This is not a party, only a reminder to not forget...again.

You know, I’m getting input here that I’m reading as relatively hostile

February 1st, 2009 · 197 comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “This girl invited every single one of her friends on Facebook into a ‘forum’ to plan for her birthday celebrations…six months in advance.”

The kicker? within a few hours, our submitter says, almost everyone had already RSVP’d.

FILED UNDER: birthday · crazypants · Facebook · most popular notes of 2009

197 responses so far ↓

#1 Laser Sanchez

Oh man, we have the same birthday…

Feb 1, 2009 at 4:38 pm rating: 10

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- #1.1 Sirius
  
  Maybe I’m reading this wrong, but I don’t see her birthdate; I see the date she wants everyone to set aside to help her plan her 6-months-from-now party.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 5:52 pm rating: 5
- #1.2 Melissa...it's my birthday.
  
  Obviously I am awesome for having my group on the front page! It was mostly a joke that I’ve had going with a few people…thanks for the moment of internet fame.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:33 pm rating: 18
- #1.3 Oh, please!
  
  A “few people” meaning ALL your friends? 100 hadn’t responded, 172 not attending, I don’t know how many maybes, and what, 49 attending? Just a few people.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 11:56 pm rating: 30
- #1.4 C
  
  Melissa, I shouldn’t have to explain this to you, but if you send a “joke” like this to hundreds of people you barely know (that you maybe, at best, met one time in high school), without so much as a winky emoticon to indicate facetiousness, very few people are gonna see this as a joke. They’ll see it as “damn, I’m glad I didn’t try to get to know THAT psychotic cunt better.”
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 7:56 am rating: 194
- #1.5 Ti O
  
  LOL
  Okay I mis-read that as psychotic cunt batter. eeeeew!
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 8:29 am rating: 56
- #1.6 park rose
  
  Psychotic cant better – just ask some around here.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 9:10 am rating: 1
- #1.7 lauren
  
  well at least theyll all be free to go to your birthday, lazer sanchez…
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 9:53 am rating: 11
- #1.8 Mishee
  
  Personally I saw “psychotic cunt butter”
  
  *misses RunBarbara*
  
  oh and melissa, it’s only on the “front page” for a day or so… don’t look into that fact too deeply…
  
  *wanders off in search of kerry*
  *still sitting tight*
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 10:10 am rating: 16
- #1.9 RunBarbara
  
  mishee my love, the last time you sat “tight” was your fifth birthday, the day before your cousin decided you were old enough to know where babies come from.
  ps- i dont know if anyone ever straightened it out for you but they dont really come out of that hole.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 9:42 pm rating: 13
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#2 Fawn

Wow, I wonder how many people decided to UNfriend her right then and there… ouch.

Feb 1, 2009 at 4:40 pm rating: 82

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- #2.1 unfortunate names
  
  not enough
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 5:34 pm rating: 37
- #2.2 Melissa...it's my birthday.
  
  actually nobody did. because they get that I was joking.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:39 pm rating: 7
- #2.3 Canthz_B
  
  Somebody didn’t get it, because they submitted your “joke” to PAN.
  Joke’s on you!
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 12:19 am rating: 90
- #2.4 kate the great
  
  Yeah, being that 167 people said they WEREN’T going to attend something six months from now… that indicates that people didn’t “get the joke.”
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 5:53 am rating: 44
- #2.5 Vger
  
  You’re a selfish cunt with an over developed sense of entitlement. Suddenly you’re going to play this all as a big joke. ha. ha. You are heeeelarious. I hope you are as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside so you die completely alone.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 8:33 am rating: 42
- #2.6 Thanks!
  
  Obviously Melissa is a self reightous cunt, you thought we just cared so much it got put on the front page, please girl, all of the new posts show on top, take a shower and wash all of that better than thou attitude off, it stinks! And I believe you really did mean that and not as a joke, but now that you know no one likes you, you feel as if you have to cover it up!
  Get over yourself, no one cares about your birthday except mom and dad, if they still do.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 8:59 am rating: 34
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#3 MAMARILLA2

Ah yes, her life plays out like a John Hughes movie. Bet she hears the cool 80′s soundtrack in her head too.

Feb 1, 2009 at 4:47 pm rating: 23

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- #3.1 GhostWriter
  
  I predict that in six months, the John Hughes movie that plays out is Home Alone
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 9:39 am rating: 48
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#4 eddy

Geez, I WISH I could get people to forget my birthday. They always try and make a big deal out of it when it’s just another day.

This person didn’t realize how lucky she was. Now she’s just a loser with no (Facebook) friends.

