Lately, our anonymous submitter in New York has been going to the HousingWorks cafe to study for the bar exam. Because tables near electrical outlets are hot commodities, for the past few days she’s ended up sharing a table with the same “over-the-hill dude.”
Our submitter knows her table-sharing etiquette: “I always keep the table free of clutter and I don’t chat loudly,” she says. Yesterday, however, while catching up with a friend who dropped by the cafe, her tablemate interrupted to hand her this note, said, “This is for you,” and left.
Adds our submitter: “I don’t know which is more irritating, the fact that this douchebag told me not to ever sit with him again, or that that he felt the need to write it down and couch it in oh-so-polite phrases.”
related: An official declaration of the silent treatment
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155 responses so far ↓
#1
redmum
They should sit with them again and pass them a note saying ‘no’.
Feb 19, 2009 at 12:59 pm rating: 152
#2
Vic
Personally, the thing I’d object to most is that absolutely filthy piece of paper. Ew.
Feb 19, 2009 at 1:01 pm rating: 77
#3
Ti O
You seem like a serial killer. Please don’t kill me on my walk home in the dark.
Feb 19, 2009 at 1:04 pm rating: 28
#4
Lorelie
He thought they were going to try to double team him and he’d have to admit that his balls shriveled up and died many years ago.
Feb 19, 2009 at 1:07 pm rating: 13
#5
zenvelo
does this mean the threesome is off?
Feb 19, 2009 at 1:13 pm rating: 19
#6
Mishee
I wish he had left me that note.
Oh I wish, I wish, I wish!
That’s when the gloves come off!
Feb 19, 2009 at 1:13 pm rating: 11
#7
marcus
finally, an excuse to take up eating durians in public! (note, you don’t actually have to eat it, opening one up ought to be enough).
Feb 19, 2009 at 1:21 pm rating: 12
#8
Vern Ryerse
Not 100%, but it looks like he might of wiped his ass first with the paper?
Time to call Health Dept
Feb 19, 2009 at 1:30 pm rating: 2
#9
amoi
If she can get to the table first the next time, she could have her own note ready for him. “You are over the hill and cranky. Please do not sit with me ever again.”
Feb 19, 2009 at 1:34 pm rating: 19
#10
QuarterRoy00
Someone needs to teach this man to close his letters…look at all those open loops!
Feb 19, 2009 at 1:35 pm rating: 4
#11
Patti
I’d be concerned why he appeared to step on the paper before folding it.
Feb 19, 2009 at 1:39 pm rating: 2
#12
Pat
Being an awkward shy dude, I get this.
Me and my friend were sitting at Dunkin Donuts in my town on Long Island once and we were having a conversation drinking our milky way hot chocolates when this women put her food on our table, we thought it was weird but thought really nothing of it. Then she sat down! It was weird, we got up and left.
I mean there were no other tables, but still, she didn’t ask she just did it, which was weird.
I’d be freaked if I was this guy too, especially if it happened a lot with the same people.
But the note? Haha, speak your mind buddy, like that’s beyond being shy that’s being rude/
Feb 19, 2009 at 1:42 pm rating: 18
#13
Mel
This cracks me up!
Feb 19, 2009 at 2:02 pm rating: 0
#14
lightspeed
Although he should have politely and directly addressed her, it is kind of annoying to have to listen to someone else’s procrastination chatter. I took the bar too, so believe me, there is nothing like bar-studying-I-hate-my-life-and-won’t-have-a-job-even-if-I-pass-because-the-economy-sucks-procrastination chatter.
Feb 19, 2009 at 2:05 pm rating: 21
#15
d
housingworks is awesome.
Feb 19, 2009 at 2:07 pm rating: 1
#16
GhostWriter
Yeah, I’m over the hill. Old enough to be your father, in fact.
I tried to put it as nicely as I could in the note. To explain, you remind me of my own two daughters. My two lovely daughters, who no longer come to visit or call.
These days, I take it upon myself to bring home “new” daughters every once in a while. We talk, we play, a little rough-housing, some love taps, and then it’s off to sleep for my little girls.
Yes, it’s wrong. I know that. I don’t want to put you girls to bed, but if you keep stopping by, one thing will lead to another, soon you’ll say, “Hey, he’s a lovable old coot after all,” and voila -you find yourself tied to my radiator. Same old, same old.
Well, it’s up to you.
Feb 19, 2009 at 2:13 pm rating: 66
#17
Zhopka
Does the submitter really think that “I don’t chat loudly” is a huge achievement for a place where people go “to study for the bar exam”? If you’re hunting tables with electrical outlets, you’re looking to work on your laptop. If someone joins you with their laptop for the proximity for the said outlet, you do not expect them to not “chat loudly”. You expect them to respect the arrangement and get their ass elsewhere if they want to chat for longer than 10 minutes.
