Says Corrine in Los Angeles: “I walked into my friends’ building and saw these posted ALL OVER.” (Trifling much?)
related: come get some
Oh, sure, blame it on the housekeeper
February 20th, 2009 · 73 comments
FILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · excessive underlining · laundry · Los Angeles · stealing
73 responses so far ↓
#1
kaaaaay
Paula#101 assumes a lot here. One, that it was a housekeeper, and two, that it was a mistake…..
Apparently no one would take the fluffy white towels just for kicks.
And what kind of dryer holds 2 DOZEN towels?
Feb 20, 2009 at 12:07 pm rating: 15
#2
MJL
And more importantly, who the hell has 2 dozen bath towels to begin with?
Feb 20, 2009 at 12:10 pm rating: 41
#3
Annalee Flower Horne
Those towels were ****ing delicious.
(old jokes don’t die, they just fade away…)
Feb 20, 2009 at 12:10 pm rating: 7
#4
Bunnee
Hey, hey Paula–No, my housekeeper didn’t take them. I did. They are now covered with brown streaks and they are in the parking lot dumpster. They looked SO soft! But, a word of warning–Be careful! Hobos sleep in the dumpster, you know.
Kisses!
Feb 20, 2009 at 12:12 pm rating: 9
#5
MAMARILLA2
Is she jealous because everyone else has a housekeeper and she has to do her own laundry?
Feb 20, 2009 at 12:21 pm rating: 9
#6
jessie
Im still incredibly curious about this housekeeper. I think it might be because housekeepers occasionally get accused of stealing things. I used to be a housekeeper for this rich old doctor and they would leave jewelry dropped on the floor and money dropped in mysterious places to see if I’d take it.
Those towels could have been a trap, you know.
Feb 20, 2009 at 12:26 pm rating: 13
#7
Sheepish
Just because Paula’s husband refers to her as ‘Housekeeper’ does not mean that every wife is called that.
Feb 20, 2009 at 12:30 pm rating: 31
#8
Sirius
Paula’s printing becomes progressively angry as she completes her note — the legs of her R’s and K’s take on that goose-steppy rigidity that makes me want to invade Poland.
Feb 20, 2009 at 1:30 pm rating: 26
#9
Bunnee
The date on the note indicates that it is almost Halloween. Maybe she needs 2 dozen white towels to fabricate her KKK costume! With a few safety pins and some starch, she’d be set. That’ll show those rich neighbors of hers, making their housekeepers take the children trick or treating!
Feb 20, 2009 at 1:38 pm rating: 6
#10
Jim
What’s a Z dozen?
Feb 20, 2009 at 1:39 pm rating: 2
#11
anchises868
I think what irritates me more is the wanton mixing of upper case and lower case letters in the middle of her words….
Feb 20, 2009 at 1:40 pm rating: 1
#12
Mishee
I wonder if the housekeeper’s voice sounds like Pierce Brosnan…
(what??? the note doesn’t offer much, I have to work with what I am given!!)
Feb 20, 2009 at 2:07 pm rating: 3
#13
JoelWhy
This is soooo going to make me late for my Klan meeting!
Feb 20, 2009 at 2:08 pm rating: 3
#14
claw71
Her neighbors thought Paula was just a slut, given the number of strange men seen staying at her apartment over night but it turns out she was operating her own little Motel 6 franchise all this time.
Feb 20, 2009 at 2:09 pm rating: 9
#15
mamason
I wonder why she didn’t mention the fact that those towels have spent a lot of time between her legs?
Feb 20, 2009 at 2:24 pm rating: 3
#16
Woman on the Verge
Do you know how long it took Paula to bleach out the green “Holiday Inn” from those white towels?
Feb 20, 2009 at 2:26 pm rating: 23
#17
Andy
Obviously he’s the top dryer with 2 dozen bath towels! Those other poor dryers only have 1 maybe 2 bath towels at most. How the hell do you expect them to compete with Mr. 24 pack? Shit, I’d be the top dryer, too, if I had 24 towels to work with!
Don’t you think you should just go ask him who took the towels from him? And tell that pansy to put up a fight next time!
Feb 20, 2009 at 2:44 pm rating: 3
#18
bernd das brot
I bet Paula had her own housekeeper post these all over the building.
Feb 20, 2009 at 2:51 pm rating: 9
#19
Monkeyspeaks
I wasn’t going to return them, but the angry tripple underline and well colored exclimation mark has both frightened me and forced me to see the error in my ways. I’m sorry I toke your two dozen fluffy white towels.
The Housekeeper #102
Feb 20, 2009 at 3:37 pm rating: 5
#20
Monkeyspeaks
Now I see this happened in LA it makes it a little less strange. I also want to go visit said building now.
Feb 20, 2009 at 3:45 pm rating: 0
#21
aaa
White bath towels? Ew. Note-writer’s better off without towels in such a grunge-attracting color (er, neutral).
