Busted by Facebook

#1 Monkeyspeaks

Burl _ I really need to clean out the people I don’t like from this
Amy _ am i one of them?

Feb 25, 2009 at 4:52 pm rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#2 mamason bang

It’s situations like this that cause fairy godmothers to curse your children.

Feb 25, 2009 at 4:53 pm rating: 18 small thumbs up

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#3 Liz

my son got busted on facebook updating his status to ‘wagging school’ … he forgot he had added ‘Mum’ to his friends

Feb 25, 2009 at 4:54 pm rating: 51 small thumbs up

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#3.1 Andy

What in the hell is “waggin” and who the hell is this “Mum” I keep hearing about?

Perhaps you mean “Mom”?

Feb 25, 2009 at 5:39 pm rating: 13
#3.2 marlo

It is important to note that not every single person on the internet is American.

Feb 25, 2009 at 6:18 pm rating: 158
#3.3 mamason

What?

Feb 25, 2009 at 6:32 pm rating: 14
#3.4 Andy

Get the fuck out of here!

No, seriously, get the fuck out of here.

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:13 pm rating: 25
#3.5 aaa

You lie, marlo! Everyone’s American, goddammit! I mean, next thing you’re gonna be telling me is that people don’t all look the same and aren’t all the same religion. D:

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:14 pm rating: 25
#3.6 Canthz_B

But surely all of the married people on the internet are American, right?

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:08 pm rating: 3
#3.7 Andy

Oh no, it seems the internet bobby is after me!

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:56 pm rating: 5
#3.8 unfortunate names

We don’t say waggin here in Leightenup either

Feb 25, 2009 at 10:23 pm rating: 6
#3.9 PLS

Wagging is otherwise known as “playing hookey” or “skipping school”.
Generally it’s just not being present at your mandatory place of learning without permission.

Feb 25, 2009 at 11:41 pm rating: 6
#3.10 JR

WTF with “who the hell is this mum”, what do you want, some kind of “translation for the learning impaired”?

Feb 26, 2009 at 5:53 am rating: 39
#3.11 Boodie

*grin*

My youngest did that too on her DA account, posted about how she was wagging school, and seemed to forget that she has Mum listed as one of her friends.. and that Mum checks DA at least twice a day.

BUSTED!!

Feb 26, 2009 at 7:54 am rating: 4
#3.12 Canthz_B

Sounds like she can’t really afford to wag school, doesn’t it?

Feb 26, 2009 at 8:04 am rating: 13
#3.13 Racerx

Thank you so much for letting us all know what “wagging” meant. Us dumb Americans probably couldn’t have figured it out from the context.

Feb 27, 2009 at 12:34 am rating: 21
#3.14 PLS

always pleased to help!

Mar 1, 2009 at 8:28 pm rating: 2

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#4 Woman on the Verge bang

Burl is wondering why his friends who didn’t get invited don’t get the message.

Feb 25, 2009 at 4:56 pm rating: 37 small thumbs up

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#5 SuperMe

You want to go to a party thrown by a guy named Burl?

Feb 25, 2009 at 5:01 pm rating: 28 small thumbs up

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#5.1 mamason

Burl Ives throws rockin’ partys! Did you know that his invites are edible?

Feb 25, 2009 at 5:52 pm rating: 17
#5.2 cellardoor

Mamason … classic.

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:10 pm rating: 1
#5.3 Canthz_B

Burl Ives’ invites are also lavender blue…dilly, dilly…

Feb 26, 2009 at 12:47 am rating: 4
#5.4 Val

and he’ll take you to the ugly bug ball, to the ball, to the ball. And a happy time you’ll have there… one and all, at the ugly bug ball.

Feb 26, 2009 at 1:15 am rating: 4

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#6 Andy

Burl, I don’t know how your party is going to go, but I know how it’s going to end!

I can see it now: Amy and Nathan causing your guests to leave early and uncomfortably after they mention to each and every one of your guests how they were left off the invite list and the probable cause being the unfortunate incident earlier that month when they walked in on you masturbating to a picture of your high school basketball team.

Such a shame.

Lesson to learn here: Always, always remain on good terms with those privy to your masturbatory habits.

