Professionally Done By Asians | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

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No, it’s not passive-aggressive

February 18th, 2009 · 114 comments

…but this nail salon’s signage — photographed by Faye in Miami — is just too incredible not to share.

related: Why I hate Miami, exhibit a

extra credit: Why are so many nail salons owned by Asians, anyway? [businessweek.com]

FILED UNDER: Florida · Miami · oh no you didn't · tangent time

114 responses so far ↓

#1 Vic Torey-Paughn (nsfw)

My favourite signage anywhere is for some builders in London:
“Patel and sons,
you’ve tried the cowboys, now try the Indians”.

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:05 pm rating: 48

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#2 liz

Because you know fake nails applied by non-Asians are just no good…

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:07 pm rating: 9

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#3 Mishee

If I walk into a nail place and Asians aren’t sitting around chattering while doing manis and pedis… well, I just turn right around and walk out.

I mean, who wants your nails done by someone you can converse with??

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:09 pm rating: 32

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- #3.1 Holiday Djinn
  
  I have always been taught, that it is improper to speak with the help.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 1:30 pm rating: 17
- #3.2 D / DM
  
  I’d agree. I’ve never had my nails did, but I made the mistake of telling a masseuse that I’d just finished the bar exam…
  
  …at which point she proceeded to ask me for legal advice. While crying. Until time was up, at which point she happily announced, “Okay, we’re done!”
  
  I still can’t believe I paid for that massage AND tipped her.
  
  Feb 20, 2009 at 4:44 pm rating: 4
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#4 MAMARILLA2

And with this sign they have invited every over processed, boufont styled, overweight, polyester wearing, thinks she’s got money babe in the county to their store. You know they’re happpy.

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:12 pm rating: 4

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#5 Frankie

You walk in and they say, “Hi! You wan get you nail done?”

And I’m left thinking, Just one???

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:12 pm rating: 30

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- #5.1 sarcastic monkey
  
  Nice racial comment.
  
  Ass.
  
  Feb 20, 2009 at 3:23 pm rating: 37
- #5.2 Mishee
  
  Ass, hmm?
  
  Methinks that’s what you better be watching, you fucking bum.
  
  .sex.
  
  Feb 20, 2009 at 3:43 pm rating: 0
- #5.3 Frankie
  
  Yeah, I just figured that since nobody else was going to make off hand racist jokes that I’d be the only one. Oh wait a minute here… You mean to tell me that I’m not the only one? Someone else here has told a racist joke just to point out how rediculous and outdated they are now? Well fuck. I guess I’ll have to find another serious minded blog to reign down my bigoted terrorizing on and…. What’s that? This site isn’t a serious discussion forum you say? Well that tears it. I need a nap to get over this.
  
  Feb 20, 2009 at 3:55 pm rating: 16
- #5.4 Mishee
  
  But Frankie… its funny cause its true!
  
  Feb 20, 2009 at 3:57 pm rating: 2
- #5.5 Frankie
  
  You got me there Mish. It is true.
  
  Feb 20, 2009 at 3:59 pm rating: 1
- #5.6 sarcastic monkey
  
  Mishee – defender of racist comments
  
  Frankie – ass
  
  Feb 24, 2009 at 12:46 pm rating: 13
- #5.7 Frankie
  
  sarcastic monkey- ignorant.
  You did realize that my original comment was from a quote by an ASIAN comedian right? Oh, you didn’t? Well then you can kiss my ass and go to hell…
  
  Feb 24, 2009 at 1:25 pm rating: 5
- #5.8 Frankie
  
  Feb 24, 2009 at 1:53 pm rating: 1
- #5.9 Mishee
  
  I try to do my best to defend anyone or anything that isn’t able to defend itself…
  
  Like the Pet Rock. Leave those poor fuckers alone!! They can’t help being what they are!
  
  Feb 24, 2009 at 1:57 pm rating: 0
- #5.10 mamason
  
  Somebody should spank that monkey.
  
  Hey, don’t gooks and chinks eat monkeys?
  
  Feb 24, 2009 at 2:54 pm rating: 0
- #5.11 D / DM
  
  Beats me. I know Spics don’t.
  
  Mar 4, 2009 at 5:53 pm rating: 0
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#6 Mishee

I thought we got enough of making fun of Asians during the “3rd Floor Chinese Girl” note…

Well, I guess you can never get enough of making fun of Asians now that I think about it!

