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Oh, sure, blame it on the housekeeper

February 20th, 2009 · 73 comments

Says Corrine in Los Angeles: “I walked into my friends’ building and saw these posted ALL OVER.” (Trifling much?)

Did someone's housekeeper take my 2 DOZEN white bath towels from the top dryer by mistake? PLEASE return to Paula #101!

related: come get some

FILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · excessive underlining · laundry · Los Angeles · stealing

73 responses so far ↓

  • #1   kaaaaay

    Paula#101 assumes a lot here. One, that it was a housekeeper, and two, that it was a mistake…..
    Apparently no one would take the fluffy white towels just for kicks. ;-)
    And what kind of dryer holds 2 DOZEN towels?

    Feb 20, 2009 at 12:07 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   aaaaaaaaaaamy

      Mine does. I have a beautiful drum dryer from Fischer Paykel.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 12:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #2   MJL

    And more importantly, who the hell has 2 dozen bath towels to begin with?

    Feb 20, 2009 at 12:10 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Lorelie

      And what in the world were they doing that 2 dozen need to be washed all at once?

      Feb 20, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Bunnee

      I do, but none of them match.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I knew someone who had that many white towels to wash at one time.. They also had 3 trailer houses in the middle of Nevada with several young Ladies(?) in residence… they had a housekeeper … and a Madam.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 1:17 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   M

      She got them from various hotels and motels from across the country of course.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 4:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   MJWalrus

      “who has 2 doz. white towels?”


      Feb 20, 2009 at 9:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   HairySwede

      a housekeeper has two dozen white towels. thats who.

      Feb 21, 2009 at 10:47 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   Paul Murray

      The only person who brings two dozen good white towels to a hotel and launders them there is a prostitute doing incalls at the hotel. They bring their own towels so as not to use whatever crappy ones the hotel might happen to have.

      Good towels are expensive.

      Feb 27, 2009 at 7:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.8   Paul Murray

      Hotel, or serviced apartment. Servviced apartments make more sense of the “somebody’s housekeeper” line.

      Feb 27, 2009 at 7:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #3   Annalee Flower Horne

    Those towels were ****ing delicious.

    (old jokes don’t die, they just fade away…)

    Feb 20, 2009 at 12:10 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Lorelie

      Old jokes don’t die, they’re stomped painfully into oblivion.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   amy d bang

      **** that joke, dude.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 1:34 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #4   Bunnee

    Hey, hey Paula–No, my housekeeper didn’t take them. I did. They are now covered with brown streaks and they are in the parking lot dumpster. They looked SO soft! But, a word of warning–Be careful! Hobos sleep in the dumpster, you know.


    Feb 20, 2009 at 12:12 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Beelzebubba

      Now that’s just mean Bunnee.

      You know Paula is hobophobic.

      Brown streaks?

      Stay away from my towels!

      Feb 20, 2009 at 11:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #5   MAMARILLA2 bang

    Is she jealous because everyone else has a housekeeper and she has to do her own laundry?

    Feb 20, 2009 at 12:21 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #6   jessie

    Im still incredibly curious about this housekeeper. I think it might be because housekeepers occasionally get accused of stealing things. I used to be a housekeeper for this rich old doctor and they would leave jewelry dropped on the floor and money dropped in mysterious places to see if I’d take it.

    Those towels could have been a trap, you know.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 12:26 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Bunnee

      Yes, 2 dozen white towels will fetch a high price on the street. You know, for the windshield cleaning men at the stop lights.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 1:41 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #7   Sheepish bang

    Just because Paula’s husband refers to her as ‘Housekeeper’ does not mean that every wife is called that.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 12:30 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Lorelie

      Does that mean not every wife is called “baby maker” either?

      My husband has some ‘splainin’ to do. . .

      Feb 20, 2009 at 1:27 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   anchises868 bang

      You know, some wives are too busy cooking and cleaning to be birthin’ babies.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 1:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   amy d bang

      I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ no babies!

      Feb 20, 2009 at 2:02 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #8   Sirius bang

    Paula’s printing becomes progressively angry as she completes her note — the legs of her R’s and K’s take on that goose-steppy rigidity that makes me want to invade Poland.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 1:30 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Bunnee

      Bring me back some sausage! ;)

      Feb 20, 2009 at 2:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Mark bang

      Is it springtime yet? I think it’s still winter in Poland and France…

      Feb 20, 2009 at 2:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   joe

      Springtime for Hitler in Germany!

      Now there was a guy who loved white towels and probably had reason to launder 24 of them at the same time. Makes you wonder what exactly is going on in #101.