Feb 25, 2009 at 5:09 pm rating: 19 small thumbs up

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#7 Hope

I have learned (the hard way, unfortunately) that you should never mention any concrete party plans on facebook. Because someone always thinks that they should have been invited and gets all hurt. Even when it’s literally three friends coming over for dinner.

Feb 25, 2009 at 5:13 pm rating: 28 small thumbs up

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#7.1 Monkeyspeaks

I know, I was having a party with my dog and myself. Exceptional get together. We had fake tea and plastic cookies. And people were all like, dude, whats up – im all about fake tea and cookies.

Feb 25, 2009 at 5:55 pm rating: 62
#7.2 Woman on the Verge

Of course they got hurt. It was a concrete party, for God’s sake. I mean, really, who can eat concrete and not get hurt?

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:55 pm rating: 14
#7.3 matt

tough shit!
Nobody gets invited to every party going on. You would spend so much time going to parties you wouldn’t have time to live your own life. Get used to it people, sometimes life just isn’t fair and it’s not worth suing anybody over.

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:08 pm rating: 3
#7.4 Geek Goddess

Well if I was inviting three of my facebook friends to dinner, I might as well invite all four of my facebook friends. It’s not as if it’s a lot of extra work to cook for one more.

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:38 pm rating: 22

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#8 Hope

And yes, the guy who invited himself over because he thought that his invite “maybe got deleted by his spam filter” really did put a damper on things! :p

Feb 25, 2009 at 5:14 pm rating: 11 small thumbs up

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#9 Kate

I wouldn’t have called Emily back either. What a whiner.

Feb 25, 2009 at 5:43 pm rating: 13 small thumbs up

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#10 Andy

Emily bitches over something as simple as the order in which you choose to update your status and call back your friends. Something tells me she may just have a few more complaints to rehash when you call her back.

Hmm, why on earth would you delay calling her back? Weird.

Feb 25, 2009 at 5:50 pm rating: 17 small thumbs up

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#11 QuarterRoy00 bang

I don’t think Burl has to wonder anymore…me thinks the party will go badly…

Feb 25, 2009 at 6:05 pm rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#12 amoi

Are these Facebook people 14 or what?

Oh… oh, yes, I suppose they are.

Feb 25, 2009 at 6:07 pm rating: 11 small thumbs up

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#12.1 aaa

A good percentage of people don’t seem mature much after the age of 15. I bet these people are probably thirty and wondering why they haven’t had a relationship or a job that lasted longer than a month.

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:22 pm rating: 12
#12.2 Me

I think you’re thinking of myspace.

Apr 19, 2009 at 7:04 pm rating: 3

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#13 r.m.

Blur has friends on facebook, like Scott! Who is laughing because Blurs ex-girlfriend Amy is wondering why she wasn’t invited to the party.

Feb 25, 2009 at 6:22 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#13.1 Sirius

And Amy is also wondering when she became an ex-girlfriend. I’m guessing shortly before 3:10 pm.

Feb 25, 2009 at 6:33 pm rating: 2
#13.2 mamason

Who is Blur? It’s all a little fuzzy to me.

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:37 pm rating: 15
#13.3 Canthz_B

Inviting Amy to an “I’m finally free of Amy” themed party…Priceless.

Feb 25, 2009 at 8:35 pm rating: 13
#13.4 fluffy8u

Unless you count the price of balloons, streamers, and a cake that says “I’m breaking up with you, Amy. Sorry.”

Break up parties can get kind of expensive.

Feb 25, 2009 at 10:29 pm rating: 4

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#14 C

Could these people be more banal with their status updates?

“I wonder how my party’s gonna go!” Why bother posting about your vague speculation? I might wonder if I’m gonna get hit by a car tomorrow, but you won’t see me posting that online.

“I’m excited to watch Dancing with the Stars!” Why in God’s name would you admit that to anyone? Is there no shame anymore?

Feb 25, 2009 at 6:32 pm rating: 32 small thumbs up

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#14.1 Sirius

C is wondering why people can’t be more interesting with their status updates.

Feb 25, 2009 at 6:35 pm rating: 27
#14.2 leftfoot

Apparently C hasn’t heard of Twitter. I’m a a total addict, but if you want to talk about banality.. there’s the place to go.

