiKe

      Jan 24, 2009 at 7:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Nit Picker

    Oh wow. I can’t believe a man would bother to return something. I can’t even being to get my mind around the rest of it.

    Jan 23, 2009 at 12:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Anis

    That’s what I call being secretely GAY

    Jan 23, 2009 at 5:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   mamason bang

      There’s a man who leads a life of danger.
      In every bathroom stall he does a stranger.
      With every move he makes,
      another coat he takes.
      Odds are he’ll return the coat tomorrow.

      Secret Gay-gent Man
      Secret Gay-gent Man
      They’ve given you a peacoat and it kinda looks the same.

      Beware of pretty peacoats that you find.
      A pretty coat can hide a big behind.
      Oh, be careful where you spray,
      when you give yourself away.
      Odds are you’ll return the coat tomorrow.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Canthz_B bang

      Oh wow, mamason,
      I just happened to be watching the Mission Impossible TV series when I read this!!

      *now craves a dose of The Man From U.N.C.L.E., but would settle for Get Smart!!*

      Jan 23, 2009 at 8:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Amy

    So pleased to see that we live in such enlightened tolerant times. And that institutionalised sexism [from women as well as men!] is still alive and well.

    Jan 23, 2009 at 6:03 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   aaa

      I’m glad to see we live in such stick-in-ass times. And that being a humorless dick [mostly from non-regulars!] is still alive and well.

      Seriously kids, DON’T TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY ON PAN. Um, except for that last comment, I suppose… Yeah…

      Jan 23, 2009 at 8:44 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   chekur

      *Plays invisible violin*

      Jan 23, 2009 at 9:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   se

      3a likes that term “humorless dick”. I’m glad that she’s not talking about me. Women have actually laughed at mine.
      wait a minute, that’s not funny.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 8:09 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Rowdy bang

    Why hasn’t TheOldSchool commented on this post yet? I mean just what the hell is going on?

    Jan 23, 2009 at 6:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   park rose bang

      I was wondering just that very thing, though a whole lot earlier. Which makes me a liar, kind of. But yeah, where the hell is he?

      Jan 23, 2009 at 7:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   EchoEcole

      Really. Because we need even more tangential commentary from a overly verbose meat whistle.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   park rose bang

      Did you change your name, TOS?

      Jan 23, 2009 at 8:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   aaa

      Oh my, first Mishee has a troll, and now TOS. Now I’m wondering when CB’s troll or my troll will reappear…

      Jan 23, 2009 at 1:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.5   Mishee bang

      I have a troll?

      Jan 23, 2009 at 2:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.6   Frankie bang

      I have a mole.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 2:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.7   mamason bang

      I used to have a mink stole but then my roommate got one that looked almost similar to mine so I had to take mine back before I got any meaner because I’m a prissy little bitch.

      Did I ruin the flow, here? sorry

      Jan 23, 2009 at 2:43 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.8   Mishee bang

      I have a bowl.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 2:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.9   Ti O bang

      I have a cinnimon roll.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.10   Goldie

      I miss TOS. Where’d he go?
      Also all that talk about meat whistles completely destroyed my work mood.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 3:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Amy

    *lol* fighting over pea coat’s??? What has the world come to!

    Jan 23, 2009 at 7:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   cheese fries [FBGM]

      *points at your unnecessary apostrophe*

      Jan 23, 2009 at 6:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Woman on the Verge bang

    I would pretty much just be ashamed that I was dumb enough to buy a blue toggle pea coat in the first place.

    Oh, I get it. He bought the coat so that his buddy would buy the same one. He keeps his in the closet so he can talk to all of their mutual friends about his roommate’s poor taste in clothes.

    Did they buy those coats at GAP (Gay And Proud)?

    Jan 23, 2009 at 7:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Andy

    Cleveland: The only British idiom I know is that “fag” means “cigarette.”

    Peter: Well, someone tell this “cigarette” to shut up.

    Jan 23, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   GhostWriter bang

    Wait, is the coat or the toggles blue?

    Jan 23, 2009 at 10:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   JoelWhy

    Hey, stop copying me! I was wearing jeans first, so take ‘em off!

    Jan 23, 2009 at 12:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Emma

    Hm, I don’t know what to think about this one. I never like lending out clothes to my roommates in college, cuz it always seems a little ‘Single White Female.’

    As for buying identical clothes, I would never buy the same thing as a roommate or friend unless I’d brought it up beforehand (i.e. ‘where did you get those jeans? I want some!’). Seems like if you don’t acknowledge it, it’s kind of creepy.

    Sorry, but I have to side the the girly dude on this one.

    Jan 23, 2009 at 4:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Lyanthya

      I’m with you. I had a Single White Female experience, detailed above.

      Jan 23, 2009 at 4:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   Jessi

      Me. Too. Something as noticable as a coat is first-come, first-serve. But maybe I say this because I bought a CRAZY hat and then my friend bought the SAME hat, and was like, “You don’t mind, do you?”
      Still, it was silly of him to return it and then *sigh* loudly.

      Jan 27, 2009 at 12:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.3   jai

      Honestly they mass market clothes. You are going to walk by someone with the same top as you one day and you will be looked upon as the creep. Unless you made the damn top get over yourself.

      Feb 18, 2009 at 11:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Canthz_B bang

    ♫ Mean boys,
    Mean boys…
    Whatcha gonna do?
    Whatcha gonna do,
    If I dress like you?

    Return your clothes
    To make an exchange?
    Too late now you passed
    the date range!

    Mean boys!!

    Mean boys,
    Mean boys…
    Whatcha gonna do?
    Whatcha gonna do
    If I dress like you?… ♫

    Jan 24, 2009 at 1:24 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   HairySwede

    five bucks says this guy is a vegetarian also.

    Jan 24, 2009 at 9:31 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   !!!

      Hahhaha oh man what a joke.
      If someone is that uptight about having the same clothes they should have bought super rare vintage or made their own.
      They seem full of themselves to the max.

      Feb 18, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     

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