Feb 1, 2009 at 4:49 pm rating: 20

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- #4.1 Anna
  
  No kidding, I like to pretend my birthday is just another day. While I appreciate the birthday wishes, I don’t expect people to remember it when most of my friends are parents trying to raise young kids and have enough on their plates. My past dozen “birthdays” have involved meeting up with a few friends at events around that time.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 3:42 pm rating: 3
- #4.2 Monkeyspeaks
  
  Here is a little secret most facebookers don’t realize: You DON’T have to friend everyone that requests it. And don’t be offended when you ask me to be your friend when we’ve spoken twice 15 years ago and I don’t want you knowing my personal info. Or, uhm, if you are the parent of a friend I barely speak to, don’t send me a message asking why it’s been six months and I still haven’t accepted. Unless the note is Passive-Aggressive. Then by all means.
  
  As much as I do enjoy being invited to parties that I will mostly likely NOT attend, please stop filling my email box with the crap. Real friends invite their friends out via Real Life.
  
  No, I do not want to guzzle beers for the SNL party you are having just because your favorite boy-band will be lip-synching that evening.
  
  No, I do not want to celebrate your toy poodles birthday.
  
  No, I don’t want to come to your gardening party. (beside the fact that I’ve been known to kill bamboo and cacti, its 30 degrees outside where I am).
  
  As for the birthday party in 6 months – I will be conditioning my hair that evening. Sorry!
  
  Feb 3, 2009 at 7:28 pm rating: 44
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#5 Canthz_B

She also registers at Lord and Taylor for Christmas to make Santa’s job easier.

Feb 1, 2009 at 4:50 pm rating: 16

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#6 Ti O

They have six months to plan on being out of town.

Feb 1, 2009 at 4:50 pm rating: 67

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#7 Amber

Wow. At age 24, maybe you should realize that six to 12 years ago, people stopped caring.

And, side note: What a selfish bitch. Plan your own fucking birthday. It’s what every normal person does.

Feb 1, 2009 at 4:54 pm rating: 90

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- #7.1 pry
  
  i’ll give her to age 21. after that, you’re not allowed to have a big obnoxious party. um, your friends didn’t “forget,” sweetie. “only child” syndrome?
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:00 pm rating: 52
- #7.2 Mortal Light
  
  Hell, I’m an only child and I stopped actually celebrating my birthday some time around 12. She’s just a bitch.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:10 pm rating: 24
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#8 zombieBlanco

Every August my daughter tapes her Christmas Wish List to the refrigerator. It would be cute, except for the fact that she’s twenty.

Feb 1, 2009 at 4:54 pm rating: 110

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- #8.1 Officer Jim Pantsoffski
  
  Am I the only one who remembers when you didn’t know what you were getting for Christmas because people took time from their own lives to think of what you might like?
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:56 pm rating: 36
- #8.2 mamason
  
  yes.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:11 pm rating: 17
- #8.3 TheOldSchool
  
  Officer,
  
  How does a person take time from his or her own life?
  
  (I’ve tried astral projection, but, as I floated above my bed and gazed at my sleeping body, the only new sense of awareness I experienced was the realization that my hair stylist is worth every penny I pay her. Even from the back, I looked fantastic.)
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:28 pm rating: 39
- #8.4 T.U.M.
  
  No, Blanco, that’s how it’s always been in my family, too. It seemed bizarre to me when I got old enough to realize that other kids presented their parents with a written list of demands like some sort of ransom note. That would have taken 90% of the fun out of Christmas for me.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 11:10 am rating: 5
- #8.5 Lorelie
  
  We always did this weird little thing where we wrote to this fat old dude up at the north pole.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 11:28 am rating: 12
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#9 TuesdayPillow

WWJD?

“Hello to all my friends saved and unsaved alike – I just wanted to remind you that SOME of you forgot my birthday last year, and in fact many of you don’t believe in me and yet you still celebrated with gifts, food, and parties. Never mind the fact that December 25th is not in fact my real birthday but my birthday observed – the fact is, I was sitting in the stable of my birth (which is now an auto body shop) waiting for you all to pray to me, and yet only 6.3 million of you did so. I was very sad – it was like The Passion of the Christ without the crucifixion (but on the inside, my heart was nailed to the cross of loneliness).
So the summer solstice is coming and I thought I’d give you a healthy six month warning, as well as another reminder to ACCEPT ME INTO YOUR HEART so I can cruci – I mean, love you and keep you protected forever and in the afterlife.”

Love,
Yeshua bar Yosef
a.k.a. “Jesus”

Feb 1, 2009 at 4:55 pm rating: 187

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#10 Emily

If you really want to have a birthday celebration, plan it yourself! If you’re an adult, it’s not everyone else’s job to remember and plan something for your birthday.

Feb 1, 2009 at 4:56 pm rating: 15

reply to this comment
- #10.1 Olivia
  
  http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/video/clips/michaels-birthday/116192/
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:55 pm rating: 10
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#11 Bob

Poor Melissa. Has to beg her friends to plan a party for her. The pathetic knows no bounds.

