Entries from January 2009
Our anonymous submitter in Pittsburgh says this note was sitting atop a copy-room filing cabinet — and a stack of 50 or so identical print-outs of the Jo Bros. “Guess someone in the office is on Team Taylor Swift!”
related: Let’s not mince words
extra credit: Taylor Swift’s passive-aggressive swipe at Joe Jonas [youtube]
Tags: ex drama · office · office supplies · Pittsburgh
Tom took notice of this “open letter” — a thoughtful missive that clearly merits our collective attention — on a telephone pole in San Francisco.
If we’re really lucky, perhaps this Richard Asshat character will grace us with an open response in the comments, whiteblizzard70-style!
(Note: For your further enrichment, here’s a less faded graphic of the bristol stool scale.)
related: when ph.d.s get angry
extra credit: mcsweeney’s open letters
Tags: dogs · San Francisco · shit · visual aids
Pandering to xenophobes, from sea to shining sea.
related: It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)
Tags: casual xenophobia
Though the issue might not be top of mind for sophisticated and urbane readership of this website, let this serve as your warning: Should you find yourself in, say, Fayetteville, Arkansas (like Melissa, a California expat currently attending the U of A) you’ll soon realize how important it is to lay down the law with regard to proper cud disposal.
Of course, when you live as far north as Baltimore and notice that your boss has taken to spitting chaw in your trash can, the situation becomes that much more dire.
related: evidently, yes
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Arkansas · Baltimore · garbage · southern charm · spelling and grammar police · spitting · your/you're
Dale in El Segundo, California has the thankless job of ordering office supplies, coffee and whatnot for the cube-farm where he works. Really, really thankless. This note appeared on his desk one day attached to a packet of no-sugar-added hot chocolate.
Tags: and that's an order · beverages · California · cocoa · not-so-veiled threats · office
Caitlin at Ontario College didn’t write this note, but she feels for the person who did — she and four friends on her floor also had panties go missing from the dorm laundry room. “The thief seemed to particularly prefer black thongs,” she says. (Unlike the notewriter, however, they don’t necessarily want them back.)
Since then, however, it seems the thief may have (ahem) moved south of the border. The female residents of Alexis’s apartment building in Seattle are now facing a similar problem.
And then…well, then there’s Japan. Jason spotted this note in Tokyo when he was staying there a few years back. Unfortunately, he never got the whole story, but that might be for the best.
related: Are you there, Margaret?
extra credit: Panty thief busted, then busted up [the smoking gun]
Panty thief jailed for laundry larceny [msnbc]
Tags: Canada · college life · kinda creepy · laundry · Ontario · Seattle · sex sex sex · stealing · Tokyo · WTF?
“This guy at my boyfriend’s office sent out an invite — using the company email — for a ‘we’re single, let’s mingle party,’” says our anonymous submitter in Brookline, Mass. And apparently, this wasn’t the first time.
Even funnier than the subject line, our submitter adds, was the party dress code: business casual.
related: You were warned never to push Carrie to the limits
Tags: all-staff e-mail · cry me a freaking river · e-mail · it's my party · Massachusetts · office
Writes Ashley in Thousand Oaks, California: “A few years ago, my grandmother and I were sharing a bathroom, and sometimes I would use her towels. One day I opened the drawer and found this note. Of course, I had to take a picture!”
And then…well, then there’s this.
related: How I “did” my grandma
Tags: California · die bitch die · family · Grandma · not-so-veiled threats · old folks
Our anonymous submitter in Cleveland found this note taped to the office paper shredder. “My first thought was, ‘Wow, this person has issues deeper than the full shredder.’”
related: Especially Deborah
Tags: Cleveland · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · office · Ohio · spelling and grammar police
Writes Liz in Dublin: “I’m submitting a message I received via Facebook to show that while Facebook is a great place to reconnect with old friends, it is an even better place to reopen decade-old wounds of teenage angst.”
Explains Liz: “The e-mailer and I never spoke in high school, and I thought it was odd that she added me as a friend on Facebook in the first place. In the spirit of being nice, I added her back, kept her on for few days (I figured she just wanted to see my pictures) and then removed her. That was about two months ago, so it’s interesting that she’s bringing it up now.”
Meanwhile, Michael in Lexington, Kentucky received a similarly out-of-the-blue message from an old high school “friend” he hadn’t heard from in about ten years. “To be honest,” says Michael, “I’m not sure what ‘ties’ she’s referring to.”
related: tant pis, mon amie
extra credit: 30 rock “reunion” [hulu]
Tags: Dublin · Facebook · frenemies · Ireland · just wondering · Kentucky · Lexington · smiley