juan in brampton, ontario wasn’t persuasive enough to convince his girlfriend, kat, to skip work and go to her own surprise party. his friends were…not so happy.
meanwhile, sam’s best friend baked this for her husband after he re-arranged the living room early in the morning without telling her, resulting in some seriously bruised shins. “what’s even meaner,” sam says? “she can’t cook. the cake probably tastes, well…bitter.”
still hungry for more? sharrin in san diego, sam in daytona beach, and of course, cakewrecks have documented plenty more examples of sugar-coated hostility floating around the interwebs.
and then there’s my personal favorite (again, straight out of the michael scott playbook):
related: “i don’t need a birthday cake,” i said.
extra credit: passive aggressive cakes [cakewrecks.blogspot.com]
78 responses so far ↓
#1
Jessica
For Teen Pregnancy cake: Gosh, how did you know my first craving would be cake?!
And for the Death one: Well if my obesity is that much of a joke to you, this will definitely ease the pain because I’m not sharing!
Feb 22, 2009 at 2:07 am rating: +11
#2
navin r johnson
you know i have to say i come to this site expecting an ironic grin and headshake before clicking elsewhere but
i fucking laughed out loud at this post
THANK YOU GOODNIGHT
Feb 22, 2009 at 2:14 am rating: +3
#3
Strepsi
This post made me lol.
But Juan is ALSO an idiot for leaving out the most intriguing detail of the cake: who is this Fishie? Why is she sharing Kat’s birthday? Are they twins? If Kat is short for Katherine, what the hell is Fishie’s name short for? Please Juan, for the love of god tell us!
P.P.S. If the cake wasn’t iced until after they knew she wouldn’t show, and they finished it anyway, isn’t that doubly passive-aggressive?
Feb 22, 2009 at 2:23 am rating: +10
#4
notthemarimba
That last cake is terrifying. No surprise fisting?
Feb 22, 2009 at 2:25 am rating: +28
#5
JessAnn
http://twitpic.com/156ap <–will still be my favorite cake ever.
Feb 22, 2009 at 2:28 am rating: +1
#6
Canthz_B
I often offer young teen girls cake, but that’s as a prelude to getting them pregnant.
It’s getting harder and harder to find one that falls for the lost puppy story.
Feb 22, 2009 at 3:01 am rating: +7
#7
Canthz_B
When I get to work Monday I’m grabbing the first female ass I see.
I can’t wait to be presented with my cake (and fruit)!
Feb 22, 2009 at 3:08 am rating: +5
#8
Canthz_B
Taking a picture of your own “Nobody Loves You” cake on your lap pretty much confirms that you’re alone at the time, but at least the folks that don’t love you like you enough to send a cake!
Feb 22, 2009 at 3:12 am rating: +4
#9
Jinx
That “Death is closer than ever” sentiment is PERFECT for birthdays! It’s so true!
LOL @ black chocolate chips on the “Fuck you” cake! Soo Goth!
Feb 22, 2009 at 4:08 am rating: 0
#10
Cam
Cake wrecks has a ‘passive agressive cake’ on its front page, you have this. I love the crossover! Moar pls.
Feb 22, 2009 at 8:22 am rating: 0
#11
jo
Oh my! My two favorite blogs collide. I love it.
Cake Wrecks is a daily laugh.
Feb 22, 2009 at 8:31 am rating: +3
#12
Canthz_B
The chick on the sexual harassment cake was asking for it. What, with the sexy Olive Oyl hairdo and all, did she expect a man to do?
Feb 22, 2009 at 10:29 am rating: +4
#13
Canthz_B
So, if an idiot fucks you, you could end up pregnant, possibly you’ll die during child birth, but even though you’re pretty, nobody loves you because you filed a sexual harassment suit.
Feb 22, 2009 at 10:35 am rating: +12
#14
pilgrimchick
I had never really considered the possibilities of telling someone just how you feel about them with confectionary.