Feb 1, 2009 at 5:04 pm rating: 17

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- #11.1 mamason
  
  Evidently the apathetic do.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 5:47 pm rating: 15
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#12 morpho aurora

sweetie no one forgot your birthday – everyone marked it on their calendars
june 26th = self-centered silly bitch day

Feb 1, 2009 at 5:22 pm rating: 48

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- #12.1 mahlookma
  
  Gosh, that’s my birthday, too. This really hits home. Thank god I have time to change the inscription on the party invites–Self-Centered Silly Bitch Day, it is! *grin*
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:13 pm rating: 5
- #12.2 Skwerl
  
  It’s my ex’s birthday too…can we call it “Self-Centered Silly Bitches and Lazy, Single Minded, Selfish Failed Musician Ne’er Do Wells” Day too?
  
  Feb 3, 2009 at 12:57 am rating: 13
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#13 unfortunate names

this is not a comment, only a reminder not to forget to comment

Feb 1, 2009 at 5:35 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #13.1 Sue Do Nim
  
  I’m planning to comment.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 6:16 pm rating: 11
- #13.2 teeg
  
  I’m pondering a comment.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 6:45 pm rating: 6
- #13.3 zombieBlanco
  
  ***This is not a reply, only a reminder to not reply…again***
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 6:56 pm rating: 11
- #13.4 Canthz_B
  
  I’m contemplating a comment.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:17 pm rating: 7
- #13.5 se
  
  I’m considering a comment.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:21 pm rating: 5
- #13.6 Wade
  
  I was about to compose a comment, but lost interest in the project.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:27 pm rating: 27
- #13.7 mamason
  
  Shoot! I was going to comment but I forgot. I wish someone had posted a reminder on my wall.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:37 pm rating: 12
- #13.8 Officer Jim Pantsoffski
  
  A little comment might be nice. Maybe a little cake or pie to go with?
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:58 pm rating: 3
- #13.9 Tbunny
  
  i was going to comment until you sucked the fun out of it by “reminding” me to comment!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:16 pm rating: 7
- #13.10 Geek Goddesss
  
  *Team refuse to get sucked into commenting*
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:40 pm rating: 10
- #13.11 Mishee
  
  Usually I have a comment about everything, but kerry trying to switch it up to Facebook Sunday (instead of Friday) has gotten me all verklempt.
  
  I will have to take the Blagojevich way out and “Decline to comment” myself.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:44 pm rating: 18
- #13.12 Chinchillazilla
  
  I can’t commit to a comment.
  
  Feb 5, 2009 at 10:21 pm rating: 5
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#14 aaa

They didn’t forget. They ignored your birthday because you suck as a person and everyone wishes you would go die in a ditch somewhere.

Feb 1, 2009 at 6:12 pm rating: 16

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- #14.1 Canthz_B
  
  Mabe she’ll get cake and fruit at the office?
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:23 pm rating: 5
- #14.2 mamason
  
  I hope the fatties don’t take more than their share this time.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:27 pm rating: 5
- #14.3 Canthz_B
  
  Ahh, mamason, fond “reminders” of the day we met. ♥
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:31 pm rating: 5
- #14.4 mamason
  
  Oh, CB! I was hoping you’d remember! ♥ *batseyesadoringly*
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:35 pm rating: 3
- #14.5 Canthz_B
  
  How could I forget? My life has been nothing but sweetness and light since that frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:44 pm rating: 8
- #14.6 mamason
  
  Just don’t shun my frumious Bandersnatch!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:49 pm rating: 8
- #14.7 Canthz_B
  
  My vorpal sword is at the ready, my pet.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:50 pm rating: 8
- #14.8 mamason
  
  *wonders if CB burbled as he came!*
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:08 pm rating: 8
- #14.9 Canthz_B
  
  Well, if you wouldn’t gyre and gimble so…
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:10 pm rating: 8
- #14.10 mamason
  
  Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
  
  You’ve got me all mimsy!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:19 pm rating: 7
- #14.11 Canthz_B
  
  Good, now I can snicker-snack on your borogoves!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:23 pm rating: 7
- #14.12 mamason
  
  You win! You win! I concede to the master!
  *bows low* Hey! Watch where you put your tulgey wood!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:47 pm rating: 7
- #14.13 Canthz_B
  
  I’ll be here if you decide to come galumphing back ♥ !
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:49 pm rating: 7
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#15 you suck at craigslist

My birthday is less than six months away too, and the television networks haven’t aired reminders yet. I’m worried that people will forget that it’s a national holiday and won’t plan the parades.

I should post it on Facebook just to make sure everyone remembers.

Feb 1, 2009 at 6:23 pm rating: 50

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#16 Flaboy2425

Don’t look at me. I plan to be very busy from now until well after your birthday, whenever that is. Notify me when your birthday is over so I can quit being busy.