Submitter is a self-righteous bitch, and the dude is obviously too shy/PA to deal with people like that. It is clear that she joined him, not the other way around. Then her friend joined her. Then the “catching up” started.
There’s a reason rudeness and tactlessness are sometimes called the alternative form of bliss. They make you comfy enough to offend others.
Wish the dude had spoken up instead.
Feb 19, 2009 at 2:21 pm rating: 75
#18
se
Is submitter studying for bar exam or chatting on cell phone while catching up with old friend?
She also never said what the “over-the-hill” dude was doing there. Is it possible that he was really studying for a bar exam and her incessant chatter was fucking annoying?
team “over-the-hill” dude, whatever the fuck she means by that.
Feb 19, 2009 at 2:50 pm rating: 39
#19
shane
Sit with him every time now and bring friends!!
Feb 19, 2009 at 3:03 pm rating: 2
#20
Ryan
That WIFI was delicious!
Feb 19, 2009 at 3:18 pm rating: 0
#21
claw71
Our anonymous submitter clearly doesn’t know her table sharing etiquette if she just started jabbering with one of her harpies from the Chi Omega house while sharing a table with a complete stranger.
It’s kind of like black people. Nobody minds if a black family moves in next door, but when they start inviting their friends over it’s only a matter of time before another black family moves in across the street. Before too long the entire block smells like fried chicken and your own white children are sticky with watermelon juice.
Of course this is far worse. The anonymous submitter is studying for the bar exam. A lawyer. I can’t blame him and submitting this request in writing makes sense, I’m just surprised he didn’t have it notarized.
Feb 19, 2009 at 3:39 pm rating: 27
#22
Danny
sorry, gotta go with the “over the hill” guy on this one.
Feb 19, 2009 at 3:43 pm rating: 17
#23
ozy
Silly me, I thought the etiquette for sharing tables with a stranger is “don’t”.
Sounds like she was being rude and sitting at a table without asking.
Feb 19, 2009 at 3:49 pm rating: 20
#24
claw71
OMG!!! She was sitting next to Tom Petty!
HEY! Don’t come arouund here no more.
Don’t come around here no more
There’s a table by the door
HEY! Don’t come around here no more.
Could you shut up? STOP. Could you shut up? STOP
Could you shut up? Stop. You’re talking so much louder
Could you shut up? Stop. Your spit got in my chowder.
Dont come around here no more
Dont come around here no more
Dont come around here no more
Dont come around here no more
Don’t sit here anymore
You stupid legal whore
I sat here long before
HEY! don’t come around here no more.
Feb 19, 2009 at 3:53 pm rating: 27
#25
Paula Fransceze
Frank Sinatra says “STFU!” Figures the submitter is anonymous because s/he was clearly in the wrong.
Feb 19, 2009 at 3:55 pm rating: 3
#26
aaa
Note-writer is a dirty lying bastard. Obviously he doesn’t think that the submitter and her friend don’t seem that nice if he doesn’t want them to sit with him ever again.
Feb 19, 2009 at 6:59 pm rating: 2
#27
TheOldSchool
I thought the elderly gentleman’s note was overly polite.
If this silly chuff munching moo cow truly wanted to pass her bar exam, she would be studying in the law school library.
It appears, however, that she’s more interested in making a nuisance of herself by loudly setting up clam jousting sessions in public places.
The geezer’s only error was in seeing to it that this highly offensive, young slattern paid a higher price than she did for her selfish attitude, rude behavior, and pissy conceits.
Feb 19, 2009 at 8:14 pm rating: 17
#28
TheOldSchool
CB,
On Safari, it’s a one shot deal.
Plus, if I did get 5 minutes to edit, I’d probably wind up just piggy-backing on top of an already burdened, asinine jackass of a comment.
Mistakes get made, but the mule team marches on.
Feb 19, 2009 at 8:41 pm rating: 2
#29
Molly
I can picture this guy. I’ll bet he wears a sports coat and a ponytail.
Feb 19, 2009 at 10:13 pm rating: 2
#30
renee
when i go to a cafe and/or coffee shop, i do not go to socialize. i am there to either read or write, and i purposely pick individual seats in which to do that.
if i were at a booth or a table, however, it would horribly offend me if someone sat down without asking, particularly if they continued to sit down repeatedly without asking.
while the note may be disgusting, it is him expressing his desire for you to go away. perhaps he didn’t feel comfortable with a conversation. perhaps he is developmentally delayed or has some other kind of issue.
either way, in my opinion, cafe, starbucks, restaurant, whatever — you do not sit with people you do not know without asking first.
some people need their space, and at some point you might end up next to someone who has a 10 point panic attack at your unexpected, undesired presence.
