The classic all-staff e-mail

February 5th, 2009 · 99 comments

Shirley in Canada says one of her coworkers sent this e-mail to the entire building — several hundred people in all — after what we can only assume was an unsuccessful half-day cooling-off period. (Or perhaps just several hours spent choosing the most whimsically enraged font/color combination.)

To Whomever helped themselves to my Jarhead poster that hung in my cubicle. there are many other pictures you forgot to steal as well, along with things in drawers and foodstuffs you could have claimed as your own. I guess I'll just leave these out for you when the feeling strikes again that you'd like to pillage my cubicle for your own gain.

Meanwhile, this all-staff e-mail was sent to over 400 employees in Australia — “more than half of whom don’t even work in the same postcode.”

I'd like to thank who ever left the car magazine on my desk for me to read. That was really lovely. Thank you.

related: fight or flight

FILED UNDER: all-staff e-mail · Australia · Canada · e-mail · guilt trip · office · stealing · thanks (but not really)


99 responses so far ↓

  • #1   unholyghost2003 bang

    15 min later, when her pen rolled under her desk, Brenna realized that her poster had just fallen down. Oddly, no ‘everyone email’ retraction was issued.

    Feb 5, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 68  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Ti O bang

      days later the poster mysteriously reappeared and the “thanks for returning it” email went out.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 3:56 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   TheOldSchool

      Unholyghost2003 and Ti O have pieced together the most likely scenario. Well done! Now who wants to make the do-nut run?

      Feb 5, 2009 at 5:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      It was Miss Scarlett in the Library with the candlestick!

      Feb 5, 2009 at 5:12 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      This was a classic intervention.. saving her from bad movie memories.

      Feb 6, 2009 at 2:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Mishee bang

    Sadly, Brenna failed the haiku class that she took at the local community center.

    Apparently she never learned how to count syllables.

    Feb 5, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   amy d bang

      No big surprise there. She also failed the Using Sentence Structure for Clarity course she took the semester before.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:16 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Frankie bang

      Brenna must be Irish.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   claw71 bang

      How can you say that, Frankie? She’s stupid, not drunk. That would make her Italian.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   VB

    Dear Brenna,

    Can you keep Fig Newtons in your desk? I haven’t stolen.. err, had those in years!

    Kthnxbai

    Feb 5, 2009 at 2:06 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Themiki bang

    When you’re done with that car magazine please return it to Brenna’s desk, as that’s where I pillaged it from. Thank you.

    Feb 5, 2009 at 2:09 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Monkeyspeaks

      Actually – I think Lucy would probably enjoy it as some light bathroom reading – please send it to the Musician Theatre with the restroom problem

      Feb 5, 2009 at 3:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Frankie bang

    So would the next step be to make missing poster posters?

    Feb 5, 2009 at 2:16 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   amy d bang

      Ha! Have you seen my poster? He answers to the name of Jarhead.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:18 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   claw71 bang

      I’m sorry ma’am, but we can’t fill out a missing poster report unless the poster has been missing for a period of at least 48 hours.

      Are you sure you didn’t get into an argument with your poster?

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:21 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Mark bang

      YOU want to complain…look at these shoes…I’ve only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:41 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Sirius bang

      If you complain, nothing happens – you might as well not bother.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 3:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   canadian deadhead

      Na – ‘e’s not dead: ‘e’s probably just pining for the fjords!

      Feb 5, 2009 at 5:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Kelly

      But officer, the poster is under 13 years old!

      Feb 5, 2009 at 7:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Kansas girl

    I can’t even tell if the second one is sincere (i.e., from a car lover) or sarcastic (someone objecting to having trash left on their desk).

    Feb 5, 2009 at 2:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   mamason bang

      When in doubt, always lean toward sarcasm.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:21 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   claw71 bang

    Brenna:

    I had nothing to do with the liberation of your Jarhead poster as I was in the office kitchen gathering wayward lunches. However, I would very much like to pillage your foodstuffs later this afternoon.

    And when I’m finished, I wouldn’t mind plundering your booty.