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:19 pm rating: 2

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- #6.1 Frankie
  
  I think Miley Cyrus was the one who made it so popular again.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:33 pm rating: 16
- #6.2 mamason
  
  The problem with Asian racial humor is that an hour after you make one offensive comment, you want to make another.
  
  Feb 24, 2009 at 2:56 pm rating: 15
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#7 Mishee

I love that in this strip mall (I assume) you can get your nails done by real Asians, get a tattoo by Lou, and then run over to the “tobacco store” and buy yourself a killer Graffix bong.

I must move to Miami.

No.. wait…. nevermind.

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:20 pm rating: 13

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- #7.1 Mark
  
  Bong? What’s that? Oh, you mean tobacco water pipe, don’t you? Wink wink, nudge nudge?
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 1:31 pm rating: 12
- #7.2 Mike
  
  Just ask Michael Phelps for directions.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 5:19 pm rating: 4
- #7.3 Frankie
  
  Is he that guy on the box of Weedies?
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 11:00 am rating: 8
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#8 Vic Torey-Paughn (nsfw)

I’m liking “High Tide” tobacco and gifts. Now just what could they be insinuating there?

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:30 pm rating: 3

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- #8.1 Frankie
  
  Can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to buy some tobacco and get someone a gift in the same place. Usually I’d just go on down to the Walmart, but that just seems so impersonal.
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 11:02 am rating: 2
- #8.2 Lorelie
  
  Among certain of my ex-friends, “tobacco” would have been considered a prime gift.
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 11:44 am rating: 2
- #8.3 mamason
  
  Primo!
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 7:01 pm rating: 0
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#9 mamason

“We nail you long time.”

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:38 pm rating: 21

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- #9.1 Mike
  
  LOL. I was thinking all that sign needed was a phone number with a 976 prefix.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 5:20 pm rating: 1
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#10 mamason

Yeah but, are the tattoos done professionally by Lou?

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:40 pm rating: 5

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- #10.1 Mishee
  
  Probably not. I think the only thing that a Lou could be a professional at is the following careers:
  
  Mobster
  Pizza place owner
  Biker
  tattoo ar… ahhh! there we go!
  
  Yes mama, I figure he’s a professional….
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 1:47 pm rating: 6
- #10.2 Frankie
  
  Lou is a good plumbers name to Mish.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:35 pm rating: 2
- #10.3 Frankie
  
  umm.. I think I meant “too, Mish.” Unless Mishee thinks it’s a good plumbers name. Then I meant what I said.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:44 pm rating: 6
- #10.4 Canthz_B
  
  Of course they’re professionally done. Lou is Samoan.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 8:26 pm rating: 4
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#11 Holiday Djinn

I would get my nails done there, but I am sensitive to MSG. . . . .

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:45 pm rating: 13

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#12 SanFran

The only way this could be ‘better’ would be if the sign read: “Professionally done by Orientals”.

Asians LOVE it when you call them Oriental.

which reminds me, once, I was on a flight and one of the flight attendants came over the PA and asked in a southern drawl:

“Excuse me, but does anybody on the plane speak asian?”

Laughter ensued.

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:45 pm rating: 21

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- #12.1 Mark
  
  And those damn Chinks just love to be called Nips, too.
  
  Clearly the stewardess should have asked if anyone speaks jive. That would make a lot more sense.
  
  “nips”
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 1:48 pm rating: 13
- #12.2 Mishee
  
  Why, yes! I speak Jive!
  
  And Mark: “stewardess”? WTF? Don’t you know they are called “Flight Attendants” now? It’s an equal opportunity field you know.. both women AND gays can work in it now!
  
  and SanFrancisco (I refuse to use the “nickname”): are you saying something offensive about southerners now? You already make San Franciscans’ eyes bleed with your offensive screen name.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 1:49 pm rating: 14
- #12.3 MAMARILLA2
  
  We gon catch you on the high side…
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 1:52 pm rating: 5
- #12.4 SanFran
  
  I couldn’t imagine being a flight attendant… Seems like perhaps one of the worst jobs, to me, anyhow.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 1:55 pm rating: 1
- #12.5 mamason
  
  Well? Did anyone on the plane speak Asian?
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:05 pm rating: 11
- #12.6 Mishee
  
  I want to know if everyone came or not.
  
  But apparently there are just some things you don’t talk about in public.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:10 pm rating: 3
- #12.7 SanFran
  
  I don’t know… I was too busy trying to dislodge my knees after the shithead in front of me reclined his chair with startling velocity.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:10 pm rating: 6
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#13 JD

Um… Politically Correctness FAIL.

