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Southern California: it’s hard out here for a goth

February 24th, 2009 · 68 comments

Jennifer in Echo Park admits that she stole this note under the cover of night — she found it stuck with silver electrical tape to the back of a battered electrician’s work truck — BUT, she contends, “I would never ever steal someone’s leather pants (out of their truck). I am not a monster.”

To the thief who stole my leather pants out of my truck: those were very sentimental to me and you will never know their value. So please put them back.

Meanwhile, Sam in Pomona snapped this photo at the local Wal-Mart. Will this persecution never end?!

Attn: Customers please ask for assistance for black eyeliner. Thank You [IT'S BECAUSE YOU STEAL]

related: I know where she lives

FILED UNDER: California · guilt trip · Los Angeles · retail hell · stealing

68 responses so far ↓

  • #1   sonny bishop

    Was the note stolen before the person it was intended for had a chance to read it? I find this offensive. If that is the case, you are a monster. I now find it hard to believe you didn’t steal the pants, but if someone else stole the pants they will now believe it went unoticed. Monster, indeed.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 2:58 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Ti O bang

      The horror! The next day a note will be posted about the theft of the note about the theft of the leather pants in the electrician’s truck.
      Anyone up for a round?

      Feb 24, 2009 at 3:27 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

  • #2   QuarterRoy00 bang

    Attn: Wal-Mart please ask for assistance for grammar, punctuation, and spacing for typing signs.Thank You

    Feb 24, 2009 at 3:02 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   warinthepocket

      The font is horrendous, the line structure tears at my innermost being, the spacing makes me hurl.

      Feb 24, 2009 at 4:12 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Sirius bang

      We hire drooling neanderthals to create our loss prevention signs. We pay them subsistence wages, manipulate their work schedules so they won’t be considered full-time (and therefore benefit eligible), and we lock them in at night so they can scrub the floors. But we pass the savings on to you! :)

      Feb 24, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   unfortunate names

      it’s sad that i know this, it was just a high school job i swear, but the printers they use at walmart are based on some sort of 1970′s tech (green text monitors and all) with no formatting. I’m still surprised it was in understandable english.

      Feb 24, 2009 at 7:06 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   Girl Friday

      Making signs at Walmart – it’s so easy a caveman could do it.

      Feb 25, 2009 at 8:45 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   Julie

      unfortunate names is correct. Most of the time the associates making these signs are just trying to dash something off and get back onto the sales floor. It takes a bit of fussing with the formatting to get a sign that looks halfway decent (this is harder if you don’t have a lot of experience with computers to begin with).

      What I really want to see in this photo and can’t is how the eyeliner is secured. Do they have it in a locking case like the perfume? Are they keeping it in the back somewhere (seems like a lot of hassle)? I only want to know because the best would be if the HBA associates snuck over to Electronics and stole some of their locking peghooks. This happened in one of the stores I worked at once. I had to remind the girls in question that the merchandise they wanted to secure was packaged on cardboard backing so despite the lock, potential thieves could just rip the merchandise off of the hook.

      At any rate, for a lot of people asking someone to fetch their eyeliner from captivity would be more of a pain in the ass than the four dollars they would pay for it so I’m sure it won’t be long before their sales suffer and they put it back on the floor again.

      Feb 25, 2009 at 10:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   txBart

      I’d like to purchase a black toner cartridge, a copy of Wii Fit, and some black eyeliner please.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 10:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #3   mamason bang

    They must have been the leather pants he wore to his “coming out” party.

    I don’t think they’ve ever been cleaned since that night and still have the stain left by an anonomous donor. “Scent”imental indeed.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 3:03 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Ti O bang

      Mamason thanks for clearing that up I thought he said Sedimental as in there were many layers of “deposits” !

      Feb 24, 2009 at 3:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   mamason bang

      Damn… anonymous.

      *walks away muttering*

      Feb 24, 2009 at 3:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   anglophile bang

      I was thinking the real value was due to them containing the DNA of the president. We’ve all learned a lot from Monica’s savvy.