Feb 1, 2009 at 6:30 pm rating: 17

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#17 summer

I bet she’s fat, and drinks mudslides while she dances, then gets wasted and tells everyone how much she loves them.

Feb 1, 2009 at 6:44 pm rating: 8

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- #17.1 se
  
  Those girls give the best BJs
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:22 pm rating: 14
- #17.2 Canthz_B
  
  Four pluses for fat girls wasted on mudslides. Now that’s a party!!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:22 pm rating: 10
- #17.3 mamason
  
  She tell them how mush she love em. *hic* WOOHOO!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:41 pm rating: 9
- #17.4 wha?
  
  I love mudslides, too!
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 10:39 am rating: 0
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#18 Elaine

Oh, the poor thing. I liked how she put a nice “16 candles” reference! Guess even Anthony Michael Hall will miss her party!

Feb 1, 2009 at 6:52 pm rating: 2

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#19 Juliet

If it’s not a party, then what does she want everyone to do to show they haven’t ‘forgotten again’? Skywrite something for her?

Actually, if all 168 people pitched in they could skywrite something for her…

Feb 1, 2009 at 7:00 pm rating: 5

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- #19.1 summer
  
  something like…”get over yourself”
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:07 pm rating: 18
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#20 Melissa

Please attend guys… 172 people already declined. Only 49 people have accepted.

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?sid=f474c6566c4211f271cd6c3a3e2ee522&eid=42809164909#/event.php?eid=42809164909

Feb 1, 2009 at 7:33 pm rating: 2

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- #20.1 pope suburban
  
  If you read the wall, you’ll see that Melissa keeps dropping comments about how X number of people aren’t coming, and how that’s “retarded” or they’re “meanies.” Because clearly, no one will have to work that day, and none of these people live far away, and no sane person would take one look at this “reminder” and do anything but laugh and decline. Fucking LOVE IT.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:53 pm rating: 30
- #20.2 TheOldSchool
  
  Melissa, most of the posters here aren’t savvy enough to grasp that your birthday reminder was totally tongue-in-cheek.
  
  I did. And I think that it is crazy that people don’t “get” you. I mean, what do you have to do, spell it out in smiley faces?
  
  Do you like having fun? Wow! Me, too!!
  
  Damn the torpedoes, Melissa. Tramps like us, baby, we were born to run!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:15 pm rating: 18
- #20.3 mamason
  
  “Guests are allowed to bring friends to this event.”
  
  Ok, great. I can bring a friend to this “not a party” event.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:20 pm rating: 8
- #20.4 mamason
  
  btw- What does one wear to a reminder?
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:21 pm rating: 27
- #20.5 Canthz_B
  
  Before or after Labor Day?
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:03 pm rating: 12
- #20.6 mghn
  
  well…if that kid is anything to go by, I wonder about the parent. …just a thought…
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:28 pm rating: 1
- #20.7 mamason
  
  This is no place for thoughts!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:36 pm rating: 4
- #20.8 Melissa...it's my birthday.
  
  Thanks “the old school” I’m glad some people got it.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:37 pm rating: 1
- #20.9 Canthz_B
  
  See #29 & #29.1 below.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 12:34 am rating: 1
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#21 Olivia

My money’s on the chance that all of her friends are Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Feb 1, 2009 at 7:34 pm rating: 9

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- #21.1 mamason
  
  Or are at least willing to convert now.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 7:43 pm rating: 15
- #21.2 Mishee
  
  Like hall of famer Rod Carew? I heard he converted.
  
  Oh wait.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:46 pm rating: 6
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#22 Jessica

It would be funny if after she saw this she immediately got embarrassed and upset and deleted everyone who didn’t RSVP. Soon after realizing that she didn’t have any facebook friends and would look like a loser to anyone who did want to be friends with her and started trying to add everyone back(emphasis on trying).

Feb 1, 2009 at 7:43 pm rating: 10

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- #22.1 Joe
  
  “Event Canceled
  
  This Event is no longer available because it has been canceled.”
  
  Why delete her “friends” that didn’t RSVP when she can just delete the event? Cleans up all the evidence while keeping her “friend” count higher. Still, you called it pretty close to the way it happened.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 10:00 am rating: 6
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#23 TheOldSchool

Melissa, what can you tell me about Laura F? She looks so … capable.

Feb 1, 2009 at 7:59 pm rating: 2

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- #23.1 MAMARILLA2
  
  TOS are you feeling OK, Your replys are so… short.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 10:43 am rating: 3
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#24 blueangels7901

They “forgot” last year because they didn’t forget she’s a bag o’shit (guess not much changes within a year). I think I’ll friend her on FB just so I can join the masses (ohhh, about 200 people, or so) in a resounding boycott of her existence.

Feb 1, 2009 at 8:04 pm rating: 5

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#25 mamason

As a courtesy, so all will have time to plan something appropriate, my birthday is June 30th. It’s a Tuesday.