    Feb 5, 2009 at 2:19 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   claw71 bang

    No sweat on the magazine, dear. I noticed it on the floor in the stall while I was pooping and thought you might enjoy it.

    Feb 5, 2009 at 2:24 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Mishee bang

      You weren’t in the lobby bathroom though were you?

      You are such an uncool kid.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   claw71 bang

      I refuse to give in to peer pressure, Mishee. If all the cool kids jumped off a bridge, would you do it too? Probably, but what if they all ran out and bought the latest Miley Cyrus CD?

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:34 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Mishee bang

      If they did that and expected me to conform, I would probably go jump off a bridge.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:42 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   anglophile bang

      Sure there’s no sweat on the magazine, claw. But the mind reels at the thought of what is on the magazine.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:48 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   amy d bang

      A sperm spray/fecal mist combo?

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   MW

      With just a hint of Anthrax…

      Feb 5, 2009 at 2:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   VB

      If I bought a Miley Cyrus CD, I would want to jump off a bridge.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 3:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   Mark bang

      I’m the Man? Caught in a Mosh?

      Feb 5, 2009 at 3:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   Sirius bang

      Probably, but what if they all ran out and bought the latest Miley Cyrus CD?

      Miley’s income would increase, and she’d be able to buy some damn underwear.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   Monkeyspeaks

      So let me get this straight…. 25 yr old who owns a Hannah Montana microphone and wig = uncool…. or cool? Cause if so, Im the baddest mofo in here.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.11   TheOldSchool

      I just read the lyrics to “achey-breaky heart” (fucking hell, how bored am I?), and I was somewhat dismayed to discover what a homicidally jealous psychopath Mylie’s dad appears to be.

      Dismayed, but not surprised.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.12   Monkeyspeaks

      I guess the art servers will have to wait because now i HAVE to read those lyrics.

      [edit] – upon further inspection – not only is Billy Rae Cyrus insane – but has some severe manic depression issues he may want to work out. No wonder his daughter is dating men twice her age and posing nude for magazines.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   MW

    Nobody wants your foodstuffs, brenna. Pyschotic soup sprinkled with a hint of neurosis and a dash of sarcasm isn’t really all that popular these days, go figure.

    Feb 5, 2009 at 2:50 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   C

    Other pictures in Brenna’s cubicle:
    -New Kids on the Block world tour poster
    -Devon Sawa “Tiger Beat” insert
    -candid of Brenna on the toilet

    Feb 5, 2009 at 3:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   TheOldSchool

      C, the hypothetical specimens you’ve provided are excellent examples of exactly how tricky a discussion like this can be.

      To some sensibilities, the items you’ve mentioned would be highly prized retro-ironic kitsch.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Mishee bang

      C – that’s not Brenna… that is Jenny McCarthy in an ad for Candies.

      http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v352/morganzola/gfy/jennycandies.jpg

      Feb 5, 2009 at 7:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   summer

    foodstuffs, let’s discuss this word.

    Feb 5, 2009 at 3:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   TheOldSchool

      stuff that gets stuffed?

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   TheOldSchool

    This is conceptually troubling.

    Think about what this means. There was art in Brenna’s cubicle that was deemed to be
    even LESS desirable than a Jarhead poster!

    How grievous was the crap that the thief left behind?

    What could be worse?

    It would be “helpful” to see photos of the cubicle.

    Feb 5, 2009 at 3:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Monkeyspeaks

      Look, in this economy……

      Sometimes shit to tear up for fires are worth more than fig newtons

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   TheOldSchool

      Fig Newtons don’t burn? I always wondered what gave them that zesty asbestosy aftertaste we all know and flinchingly respect.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Monkey Speaks bang

      silly, the delisciously flavored treats of unknown substances get that lovely aroma from the lead fumes that are released during production.

      You should really try out the three flavor pack – what a lovely bouque

      Feb 5, 2009 at 8:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   teeg

    I don’t even know what (or who) Jarhead is. I assume once I’m done Googling I will feel sorrier for brenna.

