A little advice for the ladies

February 12th, 2009 · 101 comments

…courtesy of the hapless young lads of North America.

As documented by Kimberlee in Lawrence, Kansas:

a little advice for the ladies

And by Grant in Toronto, Canada:

yeah, women! seriously!

Happy breakup season, everyone!

related: Some dating advice

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · attire · battle of the sexes · Canada · Kansas · kinda creepy · Toronto


101 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Jinx

    And just who ARE we supposed to abuse, reject and ignore? The old men who pay our rent? NOT!

    And trust me, you do NOT want to see this fat sack in tight sweats!

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:18 am   rating: 51  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Canthz_B bang

      Yes…I do! :-P

      BBW’s rule! :-D

      Feb 12, 2009 at 12:28 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Flaboy2425

      I don’t want to see you in a mini skirt with no panties either.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 9:06 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   anglophile bang

      Women

      DON’T Stop ignoring, rejecting and abusing young men like Click Click Boom

      Feb 15, 2009 at 1:59 am   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   HairySwede

      wearing tight sweats does not make you skinny. it just leads to a serious case of camel toe.

      Feb 21, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   r.m.

    How am I to ignore and abuse you at the same time?

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:25 am   rating: 58  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   unfortunate names

      if you don’t know, don’t try it

      Feb 13, 2009 at 2:34 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   unfortunate names

      if you don’t know, don’t try it

      Feb 13, 2009 at 2:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Canthz_B bang

      In divorce court, withholding of affection is considered a form of spousal abuse (sort of).

      OK, I must be ready for bed…I’m getting too serious!

      G’nite

      Feb 13, 2009 at 2:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Enp

    Wear miniskirts without panties, please
    So I may lurk beneath you on the stairwell.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:26 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   mamason bang

      Upskirters unite!

      Feb 12, 2009 at 5:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Icanseethroughyou

      Down with pants, up with skirts!

      Feb 13, 2009 at 4:59 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    Guys,

    Stop writing skeevy notes on our clean, white, cinder block walls.
    You’re creeping us the Hell out, you perverts!

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:30 am   rating: 60  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   matt bang

      If visual memory is anything to go by, that boxy looking thing on the left hand side of the top picture is a toilet roll dispenser, which means either the note was written by a lezzi chick or some guy with very good makeup skills to get past all the chicks at the makeup mirrors.

      In fact chances are he’s probably still watching you delicately wiping your ass right now “0-0″

      Feb 12, 2009 at 4:36 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   lightspeed

    Both clearly written by men who wouldn’t know what to look for underneath those miniskirts or what to do if not rejected.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:32 am   rating: 99  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Canaduck

      Oh man, lightspeed, SO TRUE.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 11:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   alpha

      get over your genitals. they really aren’t that hard to figre out. I’ve known plenty of women who can not for the life of them figure out how to please a dick short of shutting the fuck up, lying back, and letting me do my thing.

      Feb 15, 2009 at 11:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Sirius bang

      If we consider all the relationships with those”plenty of women” you’ve known that couldn’t please you, the common element in all of them seems to be the dick in question.

      Feb 15, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 79  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   se

      You have forgotten to mention the other probable common element. Most of us call that cash.

      Feb 15, 2009 at 4:44 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    Someone clearly does not hold the “leave something to the imagination” belief, but I suspect he’s a tire-kicker.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:36 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   lightspeed

    Men – stop wearing skinny jeans, long hair and guyliner so you won’t look like a woman.

    It slows us down from ignoring, rejecting and abusing you.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:36 am   rating: 89  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   chrisswiss83 bang

      So that’s why my longer hair style is helping me out so much.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 8:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    If your best pick-up line is “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” or you have a face that could be a case-study in acne vulgaris, you deserve to be ignored, rejected and/or abused by young women.
    Reminding you why you’re a virgin is their primary function in this world.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:42 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Cookieput

    Yes, I second the call for a return to classic femininity. Tight sweat pants! Vag-flashes! You know, like Grace Kelly.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:45 am   rating: 71  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe if gas wasn’t so expensive women could afford to dress like Grace Kelly.
      Or, if they didn’t have jobs to get to and housework to do, dinner to cook and kids to bathe awaiting their returns home.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 12:55 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Lorelie

      Canthz, will you support me in a manner to which I can become accustomed, so I can dress like Grace Kelly every day? Purty please?

      Feb 12, 2009 at 8:24 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Emma

      Oh man, I wish we could go back to the days of tight sweatpants before these damned feminists came around and started wearing loose sweatpants.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 2:30 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    I’ll bet our friend in Toronto would have goo-gobs of dates if he’d left out “abusing” and left his phone number or e-mail addy!