Feb 1, 2009 at 8:30 pm rating: 3

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- #25.1 Saysh
  
  mama.. I already have SOOO many plans for your birthday!! You don’t need to worry.
  
  Not
  For
  One
  Second
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:00 pm rating: 4
- #25.2 Canthz_B
  
  Can I ~~cum~~ come too?
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:05 pm rating: 5
- #25.3 Saysh
  
  OF COURSE!!
  
  Can’t let you think you can’t cum along for the ride
  
  *ride*
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:14 pm rating: 4
- #25.4 Canthz_B
  
  I like rides…and I always pass the “You must be this hung to ride” test.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:18 pm rating: 4
- #25.5 Saysh
  
  I like the “pass the tube o’lube” rides best.
  
  Oh, did I say that out loud??
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:34 pm rating: 4
- #25.6 Canthz_B
  
  I’ve got your tube o’lube, but I won’t be done in a jiffy.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:38 pm rating: 3
- #25.7 mamason
  
  ♫ Celebrate good times! Come on! ♫
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:40 pm rating: 3
- #25.8 Saysh
  
  Your turn mama!
  
  Get up on the rack!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:43 pm rating: 3
- #25.9 Canthz_B
  
  Who said I as done with your rack!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:47 pm rating: 2
- #25.10 mamason
  
  *pushes CB out of the way and rests on Saysh’s lovely bosom*
  
  Well! You did say to get on the rack!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:52 pm rating: 2
- #25.11 Canthz_B
  
  Dungeons and Cougars?
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:54 pm rating: 2
- #25.12 Saysh
  
  mmmmm mama on my rack….
  
  HEY! I’m not a damned cougar! I’m not old enough yet.
  
  Wait…
  
  mmmmmmmmmm mama on my rack…
  
  Cb, you get on my back *wink*
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:02 pm rating: 3
- #25.13 Canthz_B
  
  TIME TO SEND THE LITTLE ONES TO THEIR ROOMS FOLKS!
  
  *slowly lowers shade*
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:11 pm rating: 2
- #25.14 mamason
  
  Saysh sammich! Yummy!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:34 pm rating: 3
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#26 wtf

Man, I always thought birthdays were important.

I, however, do not plan my birthday 6 months in advance.

Feb 1, 2009 at 8:37 pm rating: 2

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- #26.1 Jessica
  
  But, you do get your friends to, don’t you?
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 8:56 pm rating: 3
- #26.2 summer
  
  for birthday diva’s the 6 month mark is the “half birthday”, and it marks the day they will talk about thier real birthday incessantly until it comes, so much so that those around them feel compelled to make a big fucking deal.
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 9:10 pm rating: 4
- #26.3 wtf
  
  Actually, no. At 27, I plan my own parties.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:10 pm rating: 1
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#27 Pity Party

She only has 168 Facebook friends? How sad:(

Feb 1, 2009 at 9:14 pm rating: 3

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#28 Shelly

wow! that’s outrageous and the profile is visible? shameeee.

Feb 1, 2009 at 9:34 pm rating: 2

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#29 Emma

Well she must either be a tongue-in-cheek-kinda-gal or realize what a bitch she is by now. The PAN article is posted on the FB page.

Feb 1, 2009 at 9:42 pm rating: 25

reply to this comment
- #29.1 Oh, please!
  
  Not by her, though. And she’s taken the event down.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 12:07 am rating: 8
- #29.2 Melissa...it's my birthday
  
  Sorry kids, some of my friends were getting creepy messages. just had to keep things safe for them.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 6:42 am rating: 1
- #29.3 Girl Friday
  
  But they were just kidding, Melissa.
  
  You’re not the only one that can make a bad joke.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 9:34 am rating: 27
- #29.4 Thanks!
  
  Wow that was a joke?
  Ha Ha……..nope not funny. Are you that bored? And you put your “friends at risk” I am speechless. I’ll bet your that chic that would call people on three way and talk shit as a teenager except now your an adult.
  Just a guess, but no, not funny.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 10:53 pm rating: 0
add to this thread
#30 667970

Would absolutely love to bake a cake with mustard icing for this provident little lady. And then slap it in her face. And make sure to stab the candles in her eyes… Twenty four fucking times.

Feb 1, 2009 at 10:24 pm rating: 3

reply to this comment
- #30.1 mamason
  
  Reminds me of Pantera’s “Fucking Hostile”!
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 10:40 pm rating: 3
- #30.2 Mark
  
  A new level
  of confidence
  and power
  
  Feb 1, 2009 at 11:12 pm rating: 3
add to this thread
#31 mghn

(Laughing) First – what the hell?

Second- I threw a surprise party for a person like this (who kvetched for months prior to her birthday that ‘no one loved her’) and the night of her birthday she threw a bitch-fit and wouldn’t go out with the people designated to get her to the party… we ended up needing to TELL HER about her (f**********) party.