Feb 20, 2009 at 3:45 pm rating: 0
#22
Girl Friday
10-23-08
Did someone’s housekeeper steal my 2 dozen Xanax from my nightstand by mistake?
I am off my meds and freaking out about missing bath towels!
Feb 20, 2009 at 3:49 pm rating: 16
#23
Hmmm...
This is what you get when you leave your laundry unattended…hey Paula, just be glad it wasn’t two dozen pairs of your underwear (although I doubt she owns that many).
Feb 20, 2009 at 4:12 pm rating: 1
#24
hibousoir
Maybe Paula is a massage therapist? Sometimes they have to provide their own linens–which means washing their own linens, too. Towels are expensive. I’d sure be pissed off if someone stole my stuff out of the laundry room. But I’ve lived in enough places with community facilities to know better than to leave my laundry unattended.
Feb 20, 2009 at 4:16 pm rating: 2
#25
se
Mistress Paula, what are you saying? I don’t get to wear a diaper tonight because some asshousekeeper STOLE ‘em?
May I cry now, Mistress Paula?
Feb 20, 2009 at 4:39 pm rating: 6
#26
You Suck at Craigslist
24 towels? Do you use a different bath towel every day? Or do you take three showers a day?
Methinks someone is a bit germophobic. I bet those towels smell like bleach.
Feb 20, 2009 at 4:49 pm rating: 3
#27
Jall-apeno
Well it is clear that the housekeeper took them because Paula stole her ShamWow! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwRISkyV_B8). You can use the ShamWow in the kitchen, bathroom, RV, boat, at the pool…the list goes on! I would be surprised if the housekeeper stopped there because the ShamWow is so darned amazing that the 24 towels can only be considered a down payment.
Feb 20, 2009 at 5:59 pm rating: 4
#28
zenvelo
What did Paulas 1 -100 think?
white towels make me think Paula is a girls’ gym teacher…and she had the gymnastics team over for some floor exercises, if you catch my meaning, and I think you do….
Feb 20, 2009 at 7:19 pm rating: 5
#29
Ti O
Paula obviously needs all those towels to wipe the sweat overspray coming off of Randy and the spittle from Simon’s effete lisp.
Feb 20, 2009 at 7:54 pm rating: 4
#30
TheOldSchool
Any sober handwriting analyst would immediately recognize that Paula’s penmanship reveals her to be just another failed actress-wannabe.
So desperate for fame, she’s taken to concocting fake crimes in order to get noticed.
So desperate for fortune, she’s deluded herself into believing that the crack-heads and pedophiles, who share co-festering duties with her at the same rat-trap address, are actually A-list celebs, each with his or her own retinue.
There were no towels. Paula, pack your bags. We’ve got you a stand-by ticket on the 10:30 bus back to Topeka. You’re the headliner’s assistant at the new Chuck E. Cheese. (If you play your cards right, the bright lights of Wichita could be beckoning by year’s end!)
Feb 20, 2009 at 8:40 pm rating: 9
#31
Canthz_B
Now two dozen gas stations will have to close because their owners also live in #101.
Yeah, I know the terrorist angle was funnier, but I’m too tired to have some ass feel the need to tell me the difference between Sikhs and Muslims.
Feb 20, 2009 at 9:04 pm rating: 2
#32
Beelzebubba
I think I took Paula 101 in my freshman year.
I’m not entirely certain I passed. There was a lot of …. well, not really experimentation with drugs. More like full scale research.
Ah, to be 18 again and fear no hangovers or nasty side effects.
Feb 21, 2009 at 12:10 am rating: 5
#33
canadian deadhead
I love the fact that she made a point of dating the note – just so we can’t confuse this particular incident with any other thefts of 2 doz. white towels! Gawd knows how often it must be happening…
Feb 21, 2009 at 7:49 pm rating: 2
#34
John in IL
No, Paula #101, I took them on purpose.
Teh Housekeeper.
Feb 21, 2009 at 11:03 pm rating: 0
#35
Neeners
Paula – I’m sorry I took the towels. It was an emergency. My toilet backed up in 103 and I ran out of white towels to mop it up with. As soon as they dry I’ll return them.
Feb 22, 2009 at 1:53 am rating: 3
#36
Neeners
Paula – If you want them sooner they are hanging from my balcony. Toodles!
Feb 22, 2009 at 1:53 am rating: 1
#37
georgie
Psshhttt! why you got to blame de houzekeeeper? Mmmhmmm! (snap!snap!snap!snap!)
Feb 22, 2009 at 4:05 pm rating: 0
#38
shel2u
I love the total PA phrase of “by mistake.” How could anyone take 24 white bath towels “by mistake?” Oh, of course… it was someone’s housekeeper. They are so incredibly stupid that they don’t recognize white towel after white towel coming out of the dryer. I can see the dumb housekeeper now, scratching her head and wondering how the darks she put in the dryer became whites. Psssht!
Feb 25, 2009 at 6:24 pm rating: 0
#39
Yelena
Who would take twenty-four towels by mistake?
Mar 12, 2009 at 3:08 am rating: 0
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