    Feb 12, 2009 at 12:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   C

    I have never seen anyone in “tight sweats” who looked slim. If one can fill out the baggy stylings of a sweatpant, one is not a hottie with a body.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 8:00 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Lorelie

      The idiot probably means yoga pants.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 8:23 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Lorelie

    Hallelujah! I am converted. I will immediately run out and buy an arm load of school-girl mini-skirts — to make it all the more painful when I ignore and reject you.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 8:22 am   rating: 43  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Lorelie

    Sometimes young men like it when you abuse them.

    “More please, Mistress.”

    Feb 12, 2009 at 8:27 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Ti O bang

    Young Men-
    Please quit whining about how girls don’t like “nice guys” and be a confident man. Also try wearing something that doesn’t reek like wet goat and attempt some personal hygiene like bathing. when you come out of the basement return your mom’s make up and get a job.

    The Ladies of KSU

    Feb 12, 2009 at 8:36 am   rating: 60  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   kansan

      err, KU

      Feb 12, 2009 at 5:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Ti O bang

      Sorry. I did realize my mistake too late to edit. :oops:

      Feb 12, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   RockChalk

      I wonder what bar bathroom this is in? Um…assuming it’s a bar. My guess is the Ranch.

      Feb 14, 2009 at 12:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Mishee bang

    That first note is actually posted in Britney’s dressing room.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   se

      Britney, now there’s a poster child for wearing underpanties.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 6:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   you suck at craigslist

    I only ignore, reject, and abuse people who ignore, reject, and abuse the Oxford comma.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 10:42 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Vic Torey-Paughn (nsfw)

    Men! Learn to communicate face to face, rather than via anonymous notes, and we might stop abusing and rejecting you. We might even, if you’re really lucky, wear a mini skirt and no panties for you. No promises, mind you.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 2:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   claw71 bang

      I prefer to communicate face to vag and nobody’s complained yet.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 3:21 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   claw71 bang

    Great! This site has an international audience which means people around the world are going to have the opportunity to contrast and compare the behavior of sexually frustrated males in the US and Canada.

    Thanks to the burgeoning serial killer from Kansas, America just more class points in the eyes of the rest of the word. And after 8 years of DUHbya we didn’t have that many to burn.

    Our friend to the north opted to skip committing the criminal act of vandalism in favor of posting his message on a plain white sheet of paper, neatly typed rather than angrily scrawled. More over, the Canadian lad offered up a sincere and thoughtful plea where as the moron from Lawrence was decidedly crude and more than a little creepy in communicating his demand.

    After Obama was elected I felt pride that my country had finally turned a corner that the world had long given up hope that we’d reach. Today I’m sad to say that I’m once again hanging my head in shame and looking for my “Don’t behead me, I’m Canadian” T-shit.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 3:16 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Bison

    I hope that somebody is mounting a similar public information campaign to address a problem that I was recently apprised of in a men’s room stall at Barnes & Noble:

    “American women are greed whores.” [sic]

    Feb 12, 2009 at 3:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Audrey

      Oh, yes. I will happily prostitute myself for greed. Sweet sweet greed. I am an American greed whore.
      Love,
      Audrey

      Feb 13, 2009 at 1:23 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Male Chauvinist Pig

    At last my efforts to educate the ladies are being recognized.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   mamason bang

    Men,
    Stop having small penii that can’t last more than 2 minutes and stop insinuating that women are whores because we expect you to have a J-O-B! And if you never sniffed your fingers again after scratching your balls, that would be lovely.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 4:20 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Mishee bang

      mamason, besides the obvious reasons, you make me want to turn into a lesbian right this second!

      Feb 12, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   mamason bang

      I’m licking you ! :-P

      Feb 12, 2009 at 4:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   chrisswiss83 bang

      And they left the toilet seat up!

      Feb 12, 2009 at 8:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   Kevin

      Actually, I think the plural of “penis” is “penes.” I reserve the right to be wrong, though.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 11:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   Canthz_B bang

      It’s a PAN thing, “penii” is, Kevin…don’t stress over it. ;-)

      Feb 13, 2009 at 1:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   Saysh bang

      I dunno CB.. let me check yours and I’ll see if it is a PAN thing or not *wiggling eyebrows*

      :twisted:

      Feb 13, 2009 at 1:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.7   Canthz_B bang

      You want to see BOTH of my penii, Saysh?! 8-O

      Feb 13, 2009 at 1:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.8   Canthz_B bang

      *wiggling penii eyebrows* :-P

      Feb 13, 2009 at 1:53 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.9   Saysh bang

      *laughing hysterically*

      ok, wait..