    Feb 5, 2009 at 3:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Themiki bang

      Jarhead is a stupid stupid movie about the Marines starring Jake Gyllenhall. Commence feeling sorry for Brenna.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   TheOldSchool

      What’s that, Teeg?

      Sorrier than you already feel?

      Don’t have a clue who JarHead is?

      My oh my. Teeg is making a VOCIFEROUS claim of innocence.

      “Listen, Teeg. Start talking, and I mean, talking fast. Where were you on Wednesday, June 8, 2008? Oh really? OK, Punk. Maybe a trip downtown will help refresh your memory.”

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   TheOldSchool

    I’ve already ruled out the possibility that the thief stole the JH poster in order to correct Brenna’s one aesthetic misstep — primarily due to the word selection she used in her e-mail.

    (The fact that her name is Brenna, and that she is so “cubicle-proud,” were also factored into my grim conclusion.)

    Feb 5, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Geek Goddess

      I feel like I am really missing out, not having a cubicle and all. :(

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   TheOldSchool

      Sadly, they’re misnamed.

      They should be called something like “Perma-Flex, Semi-Private, Executive Suite Stations.”

      Either that, or “Toilet-less Honey Buckets.”

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Monkey Speaks bang

      That’s why Lucy is going to the lobby to poop.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 5:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   JoelWhy

    The car magazine was in exchange for the Jarhead poster. It was a fair trade, so quit complaining!

    Feb 5, 2009 at 4:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Holiday Djinn

    The real question is why would anybody steal a poster for this shitty movie? Seriously? I mean, The poster has virtually no monetary value. The design if like the dvd cover is godawful. I speculate that whoever took it was really doing this bitch a favor.

    Feb 5, 2009 at 4:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   amoi

      Some people really value their “stuff.” Apparently, at least one person shares her taste in movies. Maybe they should meet up. She might even get laid.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Andy

    Brenna,

    Jarhead is a movie about Americans fighting for America. You’re cannuck ass has no business displaying it! Come to America and try to take it from me, commie. These colors don’t run!

    And in the words of the most American American ever, “I’ll be back” for those foodstuffs soon enough!

    Feb 5, 2009 at 5:38 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Mark bang

      America, FUCK YEAH!
      Coming again, to save the mother fucking day yeah

      Feb 5, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Mishee bang

      ummm… Andy….

      he’s from Austria and we can barely understand him… the “most American American ever”???

      I don’t think so.

      Apparently he isn’t your governor.

      Fucker. IOU MY FUCKING ASS! GIMME MY FUCKING TAXES YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!

      January 2011 isn’t soon enough… Recall anyone?

      Vote Newsom!! (he’s fucking hawt!!)

      Feb 5, 2009 at 5:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Frankie bang

      Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker.
      You’re a cock-sucking, ass-licking uncle fucker.
      You’re an uncle fucker, yes it’s true.
      NOBODY fucks uncles quite like you.

      Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker.
      You’re the one who fucked your uncle, uncle fucker.
      You don’t eat or sleep or mow the lawn, just fuck your uncle all day long.

      I’m sorry I thought we were singing songs by the southpark guys…

      Feb 5, 2009 at 5:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Mishee bang

      The smut we must stop
      The trash we must bash
      The Laughter and fun
      Must all be undone
      We must blame them and cause a fuss
      Before somebody thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!!!!

      Blame Canada!!

      Feb 5, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   unholyghost2003 bang

      DUDES! I was living in that cesspit place California then and I voted for Larry Flynt

      Feb 5, 2009 at 6:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Mishee bang

      well ghostie, by starting that post with “DUDES” you sound like a native.

      Also, I know you only voted for Flynt cause you have that hard core porn addiction. But I still love you.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 6:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Monkey Speaks bang

      Ahh-nald is the new Bush

      Feb 5, 2009 at 6:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   Andy

      Oh no, Mishee! You don’t say! Austrian!?

      I thought that lovely accent was from New Jersey! Well then, g’day, mate! Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie!