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:35 pm rating: 3
#14.3 Canthz_B

At least they tell you up front that it’s populated by twits.

Feb 25, 2009 at 8:37 pm rating: 31
#14.4 tinkerbell2

C, I’m thinking Facebook may not be for you.

Feb 26, 2009 at 8:07 am rating: 4
#14.5 amoi

I have friends (real-life friends!) on FB whose banal status updates make me itch to write something bitchy in response, like, “OMG, could you possibly be any LESS interesting?” etc.

*sigh* I am full of pent-up FB frustration. Maybe that’s why I come here.

Feb 26, 2009 at 3:05 pm rating: 5
#14.6 Kimberly

ANY status updates are better than my friend’s vomit inducing “misses his smell when he is just across the room”.

Feb 27, 2009 at 12:50 pm rating: 6

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#15 Julie

Julie thinks those are fake, because of all the d@mned butterflies.

Feb 25, 2009 at 6:43 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#15.1 mamason

Mamason thinks that all the d@mned butterflies are the equivilent of pixelation, used to protect Nathan, Amy, Scott and Emily’s identities.

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:05 pm rating: 16
#15.2 aaa

Well, as we all know, Kerry has never used clever clip art instead of pixelation before. Never ever.

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:15 pm rating: 4
#15.3 Andy

Andy thinks he, too, was fooled by this substitute for pixelation in the past.

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:16 pm rating: 4
#15.4 Chinchillazilla

Rebecca thinks that you should just type out the word “damned”.

Feb 25, 2009 at 10:00 pm rating: 20

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#16 mamason bang

Don’t we all have at least one friend like Emily? You know the one, who every time you call spends at least 5 minutes whining about the fact that you don’t call often enough. Oh wait… that’s Mom. never mind

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:12 pm rating: 8 small thumbs up

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#16.1 Andy

Eh hem: “Mum”.

Not every single person on the internet is American!

Feb 25, 2009 at 8:33 pm rating: 19
#16.2 Freca

Speaking of which, the internet called. It says you failed.

Feb 25, 2009 at 8:58 pm rating: 37
#16.3 matt

16.1 you forgot mama

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:12 pm rating: 0
#16.4 Andy

Seriously? Speaking of failure, you might as well have said I was fucking delicious.

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:14 pm rating: 8
#16.5 Canthz_B

Not to be confused with “Mammy”.

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:48 pm rating: 7

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#17 se

Burl is wondering how the party is going to go at his house tonight because he wasn’t invited.

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:12 pm rating: 17 small thumbs up

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#17.1 Geek Goddess

Last time there was a party at my house, nobody told me. It was a surprise party for me.

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:40 pm rating: 2

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#18 aaa

Have Amy, Nathan, and Emily truly never heard of the concept of second-tier friends?

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:18 pm rating: 15 small thumbs up

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#19 Kevin bang

Phone-Dis(s) Rule #1: If I don’t call you back, it’s because I don’t want to talk to you.

Feb 25, 2009 at 7:44 pm rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#19.1 Monkeyspeaks

Phone-Dis(s) Rule #2: If I don’t respond to your insistent texting, its because I don’t want to talk to you

Feb 25, 2009 at 8:50 pm rating: 5
#19.2 graphicandnovel

Phone-Dis(s) Rule #3: If I don’t respond to your calls or txts or e-mails, it means you should stop stalking me. Stalker.

Feb 27, 2009 at 9:56 am rating: 3

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#20 Andy

Burl is smacking is head against the wall for forgetting Amy and Nathan are on facebook and spoiling their surprise party.

Feb 25, 2009 at 8:35 pm rating: 12 small thumbs up

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#21 Julie

Julie got schooled by mamason!
Awesome.

Feb 25, 2009 at 8:47 pm rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#22 cellardoor

Yea, my (alleged) BFF who has been MIA (ha!) and hasn’t returned any phone calls finally surfaced only to write a snarky comment on my wall. I say: FU. Oh, and I guess she doesn’t want to be fwends …

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:12 pm rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#23 cellardoor

Yea, my (alleged) BFF who has been MIA (ha!) and hasn’t returned any phone calls finally surfaced only to write a snarky comment on my wall. I say: FU. Oh, and I guess she doesn’t want to be fwends …

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:12 pm rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#24 cellardoor

Yea, that’s me, spazzin’ …

Feb 25, 2009 at 9:13 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#24.1 Chinchillazilla

Yea, verily have I noticed that you start your sentences with “Yea”.

