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To have and to hold

March 2nd, 2009 · 104 comments

To be honest, I find this note — from an anonymous submitter in Raleigh, N.C.. — to be kind of depressing. So let me just say this: if you’ve recently broken up with a significant other and have been thinking, “Hmm, maybe a heartfelt note is the way to win him/her back!” — JUST. SAY. NO.

Anyway, our submitter writes: “When my husband unpacked his belongings from his ex-wife’s house, he kept finding little ‘surprises.’ For example, although they did not go to high school together, she had signed his senior yearbook, and little notes and reproductions of wedding pictures were stuck in books and in pockets of his clothes. Our favorite was this note we found in his camera case.”

Never to be Replaced! Always #1 Your one and only Wife #1 To have and to hold

(Yes, yes, it looks like “to have anal to hold.”)

related: some dating advice

FILED UNDER: crazypants · ex drama · North Carolina

104 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Krisha

    “to have and” looks like “to have anal”.

    Mar 2, 2009 at 6:12 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   marlo

      YES! Also, if you’ve recently broken up with a significant other and have been thinking, “hmm, maybe a heartfelt note is the way to win him/her back!”…JUST. SAY. NO.

      …this is the quoting the original post thread, isn’t it?

      Mar 2, 2009 at 6:17 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   G

      It took three tries to see “and” instead of “anal” there. Probably says something about me.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 6:21 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Corvus

      (yes, it looks like “to have anal to hold.”)

      Mar 2, 2009 at 6:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   Derbelblatz

      “To have anal to hard” maybe? What ever happened to traditional wedding vows?

      Way to validate the divorce wife #1.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe if she’d offered up the old bung-hole sooner he wouldn’t have left her for the submitter. Her ass is probably so wide open now that she toots when she walks…but she’s got her man! ;-)

      Mar 2, 2009 at 7:48 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #1.6   mamason bang

      CB, you’re always the charmer, aren’t you? ;-)

      Mar 2, 2009 at 8:09 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #1.7   JoelWhy

      Yea, you think she could have hung on to him longer, seeing how she let him enter the naughty place.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 9:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #2   redhead123

    passive aggressive or cruel home wrecker?

    Mar 2, 2009 at 6:18 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   mamason bang

      Is there really any difference?

      Mar 2, 2009 at 7:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #3   catherine

    The question is, why were his belongings still at his ex-wife’s (and for how long) if he was already married to the submitter? Love triangle?

    Mar 2, 2009 at 6:19 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Lorelie

      Yeah, I’m thinking anonymous submitter is also known as Ex-Other Woman.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 6:40 pm   rating: 94  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   RandyinReno

      I know that after I left wife #1, it required a supervised visit for me to come back into the house and pick up the few possessions that I retained custody of.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 8:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   mamason bang

      “Supervised visit”? How old is your ex?

      Mar 2, 2009 at 8:55 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   Neeners

      And the other question is did he still keep all the crap the ex wrote in a shoebox under the bed??

      Hopefully wife number two won’t become ex number two who writes her own sick pathetic love notes.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 8:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #4   candybeans

    and what kind of cruel woman would pose, smiling, next to such a sad note from a woman desperately trying to get her husband back? boy, i sort of hope this ex was a real monster… or else the new wife must be one.

    Mar 2, 2009 at 6:24 pm   rating: 171  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Eric

      If you’re leaving these kinds of notes for someone who’s decided to leave you and who’s CLEARLY with someone else, then you’re not doing it to win them back. The notes were left maliciously, meant for the new wife, not the ex-husband, to remind her that she came second and to plant seeds of doubt.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 6:36 pm   rating: 80  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Canthz_B bang

      I agree with candybeans. That is clearly the smirk of a bitch. A bitch that needs to get her ass beat like she is on Jerry Springer.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 7:54 pm   rating: 73  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   BurstingAtTheSeams

      I agree with everybody above. And add that wife #2 should have cropped herself out of the photo before submitting.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 1:12 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   Thanks!

