To be honest, I find this note — from an anonymous submitter in Raleigh, N.C.. — to be kind of depressing. So let me just say this: if you’ve recently broken up with a significant other and have been thinking, “Hmm, maybe a heartfelt note is the way to win him/her back!” — JUST. SAY. NO.
Anyway, our submitter writes: “When my husband unpacked his belongings from his ex-wife’s house, he kept finding little ’surprises.’ For example, although they did not go to high school together, she had signed his senior yearbook, and little notes and reproductions of wedding pictures were stuck in books and in pockets of his clothes. Our favorite was this note we found in his camera case.”
(Yes, it looks like “to have anal to hold.”)
related: some dating advice
103 responses so far ↓
#1
Krisha
“to have and” looks like “to have anal”.
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:12 pm rating: +16
#2
redhead123
passive aggressive or cruel home wrecker?
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:18 pm rating: +16
#3
catherine
The question is, why were his belongings still at his ex-wife’s (and for how long) if he was already married to the submitter? Love triangle?
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:19 pm rating: +44
#4
candybeans
and what kind of cruel woman would pose, smiling, next to such a sad note from a woman desperately trying to get her husband back? boy, i sort of hope this ex was a real monster… or else the new wife must be one.
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:24 pm rating: +128
#5
Geek Goddess
What I want to know, is why he left his ex-wife the job of packing up his stuff? I mean, if you move out but leave your things, it is fair game. He is lucky she didn’t just pack it up for the Goodwill people.
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:26 pm rating: +57
#6
Corvus
Well I guess we know who wore the crazy pants in that (ex) family.
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:28 pm rating: +9
#7
SanFran
If I were either of this new couple, I’d keep a keen eye on a certain ex-wife who’ll invariably be stalking them in due time. She’s not well!
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:28 pm rating: +2
#8
MWG
Clearly, this ex-wife has mastered the ability of being able to stand up to Reality and deny it.
.
She must be the separated-at-birth-twin sister to my husband’s ex-wife, the Queen of Revisionist History.
.
.
.
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:41 pm rating: +9
#9
catherine
OR submitter is smiling triumphantly because she won/stole the husband from the ex-wife in a dirty affair.
OR the original couple divorced years ago and ex-wife is crazy.
There’s something fishy going on in the backstory!
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:48 pm rating: +26
#10
mamason
As the 2nd wife of a man whose ex is batshit crazy, I say, mock away #2! I just hope there are no children involved. *shudder*
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:52 pm rating: +10
#11
mamason
I’d love to see all the other notes as well.
Mar 2, 2009 at 6:56 pm rating: +3
#12
Susie
The passive aggressiveness here is the new wife posing with these sad notes. New wife is a mean and nasty person.
Mar 2, 2009 at 7:00 pm rating: +59
#13
QuarterRoy00
I think the ex-wife is the ex for her lack of card space organizing skills.
Mar 2, 2009 at 7:00 pm rating: +14
#14
Woman on the Verge
You know, this card reads like a middle school yearbook. BFFs4ever! URmy#1!
The big question is just WHAT is she holding anal?
Mar 2, 2009 at 7:27 pm rating: +7
#15
mamason
I organize clothing drives a couple of times a year and Papa’s ex, knowing this, offered to donate some items. I always go through donated items because some things that people donate really need to be in the garbage. So, I’m going through bags of clothing and I didn’t even know what used to belong to who(m) and there in one of the bags is the wedding album from Papa’s 1st marriage! She also “donated” several pairs of her old undies! I’m not sure exactly what she was trying to convey but I realized that day what a scary ride I had gotten on.
Mar 2, 2009 at 7:41 pm rating: +18
#16
NYC Butterfly
This whole situation definitely needs more information. As far as I’m concerned, wife #2 must feel threatened if she needs to post the note on this site, knowing full well her smile is in the picture. If she wasn’t she would have left the note (and wife #1) alone knowing how sad and pathetic she is. Considering wife 1 had the time and ability to pack this in husband’s bags, I’d bet there was something threatening going on. Hell, wife 1 might have been writing love notes in response to husbands behavior!
Check out The Anonymous Diary Project at http://anonymousdiaryproject.blogspot.com
Mar 2, 2009 at 8:21 pm rating: +6
#17
Julie F
Seems to me like Wife #1 is not trying to get the guy back but is rubbing it in his face that he left. The tone of this notes seems to be mocking him, like, hey, didn’t you remember we said “to have and to hold”, you bastard who left me for another woman? Seems to be reminding him that he was the bad guy…
Mar 2, 2009 at 9:54 pm rating: +7
#18
Cady
The anal thing is clearly to remind him of what he’s missing out on.
Mar 2, 2009 at 11:49 pm rating: +4
#19
igor
When a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend, before she moved out she took 200 post it notes and wrote “FUCK YOU” on all of them and hid them all over his house. In DVD cases, in books, in the cabinets. She told me she hopes that in 10 years he opens a book he hasn’t touched in a decade and is reminded of how much she hates him. Very classy.
Mar 3, 2009 at 12:41 am rating: +46
#20
Dudi
The pathetic passive-aggressive bitch is the anonymous submitter, of course. The note is sad, but has nothing passive or aggressive about it. Submitting it for the whole interweb to see, on the other hand, is both passive-aggressive and pathetic, on a whole different level.
Mar 3, 2009 at 2:18 am rating: +35
#21
Harpdevil
What I don’t get is how is he with wife #2 so soon after wife #1 that he hasn’t got his stuff out of the house yet? Shady dealings must have been going on there, our illustrious husband must have been cheating on wife the first. In which case he’s even more lucky to get his stuff back, and even more sad that she wants him back to this extent.
