writes michael in st. louis: “i’ve tried my best to figure out the logic behind writing this note and then putting the salami back in the fridge, rather than simply throwing it away…” but so far, no luck. in any case, he says, “i’m glad that it’s been saved it for posterity, so it could be uploaded here.”
related: did you ever consider the possibility that…oh, never mind.
88 responses so far ↓
#1
Hops
So it doesn’t stink up the garbage and the rest of the house. Duh.
Feb 8, 2009 at 5:39 pm rating: +13
#2
emily
well, judging from the restaurant check i would guess that this was at a restaurant. i am the general manager at a restaurant and often if something is spoiled you have to label it so no one will use it and you can send it back for credit/your money back. so i don’t really find this to be a big deal.
Feb 8, 2009 at 5:45 pm rating: +26
#3
Geek Goddesss
Has anybody considered the effect of this note on the salami’s self esteem? Do we even know where to begin to search for a therapist who will be able to help this salami now? People, consider your food’s feelings!
*Remembers that she hasn’t taken her meds yet today and goes off to do so*
Feb 8, 2009 at 5:55 pm rating: +22
#4
Shawn Bryan
Maybe it’s just being punished for a while.
Feb 8, 2009 at 5:56 pm rating: +8
#5
Sarah
Is any salami ever good to begin with? *resists urge to vomit*
Feb 8, 2009 at 6:00 pm rating: +4
#6
Ti O
We must do more to get good Salami off the streets and keep it from hanging around leather jacket wearing bad Salami, Olive Loaf and Bologna.
Feb 8, 2009 at 6:11 pm rating: +8
#7
jenocide
I wondered a similar thing once when my partner and I made dinner and then during the process of cleaning up, there was an interlude in which we went into the bedroom for sex. I guess our roommate came home while we were in there, and left an irritated note on top of the brick of cheese that said ‘please do not leave dairy products out on the counter’. If you’re going to leave a bitchy note, fine, but why not just put the cheese away in the process?
Feb 8, 2009 at 6:20 pm rating: +5
#8
mamason
I wonder what the salami did?
Feb 8, 2009 at 6:39 pm rating: +2
#9
mamason
When I worked at a deli, I didn’t mind slicing the meat. On the other hand, I found cutting the cheese rather grating. *rimshot*
Feb 8, 2009 at 6:46 pm rating: +13
#10
Emma
Somebody give it a spanking!
Feb 8, 2009 at 6:48 pm rating: +4
#11
secondsout
One could also punish the bad salami by playing “hide the salami.”
Something tells me there’s going to be a lot of “salami” innuendo all over this one.
Feb 8, 2009 at 7:07 pm rating: +6
#12
obligatory
That salami was fucking delicious.
Feb 8, 2009 at 7:17 pm rating: +1
#13
Sarah
I concur with comment #2.
Also, when I lived with roommates, I once made the mistake of cleaning out the fridge and disposing of moldy, rotting, and/or expired food. Passive aggressive notes about throwing out food that wasn’t mine decorated my bedroom door afterward. After that, I started leaving PA notes of my own on people’s green and blue-speckled shredded cheese, white, fuzzy strawberries, and unidentifiable blobs hidden inside of Styrofoam to-go boxes, to warn them to throw them away because I didn’t want to deprive them of the pleasure. Then I bought a mini fridge for my own food.
Feb 8, 2009 at 7:22 pm rating: +6
#14
TheOldSchool
Whenever food goes bad at grocery stores, managers are trained to transfer it to the “organic” section, and double the price.
Feb 8, 2009 at 8:17 pm rating: +20
#15
you suck at craigslist
Now I have Weird Al’s “My Bologna” in my head.
(Yes, I realize that it in itself is a parody. That makes this doubly referential.)
Feb 8, 2009 at 8:22 pm rating: +5
#16
C
No biggie. I used to leave these notes on guys’ pillowcases all the time.
Feb 8, 2009 at 9:49 pm rating: +17
#17
Canthz_B
Sure, it’s a bad salami today because it didn’t call you, but you swore up and down it was a good salami last night.
In fact, you said it was the best salami you’d ever had!!
I guess you say that to all the salamis.
Feb 8, 2009 at 10:02 pm rating: +11
#18
zenvelo
bad cop, no doughnut;
bad salami, no cheese!
Feb 8, 2009 at 10:35 pm rating: +2
#19
667970
…Salami come and get you right
Boy let me fill your appetite
Won’t you let me know what it is you like?
And I’ll do those yummy things to you
And I’ll let you call me delicious
Let me give it to you once you gonna want some more
Salami do those things for you…
Feb 8, 2009 at 10:40 pm rating: 0
#20
DisasterParty
Perhaps this salami is so ancient that it has gained a mind of it own and now bites everyone who tries to touch it… 0_O
Feb 8, 2009 at 10:46 pm rating: +1
#21
Clevegal42
I think it is merely labeled bad salami as a “don’t let this happen to you” warning to all the good salamis out there.
At least they weren’t playing hide the salami with it.
Feb 9, 2009 at 12:14 am rating: +2
#22
madeingermany
I had to think of this http://i41.tinypic.com/28qrk15.jpg
Feb 9, 2009 at 2:11 am rating: 0
#23
fantasy
That is definately restaurant Salami. Looks like a note from the Boss.
