A trivial mistake

February 11th, 2009 · 46 comments

Cate and her brother play trivia at a bar in Seattle once or twice a month, and Cate’s brother usually invites Shelby, a friend from college. Last week, he “forgot” to invite her, but — AWKWARD! — she was at the bar that night anyway.

“Shelby wrote this little gem on a napkin and had someone deliver it to our table,” Cate says. “I’m leaving it up to my brother to decide if this earns her an invite to our next game.”

Sam - I know you are here & didn't invite me. Jerk. -Shelby

related: desperately seeking closure

FILED UNDER: "forgot" · frenemies · Oops? · Seattle


46 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Cinta

    Um no, she’s a psycho don’t invite her again.

    Feb 11, 2009 at 3:27 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   claw71 bang

      Um, you’re a little boring….would you consider not posting first again?

      Feb 11, 2009 at 6:07 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Flaboy2425

      Now that she knows how to get there by herself, why should anyone invite her? Cate’s brother no longer needs a chaperone.

      Feb 11, 2009 at 11:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Mishee bang

    I guess how you decide if you want to invite her again totally depends on how Shelby rates on Barney Stinson’s Crazy vs. Hot Scale.

    Feb 11, 2009 at 3:30 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Monkeyspeaks

      Yes – Demetri Martin points out a similar scale:

      How Hot A Girl Is Versus How Much I Want To Hear About How Intuitive Her Cat Is
      http://www.swivel.com/graphs/show/7217229

      Feb 11, 2009 at 6:59 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   msb

    Shelby – FYI Notes like this only work if they’re tear stained and wet. It really drives the psycho mantra home.

    Feb 11, 2009 at 3:31 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Mark bang

      Shelby obviously used the ripped-off part of the napkin to soak her tears. That part will be delivered, along with a severed puppy head, to Sam’s front door at 3 in the morning. THAT would drive the psycho mantra home.

      Feb 11, 2009 at 3:35 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   mamason bang

      I’ve always found that an ice-pick to the temple drives the psycho mantra home.

      Feb 11, 2009 at 4:22 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   graphicandnovel

      I think whoever gets it drunk should drive the psycho mantra home.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Vic Torey-Paughn

    If she followed them to the bar, does that make it trivial pursuit?

    I’ll get my coat….

    Feb 11, 2009 at 3:33 pm   rating: 94  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Sirius bang

      Bravo! (Nice website too) (but maybe NSFW)

      Feb 11, 2009 at 3:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   amy d bang

    Ha! Sam only rated half a napkin. Now that’s a subliminal P/A message at its finest.

    Feb 11, 2009 at 3:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Mishee bang

      No amy, Shelby is a crazy bitch, and only had one napkin.

      The other half went across the room to her ex-boyfriend that she spied through the crowd.

      It said, “I know where she lives.”

      Feb 11, 2009 at 3:37 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Lorelie

      I thought the other half was used for sopping up her ex-boyfriend’s blood.

      Feb 11, 2009 at 4:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Jordan Z

    Drink the [spiked] juice, Shelby!

    Feb 11, 2009 at 3:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Samblam

    Shelby,

    Why are you here? I didn’t invite you, bitch.

    - Sam

    Feb 11, 2009 at 3:54 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Lovey

    Shelby,
    I wrote you a beautiful note on a napkin asking you to grace us with your presense here tonight…but then I had to sneeze. It appears that you knew that I wanted you to be here, though, because, well, here you are! You understand, I’m sure.

    -Jerk

    Feb 11, 2009 at 3:56 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   aaa

    Sending a note over is only halfway to psycho. Shelby was already at the bar, why didn’t she just invite herself on over and force Sam to trivia with her? Then you slip the napkin-note in his pocket for him to find later. A few threatening phone calls and some rocks through his window wouldn’t hurt.

    Feb 11, 2009 at 4:07 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   AuntyBron

      Since Shelby was going to be at the bar, why didn’t she invite Cate and Sam? Stuck up bitch.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 12:45 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Ti O bang

    Sam-

    You can never leave me…
    Because I’ll find you!!! o_O

    Shelby

    Feb 11, 2009 at 4:11 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   agatha christie

      I can only say that line in that creepy voice Isla Fisher does for Wedding Crashers… it does a good job of creeping out the fiance.

      Feb 11, 2009 at 11:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   leftfoot

    It’s time for Sam to change his phone number.

    Feb 11, 2009 at 4:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Liz

    I would’ve sent a note back…

    Shelby-

    I know you are here & didn’t invite me.

    Jerk.

    -Sam

    Feb 11, 2009 at 4:17 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Lorelie

      PS. As a result, I will never invite you again!

      Feb 11, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Olson

      This was my thought exactly!
      If she was going and wanted to be with Sam…why not invite him??
      BTW, I think running over your boyfriend with his own truck drives the crazy mantra home.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 7:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   You Suck at Craigslist

    Shelby-

    I’m glad you know that. Unfortunately, since you DON’T know half of the answers to the trivia questions, we don’t want you on our team anymore.