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:47 pm rating: 2

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- #13.1 Mishee
  
  JD – Adverb Fail.
  
  Or Addition of “Ness” Fail.
  
  Not exactly sure which.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 1:48 pm rating: 13
- #13.2 MAMARILLA2
  
  Will some one please shut off the PC alarm..Its giving me a headache.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 1:53 pm rating: 10
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#14 Mishee

I also love how Asians rewrite words phonetically.

QT?

Why would I want cutie nails?

I want them filed to a razor point in case Rosario gets out of line again.

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:55 pm rating: 9

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- #14.1 SanFran
  
  Yesterday, I stopped at a Thai restaurant for some lunch, and there was a bucket outside with a hand-written sign: “Umbrellars”
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:15 pm rating: 2
- #14.2 Frankie
  
  GOT IT MISH!
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:37 pm rating: 1
- #14.3 Meesh
  
  I used to have a Rosario. She stole from me.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:42 pm rating: 2
- #14.4 Mishee
  
  Did she come with a Members Only jacket?
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 6:13 pm rating: 1
- #14.5 fluffy8u
  
  No, she came with juice boxes and a bottle of Vicodin (that’s why she was hired).
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 10:14 pm rating: 2
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#15 anglophile

Once you have a Mongolian manicure, you’ll never go back to the inferior non-Asian manicure again.

Feb 18, 2009 at 1:58 pm rating: 11

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- #15.1 Mishee
  
  Does it come with a hat?
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:02 pm rating: 9
- #15.2 Mark
  
  It comes with a free Frogurt.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:03 pm rating: 6
- #15.3 mamason
  
  And kitten stir-fry.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:07 pm rating: 4
- #15.4 secondsout
  
  Free frogurt, that’s good!
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:27 pm rating: 2
- #15.5 Mark
  
  The frogurt is also cursed. But it comes with your choice of toppings!
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:28 pm rating: 15
- #15.6 Meesh
  
  That’s good!
  
  The toppings contain sodium benzoate… That’s bad
  
  Can I go now?
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:44 pm rating: 4
- #15.7 Mark
  
  Oh, HERE’S your problem. Someone switched this thing to Evil.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:47 pm rating: 15
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#16 claw71

People always rail against “politically correct” terms but without the PC movement this sign would probably read: “professionally done by Chinks.”

Feb 18, 2009 at 2:07 pm rating: 19

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- #16.1 mamason
  
  I think the correct term for manicurists is “gook”. “They” tend to be Vietnamese.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:21 pm rating: 8
- #16.2 Mark
  
  The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fucking adversary.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:23 pm rating: 4
- #16.3 Mishee
  
  Shut the fuck up Donny!
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:24 pm rating: 3
- #16.4 SanFran
  
  “Gook” is their species, and they are usually named Charlie.
  
  I also recommend walking into such an establishment and yelling “INCOMING!” and watch ‘em hit the deck.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:32 pm rating: 10
- #16.5 Frankie
  
  Probably not such a good idea to ask them to “Jap-slap” a coat of Russet Red on your toenails either…
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:39 pm rating: 6
- #16.6 Ti O
  
  So buckethead is incorrect?
  
  I think they are nihlists.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 3:48 pm rating: 1
- #16.7 Holiday Djinn
  
  I am the walrus .. . . . .
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 3:52 pm rating: 2
- #16.8 Ti O
  
  Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon… with nail polish. These fucking amateurs.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 4:02 pm rating: 2
- #16.9 Canthz_B
  
  How’d you guys miss “Slope” and “Pie-face”?
  
  that’s just wrong. don’t hit subm-
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 8:34 pm rating: 4
- #16.10 Lorelie
  
  Zipperhead?
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 11:49 am rating: 1
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#17 secondsout

Looks like someone not-so-professionally smashed Lou’s sign. Perhaps Lou fucked up a tattoo, or the non-professional non-Asian manicurists were mad with their rock-throwing and missed the QT sign.

Feb 18, 2009 at 2:29 pm rating: 2

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#18 secondsout

We used to refer to my friend’s sister as the QT. It was short for Quarter Ton.

Feb 18, 2009 at 2:29 pm rating: 4

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- #18.1 MAMARILLA2
  
  My hubby and his hippy friend use QT a lot but I haven’t a clue what they’re talking about.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 2:52 pm rating: 0
- #18.2 mamason
  
  Quick Tan?
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 3:04 pm rating: 0
- #18.3 b0xxx
  
  Meaning: On the quiet.
  
