As Rick in Tennessee can attest, sharing a fridge with more than two unrelated roommates can get tricky — even in the rare event that everyone manages to keep their paws to themselves. The upside? “While there’s no space in the fridge for food, I’ll never have to worry about running out of condiments.”
Meanwhile, in Washington…
related: Crying over sour milk
119 responses so far ↓
#1
VentureSister
Reminds me of the shit that went down with my roommate last semester. She decided she didn’t want anyone touching ANY of her stuff so we ended up with TWO Brita filters. She wouldn’t even let us use her filter! She really had problems.
Also, I’m being entirely serious when I say I have that yogurt and it IS fucking delicious.
Jan 26, 2009 at 12:42 am rating: 2
#2
fluffy8u
But please feel free to pick up some Miracle Whip!!!
Jan 26, 2009 at 12:45 am rating: 6
#3
TheOldSchool
Let’s hope that Rick didn’t bother to check the sell-by dates. Our moron herd needs thinnin’.
Jan 26, 2009 at 12:47 am rating: 2
#4
Heroin
We currently have five mayos and three mustards in our fridge, and seven BBQ sauces. Sadly there are no roommates to blame, as my husband and I do the shopping together and are clearly a terrible team.
Jan 26, 2009 at 12:47 am rating: 63
#5
areoneoh
all our mayo’s are months past due. they’ve kinda just separated into their respective ingredients. ha ha ha ha, just use your 9 before they split as well.
Jan 26, 2009 at 12:53 am rating: 1
#6
morpho aurora
what, no ketchup?
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:00 am rating: 10
#7
Canthz_B
Things we don’t need: Signs x 1
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:05 am rating: 62
#8
Chris Moran
Nice writing style. Looking forward to reading more from you.
Chris Moran
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:05 am rating: 3
#9
HairySwede
clearly it is time for a picnic
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:10 am rating: 4
#10
Hod
The most annoying part is that all that stuff is taking up room on the shelf with high clearance. That’s like a motorcycle in the last parking spot.
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:11 am rating: 45
#11
famous_lizzy
I’m a little disappointed they didn’t go all the way and point out things like:
eggs x 12
sierra mist x 12
yogurt x 2
I mean, if you’re going to be that anal retentive about multiple things in your fridge, at least be consistent.
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:21 am rating: 20
#12
Lovey
Things we DO need:
1 Ketchup
2 Seperate fridges
3 prozac
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:51 am rating: 31
#13
Hod
Look at the way the second mayonnaise and the fourth mayonnaise fit together perfectly! Proof of God!
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:53 am rating: 16
#14
Canthz_B
In times like these I cannot find fault with a no-frills shopper.
All that’s needed now is a big hunk of government cheese and we’s eatin’!!
Jan 26, 2009 at 2:08 am rating: 7
#15
Troy McClure
Are those … mayonnaise lava lamps?
Jan 26, 2009 at 2:16 am rating: 15
#16
Vautikos
I must say, I cannnot agree with Rick; you can never have enough ranch.
Jan 26, 2009 at 2:20 am rating: 2
#17
TheOldSchool
Note to self:
Never continue reading anything that begins with the phrase: “As Rick from Tennessee can attest….”
Seriously, is not the sun’s light upon our tiny planet blighted enough by the fog of denseness?
As saddened as I am by Rick’s desperate plight, I’m humble enough to recognize that I possess a soul not generous enough to fly to Tennessee and sort through his fridge.
I suspect that few among us would.
Yet, here we are.
Offering advice. Subjectively speaking.
Why do we so eagerly seek out the latest startled catch, staring and leering as it wriggles pathetically before us?
Why does Claw71 feel the need to unbutton his trousers and stroke himself to a muttering completion as Captain Kerry’s latest catch is dropped unceremoniously from the net and into the PAN?
Is there not a person here who is unaware that any one of us could be, at this very moment, yet another fish swimming blindly into the amusement du jour of yet another blithe jester’s blog?
Moral: Find something to praise when you’re mocking others, and find something to mock when issuing praise.
Zig when they zag.
Learn to listen to wisdom of the whispering clitoris.
Always carry a camera-equipped cellphone.
And please remember to keep your comments short.
This is an example of one that is too long.
(I stopped reading after the letter N in Note. I could just tell it would be preachy.)
Jan 26, 2009 at 2:25 am rating: 4
#18
Dina
Has anyone else noticed that one of the mayonnaise jars seems to have contents that defy the rules of gravity?
Jan 26, 2009 at 2:52 am rating: 4
#19
C
Things we don’t need: 4. Underlines under “don’t” x 3
Jan 26, 2009 at 5:25 am rating: 8
#20
T.U.M.
That note has a chilly tone.