      Feb 24, 2009 at 3:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #4   Ti O bang

    The pants were sitting quietly by themselves in the passenger seat when they were taken.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 3:07 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   mamason bang

      out of
      my truck

      Feb 24, 2009 at 3:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Ti O bang

      :razz: :lol:
      I didn’t know you were an electrician Mama. :razz:

      Feb 24, 2009 at 3:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #5   Ti O bang

    Pomona seems pretty far from the normal habitue’ of the guyliner type of abuser.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 3:09 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Desuko.

      Back off, man! Pomona’s hardcore!

      Feb 24, 2009 at 5:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   chicananerd

      first of all, pomona definitely is hardcore. additionally, this eyeliner epidemic affects not only the goth community, but also the multitudes of “chola” women who rely on said eyeliner to draw in their eyebrows and line their lids. so, as you can see, this wal-mart issued restriction hits everyone. damn you yet again, wal-mart!

      Feb 24, 2009 at 7:31 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #6   J0sie

    Everytime I take my black eyeliner to Walmart with me all it does is complain about not being able to reach the black lipstick shelf. Usually I just ignore it’s needs and move onto the next department. Next time I’ll ask for some assistance for it.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 3:11 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #7   a;ex

    haha, that is hilarious about the eyeliner. The fact that it has gotten so bad that they had to remove it or whatever they did with it that required a sign is very interesting.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 3:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #8   JaneQue

    A battered electrician’s truck and leather pants conjures images of saggy buttcracks. He should consider this a favor.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 3:28 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   makelikeacouplet bang

      I agree, and Motorhead tshirts with cut-off sleeves. Perhaps a bleach stain or two.

      Feb 24, 2009 at 5:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Desuko.

      Since you put it that way, I can TOTALLY see why someone would covet the pants and want to steal them.

      Feb 24, 2009 at 5:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   fantasy bang

      It conjures up images of a down on his luck gypsy joker to me.

      Just using the old “electrician” guise to case houses and he’s mad for someone stealing his pants.

      I hear they have attachments to their pants that go back to the very beginning ritual initiation into the club.

      Something to do with piss if I remember right?

      Feb 24, 2009 at 6:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   TheOldSchool

      JaneQue, it’s always fascinating how people can interpret the same image in completely different ways.

      For me, “a battered electrician’s truck and leather pants” will be forever etched fondly into my soul as “those seemingly endless summer days cruising for well-built runaway teens in the meat-packing district with my Grandpa.”

      Grandpa could really reel them in; oftentimes willingly.

      Feb 24, 2009 at 9:10 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #9   mamason bang

    Well, of course I steal. I’m Goth. I smoke dope and complain about my parents and ditch school and talk about how different and unique I am while huddled in a basement somewhere with all my other misfit friends wearing our almost identical Goth uniforms. That doesn’t leave much time for job hunting, does it? Though it’s not like anyone would hire me anyway because I refuse to conform. Society just doesn’t get me. So what if I’ve got more holes in my face than the local golf course? Don’t judge me, man.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 3:34 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Mishee bang

      they are unique.

      just like everyone else.

      Feb 24, 2009 at 4:15 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   Geek Goddess

      I’m not unique; don’t put me in that crowd.

      Feb 25, 2009 at 9:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #10   T.U.M.

    Never thought I’d cry, but when I zip my fly,
    I’m getting sentimental over pants.
    An inseam of thirty-two just thrills me through and through,
    I’m getting sentimental over pants.
    I thought I was happy, I could live without my leathers,
    Now I must admit, I’m barely keeping it together.
    Won’t you help me now, and just bring back my trou,
    `Cause I’m getting sentimental over pants.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   TheOldSchool

      And THAT, my darlings, is the true story of how the pea-hen got its feathers.

      Now, off to bed! The lot of you!

      Feb 25, 2009 at 2:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #11   claw71 bang

    Sentimental value? Does that mean Robert Smith left a pecker trail on them?

    Feb 24, 2009 at 3:55 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #12   claw71 bang

    Proper self-loathing goths don’t do WalMart. Proper self-loathing goths also don’t do Pomona. Nope, this is clearly the work of goth wannabes who think that stealing eyeliner from WalMart is symbolic of their disdain for corporate America. They’d steal from their mothers but it’s so hard to find her black eyeliner with the glare coming off the blue eyeshadow in the bedroom.