It means in restaurant speak, serve this first before you slice more.
” Because it ain’t green yet!”
Yep, all restaurant owners squeeze all they can out of the old salami.
Feb 9, 2009 at 2:13 am rating: +5
#24
claw71
Jules: Now Yolanda, we’re not gonna eat anything spoiled, are we?
Yolanda: You don’t eat him.
Jules: Nobody’s gonna eat anybody. We’re gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what’s Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda what’s Fonzie like?
Yolanda: Cool?
Jules: What?
Yolanda: He’s cool.
Jules: Correctamundo. And that’s what we’re gonna be. We’re gonna be cool. Now Ringo, I’m gonna count to three, and when I count three, you let go of your ham, and sit your ass down. But when you do it, you do it cool. Ready? One… two… three.
[Ringo sits down opposite Jules]
Yolanda: All right, now you let him go.
Jules: Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get hungry. And when motherfuckers get hungry, that’s when motherfuckers accidentally get salmonalla.
Yolanda: You just know, you eat him, you die.
Jules: Well, that seems to be the situation. But I don’t want that. And you don’t want that. And Ringo here *definitely* doesn’t want that.
Jules: I want you to go in that bag, and find my lunch meat.
Pumpkin: Which one is it?
Jules: It’s the one that says Bad Salami
Feb 9, 2009 at 8:38 am rating: +9
#25
Mishee
That’s the same thing I say to the Mister when we are getting frisky!
Feb 9, 2009 at 10:17 am rating: +1
#26
claw71
Good or bad, the best thing to do with salami is hide it.
Feb 9, 2009 at 10:53 am rating: +4
#27
GhostWriter
Confucius say: One man’s bad salami is another’s fine pepperoni.
Feb 9, 2009 at 11:25 am rating: +1
#28
aaa
When will people learn that taking the sensible, logical approach is just too far removed from human character to be expected? It’s our God-given duty as humans to make life as difficult and unnecessarily complicated for ourselves and those around us. I mean, you wouldn’t want to piss off God, would you? Of course you would, you sensible heathen…
Feb 9, 2009 at 12:01 pm rating: 0
#29
udanax
this sounds like a compounded problem. often if i notice something is bad in the fridge, but it’s like 2am or raining, i just leave it in there until it is a more favorable time to take out the garbage. granted, this is the lazy option, but it’s better than having the bad food smell up the place.
so the real question is, why did the person bother to write the note then put the salami back in the fridge rather than taking out the garbage?
unless of course, someone needed to inventory it. in which case, why wasn’t it marked on a loss sheet?
regardless, this is funny.
Feb 9, 2009 at 12:02 pm rating: 0
#30
Sweet Lao
We put things back in the fridge to give to the farm cats later. I wish she’d label them, I can’t smell when things have gone bad and don’t enjoy food poisoning.
Feb 9, 2009 at 12:20 pm rating: 0
#31
Monkey Speaks
What did the salami do that was so horrible to warrent not only a time out but a note on it’s back.
Poor salami. It’s all wilted and flacid…..
I hate when my salami goes flacid.
Feb 9, 2009 at 1:11 pm rating: +1
#32
Canthz_B
Maybe it’s slang. “Bad” means “really cool” and this salami is baaad!! If the salami had ears, it’d have the most awesome shades!:-)
Feb 9, 2009 at 11:06 pm rating: +1
#33
TP
I cannot help but wonder: What would Brian Boitano do with Bad Salami?
Feb 10, 2009 at 5:58 am rating: 0
#34
Tina
well fucking duh. if they threw it out, once it got hot it would start to stink (or maybe already did) so they simply put the note. and put it back, so they could throw it away when they were heading to the dumpster or something.
big deal dumb ass be lucky its labeled and you didn’t eat it.
Feb 10, 2009 at 2:32 pm rating: 0
#35
Aaron
I’m predicting scads of burgeoning punk bands popping up in suburbs across america calling themselves “Bad Salami.”
Feb 10, 2009 at 8:44 pm rating: +1
#36
Jaimie
This isn’t really passive aggressive though, is it?
This isn’t something they’d say in person to anyone in particular anyway, because they just want everyone who sees the salami to know that it’s bad.
Feb 11, 2009 at 5:56 pm rating: 0
#37
Laura
This is exactly like a mini-Sharpie marker commercial I saw, where a teenage boy takes a half-gallon milk jug from the fridge, opens it, smells it and makes a face. He then takes his Sharpie and writes “BAD” on the milk, and puts it back in the fridge. Only, that was fictional.
Mar 6, 2009 at 9:06 pm rating: 0
#38
beau
I have never understood the “only the manager can throw away spoiled food” philosophy that seems to prevail in certain restaurants. Any food service employee who suspects something is even the slightest bit rancid has a moral obligation to throw it away immediately. How can this be a point of dispute? Why don’t health regulations require this?
I guess this is just yet another example of capitalism run amok (and of why, contrary to the predictions of my grandfather, I am getting more liberal with age.)
Mar 8, 2009 at 6:41 pm rating: 0
#39
Scott Mercer
Uh, actually kind of vague.
Is this salami in fact SPOILED, or just of subpar quality?
Apr 3, 2009 at 12:13 pm rating: 0
Leave a Comment