Entries from February 2009

Daft Flush

February 27th, 2009 · 58 Comments

If you share a bathroom facility with either  a) evil robots or b) electronic music enthusiasts, then the [techno]logic of this sign — from an office in Paris — just might be convincing enough to work.

Push it, clean it, wash, update it!

(But prepare for the inevitable: “One more time?”)

related: Over and over – The Warning (passive-aggressive remix)
extra credit: Daft Hands [youtube]

Tags: bathroom · cleaning · office · Paris

The real thing

February 26th, 2009 · 97 Comments

Our submitter is Santa Fe says not everyone at the New Mexico Department of Health was happy when the folks in charge decided to call their own bullshit and replace the candy and sodas in the vending machine with new “healthy” snacks.

(There is still a “junk food” vending machine in the building just one flight up, our submitter notes, but dammit if the boss man is gonna force full-grown adults to exercise!)

ENOUGH WITH THE FRUIT JUICES & DIET SODAS! I AM A FULL GROWN ADULT! I ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY CHOICES! I WANT A REAL COKE!

related: Blame it on Coke

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Coke · raging against the machine · Santa Fe · vending machine drama

Busted by Facebook

February 25th, 2009 · 94 Comments

See, kids: this is what happens when you live in the awkward part of the Venn diagram where “Facebook friends” and “real friends” don’t overlap.

hmm must have missed that invite...weird...

Glad you can change your facebook status but not call me back

related: making time for the important things in life…like facebook apps
extra credit: bank intern busted by facebook [valleywag]

Tags: Facebook · frenemies · most popular notes of 2009

Southern California: it’s hard out here for a goth

February 24th, 2009 · 68 Comments

Jennifer in Echo Park admits that she stole this note under the cover of night — she found it stuck with silver electrical tape to the back of a battered electrician’s work truck — BUT, she contends, “I would never ever steal someone’s leather pants (out of their truck). I am not a monster.”

To the thief who stole my leather pants out of my truck: those were very sentimental to me and you will never know their value. So please put them back.

Meanwhile, Sam in Pomona snapped this photo at the local Wal-Mart. Will this persecution never end?!

Attn: Customers please ask for assistance for black eyeliner. Thank You [IT'S BECAUSE YOU STEAL]

related: I know where she lives

Tags: California · guilt trip · Los Angeles · retail hell · stealing

Phil the vampire slayer

February 23rd, 2009 · 90 Comments

Travis’s bud Josh — a cable guy in Delaware — snapped this photo while out on a repair call.

Phil  Thanks to you This Park is Now Vampire Free [Eat More Garlic!] Love, The Harts

Meanwhile, Elaine in California is wondering if Phil makes housecalls, too.  “I always get up and open the blinds in the morning to let the light in,” she says. “As soon as my roommate gets up, she immediately closes all of them.”

Light = EVIL :)

related: Oxford drama

Tags: California · Delaware · roommates · signed with love · smiley · WTF?

When a card just won’t do

February 22nd, 2009 · 80 Comments

Juan in Brampton, Ontario wasn’t persuasive enough to convince his girlfriend, Kat, to skip work and go to her own surprise party. His friends were…not so happy.

Happy Birthday Fishie & Kat  P.S. Juan is an idiot

Meanwhile, Sam’s best friend baked this for her husband after he re-arranged the living room early in the morning without telling her, resulting in some seriously bruised shins. “What’s even meaner,” Sam says? “She can’t cook. The cake probably tastes, well…bitter.”

FUCK YOU

Still hungry for more? Sharrin in San Diego, Sam in Daytona Beach, and of course, Cakewrecks have documented plenty more examples of sugar-coated hostility floating around the interwebs.

Congrats on your teen pregnancy

Death is closer than ever

At least you're pretty

Nobody loves you

And then there’s my personal favorite (again, straight out of the michael scott playbook):

Sexual harassment cake

related: “I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.
extra credit: passive aggressive cakes [cakewrecks.blogspot.com]

Tags: birthday · cake · Canada · more aggressive than passive · Ontario · p.s.

Oh, sure, blame it on the housekeeper

February 20th, 2009 · 73 Comments

Says Corrine in Los Angeles: “I walked into my friends’ building and saw these posted ALL OVER.” (Trifling much?)

Did someone's housekeeper take my 2 DOZEN white bath towels from the top dryer by mistake? PLEASE return to Paula #101!

related: come get some

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · excessive underlining · laundry · Los Angeles · stealing

You seem like really nice people.

February 19th, 2009 · 155 Comments

Lately, our anonymous submitter in New York has been going to the HousingWorks cafe to study for the bar exam. Because tables near electrical outlets are hot commodities, for the past few days she’s ended up sharing a table with the same “over-the-hill dude.”

Our submitter knows her table-sharing etiquette: “I always keep the table free of clutter and I don’t chat loudly,” she says. Yesterday, however, while catching up with a friend who dropped by the cafe, her tablemate interrupted to hand her this note, said, “This is for you,” and left.

You two seem like really nice people. You really do. But please don't sit with me every again. Thank you.

Adds our submitter: “I don’t know which is more irritating, the fact that this douchebag told me not to ever sit with him again, or that that he felt the need to write it down and couch it in oh-so-polite phrases.”

related: An official declaration of the silent treatment

Tags: New York · the big "but"

No, it’s not passive-aggressive

February 18th, 2009 · 114 Comments

…but this nail salon’s signage — photographed by Faye in Miami — is just too incredible not to share.

QT NAILS & SPA: Professionally Done By Asians QT NAILS & SPA: Professionally Done By Asians

related: Why I hate Miami, exhibit a

extra credit: Why are so many nail salons owned by Asians, anyway? [businessweek.com]

Tags: Florida · Miami · oh no you didn't · tangent time

Maybe if you had just an itty-bitty limp?

February 17th, 2009 · 342 Comments

First of all, the disclaimer: Our anonymous submitter in Houston lives in an apartment complex with very limited parking for residents. “When I come home from work late at night,” she explains, “the handicapped parking spot is typically the only one available.” That excuse, however, doesn’t seem to cut it for one of her neighbors.

As you’ll see from the note left on our submitter’s windshield, this eagle-eyed neighbor perhaps isn’t what you’d call “book-smart,” but — gosh darn it — what she lacks in basic spelling and grammar skills she more than makes up for with raw gumption and a steely sense of self-righteousness!

To my horror, you don't have a single bit of a limp.

[Rough translation, from our anonymous submitter: "I see that you are not handicapped, but you park in the handicapped parking spot in our apartment complex. I am not handicapped, and I don't know anyone in the complex who is, but I feel entitled to tell you to stop parking there.  Furthermore, I feel entitled enough to have your car towed if you park there again."]

related: Mahvelous, just mahvelous

Tags: "helpful" advice · Houston · kinda creepy · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · parking · smiley · Texas · that's illegal