Jan 26, 2009 at 8:22 am rating: 8
#21
better on paper
To quote fight club:
How embarrassing, a fridge full of condiments and no real food.
Jan 26, 2009 at 9:36 am rating: 4
#22
mazzi
WAIT! Those are different flavors of ranch. Bacon (mmmmmm) in front… and what is that hidden in back? Spicy maybe? Light? Peppercorn?
Jan 26, 2009 at 10:03 am rating: 3
#23
TPS
What’s with young single guys and ranch dressing?
Jan 26, 2009 at 10:18 am rating: 1
#24
jpav
They probably wouldn’t have this problem if someone would pony up for a lightbulb.
Jan 26, 2009 at 10:20 am rating: 4
#25
claw71
I am quite disturbed by the paucity of beer in this refrigerator.
When you happen to be at the place in your life where you’re “sharing a fridge with more than 2 unrelated roomates” said fridge should either be empty or stuffed to the defrost vents with cheap beer. These people deserve to be inundated with mayo.
Jan 26, 2009 at 10:37 am rating: 10
#26
Themiki
Things we DO need:
1. Girlfriends
2. Hobbies
3. New roommate
Jan 26, 2009 at 11:28 am rating: 28
#27
Spakerman
My roomates and I forced ourselves into a pact whereby we were all prohibited from buying anymore BBQ sauces. I think we had upwards of a dozen bottles.
Jan 26, 2009 at 12:56 pm rating: 2
#28
Julie
For a split second I misunderstood this note and was under the impression that this was some screwed up math equation. So for a moment I thought the note-writer meant there were:
9 mayo
8 mustard
12 ranch
The reality isn’t much better, I guess.
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:03 pm rating: 2
#29
zenvelo
it’s bad enough to post a PAN, but leaving the fridge door open so everyone can see it???
Wasteful!
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:33 pm rating: 2
#30
Ti O
Jeez dude needs to maybe seek help for his mustard fixation.
But if it is fancy goumand stuff I guess I would have to side with him being mad about someone drowning their schnout and asshole hot dog with his good mustard.
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:47 pm rating: 4
#31
SanFran
If I could choose to eradicate Ebola or Mustard from this planet, I would without hesitation choose the latter.
Mustard, as a condiment, is Satan incarnate.
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:50 pm rating: 2
#32
unfortunate names blog
Before Dane Cook though jelly made a better joke:
Do we have any mustard in the house? Do we or do we not have mustard.
You said we did last time. I’m looking in the cabinets & I dont see
any GD mustard. I just wanna know if we have any mustard in the house.”
And she’s egging him on, she’s like [girl voice]
“I dont even like mustard. I dont even like mustard. I get hives if I even look at mustard. Wha–I dont even know about mustard. I’ve never even–What is mustard.
I dont even care.” And he’s like
“I dont even give a shit about the hives. I want mustard in the fuckin’ house.
Stat. Pronto. Tonite. I dont give a–I will break your neck and pour
mustard all over your body and pray to the gods of mustard to burn your soul in a mustard like hell. Now get the mustard!”
Jan 26, 2009 at 1:51 pm rating: 2
#33
Harris Bloom
mustard guy should do what the contestants in the house on The Ultimate Fighter did when someone ate their food – they pee’d in it.
Jan 26, 2009 at 2:10 pm rating: 1
#34
steve-o
that mustard was fucking delicious
Jan 26, 2009 at 2:35 pm rating: 2
#35
Horse
Why does having an ‘illness’ preclude illicitly eating someone else’s mustard?
Jan 26, 2009 at 5:11 pm rating: 2
#36
The Commish
I’m so glad I live alone
Jan 26, 2009 at 5:49 pm rating: 3
#37
667970
The wurst is yet to come.
Jan 26, 2009 at 9:16 pm rating: 7
#38
Canthz_B
I actually agree with the second writer.
I prefer my Jesus wafer with a little Grey Poupon® .
Jan 27, 2009 at 12:38 am rating: 0
#39
Amy
wow…he really likes his mustard! *lol*
Jan 27, 2009 at 8:40 am rating: 0
#40
Erika
The joy of living with roommates. If I ever have to do that again, I’m getting my own dang mini fridge.
Jan 28, 2009 at 7:01 pm rating: 0
#41
ummmmheyyyy
Either said roommates are autistic (for arranging their fridge contents in such a way) or Guy who Took the Photo staged it for the purpose of submitting to PassiveAggressiveNotes.
I vote #2.
Feb 1, 2009 at 12:04 am rating: 0
#42
Jillian C. York
I love that whomever submitted the email one has Google Labs’ “reply to all” app installed.
Feb 22, 2009 at 12:03 pm rating: 0
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