  As to on the q.t., in The Facts on File Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins, Robert Hendrickson states:
  
  “A British broadside ballad (1870) contained the line ‘Whatever I tell you is on the Q.T.’”
  
  -Google
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 3:19 pm rating: 0
- #18.4 MAMARILLA2
  
  Possible… would you light insence for a secret?
  Of course sometimes they forget to add the T.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 3:51 pm rating: 0
- #18.5 Bunnee
  
  Mamarilla, are you sure they’re not saying “QP”? If so, I’ll be right over…
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 1:17 pm rating: 0
- #18.6 MAMARILLA2
  
  Well.. Maybe so.. They always get so excited and then so hungry….
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 1:31 pm rating: 0
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#19 Cady

Everyone knows Asians are genetically programmed to be excellent manicurists.

Feb 18, 2009 at 3:21 pm rating: 5

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#20 Monkeyspeaks

HAHAHA IVE BEEN THERE!

Feb 18, 2009 at 3:26 pm rating: 1

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#21 Nikki

I have to laugh when I go past one of the nail stores here… I’m in Brisbane, Australia… peppered with America-nail franchises… all with asians about!

haha.

Feb 18, 2009 at 3:42 pm rating: 2

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#22 Breanne

Well, as an avid nail-getter-doner, I can attest that Asians do do it better. Good marketing on their part.

Feb 18, 2009 at 5:09 pm rating: 4

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- #22.1 Monkeyspeaks
  
  Actually its vietnamese – the acrylic and nail fad is actually thanks in part to Vietnamese immagrants that came over in the 70s and again in the 80s. At the time the length of ones nail was a sign of social status so they banked on it. Now 38% of all nail salons are vietnamese run, AND the supplier of most nail products is run by a vietnamese man (Ton).
  
  I love my salon. I got my toesies done two weeks ago and my feet are still soft and the paint job is STILL impecible, even though I work out in close toed shoes and wear flip flops all day. Normally a pedi only lasts me a week. Even the little flower is still oging strong (yes im a dork like that, love lil flowers on my big toesie)
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 6:53 pm rating: 4
- #22.2 GrammarDude
  
  ( to 22.1) Say, Monkeyspeaks, we’d all love to hear about those ‘immagrants’ and your fantastic observations. Do you douche your brain on a regular basis? You really should. It’ll help you spell more of those pesky three- and four-syllable words properly.
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 1:34 am rating: 1
- #22.3 hibousoir
  
  Nice summary of your current events reading, Monkey. Please remember to correctly cite your source. ::cough-businessweek.com link-cough::
  
  Also, can someone get me a bucket. I think I have “toesie” poisoning.
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 10:51 am rating: 2
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#23 aaa

All of the Asian folks I knew had kinda crappy nails. Maybe they just weren’t professional enough.

Feb 18, 2009 at 6:14 pm rating: 3

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#24 JoelWhy

Anyone else remember that movie “Crazy People”, where they have an ad for Sony. “Because Caucasions Are Just Too Damn Tall”.

Feb 18, 2009 at 6:46 pm rating: 6

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- #24.1 Mishee
  
  I always liked Porsche. It’s a little too small to get laid IN it, but you get laid the minute you get out of it!
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 6:52 pm rating: 6
- #24.2 Futon
  
  Volvo – They’re boxy, but they’re good.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 9:48 pm rating: 5
- #24.3 Ti O
  
  “boxy”
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 1:25 pm rating: 0
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#25 Woman on the Verge

So do you think the QT professional stuff being done by the Asians is the “spa” ? Is that what they call it in Asia?

Feb 18, 2009 at 7:36 pm rating: 1

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- #25.1 TheOldSchool
  
  Wotv,
  
  I was just about to comment on this notably absent aspect of the thread.
  
  The “spa” is and always will be the key to success in this service industry.
  
  Most men, no matter their nationality, feel the need, on certain occasions, to “clear the custard.”
  
  While this can be achieved in an infinite number of ways, it is a commonly acknowledged truth amongst recreation aficionados that young ladies from Asia have mastered the art of providing the happiest of endings for a reasonable price.
  
  Not only are they masters of unusual carnival skills, but they have a way of making the customer believe that they are grateful for being given the opportunity to provide the requested service.
  
  How is this sense of gratitude made palpable?
  
  Excellent question. I’m glad I asked it.
  