      Feb 21, 2009 at 12:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   fluffy8u bang

      Maybe Paula #101 had Hitler over for tea (it’s not quite Springtime in Germany, so he had a weekend to spare before he had to be back). When all of the sudden Kang and Kodos appear! (Oh nos!) And wouldn’t you know it, they forgot their space helmets so all that saliva went into poor Paula #101′s carpet! Well, she had to do something, she is the only one in the building who doesn’t have a housekeeper (for shame!). So quickly Paula #101 gabbed a towel but one wouldn’t do it. Two became three or four, then it turned into a dozen… man those aliens drool a lot. And they would not leave till poor Paula #101 had used two dozen towel trying to get spit off her Persian rug. When they left, it was discovered that all the towels she owned were drenched in alien spit. Someone had some laundry to do… Paula #101′s only mistake is that she let it slip that she did have a housekeeper. Now she will be teased by all the other women and won’t be invited to Poker…
      Sad face.

      … Too much?

      Feb 21, 2009 at 12:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #9   Bunnee

    The date on the note indicates that it is almost Halloween. Maybe she needs 2 dozen white towels to fabricate her KKK costume! With a few safety pins and some starch, she’d be set. That’ll show those rich neighbors of hers, making their housekeepers take the children trick or treating!

    Feb 20, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Canthz_B bang

      Do they use towels as accessories their sheets now in the KKK?

      Feb 20, 2009 at 8:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   Canthz_B bang

      GAK! I dropped a ‘to’, sorry ’bout that.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 9:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   Bunnee

      Well, it’s supposed to be a costume. They’re white and there’s a bunch of them. Besides, somebody’s housekeeper already stole all of her sheets.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 11:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #10   Jim

    What’s a Z dozen?

    Feb 20, 2009 at 1:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #11   anchises868 bang

    I think what irritates me more is the wanton mixing of upper case and lower case letters in the middle of her words….

    Feb 20, 2009 at 1:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #12   Mishee bang

    I wonder if the housekeeper’s voice sounds like Pierce Brosnan…

    (what??? the note doesn’t offer much, I have to work with what I am given!!)

    Feb 20, 2009 at 2:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   fluffy8u bang

      Nope. Gary Cooper.

      Feb 21, 2009 at 12:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #13   JoelWhy

    This is soooo going to make me late for my Klan meeting!

    Feb 20, 2009 at 2:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #14   claw71 bang

    Her neighbors thought Paula was just a slut, given the number of strange men seen staying at her apartment over night but it turns out she was operating her own little Motel 6 franchise all this time.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 2:09 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #15   mamason bang

    I wonder why she didn’t mention the fact that those towels have spent a lot of time between her legs?

    Feb 20, 2009 at 2:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #16   Woman on the Verge bang

    Do you know how long it took Paula to bleach out the green “Holiday Inn” from those white towels?

    Feb 20, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

  • #17   Andy

    Obviously he’s the top dryer with 2 dozen bath towels! Those other poor dryers only have 1 maybe 2 bath towels at most. How the hell do you expect them to compete with Mr. 24 pack? Shit, I’d be the top dryer, too, if I had 24 towels to work with!

    Don’t you think you should just go ask him who took the towels from him? And tell that pansy to put up a fight next time!

    Feb 20, 2009 at 2:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #18   bernd das brot

    I bet Paula had her own housekeeper post these all over the building.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 2:51 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   fluffy8u bang

      That’s right, you give her the benefit of the doubt!

      Feb 21, 2009 at 12:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #19   Monkeyspeaks

    I wasn’t going to return them, but the angry tripple underline and well colored exclimation mark has both frightened me and forced me to see the error in my ways. I’m sorry I toke your two dozen fluffy white towels.
    The Housekeeper #102

    Feb 20, 2009 at 3:37 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #20   Monkeyspeaks

    Now I see this happened in LA it makes it a little less strange. I also want to go visit said building now.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 3:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #21   aaa

    White bath towels? Ew. Note-writer’s better off without towels in such a grunge-attracting color (er, neutral).

    Feb 20, 2009 at 3:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   cucumber

      White’s great for towels because you can use bleach on them. Real bleach.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 4:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #22   Girl Friday


    Did someone’s housekeeper steal my 2 dozen Xanax from my nightstand by mistake?

    I am off my meds and freaking out about missing bath towels!

    Feb 20, 2009 at 3:49 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #23   Hmmm...

    This is what you get when you leave your laundry unattended…hey Paula, just be glad it wasn’t two dozen pairs of your underwear (although I doubt she owns that many).

    Feb 20, 2009 at 4:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   fluffy8u bang

      Are you kidding?! She doesn’t own any!

      Feb 21, 2009 at 12:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #24   hibousoir

    Maybe Paula is a massage therapist? Sometimes they have to provide their own linens–which means washing their own linens, too. Towels are expensive. I’d sure be pissed off if someone stole my stuff out of the laundry room. But I’ve lived in enough places with community facilities to know better than to leave my laundry unattended.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 4:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Hmmm...