(Sorry, still a little bit sore because NO ONE got thank you comments/ notes/ emails from her. So rude.)

Feb 1, 2009 at 10:26 pm rating: 5

reply to this comment
#32 plausibletheories

I went to the event, and declined

Feb 1, 2009 at 10:35 pm rating: 4

reply to this comment
#33 Mishee

You think people forget YOUR birthday?

Try having it on 12/26 you fucking whiner.

Feb 1, 2009 at 10:41 pm rating: 37

reply to this comment
- #33.1 anglophile
  
  Um, Mish? I’m pretty sure your birthday wasn’t forgotten last year.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 11:03 am rating: 2
- #33.2 Mishee
  
  Well, not in SOME places!
  
  But IRL it happens more often than not.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 11:07 am rating: 1
- #33.3 Ti O
  
  Mishee™ has forgotten the chippendale stripper cake we got for her birthday. I guess in hindsight we should have let him out before we cut the cake. Oh well.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 11:39 am rating: 6
- #33.4 MAMARILLA2
  
  It would have helped if you had put him in AFTER you baked as well.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 12:27 pm rating: 6
- #33.5 Mishee
  
  Well, Timo got excited and a little confused.
  
  He thought I liked gorgeous men to be baked.
  
  I just like to get baked with gorgeous men.
  
  BIG diff….
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 2:40 pm rating: 4
- #33.6 Chinchillazilla
  
  12/27 here. No, it’s totally fine, Grandpa, you only have to give me one present. Not like you give your other grandchildren Christmas AND birthday presents. It’s cool.
  
  Feb 5, 2009 at 10:25 pm rating: 3
add to this thread
#34 Neeners

I must decline to RSVP for the future party because I have to forget to go to someone else’s b day party that day. I will try to remember to send a belated b day card though. Ta Ta

Oh yes my birthday is next month…… age 42 and by this time I am most grateful when people forget.

Feb 1, 2009 at 11:11 pm rating: 4

reply to this comment
- #34.1 Goldie
  
  Ah ha ha, same problem here. Last year, one person remembered and sent me a bday email that started with:
  “Let me guess, 41.”
  And closed with
  “Take care, so you make it to 42.” I shit you not!
  I hope and pray he forgets my bday this year…
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 12:03 pm rating: 3
- #34.2 claw71
  
  Your husband?
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 12:25 pm rating: 3
- #34.3 Goldie
  
  Yeah, Claw, I agree the first sentence does sound like something a husband would write, but no. This was actually someone I used to work for. Gee, was I that bad?
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 1:58 pm rating: 0
add to this thread
#35 Oh, please!

For real. I’ve not acknowledged my birthday since I was 22 for no reason other than what’s the point? I’m still in my 20s, but they just don’t matter anymore. Just another day!

Feb 2, 2009 at 12:10 am rating: 1

reply to this comment
#36 mamason

Maybe all of Melissa’s facebook friends are abortion rights activists and just find it too ironic to celebrate birthdays.

Feb 2, 2009 at 12:35 am rating: 17

reply to this comment
- #36.1 Canthz_B
  
  That’s fine for Pro-Choicers, but…
  
  wait for it…
  
  Pro-Lifers abhor a vacuum.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 12:42 am rating: 17
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#37 fantasy

I can only imagine what a Bridezilla she will make……..if she ever finds a man that will put up with a hissy bitch.

Can you just see the wedding plans and expectations?

Feb 2, 2009 at 12:56 am rating: 15

reply to this comment
#38 Bob

Looks like the darling guest of honour cancelled the event. Now how the hell am I supposed to know when I’m supposed to start remembering her birthday???

Feb 2, 2009 at 1:08 am rating: 5

reply to this comment
- #38.1 Oh, please!
  
  Start remembering the DAY AFTER her birthday. That’s when the planning should begin.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 1:30 am rating: 6
add to this thread
#39 TheOldSchool

This is still up?

But Melissa explained that it was a joke.

Feb 2, 2009 at 1:32 am rating: 4

reply to this comment
- #39.1 tfan
  
  i know right, how many times and how many ways does it have to be explained that this was a joke? Melissa, I got it too. Sorry you had to take your event down because this comments section is populated by humorless morons.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 8:13 am rating: 1
- #39.2 aaa
  
  A lot of people do things as “jokes” that just aren’t any damn funny. Like the Infamous Kerry’s Neighbors with the Demon Baby Fiasco. (Ooooh, it’s capitalized now…) The neighbors explained it was a joke. But it doesn’t matter. This is PAN and they’re going to be made fun of whether it’s a joke or not.
  
  tfan, we know it’s a joke. And we don’t care.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 8:43 am rating: 13
add to this thread
#40 no

It’s easy to claim “it was just a joke” when you get called out. *roll*

Feb 2, 2009 at 1:52 am rating: 35

reply to this comment
#41 Reibear

>Obviously I am awesome for having my group on the front page!
It’s not a group!

