Entries from February 2009

When a card just won’t do

February 22nd, 2009 · 80 Comments

Juan in Brampton, Ontario wasn’t persuasive enough to convince his girlfriend, Kat, to skip work and go to her own surprise party. His friends were…not so happy.

Happy Birthday Fishie & Kat  P.S. Juan is an idiot

Meanwhile, Sam’s best friend baked this for her husband after he re-arranged the living room early in the morning without telling her, resulting in some seriously bruised shins. “What’s even meaner,” Sam says? “She can’t cook. The cake probably tastes, well…bitter.”

FUCK YOU

Still hungry for more? Sharrin in San Diego, Sam in Daytona Beach, and of course, Cakewrecks have documented plenty more examples of sugar-coated hostility floating around the interwebs.

Congrats on your teen pregnancy

Death is closer than ever

At least you're pretty

Nobody loves you

And then there’s my personal favorite (again, straight out of the michael scott playbook):

Sexual harassment cake

related: “I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.
extra credit: passive aggressive cakes [cakewrecks.blogspot.com]

Tags: birthday · cake · Canada · more aggressive than passive · Ontario · p.s.

Oh, sure, blame it on the housekeeper

February 20th, 2009 · 73 Comments

Says Corrine in Los Angeles: “I walked into my friends’ building and saw these posted ALL OVER.” (Trifling much?)

Did someone's housekeeper take my 2 DOZEN white bath towels from the top dryer by mistake? PLEASE return to Paula #101!

related: come get some

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · excessive underlining · laundry · Los Angeles · stealing

You seem like really nice people.

February 19th, 2009 · 155 Comments

Lately, our anonymous submitter in New York has been going to the HousingWorks cafe to study for the bar exam. Because tables near electrical outlets are hot commodities, for the past few days she’s ended up sharing a table with the same “over-the-hill dude.”

Our submitter knows her table-sharing etiquette: “I always keep the table free of clutter and I don’t chat loudly,” she says. Yesterday, however, while catching up with a friend who dropped by the cafe, her tablemate interrupted to hand her this note, said, “This is for you,” and left.

You two seem like really nice people. You really do. But please don't sit with me every again. Thank you.

Adds our submitter: “I don’t know which is more irritating, the fact that this douchebag told me not to ever sit with him again, or that that he felt the need to write it down and couch it in oh-so-polite phrases.”

related: An official declaration of the silent treatment

Tags: New York · the big "but"

No, it’s not passive-aggressive

February 18th, 2009 · 114 Comments

…but this nail salon’s signage — photographed by Faye in Miami — is just too incredible not to share.

QT NAILS & SPA: Professionally Done By Asians QT NAILS & SPA: Professionally Done By Asians

related: Why I hate Miami, exhibit a

extra credit: Why are so many nail salons owned by Asians, anyway? [businessweek.com]

Tags: Florida · Miami · oh no you didn't · tangent time

Maybe if you had just an itty-bitty limp?

February 17th, 2009 · 342 Comments

First of all, the disclaimer: Our anonymous submitter in Houston lives in an apartment complex with very limited parking for residents. “When I come home from work late at night,” she explains, “the handicapped parking spot is typically the only one available.” That excuse, however, doesn’t seem to cut it for one of her neighbors.

As you’ll see from the note left on our submitter’s windshield, this eagle-eyed neighbor perhaps isn’t what you’d call “book-smart,” but — gosh darn it — what she lacks in basic spelling and grammar skills she more than makes up for with raw gumption and a steely sense of self-righteousness!

To my horror, you don't have a single bit of a limp.

[Rough translation, from our anonymous submitter: "I see that you are not handicapped, but you park in the handicapped parking spot in our apartment complex. I am not handicapped, and I don't know anyone in the complex who is, but I feel entitled to tell you to stop parking there.  Furthermore, I feel entitled enough to have your car towed if you park there again."]

related: Mahvelous, just mahvelous

Tags: "helpful" advice · Houston · kinda creepy · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · parking · smiley · Texas · that's illegal

Fiesta suspendida

February 16th, 2009 · 85 Comments

Túlio in Buenos Aires brings us this note, photographed by his amiga Ana, on the occasion of Ricky’s 49th birthday. (His party was canceled, you see, due to a lack of cooperación.)

[Roughly translated: PARTY SUSPENDED for want of friends' cooperation... (We'll see you at the 50th)]

“It’s sad and funny at the same time,” Túlio writes, to which I’d have to respond, “.”

PARTY SUSPENDED for want of friends' cooperation...  (We'll see you at the 50th) Ricky

related: You know, I’m getting input here that I’m reading as relatively hostile

Tags: birthday · Buenos Aires · Espanol · it's my party

He’s just not that into unicorns

February 15th, 2009 · 97 Comments

Two target customers for Lisa Frank’s new line of movie tie-in stickers — coming soon to the Hot Topic/Urban Outfitters near you!

Dear Tyler, I painted you a valentine turtle and you said you would meet me earlier so I could give it to you, but YOU LIED! So, I am taping it to your door. Happy Valentine's day!  I don't think we should see each other any more.  Love, Molly!

(Above, from Colorado. Below, from California.)

Amor,  I'm really disappointed in you. You are not my better half instead my Bitter Half!

related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss
extra credit: The legend of Casey™ and Caymus™

Tags: California · college life · Colorado · heart · nice stationery · rainbow-colored · sig o · signed with love · spurned lover

Happy Valentine’s Day from Passive-Aggressive Notes!

February 13th, 2009 · 68 Comments

Here’s to crass commercialism!

happy valentine's day from passive-aggressive notes!

(And kisses to Jennie and her boarding school bud Michelle for the Valentine!)

Tags: heart · Valentine's Day

A little advice for the ladies

February 12th, 2009 · 101 Comments

…courtesy of the hapless young lads of North America.

As documented by Kimberlee in Lawrence, Kansas:

a little advice for the ladies

And by Grant in Toronto, Canada:

yeah, women! seriously!

Happy breakup season, everyone!

related: Some dating advice

Tags: "helpful" advice · attire · battle of the sexes · Canada · Kansas · kinda creepy · Toronto

A trivial mistake

February 11th, 2009 · 46 Comments

Cate and her brother play trivia at a bar in Seattle once or twice a month, and Cate’s brother usually invites Shelby, a friend from college. Last week, he “forgot” to invite her, but — AWKWARD! — she was at the bar that night anyway.

“Shelby wrote this little gem on a napkin and had someone deliver it to our table,” Cate says. “I’m leaving it up to my brother to decide if this earns her an invite to our next game.”

Sam - I know you are here & didn't invite me. Jerk. -Shelby

related: desperately seeking closure

Tags: "forgot" · frenemies · Oops? · Seattle