      Yes, submitter is a total home wrecking bitch looking for validation from pan. Keep looking ho!

      Mar 3, 2009 at 4:26 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   Vampy

      How do you know that wife #2 is a homewrecker? Could it be even remotely possible that she met him AFTER he and wife #1 split up?

      Mar 3, 2009 at 4:46 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #4.6   amy d bang


      Mar 3, 2009 at 4:52 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #4.7   Vampy

      And you know this for fact because? Try scrolling down and reading post #21.1 .

      Mar 3, 2009 at 4:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.8   amy d bang

      So, if you knew 21.1 was there, then why ask the question?

      Btw, in 4.6, I was just being sarcastically funny without the use of emoticons.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 5:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #4.9   Mishee bang

      Vampy – This is PAN. The facts of the case have absolutely NO bearing on our opinions here.

      Get used to it and STFU.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 5:00 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #4.10   Vampy

      Cute. And territorial. Lovely combination.


      Mar 3, 2009 at 7:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.11   Canthz_B bang

      Vampy…that’s what happens when you ask a question, you invite all sorts of snarky answers. It’s nothing personal.
      Just don’t buzz-kill by being too literal. A little leeway is needed to make some jokes work…and most folks are trying to say something humorous.
      Not me though. I can’t see why she had to make the ex’s notes public here and smirk about it.
      She’s a bitch.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 11:29 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #4.12   Thanks!

      Thank you CB! It’s an awful smirk, she won’t have it when she is writing those notes.

      Mar 4, 2009 at 10:10 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.13   Thanks!

      Is Vampy wife #2?

      Mar 4, 2009 at 10:15 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #5   Geek Goddess

    What I want to know, is why he left his ex-wife the job of packing up his stuff? I mean, if you move out but leave your things, it is fair game. He is lucky she didn’t just pack it up for the Goodwill people.

    Mar 2, 2009 at 6:26 pm   rating: 63  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Sigmund Droid

      What, she didn’t cut off an ear and leave that little surprise for him to find?
      I just don’t get why she didn’t have a “come get your shit with a shovel and trash bag” bonfire!

      Mar 2, 2009 at 6:32 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Sirius bang

      Leaving personal items at your ex’s is done at your own peril. My ex came back (two weeks after she left me) to pick up her toothbrush! I didn’t tell her that the toothbrush had found some new cavities in her absence.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 12:29 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   Mishee bang

      Who the fuck doesn’t use their toothbrush for TWO WEEKS?

      If she hadn’t had left you, I would’ve kicked her nasty breath ridden ass out anyways!

      Mar 3, 2009 at 12:37 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #6   Corvus

    Well I guess we know who wore the crazy pants in that (ex) family.

    Mar 2, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #7   SanFran

    If I were either of this new couple, I’d keep a keen eye on a certain ex-wife who’ll invariably be stalking them in due time. She’s not well!

    Mar 2, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Sigmund Droid

      Hopefully they don’t have a pet bunny.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 6:35 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

  • #8   MWG

    Clearly, this ex-wife has mastered the ability of being able to stand up to Reality and deny it.
    She must be the separated-at-birth-twin sister to my husband’s ex-wife, the Queen of Revisionist History.

    Mar 2, 2009 at 6:41 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Jahzzie

      Wow, Queen of Revisionist History sounds like she’s of the same bloodline to my ex-husband, King of the Delusional and regent of the land of persecution/ martyr complex.
      I should submit the last email I got from one of his delusional minions. Too bad it’s all aggressive and no passive.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 9:59 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #9   catherine

    OR submitter is smiling triumphantly because she won/stole the husband from the ex-wife in a dirty affair.

    OR the original couple divorced years ago and ex-wife is crazy.

    There’s something fishy going on in the backstory!