Mar 3, 2009 at 3:53 am rating: +17
#22
pegolas
Congratulations, future ex-wife #2! Hope you don’t leave anything that the woman he’s banging now can mock.
Mar 3, 2009 at 7:13 am rating: +43
#23
Mishee
One day I hope to be a crazy ex-wife like this… Wife #1 has totally given me something to aspire to…
Of course I probably would include all sorts of embarrassing photos (well, now that I think of it, they would be more embarrassing to me, since you can’t see HIS face…) and possibly a dead, skinned cat or something.
I do crazy so good!
Mar 3, 2009 at 9:39 am rating: +11
#24
Mishee
anon – If you are going to go to the trouble of submitting a note like this, why not take a better picture so we can see the entire note instead of blocking part of it with your big, fat wrist???
Mar 3, 2009 at 11:10 am rating: +27
#25
Phalange
Doesn’t any think that maybe, since they found this note in the camera case, that this note was describing the camera?
Perhaps it’s their “one and only” camera of a very durable and long lasting model(hence, “never to be replaced”), with convenient hand grips that let you hold it(“to have and to hold”(or it’s a colonoscopy camera if we go with the “to have anal to hold” interpretation)).
Wife #1 was merely being a 1st-rate pal by pointing out all of these cool camera features for Wife #2.
Mar 3, 2009 at 1:20 pm rating: +16
#26
Lorelie
You ever hear the joke about the man who goes on a weekend fishing trip, and when he comes home, his wife asks how the fishing was? He tells some tall tale and she says “Oh really? Then you woulda noticed the note in your tackle box, you cheating bastard!”
That is *so* what this note is.
“Honey, I’m going on a photography trip. Organized through the local church. Really.” Meanwhile, he’s feverishly texting with future Ex-Other-Woman about which seedy hotel to meet up at.
At which point, then-wifey (who’s already had her suspicions) sticks a note in his camera case. “Hmm,” she thinks to herself, “If he’s not cheating on me, I’ll just be offering to have and hold anal sex. And I’ve *never* known him to turn down the poop chute.”
Mar 3, 2009 at 2:29 pm rating: +8
#27
claw71
Anonymous submitter needs to wake up and smell the astroglide. Hubby is still tagging wife #1 and she’s letting him play the back nine.
How many more trips does he have planned to get his “stuff”, Toots?
Mar 3, 2009 at 3:07 pm rating: +19
#28
anglophile
I would think long and hard before becoming Wife #2 to a husband who is willing to join me in mocking Wife #1.
Mar 3, 2009 at 3:35 pm rating: +28
#29
Thanks!
I’ll bet wife # 2 is young and will be left in the same manner.
Mar 3, 2009 at 4:33 pm rating: +9
#30
Lelu
Wife no.2 sounds insecure. The note seems like more of a F-U note rather than a pining one.
Besides, who would be wife no. 2. You married a man who clearly can’t keep his vows*
*Yada yada, his first wife was a psycho bitch. But readers, he MARRIED her so much have some good!
Mar 3, 2009 at 8:14 pm rating: +11
#31
Small world!
Hahaha, Bret & Colleen, I KNOW YOU! How’s “Raleigh, NC,” in California?
Bret did totally cheat on his ex-wife with the chick in the photo, but to be honest, his ex-wife is pretty crazy. Still, he could have just broken up with her like a man instead of cheating.
Oh, and they’re not actually married. I know because she hasn’t blogged about it and she blogs about every other goddamn thing even though she’s 40 years old.
Mar 3, 2009 at 9:03 pm rating: +24
#32
yellowcroissant541
for some reason, the first thing i thought after i read this note was that it was kinda creepy that notes would pop up randomly in their house… makes me wonder if the notes were put there AFTER the guy moved into wife #2’s house
Mar 3, 2009 at 9:29 pm rating: +1
#33
SHARE!!!!
Small world!, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE share Wife #1’s blog!
Mar 3, 2009 at 10:39 pm rating: +7
#34
shmunk
both these wives sound like crazy insecure bitches.
team cool silver paint pen. those are fun.
Mar 3, 2009 at 10:42 pm rating: +3
#35
Almond
I’m guilty of being an ex leaving a note.
Story goes, we were together for three he dumped me after cheating on me a married woman and a girl or two from work. Don’t know all the details, dont care anymore.
Anyway, packed up all my crap to move interstate and start anew, but I left a few bits of peices of my stuff that I didn’t want or need. Among that I left my (8 y/o beginning to crappit) fridge.
The fridge is on one of those wall cavities, just before I left I pulled the thing out, wrote a lovely ‘Fuck you’ in nail polish and pushed it back in.
Passive aggressive yes, but it did give me some satisfaction.
The notes saying things like ‘I was number one, I hit that before you did’ do seem pretty desperate. But if you’re an emotional mess, you arent exactly going to be thinking in the most logical manner, its more of a case of ‘I’d like to stab him in the eyes, but maybe if I leave enough of these notes he’ll do it himself’.
Mar 4, 2009 at 2:57 am rating: +12
#36
Emerald
His ex is a nutcase. Do they still give you money for dropping people off at the institution?
Mar 16, 2009 at 12:34 am rating: 0
#37 the kronic—what?—kles of keith
[...] related: to have and to hold [...]
Jul 30, 2009 at 10:43 pm rating: 0
#38 Happy Holidays! So glad we're not together. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people
[...] related: to have and to hold [...]
Jan 20, 2010 at 8:22 pm rating: 0
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