Feb 19, 2009 at 11:19 pm rating: 17
#31
TheOldSchool
I’ve found that my ability to rotate my head 360 degrees in either direction has been beneficial when I’m in crowded coffee bars, yet still feel the desire to contemplate life’s mysteries in pseudo-solitude.
(Also great for shushing chatterboxes at the cinema.)
Feb 20, 2009 at 12:05 am rating: 10
#32
anglophile
Places you have every right to expect quiet from your fellow humans: church, movies, concerts and plays, the library, and weddings.
Places you have no right to expect quiet from your fellow humans: public transportation, sporting events, cocktail parties, coffee shops and weddings (if your fellow human knows you keep your mad wife locked up in the attic).
Feb 20, 2009 at 7:36 am rating: 16
#33
Hmmm...
My guess is that the “over the hill dude” was a vampire. He probably had just about all he could take from those first couple of times she sat with him but when she brought along her friend, well that was the last straw. Hey, it was either the note or all out lunchfest.
Feb 20, 2009 at 9:01 am rating: 2
#34
Julie
passing you the note IS weird, but sitting down at someone else’s table and proceeding to yap it up with your buddy is seriously inconsiderate. you should have left your table when your friend dropped by.
Feb 20, 2009 at 1:51 pm rating: 11
#35
shenanigans!
he should’ve made it into a paper plane and thrown it at your big forehead. please never sit with me either.
Feb 20, 2009 at 2:49 pm rating: 10
#36
hamburke
I don’t go to coffee shops often but I did go with a group of moms from my daughter’s 1st grade class after the holiday party but before school got out – there were 4 of us. We ordered and sat down, 2 men who had been sitting reading the paper at a table gave us looks of disgust and got up and left. We weren’t even sharing a table with them. this is probably the reason I don’t like coffee houses.
Feb 20, 2009 at 3:02 pm rating: 2
#37
sab
I was in assigned to the next cube from a silly twit like her in law school. Endless series of friends who stopped by to chatter “not to loudly” when they could have easily walked five paces to other other side of the door and been out of earshot from all of us in the library who were actually there to study and not just to chatter with our passing friends.
Feb 23, 2009 at 12:59 am rating: 3
#38
Entitled
I love it. Almost become a meme! Although I was dissapointed that I didn’t get more hate on the other thread…
It was pretty good how some of you seriously didn’t realise I was trolling. Yes, I am the new Hitler!
My rock hard fists salute you!
Also, it’s a café, who goes to a café to study in quiet? That’s crazy.
I’m with the bitch.
Feb 23, 2009 at 8:47 am rating: 0
#39
Jsmoke
“You seem like really nice people, but the mere sight of you makes me want to run amuk and dismember everyone in this cafe. So please, for all our sakes, don’t sit at my special table ever again. Thanks.”–Over the hill dude
Feb 24, 2009 at 8:36 am rating: 2
#40
In your ear
Passing a note and then leaving is a good way for a man to express himself while avoiding any unnecessary drama. On the other side, women like drama and this note stirred some up. Seems like a win-win situation to me.
Feb 25, 2009 at 1:38 am rating: 2
#41
Common Sense
A future lawyer was being rude? Impossible.
Get over yourself honey.
Feb 27, 2009 at 5:15 pm rating: 3
#42
ew
the receiver of the note is the douche. i would be annoyed too if some pretentious bitch sat right next to me and kept yapping to her friend. that’s so annoying.
Mar 10, 2009 at 6:31 pm rating: 5
#43
Yelena
Am I the only one who’s really creeped out by how that note LOOKS? That is some serious serial killer handwriting, and the paper is all grimy, like it’s from one of the Saw movies.
Mar 12, 2009 at 3:35 am rating: 1
#44 no good deed…
[...] related: awkward cake [...]
May 12, 2009 at 9:18 am rating: 0
#45 I’m sorry if this is rude, but…your mere presence offends my delicate sensibilities. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] “You seem like really nice people, but… [...]
Aug 10, 2010 at 9:37 pm rating: 0
#46 Your knees are pressing up against my repressed rage | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] You seem nice, but please don’t sit near me ever again. [...]
Dec 14, 2010 at 5:06 pm rating: 0
#47 So much for Minnesota nice | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: You seem like really nice people. Really. [...]
Jul 21, 2011 at 9:47 am rating: 0
#48 Sigh-onara forever | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: Please don’t sit with me every again. [...]
Oct 27, 2011 at 9:55 pm rating: 0
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