Feb 22, 2009 at 1:13 pm rating: +2
#15
secondsout
I think dude had the “fuck you” cake coming. For one thing, he should know better than to rearrange furniture without consulting the woman. She’s bound to have an opinion that conflicts with yours, and you’ll just have to redo it anyway. Second, you intentionally rearranged the furniture without her out of spite. Finally, if you had waited until she was awake, she could have helped move the furniture. The cake probably has ex-lax in it.
Feb 22, 2009 at 3:40 pm rating: +10
#16
Canthz_B
The SH cake looks like he’s using a Taser. You can see she’s jumped about a foot off the ground.
Feb 22, 2009 at 4:11 pm rating: +2
#17
Woman on the Verge
I’m inspired… yet pissed off. I think I’ll get out my CakePANs right now.
Feb 22, 2009 at 4:14 pm rating: +4
#18
aaa
I’m just disappointed that there hasn’t been a “Happy Birthday Fuckface!” cake yet. :/
Feb 22, 2009 at 5:22 pm rating: 0
#19
Girl Friday
Perfectly applicable:
That cake was fucking delicious.
Feb 22, 2009 at 6:47 pm rating: +4
#20
mamason
It could’ve been worse. There could’ve been a, “congratulations on your decision to have unprotected, premarital sex and then an abortion!” cake.
Feb 22, 2009 at 7:03 pm rating: 0
#21
Nick
hahahaha teen pregnancy is totally cake-worthy
Feb 22, 2009 at 7:57 pm rating: 0
#22
Canthz_B
Mistletoe penii shouldn’t be used when attempting to discourage sexual harassment.
Feb 22, 2009 at 8:15 pm rating: +4
#23
kaytlun
My question is what kind of idiot friends plan a party for when someone is supposed to be at work?
Feb 22, 2009 at 10:30 pm rating: +4
#24
you suck at craigslist
I love the “At Least You’re Pretty” cake. My husband always tells me, “At least you’re cute,” whenever I do anything absent-minded (which is fairly regularly).
I just showed him that cake and told him I want one for my birthday. (I got him a cake last year that said “Nom Nom Nom” on it.)
Feb 22, 2009 at 11:18 pm rating: +1
#25
juan from brampton
fishie is the nickname for this girl fellaine.
and the story is that she didn’t work for weeks and was complaining about being broke, so i casually told her about a get together involving karaoke and she went to work instead.
the result is the cake.
Feb 23, 2009 at 12:42 am rating: +4
#26
Kat -- the one with the idiot bf
Yes, that was quite a sad day for me…. having to work while people were celebrating MY birthday. (Well mine and fellaine — her bf was a bit better at getting her there)
Here’s the story:
I work at the hospital and I have an on-call position. I get called in to work and I can either refuse or take the shift. My BFs excuse to get me to my friend’s house for this party was to hang out and sing karaoke… we ALWAYS go to this guy’s house sooooo I figured it was just a normal day and I could bail. I took my shift and he had to explain it to our friends and they retaliated through this cake…
Feb 23, 2009 at 12:50 am rating: +4
#27
Agent Inspired
Okay, seriously, these cakes are awesome. I scrolled down to the “Death is closer than ever” cake and nearly bust a gut.
…I actually want that on my next birthday cake.
Feb 23, 2009 at 6:18 am rating: 0
#28
yello.cape.cod
I have both this blog and Cake Wrecks in my RSS reader. When I saw a cake in the message body I assumed I was reading a CW post and was so confused to find Jen quoting her own blog. It took me like 3 minutes to figure out. Duh!
Feb 23, 2009 at 8:06 am rating: 0
#29
TPS
4chan
Feb 23, 2009 at 10:50 am rating: 0
#30
Bernd das Brot
At least somebody made a cake!
Feb 24, 2009 at 11:19 am rating: +2
#31
sedat
wow pretty cakes, nice messages, thanks for great pics
Mar 2, 2009 at 8:44 am rating: 0
#32
Snippy
Parting pastries…
[http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/03/parting-is-such-sweet-sorrow.html]
… and frosted farewells, but no gooey goodbyes.
Mar 5, 2009 at 6:00 pm rating: 0
#33 but a mother’s love is the best gift of all…right?
[...] related: when a card just won’t do [...]
Jul 29, 2009 at 10:26 pm rating: 0
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