    Mar 2, 2009 at 6:48 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Holiday Djinn

      Aren’t dirty affairs better than any other affair?

      Mar 3, 2009 at 7:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   Lorelie

      I’m not so sure.

      That one I had with the janitor, with the windex and the comet and the paper towels. . . . mmm.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 8:16 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #10   mamason bang

    As the 2nd wife of a man whose ex is batshit crazy, I say, mock away #2! I just hope there are no children involved. *shudder*

    Mar 2, 2009 at 6:52 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Cady

      As a first wife who did not leave creepy notes for my ex husband to find later on, I agree. Whether you’re the person leaving or the person being left, you have to accept reality and let the other person go.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 11:54 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #11   mamason bang

    I’d love to see all the other notes as well.

    Mar 2, 2009 at 6:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #12   Susie

    The passive aggressiveness here is the new wife posing with these sad notes. New wife is a mean and nasty person.

    Mar 2, 2009 at 7:00 pm   rating: 69  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   mamason bang

      Wife #2 is just putting on a brave face. I think most 2nd wives are a bit intimidated by the 1st wife. And if this is a case of infidelity that led to divorce and a new marriage, you know #2 will eventually go crazy, because she knows that someday she’ll be the ex leaving pathetic notes for #3 to find.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 7:10 pm   rating: 77  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Cheers, Mamason. Your comment certainly made my day!

      Mar 3, 2009 at 1:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   Kitten

      “Wife #2 is just putting on a brave face.”

      Uh, that’s not a brave face. That’s a “ha ha, this is so funny and I’m going to send it to so everyone will mock my husband’s ex!” face.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 10:54 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   Mishee bang

      I’m gonna have to agree with Kitten. (except her spelling of aggressive)

      and now that means I have disagreed with mamason…

      Let the spankings commence!!

      Mar 3, 2009 at 11:08 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #12.5   Holiday Djinn

      *Giddy at the mere thought of a spanking*

      Mar 3, 2009 at 11:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      And after the spankings… The oral sex…Light the grail shaped beacon.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #12.7   mamason bang

      OK, Mishee. It’s time for your lickin’. Pun intended. :-)

      Mar 3, 2009 at 4:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.8   Mishee

      *quivers with anticipation*

      Mar 3, 2009 at 4:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #13   QuarterRoy00 bang

    I think the ex-wife is the ex for her lack of card space organizing skills.

    Mar 2, 2009 at 7:00 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   mamason bang

      At least she didn’t use comic sans and word art.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 7:12 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Yes, although had she had crazy stalker penmanship her notes might have seemed more threatening. The bubbly letters just aren’t doing it for me.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 1:23 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #14   Woman on the Verge bang

    You know, this card reads like a middle school yearbook. BFFs4ever! URmy#1!

    The big question is just WHAT is she holding anal?

    Mar 2, 2009 at 7:27 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Geek Goddess

      Isn’t that just a simpler way of saying ‘Anal Retentive’?

      Mar 2, 2009 at 7:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #15   mamason bang

    I organize clothing drives a couple of times a year and Papa’s ex, knowing this, offered to donate some items. I always go through donated items because some things that people donate really need to be in the garbage. So, I’m going through bags of clothing and I didn’t even know what used to belong to who(m) and there in one of the bags is the wedding album from Papa’s 1st marriage! She also “donated” several pairs of her old undies! I’m not sure exactly what she was trying to convey but I realized that day what a scary ride I had gotten on.

    Mar 2, 2009 at 7:41 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      Okay, mama, the only response to the whole donated undies thing is, “Ewwwww….”

      Mar 2, 2009 at 7:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   mamason bang

      I know! Who does that? :lol:

      *Luckily they were my size*

      *do not hit subm

      Mar 2, 2009 at 8:14 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #15.3   RandyinReno

      Are you kidding, Woman??

      You can score big income tax deductions for donated undies.

