cate and her brother play trivia at a bar in seattle once or twice a month, and cate’s brother usually invites shelby, a friend from college. last week, he “forgot” to invite her, but — AWKWARD! — she was at the bar that night anyway.
“shelby wrote this little gem on a napkin and had someone deliver it to our table,” cate says. “i’m leaving it up to my brother to decide if this earns her an invite to our next game.”
related: desperately seeking closure
46 responses so far ↓
#1
Cinta
Um no, she’s a psycho don’t invite her again.
Feb 11, 2009 at 3:27 pm rating: +22
#2
Mishee
I guess how you decide if you want to invite her again totally depends on how Shelby rates on Barney Stinson’s Crazy vs. Hot Scale.
Feb 11, 2009 at 3:30 pm rating: +50
#3
msb
Shelby – FYI Notes like this only work if they’re tear stained and wet. It really drives the psycho mantra home.
Feb 11, 2009 at 3:31 pm rating: +3
#4
Vic Torey-Paughn
If she followed them to the bar, does that make it trivial pursuit?
I’ll get my coat….
Feb 11, 2009 at 3:33 pm rating: +89
#5
amy d
Ha! Sam only rated half a napkin. Now that’s a subliminal P/A message at its finest.
Feb 11, 2009 at 3:34 pm rating: +6
#6
Jordan Z
Drink the [spiked] juice, Shelby!
Feb 11, 2009 at 3:35 pm rating: 0
#7
Samblam
Shelby,
Why are you here? I didn’t invite you, bitch.
- Sam
Feb 11, 2009 at 3:54 pm rating: +53
#8
Lovey
Shelby,
I wrote you a beautiful note on a napkin asking you to grace us with your presense here tonight…but then I had to sneeze. It appears that you knew that I wanted you to be here, though, because, well, here you are! You understand, I’m sure.
-Jerk
Feb 11, 2009 at 3:56 pm rating: +6
#9
aaa
Sending a note over is only halfway to psycho. Shelby was already at the bar, why didn’t she just invite herself on over and force Sam to trivia with her? Then you slip the napkin-note in his pocket for him to find later. A few threatening phone calls and some rocks through his window wouldn’t hurt.
Feb 11, 2009 at 4:07 pm rating: +20
#10
Ti O
Sam-
You can never leave me…
Because I’ll find you!!! o_O
Shelby
Feb 11, 2009 at 4:11 pm rating: +8
#11
leftfoot
It’s time for Sam to change his phone number.
Feb 11, 2009 at 4:15 pm rating: +4
#12
Liz
I would’ve sent a note back…
Shelby-
I know you are here & didn’t invite me.
Jerk.
-Sam
Feb 11, 2009 at 4:17 pm rating: +42
#13
You Suck at Craigslist
Shelby-
I’m glad you know that. Unfortunately, since you DON’T know half of the answers to the trivia questions, we don’t want you on our team anymore.
-Sam
Feb 11, 2009 at 4:39 pm rating: +17
#14
Courto
The other half of the napkin must be what she sent to herself, seeing as she also went without inviting Sam.
Jerk.
Feb 11, 2009 at 4:48 pm rating: +2
#15
ca
what makes me laugh is she had the audacity to send that napkin over – after she went there without HIM!
Feb 11, 2009 at 5:03 pm rating: +14
#16
Bunnee
I hope he kicked her ass at Trivia!
Feb 11, 2009 at 5:37 pm rating: +1
#17
Andy
Cate is leaving it up to her brother to decide if this “earns” Shelby an invite to next week’s trivia because she knew Sam was there and didn’t invite her?
Are all the questions at this bar so personal that knowing Sam’s whereabouts would be useful trivia knowledge to earn her a spot on next week’s team??
“Ok, question number 4 is for 10 points: What did Sam have for dinner last night? And for 5 bonus points: What did he have for dessert?”
Feb 11, 2009 at 5:40 pm rating: +6
#18
Lovey
Wait…who goes to bars with their brothers?! Well, I mean, I do, certainly, but I’m from Alabama, its totally natural. But Seattle?
Feb 11, 2009 at 5:42 pm rating: +4
#19
Mishee
Anyone else here thinking of Stacey from Wayne’s World?
“I don’t even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack! What am I gonna do… with a gun rack?”
Feb 11, 2009 at 5:46 pm rating: +6
#20
claw71
Well played Sam!
This is truly masterful. Sam’s been playing the role of “friend” for a while and he’s gotten a pretty good read on Shelby. He knows her. He’s seen the other losers she’s gone out with and now he’s ready to move in for some action.
Sam probably figured that he was six weeks away from closing the deal and getting a ride on the Shelby express but now that she tipped her hand and revealed herself to be a bit of a stalker, Sam realizes that she is open for business. Shelby is so eager to win back his affections, she’ll do anything. Unreciprocated head? Check. Condom optional? Check. Anal exploration? We’re a go, Houston. Dirty Sanchez? Rusty Trombone? Cleveland Steamer? Check, Check and Check. This girl is so primed Sam could probably call her Thelma and she’ll still let him shoot his load on her face. Sweet!
I bet Sam tapped that ass that very night. Maybe he didn’t tell his sister about it because sisters rarely want to hear about their brothers getting their swerve on, but Sam’s hitting those skins. You know that he is.
Play on, playa!
Feb 11, 2009 at 5:55 pm rating: +7
#21
claw71
Getting a psychotic note from a jilted friend on a tattered bar napkin is a little unsettling but Sam (and the rest of the people at the bar) are lucky that he wasn’t chummy with Donita Sparks. I’m sure she would have used a napkin, but I doubt she would have taken it from the bar.
Feb 11, 2009 at 6:05 pm rating: +3
#22
JoelWhy
In the psycho-stalker’s defense, there’s nothing passive aggressive about the note. Short, sweet, and to the point; she deserves some kind of credit, right?
Feb 11, 2009 at 6:47 pm rating: +3
#23
Jules
Yikes! Too stalker-ish!!
Feb 11, 2009 at 6:48 pm rating: 0
#24
Cady
This one’s actually kind of sad, because if she’d just gone over and been like, “Oh, gosh! How great to run into you guys!” They probably would’ve asked her to join them or invited her next time. But now she’s a psycho.
Feb 11, 2009 at 6:55 pm rating: +14
#25
Canthz_B
Shelby,
Take a hint.
Loser.
Sam
Feb 11, 2009 at 7:52 pm rating: +7
#26
TheOldSchool
Shelby wasn’t at the bar that night. The napkin note was written by Cate, who is in love with her brother, Sam.
Cate was jealous, not just of Shelby’s trivia skills, but also her ability, in all likelihood, to conceive a non-deformed baby with Sam.
Cate is probably already carrying Sam’s space monkey, but she’s going to wait until he’s pig-eyed before she tells him.
Feb 11, 2009 at 8:15 pm rating: +3
#27
Julie
Junior high students suck at trivia, anyway.
Feb 11, 2009 at 9:14 pm rating: +5
#28
Jinx
LOL, I’d be like “I see you’re a big girl and got here on your own. Would you care to lower yourself to join us jerks?”
Feb 12, 2009 at 12:14 am rating: +3
#29
Significant
Not good for her giving in to childish ways. However, I feel kind of bad for her.
Feb 12, 2009 at 3:19 pm rating: +1
#30
octavius
Which bar is it? I have awesome trivia skills, except on the pink wedge subjects, and make a habit of going out with psychos.
Feb 14, 2009 at 12:11 am rating: 0
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