      PS: How the hell could you not catch my sarcasm?

      PPS: How the hell could you not love Arnold?

      PPPS: How the hell did I misuse “you’re”?

      Feb 5, 2009 at 6:32 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.9   Mishee bang

      Well Arnold has put my lovely state into a huge deficit, he has support for Prop 8 (he thinks that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman), and many other issues that I don’t have time to type since I don’t want to get fired…

      Once he isn’t running my state and he moves back to Hollywood where he belongs, I might get over it in a few years and watch another Terminator movie.

      Until then… FUCK ARNOLD.

      PPPS: Oh look! A preview button!

      Feb 5, 2009 at 6:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.10   Monkey Speaks bang

      Andy – no one in california likes ahnold. And if you do… then I’m guessing you are unaffected by money.

      Mish – So… If California can send us an IOU for our return, can we send them an IOU for the money we owe? I mean. Fair is fair.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 6:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.11   Mishee bang

      Well, they are trying to tell me I owe them $148 for not getting taxes taken out of $1250 of unemployment. (apparently the $44,000+ I made when I WAS working didn’t count for shit…)

      They can fuck off.

      I will file my state taxes on April 15.

      Suck it Arnold… Suck it hard.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 6:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.12   Monkey Speaks bang

      gggrreeeaaatttt. So I guess I owe Fla about the same amount. Yea. I don’t understand that. WTF. Why don’t they take it outo f the money I made? I dunno. But whatever. I’m expensing my move on my taxes and that cost close to 10G.

      minus the fucking rugs.

      Feb 5, 2009 at 7:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.13   Canthz_B bang

      I hate missing out on the newest developments in the world.
      When did Canada break loose from North America?
      If you want to find some really “American” Americans, a new casino is a good place to look. ;-)

      Feb 5, 2009 at 10:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.14   Canthz_B bang

      Poor NJ, I stopped filing a state tax return with them as of my 2004 taxes.
      They never wrote me, so I returned the favor! :-P

      PPPPS: Yes, we Jerseyans have a lovely accent! :-D

      Feb 6, 2009 at 12:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.15   Ti O bang

      I’m so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There’s no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work very hard to be number one guy / but, stiwr there’s no one to right up my rife / Seems rike no one takes me serirousry / And so, I’m ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There’s no one I can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It’s kinda siwry / but, not reawry / because, it’s fiwring my body with rage / I’m the smartest, most crever, most physicawry fit / but, none of the women seem to give a shit / Maybe someday, they’wr awr notice me / And untiwr then, I’wr be ronery / Yeah, a rittle ronery / Poor rittle me…

      Feb 6, 2009 at 10:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.16   Monkey Speaks bang

      MATT DAMON!!!!!!

      Feb 6, 2009 at 12:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.17   lightspeed

      I’m no Arnold supporter, but you can’t really blame all of California’s problems on him. As much as I’d like to, we have much deeper, fundamental problems than 1 guy. I think we give WAY too much credit and blame to our politicians…kind of like we do for actors in really bad movies like Batman & Robin…oh wait…

      Feb 6, 2009 at 1:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.18   Wade bang

      I blame Howard Jarvis and Proposition 13.

      I wonder if he is still in that taxi cab: “Well, I’ll give him another twenty minutes, but that’s it!”

      :lol:

      Feb 6, 2009 at 2:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.19   Mishee bang

      Wade: Just don’t call me Shirley. I hate that!

      Feb 6, 2009 at 2:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Andy

    Ahhh, this reminds me of that time when…

    Wait, nevermind. This doesn’t remotely remind me of anything. Ever. Who the F@#$( hangs up a Jarhead poster at work!?

    Feb 5, 2009 at 5:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   unfortunate names

      not sure, but there’s a good chance there will be a bullet for everyone if anything else goes missing .

      Feb 5, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Neeners

    I feel your pain Brenna, I too once worked in a cubicle farm. It took a long time but I finally escaped, now I have my own office where I can put motivational posters up.