    -Sam

    Feb 11, 2009 at 4:39 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Courto

    The other half of the napkin must be what she sent to herself, seeing as she also went without inviting Sam.

    Jerk.

    Feb 11, 2009 at 4:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   ca

    what makes me laugh is she had the audacity to send that napkin over – after she went there without HIM!

    Feb 11, 2009 at 5:03 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Bunnee

    I hope he kicked her ass at Trivia!

    Feb 11, 2009 at 5:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Andy

    Cate is leaving it up to her brother to decide if this “earns” Shelby an invite to next week’s trivia because she knew Sam was there and didn’t invite her?

    Are all the questions at this bar so personal that knowing Sam’s whereabouts would be useful trivia knowledge to earn her a spot on next week’s team??

    “Ok, question number 4 is for 10 points: What did Sam have for dinner last night? And for 5 bonus points: What did he have for dessert?”

    Feb 11, 2009 at 5:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Lovey

    Wait…who goes to bars with their brothers?! Well, I mean, I do, certainly, but I’m from Alabama, its totally natural. But Seattle?

    Feb 11, 2009 at 5:42 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   claw71 bang

      I go to bars with my sister because she usually invites her friends. Not only are her friends hot, but they will put out when you get a couple of drinks in them.

      Granted my sister’s only 12 and it’s hard to get her and her friends into the club, but when I can sneak those little sluts in, I always get laid.

      Feb 11, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Mishee bang

    Anyone else here thinking of Stacey from Wayne’s World?

    “I don’t even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack! What am I gonna do… with a gun rack?”

    Feb 11, 2009 at 5:46 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   claw71 bang

    Well played Sam!

    This is truly masterful. Sam’s been playing the role of “friend” for a while and he’s gotten a pretty good read on Shelby. He knows her. He’s seen the other losers she’s gone out with and now he’s ready to move in for some action.

    Sam probably figured that he was six weeks away from closing the deal and getting a ride on the Shelby express but now that she tipped her hand and revealed herself to be a bit of a stalker, Sam realizes that she is open for business. Shelby is so eager to win back his affections, she’ll do anything. Unreciprocated head? Check. Condom optional? Check. Anal exploration? We’re a go, Houston. Dirty Sanchez? Rusty Trombone? Cleveland Steamer? Check, Check and Check. This girl is so primed Sam could probably call her Thelma and she’ll still let him shoot his load on her face. Sweet!

    I bet Sam tapped that ass that very night. Maybe he didn’t tell his sister about it because sisters rarely want to hear about their brothers getting their swerve on, but Sam’s hitting those skins. You know that he is.

    Play on, playa!

    Feb 11, 2009 at 5:55 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   claw71 bang

    Getting a psychotic note from a jilted friend on a tattered bar napkin is a little unsettling but Sam (and the rest of the people at the bar) are lucky that he wasn’t chummy with Donita Sparks. I’m sure she would have used a napkin, but I doubt she would have taken it from the bar.

    Feb 11, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Anne A. Tomic

      People who don’t get this one are missing out on one the 100 Grossest Transgressions Rock N Roll.

      Or whatever VH1 named that count-down.

      Obscure Reference FTW!

      Feb 12, 2009 at 2:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   JoelWhy

    In the psycho-stalker’s defense, there’s nothing passive aggressive about the note. Short, sweet, and to the point; she deserves some kind of credit, right?

    Feb 11, 2009 at 6:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Jules

    Yikes! Too stalker-ish!!

    Feb 11, 2009 at 6:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Cady

    This one’s actually kind of sad, because if she’d just gone over and been like, “Oh, gosh! How great to run into you guys!” They probably would’ve asked her to join them or invited her next time. But now she’s a psycho.

    Feb 11, 2009 at 6:55 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Canthz_B bang

    Shelby,

    Take a hint.

    Loser.

    Sam

    Feb 11, 2009 at 7:52 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   TheOldSchool

    Shelby wasn’t at the bar that night. The napkin note was written by Cate, who is in love with her brother, Sam.

    Cate was jealous, not just of Shelby’s trivia skills, but also her ability, in all likelihood, to conceive a non-deformed baby with Sam.

    Cate is probably already carrying Sam’s space monkey, but she’s going to wait until he’s pig-eyed before she tells him.

    Feb 11, 2009 at 8:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Julie

    Junior high students suck at trivia, anyway.

    Feb 11, 2009 at 9:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Jinx

    LOL, I’d be like “I see you’re a big girl and got here on your own. Would you care to lower yourself to join us jerks?”

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:14 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Significant

    Not good for her giving in to childish ways. However, I feel kind of bad for her.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 3:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   octavius

    Which bar is it? I have awesome trivia skills, except on the pink wedge subjects, and make a habit of going out with psychos.

    Feb 14, 2009 at 12:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Mark bang

      I am also curious, and I live near Seattle. I know Redhook has a trivia night on Tuesdays, but I would imagine lots of other bars do too.

      Feb 14, 2009 at 12:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     

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