Our submitter is Santa Fe says not everyone at the New Mexico Department of Health was happy when the folks in charge decided to call their own bullshit and replace the candy and sodas in the vending machine with new “healthy” snacks.
(There is still a “junk food” vending machine in the building just one flight up, our submitter notes, but dammit if the boss man is gonna force full-grown adults to exercise!)
related: Blame it on Coke
97 responses so far ↓
#1
MAMARILLA2
Its the real thing…
I had a dream once where I had to buy real hostess from a corner dealer..Its not much easier to authenticate real hostess than it is to authenticate real meth.
Feb 26, 2009 at 11:58 am rating: 6
#2
Jennie
Judging by the handwriting the little side note was written in, someone’s had too much real coke… What the hell is up with the last word?
~Jennie
Feb 26, 2009 at 12:07 pm rating: 2
#3
Nikki
The best part of it all is that there’s evidence that suggests that diet sodas are actually worse for you than ‘real’ sodas.
I hate when I go to a restaurant and order a coke and the server brightly suggests, “Diet?
And no, I’m not at all overly squishy. They just assume that because I’m a girl I want nasty diet soda.
Feb 26, 2009 at 12:12 pm rating: 37
#4
Holiday Djinn
I am pretty sure cocaine is illegal in New Mexico. However, one can always wish eh?
Feb 26, 2009 at 12:12 pm rating: 0
#5
warinthepocket
Underlining italics, doesn’t that negate it’s emphases? So, he really wants fake coke – after all, who can afford the real stuff in this economy?
Feb 26, 2009 at 12:14 pm rating: 2
#6
claw71
Considering that my health insurance premium went up 40% this year thanks to the diabetic fatties who belly up to the vending machine six times a day for Funyons, Twinkies and 20 once bottles of high fructose corn syrup, I would love it if my employer replaced the unhealthy junk in our machines with slightly healthier alternatives. Hell, I wish they’d disable the elevators and force the herd to break a healthy sweat. You know, as opposed to the unhealthy sweat they all break into when they’re pooping.
It’s not like there’s a law against bringing your own stuff to work anyway. I don’t like the shitty Maxwell House coffee my employer provides as a courtesy but instead of bitching, moaning and posting notes about it, I grind my own beans in the morning and avail myself of the convenience my French press mug provides. And because everybody knows that the office coffee snob doesn’t drink the company swill, I’m excluded from the coffee machine cleaning schedule. Yay me!
I was also bummed when the vendor replaced my favorite Nature Valley granola bars with some awful chocolate dipped Keebler creation, so I went down to the local Kroger and bought my own damned snacks. Coincidentally, my granola bars are always fresh, intact and I’m saving about 30 cents per bar. By the end of the week that’s at least an extra $3.00 I can stuff into G-strings at Columbus Gold. That’s change I can believe in and I’m stimulating more than the economy.
Feb 26, 2009 at 12:16 pm rating: 82
#7
amy d
I AM A FULL GROWN ADULT!
who is too lazy to walk up the stairs.
I ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY CHOICES!
And I want the immediate gratification of a “real” vending machine right in front of my face.
Feb 26, 2009 at 12:24 pm rating: 29
#8
Mishee
Full grown adult?
As opposed to a half grown adult?
Feb 26, 2009 at 12:27 pm rating: 13
#9
C
This full-grown adult sure sounds whiny. Can’t he/she bring in their own damn cans of Coca-Cola? It’s cheaper. Pack a mini-Igloo and save a buck (and a walk).
Feb 26, 2009 at 12:35 pm rating: 7
#10
zenvelo
I guess by asking for the HFCS -filled Coke, he doesn’t consider himself fully grown enough, another fifty pounds ought to do it…
(and you just know it’s a “he”)
Feb 26, 2009 at 1:08 pm rating: 7
#11
Bernd das Brot
I WANT BACONNAISE!
Feb 26, 2009 at 1:14 pm rating: 18
#12
Brad
Why not Pepsi? Where is the love for Pepsi? I WANT REAL PEPSI!
Feb 26, 2009 at 1:39 pm rating: 7
#13
Kyle
I’m a Man! I’m Forty! I’m not a Kid!
Feb 26, 2009 at 1:48 pm rating: 3
#14
fluffy8u
Ladies and gentlemen, we at Coke have found our new slogan: “I want a real Coke!”
Feb 26, 2009 at 2:21 pm rating: 1
#15
Dennis N.