>trying to pass it off as a joke
haha oh wow :{
Terrible sense of humor? I don’t think so.

Feb 2, 2009 at 6:00 am rating: 6

reply to this comment
#42 fantasy

So, is this like one of those “Save the Date” things that are so popular? You know the invite before the invite.

*I never attend if someone sends those out, they just want to give me time to save my money for that “perfect” gift. It’s all about me! Stupid airhead!*

Feb 2, 2009 at 7:19 am rating: 2

reply to this comment
#43 claw71

Melissa, upon being correctly identified as a world class cunt, quickly tried to diffuse the situation by logging onto PAN and declaring her actions were all part of some crazy Andy Kaufman-esque joke. Of course somebody clever enough to craft such a joke would also be confident enough to let it ride and snicker quietly while people lambasted her because, after all, that’s precisely the point of the joke in the first place.

Sorry, Melissa, you lose.

Feb 2, 2009 at 9:04 am rating: 59

reply to this comment
#44 better on paper

Weird, this girl seems to have added an extra 10 years onto her birthday here, cuz clearly these are the actions for a 14 year old.

Feb 2, 2009 at 9:53 am rating: 20

reply to this comment
- #44.1 claw71
  
  That’s the story of my life. 14 year-old girls are always tricking me into thinking they’re much older.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 10:04 am rating: 15
- #44.2 Mishee
  
  You believed me.
  
  Sicko.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 10:14 am rating: 6
- #44.3 claw71
  
  Mishee, with that –ahem–smokey voice of yours I’d venture to guess that a lot of people believe you’re much older than you really are.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 12:03 pm rating: 2
- #44.4 Mishee
  
  Well its not my fault you thought I was 67.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 12:32 pm rating: 2
- #44.5 mamason
  
  I would have thought the training bra and lack of pubic hair would have been a dead give away.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 2:33 pm rating: 0
- #44.6 Mishee
  
  What kind of “training” does DDD require again?
  
  And as for the latter… well, I plead the fifth.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 2:38 pm rating: 0
- #44.7 better on paper
  
  lol what I have started here…
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 3:31 pm rating: 0
add to this thread
#45 Goldie

Birthdays, shmozdays, I’ve been 25 for the last umpteen years and I plan on keeping it that way!

Feb 2, 2009 at 10:37 am rating: 3

reply to this comment
#46 claw71

You know, after you turn 21 you’re all on your own for birthdays anyway. It’s called growing up. Just because you still live with mommy and daddy doesn’t mean you get to act like a baby.

Feb 2, 2009 at 12:00 pm rating: 5

reply to this comment
#47 claw71

Not to go TOS on everybody, but Kasey Kasem has a long dedication for Little Missy Pissy from the Beatles…

You say it’s your birthday *na na na na na na na*
Well whoopty-doo, yeah!
You say it’s your birthday *na na na na na na na*
Well, we’re gonna have a good time *na na na na na na na*
Skipping out on your birthday
That’s how we say screw you.

Yes we’re going to another party
Yes we’re going to another party
Yes we’re going to another party

I pulled down my pants–BIRTHDAY
kiss m-m-m-my ass–BIRTHDAY
People coming? No Chance!–BIRTHDAY
No Chance!

You say it’s your birthday *na na na na na na*
We all say screw you—yeah!
You say it’s your birthday
I don’t think there’s a big line
Didn’t know cunts had birthdays
I hope you enjoy…you!

Feb 2, 2009 at 12:14 pm rating: 14

reply to this comment
#48 MW

Cunty cunt cunt cunt cunty cunt!

Feb 2, 2009 at 1:15 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #48.1 Mishee
  
  Kiss your mother with that mouth?
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 1:29 pm rating: 5
- #48.2 zombieBlanco
  
  MW has studiously avoided kissing her own mother with that mouth, but last I heard she and Claw were tagteaming Mishee’s mom in a little game they like to call ‘Pat the Bunny’.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 1:42 pm rating: 5
- #48.3 MAMARILLA2
  
  Yes well, it wasn’t the mouth that was getting kissed.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 1:45 pm rating: 2
- #48.4 Frankie
  
  Is the bunny’s name Pat?
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 1:46 pm rating: 1
- #48.5 Mishee
  
  Yes rilla… a pair of lips a mouth does not make…
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 1:46 pm rating: 1
- #48.6 Frankie
  
  *giggles*
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 1:50 pm rating: 1
- #48.7 Goldie
  
  Aw, MW, no need to introduce yourself, we remember you still!
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:20 pm rating: 3
- #48.8 Frankie
  
  AHH HA HA HA HA HA!
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:26 pm rating: 0
- #48.9 MW
  
  Thanks for the love you stupid bunch of fucks. It’s so good to be back. I was away organizing Crinklefest 2009 if you want to sign up. You have to bring your own cunts though.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:33 pm rating: 0
- #48.10 Frankie
  
  BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:35 pm rating: 0
- #48.11 Mishee
  
  I try to take my cunt with me everywhere. That way it doesn’t get lost or misused in my absence.
  
