Our anonymous submitter in Cleveland found this note taped to the office paper shredder. “My first thought was, ‘Wow, this person has issues deeper than the full shredder.’”

related: Especially Deborah

Writes Liz in Dublin: “I’m submitting a message I received via Facebook to show that while Facebook is a great place to reconnect with old friends, it is an even better place to reopen decade-old wounds of teenage angst.”

Explains Liz: “The e-mailer and I never spoke in high school, and I thought it was odd that she added me as a friend on Facebook in the first place. In the spirit of being nice, I added her back, kept her on for few days (I figured she just wanted to see my pictures) and then removed her. That was about two months ago, so it’s interesting that she’s bringing it up now.”

Meanwhile, Michael in Lexington, Kentucky received a similarly out-of-the-blue message from an old high school “friend” he hadn’t heard from in about ten years. “To be honest,” says Michael, “I’m not sure what ‘ties’ she’s referring to.”

related: tant pis, mon amie
extra credit: 30 rock “reunion” [hulu]

This first note was posted in the bathroom of the Gay Pride Center in New Brunswick, New Jersey; the second, in the bathroom of the Rhode Island Department of Health in Providence.

I’d probably recommend steering clear of the kitchen sinks at both facilities.

related: a filthy hap pit

LJ, a student at Mississippi State University, was up late one night writing a paper when her roommate asked her to stop — the noise of her typing was keeping her up. “I had a paper to write and i didn’t think I was making enough noise to warrant moving my workstation outside, so, I stayed put,” LJ says. “After she threw a huffing, puffing, tantrum and left to sleep in the lobby, I finished my paper and went to bed.”

The next morning, she awoke to a bathroom filled with notes like this one:

LJ decided to respond by giving her roomie a little taste of her own medicine. (Whether the irony was intentional or not, I’m not quite sure.)

Ah, the joys of dormitory living!

related: oh, the irony

Nate’s sister Heather found this note (written on a bus schedule) outside their house in Los Angeles. “I’d like to think Dan took a bus to surprise Roberto, only to be given the cold shoulder,” Nate says, but we can only speculate about the nature of Dan’s attitude towards the future of this relationship. (Zen? Desperate? Really, really flexible?)

Adds Nate: “I particularly appreciate how he gives Roberto the option to improvise.”

related: Tant pis, mon amie

Because it’s Monday and you’re so thrilled to be back at work, I thought it was as appropriate a time as any to bring you these gems from the Columbia, Kentucky and Melbourne, Australia campuses, respectively, of the University of What The Fuck.

(And commenters, please note the enormous exercise of restraint demonstrated by the lack of “anal-retentive” punning in this post’s subject line.)

related: If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today

extra credit: Waste management [youtube]

Josh from Annapolis, Maryland says the first and last note in this exchange were apparently written by Stephen, a college student at a school “known for it’s obtusely intellectual, chronically spacey student body.”

The notes were gone within a few days, but Josh says the situation hasn’t exactly improved. In the meantime, he says, “I’m kinda worried for my own safety. I recently saw this kid chopping firewood in the backyard, so he definitely has an ax.”

related: passive-aggressive mad libs

Just a humble suggestion for 2009…

(Spotted by Charles in Minneapolis)