And this sign is placed right in front of some HPV pamphlets? This office space is getting more and more unseemly by the minute.
Feb 26, 2009 at 2:51 pm rating: 19
#16
aaa
If you’re a full grown adult, then why are you relying on somebody else to supply your full-sugar sodas and junk food? Accept responsibility for your choices and buy your junk food at the Walgreen’s before you get to work.
Feb 26, 2009 at 4:38 pm rating: 10
#17
Neeners
The US Dept of Agriculture has added a new food group to the foodguide pyramid. The bottom level now lists sugar, fat, salt, alcohol tobacco, and drugs as proper nutrition for those nutrition savvy adults who take total responsibility for their choices.
Hello people, it’s the Dept of Health. Go get your Little Debbie’s and coke at the Wal Mart vending machine or the welfare office vending machine.
Feb 26, 2009 at 4:39 pm rating: 3
#18
makelikeacouplet
Why can’t Diet Coke get any love? There is nothing more fantastic than actually TASTING the cancer you’ll eventually be afflicted with.
Feb 26, 2009 at 4:44 pm rating: 16
#19
aaa
Want a “real” Coke? Get the Mexican Coke of the grocery’s foreign section that has real sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup. ‘Cuz it won’t give you so much diabetes and doesn’t, y’know, taste like shit.
Feb 26, 2009 at 4:49 pm rating: 7
#20
GhostWriter
Not just a real Coke.
I want a doobie as well!
Feb 26, 2009 at 5:03 pm rating: 3
#21
Ceed
Am I the only person who doesn’t like other people policing my health choices for me? I’m not really on the side of the note writer either (fucking go upstairs already!), but there are many ideas out there about what is healthy (diet soda?? really???) and what isn’t healthy and I just wish everyone would mind their own business.
I might be cranky because I am surrounded by people on weird diets who want to lecture me about random shit like how it’s bad that I cook my food or that I need to go on detoxes to cleanse by guts out. I have a liver to do that for me, thanks.
(For the record I have always hated how soda tastes and always drink water. Not for health reasons either — I just like it the best.)
Feb 26, 2009 at 5:58 pm rating: 19
#22
Canthz_B
He’s lucky to work with people who will advise him to go upstairs to the snack room.
Most people would have advised him to go down to a place considerably lower.
Feb 26, 2009 at 11:47 pm rating: 4
#23
J
‘healthy’ heh.
the artificial sweeteners in diet softdrinks are much worse for you than mere refined sugar.
Feb 27, 2009 at 12:28 am rating: 3
#24
Canthz_B
If this guy would try some of the healthy snacks offered at his job, perhaps he wouldn’t feel so full.
Feb 27, 2009 at 12:57 am rating: 2
#25
Kevin
You know, if you’re the kind of guy who can’t walk upstairs to get a snack, then you’re probably the kind of guy who *needs* to walk upstairs to get a snack.
Feb 27, 2009 at 1:22 am rating: 9
#26
TheOldSchool
Today’s H2Ohhhh Thirst 4 Knowledge Quencher:
The planet Saturn is so lacking in density that, if placed in water, it would float.
When it comes to being dense, we can run rings around Saturn.
Feb 27, 2009 at 1:49 am rating: 5
#27
BaronVonTrinken
In Germany we had beer in our barracks Coke machine.
Feb 27, 2009 at 10:57 am rating: 7
#28
TPS
Our company vending machine had a suggestion sheet taped to the front of it. Half of the suggestions were versions of “MORE HEALTHY SNACKS”. The rest of us wrote more useful items such as Vicodin and tampons.
Feb 27, 2009 at 11:20 am rating: 11
#29
Danyell
I think it’s funny when diet sodas are confused with healthy drinks. Like artificial sweeteners are healthy? Nutrasweet – anyone? And I don’t trust that Splenda one bit.
Feb 28, 2009 at 1:28 am rating: 5
#30
replease
That laziness was fucking delicious.
Feb 28, 2009 at 3:26 pm rating: 0
#31
Arch
Whats with all the HPV booklets?? O_o!
Mar 4, 2009 at 4:14 pm rating: 0
#32 nutranot-so-sweet
[...] related: the real thing [...]
Jul 27, 2009 at 9:23 pm rating: 0
#33 Warning: Take my last Diet Coke from the fridge and I WILL cut you. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: Enough with the diet sodas! [...]
May 13, 2011 at 8:56 am rating: 0
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