      *laughs some more*

      never mind…

      Feb 13, 2009 at 1:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.10   Kevin

      It’s all good, I hadn’t heard “penii” before. But I have been reading PAN for a little while now and I thought “eenie penes” might be more appropriate for this crowd. ;-)

      Feb 13, 2009 at 2:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.11   Canthz_B bang

      You thought wrong…around here we have albino pythons and black mambas. ;-)

      I’m surprised you couldn’t tell…Kevin is such a gay name, I thought you would have a better understanding of the penii in the room! :evil:

      Feb 13, 2009 at 2:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.12   Kevin

      It’s so hard to write anything coherent with my hands shaking so hard from laughter. LOL

      (And, Kevin may be a gay name, but my normal screen name of anchises868 is far more gladiatorish supergay!)

      Feb 13, 2009 at 7:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Hod

    There’s a long literary tradition of giving sound advice to ladies.

    “Girls — Rub on yo’ titties.
    Yeah, I said it: rub on yo’ titties!”
    -Pharoahe Monch, Simon Says

    Feb 12, 2009 at 4:44 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   chrisswiss83 bang

      …Some people claim the lyrics are sexistist
      Cuz I ask the women to rub on they breasteses

      Feb 12, 2009 at 8:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   lola

      “Yes, sometimes my lyrics are sexist…
      But you lovely bitches and hoes should know I’m trying to correct this”

      Feb 13, 2009 at 12:50 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Julie

    You can tell these guys are really young since they are still laboring under the delusion that women exist for their pleasure and are offended when they don’t live up to that expectation. I bet neither of them have even felt a boob before.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 4:59 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Assman

      Speaking of young and dumb, how about the naive commenter who is under the delusion that real, live, heterosexual men ever outgrow the belief that women exist for our pleasure?

      Now shut up and put ‘em on the glass, Jules!

      Feb 12, 2009 at 5:12 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   MW

      Seriously. Men don’t grow out of that…

      Feb 12, 2009 at 5:15 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Julie

      I would never expect a dude to grow out of wanting to see titties and ass all of the time. Older dudes are usually smooth enough to hide it, though.

      Feb 13, 2009 at 10:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Danyell

      I love you.

      Feb 17, 2009 at 8:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   fluffy8u bang

    So that’s why I can’t get a man… And here I thought that my wonderful personality and millions of dollars were a turnoff! Silly me.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Canthz_B bang

      No one wants to fuck your personality…or your money.
      Best to come correct and learn the art of fellatio! :-P

      Feb 13, 2009 at 2:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Saysh bang

      I’m offering classes.

      CB, care to assist??

      Feb 13, 2009 at 2:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   Canthz_B bang

      Sure. I’m up for that! ;-)

      Feb 13, 2009 at 2:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   L. G.

    That’s funny, a lot of the men I know have grown out of that. They even view women as equal, thinking human beings.

    I think some of the comments+ those two notes may just be written by brainless degenerates :)
    Just sayin’!

    Feb 12, 2009 at 6:09 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Canthz_B bang

      You know some sweet “men”.

      Feb 12, 2009 at 8:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   liloleme

      I so wish I knew some of those men….

      Feb 13, 2009 at 3:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   JoelWhy

    “Wear tight sweats so you won’t look fat”

    Unless you are fat, in which case, please wear manly jeans.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   XauriEL

    Douchebags:

    Stop telling ‘women’ to do things that make me not like them and make them not like themselves.
    Stop telling ‘women’ to do things you’re not willing to stop doing yourselves.
    Stop being douchebags.
    Seriously. Just stop.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 7:06 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Audrey

      Are you taking signs posted on utility poles and bathroom walls too seriously? And how do you know the note writers are unwilling to wear mini skirts and tight sweats themselves? Or that they don’t want to stop themselves from ignoring rejecting and abusing young men? Both note writers may be dbags, but there’s no evidence of hypocrisy.

      Feb 13, 2009 at 3:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   liloleme

      seconded

      I’m sick of “men” who are so worried about women being “fat” or talking about them being “ugly” that those of us who actually hear them say these things get completely self-conscious and hate ourselves for being ourselves.

      Just stop. You’re only hurting your own chances to be with really great, beautiful women who feel ugly and disgusting because of your sh!tty comments.

      Feb 13, 2009 at 3:47 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Magick

    I’ve never really gotten the stairwell-lurker thing.
    I mean, who really wants to see a vagina?

    Feb 12, 2009 at 9:22 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   makelikeacouplet bang

      I agree. Granted, I have a vagina, but I still fail to see the excitement. Now boobs, on the other hand, those are a different story!

      Feb 12, 2009 at 11:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   secondsout bang

      Who wants to see a vagina? ME!

      Dude, there’s a billion dollar industry devoted to men and their desire to look at vaginas.

      Feb 13, 2009 at 3:45 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Erika

      Only a billion?