    You should be thankful you weren’t attacked by this hooligan. Raping and pillaging normally go together. Luckily they didn’t know that!

    Feb 5, 2009 at 8:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Woman on the Verge bang

    If someone pillaged my workspace I would consider it cleaning and leave a thank you note. Especially if they took any random posters of crappy movies. Wait, I don’t have any of those. If I put one up, will someone pillage? Please?

    Feb 5, 2009 at 8:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   TheOldSchool

    If Brenna was serious about catching the JarHead thief, she would:

    a) Put up a similarly themed film poster. (Top Gun, Cabaret, etc.)

    b) Have the poster “booby-trapped” so that when its push pins are pulled, a giant* invisible-yet-indomitable cage will instantly fall from the ceiling, trapping the scoundrel like a startled mime caught in your headlights.

    And this time, they’re on bright.

    *Actual size varies. Must be large enough to contain an adult, but small enough to fit inside a cubicle.

    Feb 5, 2009 at 9:02 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   better on paper bang

    And yet we just know some one hit reply all to both of these messages to make a sarcastic PA note of their own, which then digressed into many more follow up reply all emails that said nothing more than “don’t use reply all!”

    Feb 5, 2009 at 10:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Sue Do Nim bang

    I’m still waiting for Brenna to comment that she was just kidding and everyone at work “got it.”

    Feb 5, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   brenna

      Thanks

      I like my jarhead poster bc it says “welcome to the suck”, and since I live in a cube 5 days of the week, i smile when i see it. I wrote that email in the spirit of PA AND i wrote it because it was just as ridiculous as taking the poster in the first place.

      I am Irish.

      Feb 6, 2009 at 10:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Mishee bang

      So you are saying what?

      That you are drunk right now?

      (and now I know how to start my next intimate encounter with Mister Mishee… thanks for the tagline!)

      Feb 6, 2009 at 10:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Frankie bang

      I KNEW IT!

      Feb 6, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Ti O bang

      I would like a little Irish…
      *holds out coffee mug*

      Huh, wha? Oh, OH! sorry.

      Feb 6, 2009 at 11:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Ti o, the bottle is over at HQ, Oh, maybe you meant…. (face turns bright red)

      Feb 6, 2009 at 11:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   Mishee bang

      rilla – rule number one of fight club.

      don’t talk about fight club.

      Feb 6, 2009 at 11:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.7   Ti O bang

      Derrka derrka derrka!

      Feb 6, 2009 at 12:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Canthz_B bang

    I didn’t forget to steal the other pictures in your cubicle.
    I just couldn’t find a buyer for pics of your buck-toothed, red-headed step-children.
    You really should enroll in our Group Dental Plan.

    Feb 6, 2009 at 12:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Themiki bang

    P.S. Printing out Jarhead posters is an excellent use of company resources.

    Feb 6, 2009 at 3:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Sheepish bang

    I tried to watch Jarhead and I soon lost interest in the project. The only thing I remember was that Jake Gyllenhaal was in it. So, I figured the poster would have a super dreamy picture of him all decked out in army garb so that 13 year old girls could oggle him. So I googled the movie poster to find that it’s just a rusty dog tag with a lame tag line. Not worthy of my half-wall.

    Feb 6, 2009 at 11:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   aaa

    Sooo… Does that mean the people in the different postal codes should mail this person car magazines? I mean, is this a plea for more car magazine? Or would the bodybuilding mags from my work suffice?

    Feb 6, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Erika

    Is that Papyrus? Is Papyrus the new Comic Sans?

    Feb 10, 2009 at 9:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   anglophile bang

      It’s Tempus Sans ITC.

      Feb 10, 2009 at 9:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   sj34

    oh bless you! i was just coming out of lurkdom to ask about this whimsically enraged font!

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   but what about hawaiian shirt day?

    [...] related: the classic all-staff e-mail [...]

    Mar 23, 2009 at 7:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   miss place is SO SERIOUS

    [...] related: the classic all-staff e-mail [...]

    Oct 15, 2009 at 1:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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