  Like that poor guy with the detachable penis. Had to buy the fucker back at a sidewalk sale! How wrong is that?
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:36 pm rating: 6
- #48.12 amy d
  
  It also prevents you from having to call to it like a lost dog.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:39 pm rating: 1
- #48.13 Mishee
  
  I only do that to yours amy.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:40 pm rating: 2
- #48.14 MW
  
  Heeeeeeeere cunty cunt! Come on, puddin’! That’s a girl! Aw my little cunty!
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:42 pm rating: 0
- #48.15 Frankie
  
  Why are we still in here? The party moved to the next page about three hours ago.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:46 pm rating: 0
- #48.16 Mishee
  
  “Couldn’t I just say vagina??”
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:54 pm rating: 1
- #48.17 MW
  
  No uptight cunts allowed at Crinklefest. Go to the Dr. Ruth seminar and discuss your vadge all you want, condition your epic bush and crunch on some granola while you’re at it.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 4:58 pm rating: 1
- #48.18 Frankie
  
  VAGINA!
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 5:00 pm rating: 0
- #48.19 Mishee
  
  MW – I suggest you invest the time to watch E!’s 101 Most Unforgettable SNL Moments and then get back to me.
  
  You might get that joke around #55… Might…
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 5:09 pm rating: 1
- #48.20 MW
  
  I don’t know, last time I checked I was pretty fucking stupid. It would probably take me until #56.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 5:19 pm rating: 0
- #48.21 Frankie
  
  See now you’re just putting yourself down… That’s sad.
  
  I’m sad for you now.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 5:21 pm rating: 0
- #48.22 MW
  
  Don’t be. I have a frozen pizza in the freezer and Intervention is on tonight. Then I might throw myself over my balcony. I don’t know, we’ll see how it all pans out.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 5:24 pm rating: 2
- #48.23 Mishee
  
  Well considering that its a countDOWN I highly doubt that by #56 you will get it. Maybe by #53 since you are a little slow.
  
  I see you got a new helmet too.
  
  and on another note.. who the fuck watches Intervention when Heroes is FINALLY back after what seems like FOREVER? Once again, my helmet point is made.
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 5:27 pm rating: 1
- #48.24 MW
  
  My new helmet is shiny! I wear it with my crocs!
  
  Feb 2, 2009 at 5:30 pm rating: 1
add to this thread
#49 Meg

I want screencaps of the group’s wall and comments before it got deleted!

Feb 2, 2009 at 2:15 pm rating: 3

reply to this comment
#50 fluffy8u

Um… did anybody see the party date and time? That party is 24 hours long. Doesn’t bother me so much as the “where.” She states: “Everywhere I am”

Does the party follow her into the bathroom?!

Feb 3, 2009 at 2:11 pm rating: 2

reply to this comment
- #50.1 MAMARILLA2
  
  She believes herself to be omnipresent.
  
  Feb 3, 2009 at 2:52 pm rating: 0
add to this thread
#51 thegreenjellybean

Joke or not, there are people who are actually like that and it’s really sad. Also, this was a really bad joke–not in a “holy shit, you’re an asshat”-type of ‘bad joke’ but a “holy shit, your sense of humor needs work”-type of ‘bad joke’.

Feb 6, 2009 at 5:43 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
#52 fiesta suspendida

[...] [roughly translated: PARTY SUSPENDED for want of friends' cooperation... (we'll see you at the 50th) ricky] related: you know, i’m getting input here that i’m reading as relatively hostile [...]

Feb 16, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
#53 facebook: a place for navel-gazing narcissists

[...] related: you know, i’m getting input here that is relatively hostile [...]

Aug 26, 2009 at 9:29 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
#54 facebook: a place for navel-gazing narcissists

[...] related: you know, i’m getting input here that is relatively hostile [...]

Aug 26, 2009 at 9:29 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
#55 facebook: a place for navel-gazing narcissists

[...] related: you know, i’m getting input here that is relatively hostile [...]

Aug 26, 2009 at 9:29 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
#56 Maybe it was the “Bring your own Sprite” part that turned people off? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] This is not a party, only a reminder to not forget…again. [...]

Jun 23, 2010 at 8:50 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
#57 It’s my pity party, and I’ll whine if I want to | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] on Facebook, the “proactively setting the bar low” approach (as opposed to proactively setting the bar high) might yield better results…that is, if your friends still pity you enough to put with your [...]

Jul 25, 2010 at 9:26 pm rating: 0

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You know, I’m getting input here that I’m reading as relatively hostile

February 1st, 2009 · 197 comments

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