      I think she secretly lives the life of a nudist who often has to towel off her sweat due to a need to keep her apartment nice and toasty.

      Feb 20, 2009 at 4:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.2   jadefirefly

      hibousoir, I was thinking the same. But then I got distracted wondering who in the world yoinks 24 bath towels, and imagining how that person looked waddling down the hall after, arms overloaded with fluffy white towels. Trying to peer over the top, running into people, “Oh, sorry! Just… doin’ laundry. Yep. Don’t mind me.”

      Feb 20, 2009 at 8:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #24.3   hibousoir

      Hmmm… — LOL! But you’d think she’d have put that in the note, wouldn’t you? “BTW, I sit naked on those towels while I’m watching Oprah!”

      Jade — Yeah, you’d think that would take some planning, wouldn’t you? “Okay, she’s leaving the laundry room . . . now! Go, go, go!” My money is on someone in the apartments closer to the laundry room.

      Feb 21, 2009 at 12:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #25   se

    Mistress Paula, what are you saying? I don’t get to wear a diaper tonight because some asshousekeeper STOLE ‘em?
    May I cry now, Mistress Paula?

    Feb 20, 2009 at 4:39 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #26   You Suck at Craigslist

    24 towels? Do you use a different bath towel every day? Or do you take three showers a day?

    Methinks someone is a bit germophobic. I bet those towels smell like bleach.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 4:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #27   Jall-apeno

    Well it is clear that the housekeeper took them because Paula stole her ShamWow! ( You can use the ShamWow in the kitchen, bathroom, RV, boat, at the pool…the list goes on! I would be surprised if the housekeeper stopped there because the ShamWow is so darned amazing that the 24 towels can only be considered a down payment.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #28   zenvelo

    What did Paulas 1 -100 think?

    white towels make me think Paula is a girls’ gym teacher…and she had the gymnastics team over for some floor exercises, if you catch my meaning, and I think you do….

    Feb 20, 2009 at 7:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #29   Ti O bang

    Paula obviously needs all those towels to wipe the sweat overspray coming off of Randy and the spittle from Simon’s effete lisp.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 7:54 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #30   TheOldSchool bang

    Any sober handwriting analyst would immediately recognize that Paula’s penmanship reveals her to be just another failed actress-wannabe.

    So desperate for fame, she’s taken to concocting fake crimes in order to get noticed.

    So desperate for fortune, she’s deluded herself into believing that the crack-heads and pedophiles, who share co-festering duties with her at the same rat-trap address, are actually A-list celebs, each with his or her own retinue.

    There were no towels. Paula, pack your bags. We’ve got you a stand-by ticket on the 10:30 bus back to Topeka. You’re the headliner’s assistant at the new Chuck E. Cheese. (If you play your cards right, the bright lights of Wichita could be beckoning by year’s end!)

    Feb 20, 2009 at 8:40 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #31   Canthz_B bang

    Now two dozen gas stations will have to close because their owners also live in #101.

    Yeah, I know the terrorist angle was funnier, but I’m too tired to have some ass feel the need to tell me the difference between Sikhs and Muslims.

    Feb 20, 2009 at 9:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #32   Beelzebubba

    I think I took Paula 101 in my freshman year.

    I’m not entirely certain I passed. There was a lot of …. well, not really experimentation with drugs. More like full scale research.

    Ah, to be 18 again and fear no hangovers or nasty side effects.

    Feb 21, 2009 at 12:10 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #33   canadian deadhead

    I love the fact that she made a point of dating the note – just so we can’t confuse this particular incident with any other thefts of 2 doz. white towels! Gawd knows how often it must be happening…

    Feb 21, 2009 at 7:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #34   John in IL

    No, Paula #101, I took them on purpose.

    Teh Housekeeper.

    Feb 21, 2009 at 11:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #35   Neeners

    Paula – I’m sorry I took the towels. It was an emergency. My toilet backed up in 103 and I ran out of white towels to mop it up with. As soon as they dry I’ll return them.

    Feb 22, 2009 at 1:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #36   Neeners

    Paula – If you want them sooner they are hanging from my balcony. Toodles!

    Feb 22, 2009 at 1:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #37   georgie

    Psshhttt! why you got to blame de houzekeeeper? Mmmhmmm! (snap!snap!snap!snap!)

    Feb 22, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #38   shel2u

    I love the total PA phrase of “by mistake.” How could anyone take 24 white bath towels “by mistake?” Oh, of course… it was someone’s housekeeper. They are so incredibly stupid that they don’t recognize white towel after white towel coming out of the dryer. I can see the dumb housekeeper now, scratching her head and wondering how the darks she put in the dryer became whites. Psssht!

    Feb 25, 2009 at 6:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #39   Yelena bang

    Who would take twenty-four towels by mistake?

    Mar 12, 2009 at 3:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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