      Clinton was getting $5 per pair charitable donation for his skivvies.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 8:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.4   mamason bang

      Well sir, I’ve met Bill Clinton and my husband’s ex is no Bill Clinton. ;-)

      Mar 2, 2009 at 8:51 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #15.5   Neeners

      Poor Bill Clinton can’t get ahead selling his tightie whities, but I bet Monica L. gets top dollar for her undies and if she tried to sell that dress she’d be in the money.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 10:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.6   Canthz_B bang

      I bet she makes more selling BJs as “Presidential Specials”.

      Mar 2, 2009 at 11:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.7   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Does any one know how much the cigars sold for?

      Mar 3, 2009 at 10:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #16   NYC Butterfly

    This whole situation definitely needs more information. As far as I’m concerned, wife #2 must feel threatened if she needs to post the note on this site, knowing full well her smile is in the picture. If she wasn’t she would have left the note (and wife #1) alone knowing how sad and pathetic she is. Considering wife 1 had the time and ability to pack this in husband’s bags, I’d bet there was something threatening going on. Hell, wife 1 might have been writing love notes in response to husbands behavior!

    Check out The Anonymous Diary Project at

    Mar 2, 2009 at 8:21 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #17   Julie F

    Seems to me like Wife #1 is not trying to get the guy back but is rubbing it in his face that he left. The tone of this notes seems to be mocking him, like, hey, didn’t you remember we said “to have and to hold”, you bastard who left me for another woman? Seems to be reminding him that he was the bad guy…

    Mar 2, 2009 at 9:54 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #18   Cady

    The anal thing is clearly to remind him of what he’s missing out on.

    Mar 2, 2009 at 11:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #19   igor

    When a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend, before she moved out she took 200 post it notes and wrote “FUCK YOU” on all of them and hid them all over his house. In DVD cases, in books, in the cabinets. She told me she hopes that in 10 years he opens a book he hasn’t touched in a decade and is reminded of how much she hates him. Very classy.

    Mar 3, 2009 at 12:41 am   rating: 60  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   BurstingAtTheSeams

      I did something similar once, but on a small scale…

      but my had pictures and mismatched quotes beneath them. Like the picture of him mooning me, followed by the quote (from his break up email) about how he’s an adult.

      It was a creative energy release.

      A year later, the guy thanked me. Apparently finding pictures of his butt tucked into his travel case and other locations really cracked him up.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 1:21 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   Holiday Djinn

      or perhaps just remind him of the great anal he is missing out on. . . . .

      Mar 3, 2009 at 7:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #19.3   Neeners

      That is an awesome idea! I love it even though it is so immature not to mention time consuming.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 7:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #20   Dudi

    The pathetic passive-aggressive bitch is the anonymous submitter, of course. The note is sad, but has nothing passive or aggressive about it. Submitting it for the whole interweb to see, on the other hand, is both passive-aggressive and pathetic, on a whole different level.

    Mar 3, 2009 at 2:18 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   TPS

      I all can say is I agree ftw.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 1:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   claw71 bang

      Plus: you can’t hate a woman who lets you ride on the Hershey highway.

      Team Wife #1!

      Mar 3, 2009 at 3:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #21   Harpdevil

    What I don’t get is how is he with wife #2 so soon after wife #1 that he hasn’t got his stuff out of the house yet? Shady dealings must have been going on there, our illustrious husband must have been cheating on wife the first. In which case he’s even more lucky to get his stuff back, and even more sad that she wants him back to this extent.

    Mar 3, 2009 at 3:53 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Lea

      I’m going to give an alternate view on this (only because the alternate is what I experienced). When my husband and I got together, he had been separated and going through divorce proceedings for TWO and and HALF YEARS! Ex-wifey kept dragging out the proceedings because she wanted to bleed him dry from lawyers fees (even though she was the one who had/made more money, and she cheated on him). In all this time, the only possesions he was allowed to have were his clothes, all his personal memorabilia and mementos were kept at their old place of residence as a result of one of the many court orders. The divorce went on for almost four years. In that time, hubbie and I fell in love and he proposed. We were just waiting and waiting for the divorce to become final so that we could be married. We finally were able to get married about a month after the divorce was finalized.