      Feb 18, 2009 at 12:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   makelikeacouplet bang

    This whole mini skirt/no panties concept bothers me. I mean, what if I’m on my period?

    Then again, I guess that’s what the tight sweats option is there for …

    Feb 12, 2009 at 11:48 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   mamason bang

      The idea of not wearing panties while wearing a mini-skirt is objectionable for 2 reasons.

      1. I’m kind of juicy. If I were to sit on your couch without panties, I’d probably leave some DNA.

      2. I don’t want my groinicological area splat down on random surfaces. The cooties would be ass-tronomical. Let’s keep it clean, people.

      Feb 13, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   TheOldSchool bang

    The first note appears to be a well-intentioned effort at offering today’s young women some frank, yet practical, dating ‘n’ mating advice.

    The second one is both harrowing and haunting.

    It is eerily reminiscent of an answer Bush would give to a reporter’s question.

    Feb 12, 2009 at 11:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Canthz_B bang

      “Stop ignoring, rejecting and abusing young men so they can practice their love all over this country.”? 8-O

      Yeah, that sounds Bush-ish enough to me!

      Feb 13, 2009 at 1:18 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Julie

      I am beginning to think we are misunderstanding the second note.

      It has something of the conceptual art installation about it.

      Feb 13, 2009 at 10:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   steph

      misunderestimating*

      Feb 13, 2009 at 1:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Napalm Nacey

    Dear Guys,

    CRY MOAR!!

    Feb 13, 2009 at 4:06 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Sekhmet

    Dude. Speaking as somebody who’s been both rejected and ignored, and who’s been abused (as in could’ve pressed charges) all I can say is get some perspective, dude. Seriously. Nobody is violating your human rights by not dating you! (In fact, dating this guy would probably seriously undermine anybody’s right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness….)

    Feb 13, 2009 at 2:12 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Cee

    I wonder if that Grant in Toronto is the same one who dumped me via a one-line email. True story.

    Feb 14, 2009 at 6:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   calyx

    Poor victim patriarchy! Delusional entitlement complex for the lose!

    Feb 17, 2009 at 8:13 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Danyell

    Oh yes, we must stop teh mens from being abused!1! Clearly, men are constantly victimized by women! Surely being sexually rejected is the WORST thing someone could ever go through. Haven’t these boys suffered enough??

    Feb 17, 2009 at 8:17 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   masculine beast warrior

    women: This is a stupid note. What men really want is you to show that you care about how you look. wearing makup, staying clean, getting your hair done nice and yes, eating right/exercising are all good ways to show men that you care about your appearence. Women who have just stopped caring will very much frustrate the men they are involved with. It makes us feel like you take our feelings for you for granted and don’t have to do anything to keep us.

    Men: appearences fade fast. really fast. how many very attractive 30 year olds are there? not many. how many very attractive 20 year olds? a whole bunch. yes, attraction is important for sure (especially in the early stages) but personality is much more so.

    Feb 19, 2009 at 10:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   daytrippin

      This comment is completely hypocritical.

      Appearances fade, but make sure you look great for me all of the time. Right.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 7:07 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   Matdredalia bang

      You are kidding, right?

      I spend 95% of my time in baggy jogging pants, tanktops, and a headband. For the last five years, I’ve hardly done anything in the way of “making myself look pretty” other than dying my hair.

      My husband could give a damn less, because, oh, here’s a concept: He thinks I’m beautiful for what is inside, and likes my packaging just as it is, as well. Before we even started dating, he told me how it makes him sad how many women think they have to spend so much time in front of a mirror to be loved, when really they just need to be themselves. Gee, what a concept?

      And newsflash: If “doing something to keep you” means spending three hours to make myself look the way you want me to look, then you don’t need a girlfriend that will stay pretty for you. You need therapy.

      Parading around looking like a Barbie doll to fulfill your lovers twisted illusions about what a woman should look like is not “making an effort” or “doing something” for your signifigant other.

      Doing something for them is taking care of them when they’re sick, reading them their favorite poem when they’re feeling sad, helping them with a project they’re working on. It’s being there to support them, through good or bad.

      You have a very fucked up perception of what relationships and love are all about, and frankly, I pity you.

      Mar 15, 2009 at 6:48 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Jasper von blowhole

    Well… that should fix all the relationships in Toronto!

    Feb 28, 2009 at 2:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Matdredalia bang

    Oh yes, because my DISABLED fat ass, really wants to run around wearing an uncomfortable ass mini-skirt while praying to GOD I don’t fall over so someone gets an eyeful of my PANTIELESS crotch?

    Seriously, this is why feminism lives on. Because there are still douchebag males like this that think they have the right to tell the female contingency how the hell to live our lives. Assholes.

    Mar 15, 2009 at 6:35 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
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