  In spite of the extensive research I’ve conducted into this phenomena, I’ve surmised that the Asian women are endowed with a gratitude gene that physiologically causes their bodies to shake like shitting dogs during casual encounters with the erect penis.
  
  Whether both parties achieve the same sort of satisfactory conclusion is anyone’s guess, but based purely on the facts on the ground as presented to this dedicated scientist, it would certainly seem so.
  
  Obviously, further study will be necessary before I can offer definitive answers. The study I’m conducting is exhaustive, but a good kind of exhaustive.
  
  Footnote: Well intentioned graduate students often ask me: “aren’t you worried about stds?”
  
  My response is always: “Why should I care about I give them.”
  
  Kids. If they’re the future, God fucking help us.
  
  Feb 18, 2009 at 8:12 pm rating: 9
- #25.2 msinformed
  
  Unusual carnival skills?
  
  Would that include things like being able to do calculus in your head, or write heartfelt sonnets comparable to Shakespeare’s, or perhaps an in-depth understanding of 3D protein structures?
  
  Or did you mean carnal skills instead?
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 4:48 am rating: 3
- #25.3 Lorelie
  
  Carnival skills are swallowing swords and displaying bearded ladies.
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 12:00 pm rating: 3
- #25.4 msinformed
  
  Yes, but those are the usual carnival skills.
  
  I’d like to know more about the unusual carnival skills. Perhaps I could learn some new tricks. Or at least get my money’s worth next time I go to my local “spa”.
  
  Feb 20, 2009 at 2:16 am rating: 0
- #25.5 TheOldSchool
  
  msinformed:
  
  Here’s a secret saying, that until now has been known only to those in the highest echalons of the global sword-swallowing community.
  
  I’m about to share it because I believe it is every person’s duty to do what he or she can to make the world a better place.
  
  This saying should be of use to anyone who feels that his or her oral pleasure-giving is disrupted whenever the dreaded gag-reflex kicks in.
  
  “Dramamine: Make The Drama Mine.”
  
  You’re Welcome.
  
  Feb 21, 2009 at 7:06 pm rating: 0
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#26 TheOldSchool

Corrective balm: “Why should I care about what I give them.”

That’s more like it.

(I hate being misquoted.)

Feb 18, 2009 at 8:22 pm rating: 1

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#27 thrall38

Now I know that white stuff of my nails is really jungle rot!

Feb 19, 2009 at 1:21 am rating: 1

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#28 DirtyOldLady

Well, of course, you wouldn’t want your nails & spa amateurishly done by Asians!

Feb 19, 2009 at 7:13 am rating: 0

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- #28.1 hibousoir
  
  Oh, I do! I don’t have time to slop polish on my nails myself, but I still want to feel superior that I do my own nails. So I go to the amateur asian place around the corner and tell them to just dip my entire finger tip in the bottle. “Right up to the first knuckle!” I tell them.
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 11:01 am rating: 1
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#29 Frankie

Doesn’t MW work in a nail salon?

Feb 19, 2009 at 10:59 am rating: 1

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#30 Ti O

After Lou retired from the TV station he moved down to Florida. He always wanted to open a tattoo shop so he did. The added bonus was the Nail Salon and spa next door where he could indulge his guilty pleasure of Manicures and get a professional happy ending.

Feb 19, 2009 at 11:39 am rating: 2

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- #30.1 Bunnee
  
  Sounds like he was “done” professionally by an Asian!
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 2:39 pm rating: 2
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#31 rev

Fried Chicken, professionally cooked by negroes.

Feb 19, 2009 at 6:09 pm rating: 0

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- #31.1 Frankie
  
  Yeah, kind of like that.
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 6:19 pm rating: 0
- #31.2 mamason
  
  Except not at all.
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 7:08 pm rating: 0
- #31.3 Canthz_B
  
  Analogy…he swings and misses.
  
  Feb 19, 2009 at 8:50 pm rating: 0
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#32 decka

I had this sign in my dreams!!

Feb 25, 2009 at 12:05 am rating: 0

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#33 tree

my boyfriend works at that tattoo shop and they got in trouble for putting “professionally done by caucasians” under their sign years ago to mock that nail place.

Feb 27, 2009 at 9:13 pm rating: 1

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#34 sunflower

haha thats by 163rd, i never noticed that before

Mar 5, 2009 at 6:18 pm rating: 0

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#35 No tortillas allowed | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] related: Professionally done “by Asians” [...]

Oct 15, 2011 at 12:39 pm rating: 0

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