      All I can say is, I thank the stars that my hubbie did not ever procreate with Cthulhu (the ex) cause she was just as crazy as this broad. After five years of being married, she still calls the house and leaves nasty messages for me.

      All that being said, this (to me) seems like a plausible situation. Not saying it couldn’t have been a situation born from infidelity though.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 11:16 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #21.2   Phalange

      +1 for nicknaming your husband’s ex “Cthulhu”
      -1 for not changing your phone number after 5 years of harassing phone calls.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 1:15 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #21.3   Harpdevil

      Well that sounds just as plausible, I didn’t know these things could take as long as that, I didn’t take the divorce into account. Glad you finally got together though, good luck for the next 5 years and beyond!

      Mar 3, 2009 at 2:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #21.4   Racerx

      Move to NV for six months. File the papers and poof your divorced!

      Mar 4, 2009 at 12:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #22   pegolas

    Congratulations, future ex-wife #2! Hope you don’t leave anything that the woman he’s banging now can mock.

    Mar 3, 2009 at 7:13 am   rating: 55  small thumbs up

  • #23   Mishee bang

    One day I hope to be a crazy ex-wife like this… Wife #1 has totally given me something to aspire to…

    Of course I probably would include all sorts of embarrassing photos (well, now that I think of it, they would be more embarrassing to me, since you can’t see HIS face…) and possibly a dead, skinned cat or something.

    I do crazy so good! :D

    Mar 3, 2009 at 9:39 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #24   Mishee bang

    anon – If you are going to go to the trouble of submitting a note like this, why not take a better picture so we can see the entire note instead of blocking part of it with your big, fat wrist???

    Mar 3, 2009 at 11:10 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

  • #25   Phalange

    Doesn’t any think that maybe, since they found this note in the camera case, that this note was describing the camera?

    Perhaps it’s their “one and only” camera of a very durable and long lasting model(hence, “never to be replaced”), with convenient hand grips that let you hold it(“to have and to hold”(or it’s a colonoscopy camera if we go with the “to have anal to hold” interpretation)).

    Wife #1 was merely being a 1st-rate pal by pointing out all of these cool camera features for Wife #2.

    Mar 3, 2009 at 1:20 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #26   Lorelie

    You ever hear the joke about the man who goes on a weekend fishing trip, and when he comes home, his wife asks how the fishing was? He tells some tall tale and she says “Oh really? Then you woulda noticed the note in your tackle box, you cheating bastard!”

    That is *so* what this note is.

    “Honey, I’m going on a photography trip. Organized through the local church. Really.” Meanwhile, he’s feverishly texting with future Ex-Other-Woman about which seedy hotel to meet up at.

    At which point, then-wifey (who’s already had her suspicions) sticks a note in his camera case. “Hmm,” she thinks to herself, “If he’s not cheating on me, I’ll just be offering to have and hold anal sex. And I’ve *never* known him to turn down the poop chute.”

    Mar 3, 2009 at 2:29 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Mishee bang

      I’ve only heard the story about the man going out in the Bay fishing on Christmas Eve leaving his pregnant wife at home, then she “went out to walk the dog” and turned up missing…

      Scott Peterson is a lying bastard.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 2:37 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #26.2   Strepsi

      Uh, that wasn’t a joke. That was the plot of Brokeback Mountain.

      Carry on.

      Mar 4, 2009 at 1:56 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #27   claw71 bang

    Anonymous submitter needs to wake up and smell the astroglide. Hubby is still tagging wife #1 and she’s letting him play the back nine.

    How many more trips does he have planned to get his “stuff”, Toots?