    It’s important to point out, however, that this is not the work of emo punks. Emos might very well steal black eyeliner but they’d probably cut themselves too and I don’t see any signs of disenfranchised blood.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 4:07 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Kelly

      How does blood become disenfranchised??

      Damn you, let the blood vote already! Stop the oppression of poor, voiceless blood!

      Feb 25, 2009 at 4:14 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #13   lightspeed

    To the thief who stole my leather pants out of my truck: you suck and I may bind and gag you with this electrical tape, but please don’t return the pants as I sure as hell don’t want them back now.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 4:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #14   makelikeacouplet bang

    Do you mean to imply that there hasn’t yet been a massive goth migration to Forks, Washington?

    I thought for sure that it would have happened by now …

    Feb 24, 2009 at 4:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Randy

      Fricken Forks, WA.

      It’s about as an imaginative novel setting as Centerville, IA. Hell, the least she could’ve done is call it Sporks, WA to cater to the “ZOMG SPORKS RULE!” crowd, most of which read her shitty books.

      Take the goths to Seattle. Let em loose. See what happens.

      Feb 24, 2009 at 6:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   tinkerbell2

      ahh, leave the Goths alone, I think they’re sweet. and I’m sure they love to be patronised by wise-ass 30-somethings..

      Feb 25, 2009 at 8:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   makelikeacouplet bang

      First of all, I am a wise-ass 20-something.

      Secondly, as I recall from my high school days, there was nothing that the teenaged goth crowd loved more than to patronize the 30-years-old-and-above crowd.

      I mean, if you make your coffin, you’ve got to lie in it.

      Feb 25, 2009 at 4:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #15   amy d bang

    Why do leather pants need a valve? Hmmm, Maybe that’s what the note-writer meant about never knowing the pants valve.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 5:13 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   bellabeastie

      They’re Scent-mental. That’s where the valve comes in. sniff-blow-sniff-blow-sniff-blow…

      But now they’ve been stolen and it’s all for naught. sigh.

      Feb 24, 2009 at 8:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   Phalange

      I assume the it’s a simple sweat valve. Although I’ve never had leather pants grace this glorious lower body of mine, I assume they are quite hot and as such leave one with a case of either “swampass” or “puddlenuts”. Hence, a sweat release valve comes in handy to keep your buttocks and/or taint dry and perky.

      Feb 25, 2009 at 8:12 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #16   thrall38

    Perhaps they need assistance with the eyeliner not because they steal it but because they use it and put it back. Pinkeye anyone?

    Feb 24, 2009 at 7:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #17   TheOldSchool

    I stole your pants! They weren’t leather. They were Naugahyde!

    How crossed do the wires have to be to make you buy “faux pleather?”

    I’m so sick of all these miserly poser electricians that I feel like stripping my clothes off and squealing as loudly and incessantly as a freshly-birched school girl.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 7:53 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #18   Neeners

    If he’s that sentimental about those damn leather pants just think how melancholy the damn cow that gave them up is.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 8:26 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   TheOldSchool

      Cows don’t wear leather pants. (It’s a PETA thing.)

      Feb 24, 2009 at 8:55 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   aaa

      Cows only wear pants made out of casual acquaintances.

      Feb 24, 2009 at 11:46 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    As opposed to the leather pants stolen during his performance as a male stripper.
    Folks, if it’s tossed into the crowd, you can keep it. If it’s tossed on the stage, show restraint and leave it alone.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 9:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   TheOldSchool


      What if you’re sitting in the front row, and the stripper is making serious eye contact with you, then tosses you something, but it doesn’t quite reach you … landing instead at the edge of the stage, right in front of you?

      Feb 25, 2009 at 2:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   Canthz_B bang

      Why, then it’s every man for himself, TOS.
      Go for it!!! :lol:

      Feb 25, 2009 at 8:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #20   aaa

    Stealing leather pants does not make you a monster. Whoever swiped them was doing society a favor by keeping society’s fat asses out of those cow hide monstrosities. As long as the pants thief keeps his/her ass out of them, we’ll be hunky dory.

    Feb 24, 2009 at 11:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #21   WhatLarks

    The critical question: was the electrician (a) beaten up or (b) rolled in breadcrumbs?