Feb 25, 2009 at 10:04 pm rating: 13
#24.2 mamason

Yea. I noticed that too.

Feb 26, 2009 at 4:16 pm rating: 1

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#25 morpho aurora bang

wait a minute, it’s not friday

amy & nathan just let the whole world know not only are they pathetic and unwanted, they are also whiny little twits. oh yeah, that’s gonna them a lot of attention.
then again, this is facebook, where whining seems to be the universal language.

Feb 25, 2009 at 10:46 pm rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#26 mew

Emily, Emily, Emily….stalking someone on the internet and pouncing on them literally TWO minutes after they show their presence by updating their status, is a surefire way to NEVER get that callback…but I GUARANTEE Dana is calling the REST of her friends letting them know what a psycho you are.

Feb 26, 2009 at 12:55 am rating: 11 small thumbs up

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#26.1 TheOldSchool

I agree with mew.

Emily, what you did is the seafaring equivalent of blowing bubbles at an agitated otter.

Oh sure, you may get away with it a few times, but the day will one arrive when that otter surprises you by quickly slapping away your bubble-blowing equipment with one swipe of his muscular flippers, and then mounts your shoulders before making slow, sweet, sensual love to the lower portion of your face.

Emily, you’ve been issued your final warning. Otter semen is one of those tastes that can’t be rinsed sway.

Feb 26, 2009 at 1:50 am rating: 12
#26.2 mamason

ROTFLMAO

Feb 26, 2009 at 4:24 pm rating: 0
#26.3 Commentator

TOS wrote: “Otter semen is one of those tastes that can’t be rinsed away.”

I’m sure you know that only because you read it somewhere, right? Right?

Mar 2, 2009 at 4:57 pm rating: 2

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#27 Cady

This reminds me of a time in college when I worked for the school newspaper. One of our reporters said he was gravely ill and had to go home for a couple weeks. We told him no problem, go home, recuperate and you can have your job back when you return. However, once he got home, he threw a party, which he publicized heavily on MySpace. No job for him.

Feb 26, 2009 at 1:52 pm rating: 9 small thumbs up

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#28 Meesh

This is exactly why I eschew FaceBook. It seems to attract people who need constant validation. I’m not talking about all you lovely folks, of course.

Feb 27, 2009 at 8:46 am rating: 4 small thumbs up

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#28.1 mamason

“eschew” …

Kazundhite!

Feb 27, 2009 at 11:37 am rating: 3

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#29 5Dman

you know on FB, it’s advisable to be cautious on what you type, such as your status. for instance:

I apologize to the ladies and gents for being so random today but guess what, i’m going home.
–
some ppl thought i was pissed, some thought i was emo but i guess text alone is not enough to figure out the intonation.

i should have type:

He smiled sarcastically “I apologize to the ladies and gents for being so random today but guess what, i’m going home.”

Mar 4, 2009 at 8:18 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#29.1 julian

…Did that make sense?

Mar 16, 2009 at 2:16 am rating: 4

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#30 hgj

This is why Facebook is a stupid, evil and pointless website ever. The amount of arguments I have seen erupt from provokative status updates is just ridiculous.

And yanks should learn they aren’t the only people on the web.

Apr 7, 2009 at 7:14 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#30.1 park rose

hgj needs to:

- learn how to spell
- learn how to match countable nouns with countable quantifiers
- learn how to nest
- learn how to recognise humour when it bites him (?) on the arse.

Apr 7, 2009 at 7:56 pm rating: 7
#30.2 subito

We Yanks aren’t the only ones on the web….just the only ones that matter.

Apr 7, 2009 at 11:58 pm rating: 1
#30.3 Canthz_B

“Yanks”…it’s so cute when people talk like the script from a WWII movie!

Apr 8, 2009 at 1:24 am rating: 0