    Mar 3, 2009 at 3:07 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

  • #28   anglophile bang

    I would think long and hard before becoming Wife #2 to a husband who is willing to join me in mocking Wife #1.

    Mar 3, 2009 at 3:35 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   mamason bang

      As wife #2 my husband better be willing to join me in mocking wife #1! As a matter of fact, he’d better instigate the mockfest on occasion!

      Mar 3, 2009 at 4:40 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #28.2   Bunnee

      As a wife #2 myself, I don’t know wife #1 well enough to mock her (they divorced many years before we met). I wish I DID know her better, so we could rip her a new one from time to time! (er, wait–maybe he took care of that already, if she’s anything like the note-writer…)

      Mar 3, 2009 at 5:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #29   Thanks!

    I’ll bet wife # 2 is young and will be left in the same manner.

    Mar 3, 2009 at 4:33 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Jim

      How much younger can she be without the husband ending up in the clink? Wife #1 writes like she’s about 14.

      Mar 3, 2009 at 5:43 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #30   Lelu

    Wife no.2 sounds insecure. The note seems like more of a F-U note rather than a pining one.

    Besides, who would be wife no. 2. You married a man who clearly can’t keep his vows*

    *Yada yada, his first wife was a psycho bitch. But readers, he MARRIED her so much have some good!

    Mar 3, 2009 at 8:14 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #31   Small world!

    Hahaha, Bret & Colleen, I KNOW YOU! How’s “Raleigh, NC,” in California?

    Bret did totally cheat on his ex-wife with the chick in the photo, but to be honest, his ex-wife is pretty crazy. Still, he could have just broken up with her like a man instead of cheating.

    Oh, and they’re not actually married. I know because she hasn’t blogged about it and she blogs about every other goddamn thing even though she’s 40 years old.

    Mar 3, 2009 at 9:03 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

  • #32   yellowcroissant541 bang

    for some reason, the first thing i thought after i read this note was that it was kinda creepy that notes would pop up randomly in their house… makes me wonder if the notes were put there AFTER the guy moved into wife #2′s house

    Mar 3, 2009 at 9:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #33   SHARE!!!!

    Small world!, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE share Wife #1′s blog!

    Mar 3, 2009 at 10:39 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #34   shmunk

    both these wives sound like crazy insecure bitches.
    team cool silver paint pen. those are fun.

    Mar 3, 2009 at 10:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #35   Almond

    I’m guilty of being an ex leaving a note.

    Story goes, we were together for three he dumped me after cheating on me a married woman and a girl or two from work. Don’t know all the details, dont care anymore.

    Anyway, packed up all my crap to move interstate and start anew, but I left a few bits of peices of my stuff that I didn’t want or need. Among that I left my (8 y/o beginning to crappit) fridge.

    The fridge is on one of those wall cavities, just before I left I pulled the thing out, wrote a lovely ‘Fuck you’ in nail polish and pushed it back in.
    Passive aggressive yes, but it did give me some satisfaction.

    The notes saying things like ‘I was number one, I hit that before you did’ do seem pretty desperate. But if you’re an emotional mess, you arent exactly going to be thinking in the most logical manner, its more of a case of ‘I’d like to stab him in the eyes, but maybe if I leave enough of these notes he’ll do it himself’.

    Mar 4, 2009 at 2:57 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #36   Emerald

    His ex is a nutcase. Do they still give you money for dropping people off at the institution?

    Mar 16, 2009 at 12:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #37   the kronic—what?—kles of keith

    [...] related: to have and to hold [...]

    Jul 30, 2009 at 10:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #38   Happy Holidays! So glad we're not together. | — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

    [...] related: to have and to hold [...]

    Jan 20, 2010 at 8:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #39   But…but…if your relationship was never public on Facebook, did it ever really exist? |

    [...] into a Taylor Swift song or a six-pack or something. Unless, of course, you want to end up like this 20 years down the [...]

    Jan 19, 2011 at 7:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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