    Feb 25, 2009 at 12:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #22   Holiday Djinn

    To whoever owns the P.O.S truck,

    Value? Value? Please tell me how a cum stained, crab-infested pair of pleather pants has any value. Seriously, the only reason I took them was to wipe my ass on my way home from the Bar last Friday. Now thanks to you I have friends crawling in MY pants. Next time keep your infected pants in your house, or I will turn your P.O.S truck, into a “Dump Truck”.

    Thank you,


    Feb 25, 2009 at 7:29 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #23   thebis4

    I’d say the person who stole the pants deserves a Nobel Peace prize, for we will never again have to lay our eyes on the hideousness that is a man in leather pants. Thief please step forward and claim your prize for the world is eternally grateful!

    Feb 25, 2009 at 8:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #24   Girl Friday

    All the goths and closet cross dressers in Pomona will be wearing brown eyeliner.

    “Brown is the new black!”

    Feb 25, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Ti O bang

      “Brown Eye liner”

      Feb 25, 2009 at 11:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #25   Meesh

    I don’t know why everyone is assuming that the PAN was written by a man. I’m picturing a sassy female electrician who prowls the gay clubs in hot leather pants searching for a box that has nothing to do with tools, if you catch my drift.

    Feb 25, 2009 at 9:44 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Ti O bang

      They usually drive Subaru’s. But I am not disagreeing with you on the hypothesis. Most men do not treat their vehicles like a second closet as females are wont to do.

      Feb 25, 2009 at 10:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.2   TheOldSchool

      Maybe the electrician is a closeted married fellow with SSA issues.

      His wife: “He works such long hours, it’s no wonder he’s always too tired for sex.”

      Feb 25, 2009 at 10:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.3   Monkeyspeaks

      HA! Ti-O. You mock my use of my car as my second closet – but who always has a sweater on hand in case of a sudden shift in temporature. Or has an extra tshirt for after you spill beer all over yourself… OR who has an extra pair of leather pants for you in case the ones you kept in YOUR car were stolen over night. I also have a pen and paper for when PAN hunters steal notes off of the car.

      in your face secondary closet hater!

      Feb 25, 2009 at 1:39 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #25.4   Ti O bang

      That is sooo true Monkey! I did look outstanding in you pink angora sweater when we went together to the Viper Room the other night.
      I shall never look askance at your mobile auto armoire again. :grin:

      I first read this as, using your car to get to your second closet. How many clothes do you have!? :shock:

      Feb 25, 2009 at 3:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #25.5   Monkeyspeaks

      I have cars parked all around Echo Park containing extra clothing.

      Feb 25, 2009 at 3:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #25.6   Monkeyspeaks

      And by the way, its all about Bigfoot Lodge – nothin spells a crazy friday night like the smell of vomit, stuffed bears and rock a billies everywhere!

      Feb 25, 2009 at 3:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #26   Monkeyspeaks

    Great. I live just outside Echo Park. Does that mean my leather pants are no longer safe in my car? Sheesh. If ya can’t keep your leather pants in your car at night, where can you keep them. Surely not my closet. I keep my GPS system and other car accessories in THERE. What is the world coming to.

    Feb 25, 2009 at 1:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #27   shel2u

    It looks like the note writer started the sign with the intent of using “hard edge 80′s metal” font. He/she only made it through the first line of text. As the note goes on, it seems he/she became more and more angry at the thought of someone stealing the treasured leather pants. By the end of the note, he/she is barely able to write O’s and A’s without an “angry scribble.” LMAO at this awesome and fully warranted PA stamp of approval.

    Feb 25, 2009 at 5:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #28   Jall-apeno

    Let’s see…”To the thief that stole my leather pants”…hmm, I better add “out of my truck…” yeah that’s better. I have to be clear about the right pair. I don’t want that dude that stole the other pair right off my drunk ass last Saturday to come back…no, definitely not. I still have some healing to do…

    Feb 25, 2009 at 7:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #29   Meesh

    I kid the Goths. Because… they’re Goths.

    Feb 27, 2009 at 8:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #30   WildCherryBomb

    Oh my. Did Nikki Sixx write the first one? I bet they were the pants he ‘died’ in…

    Apr 13, 2009 at 9:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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