really though — carnations? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

really though — carnations?

March 9th, 2009 · 142 comments

so, kevin in san francisco says his friend’s roommate went on three “hang out at a bar” dates with this guy from france. after the third date — in admirably straightforward fashion — he told french guy it wasn’t wasn’t working out and he didn’t want to see him anymore. (you know, the old “it’s not me, it’s you” routine.)

unfortunately for them both, le bachelor did not take le hint. instead, kevin says, he showed up at his would-be lover’s house and paced back and forth outside the door for an hour while sending creepy text messages. “he finally left, but not without leaving a bouquet of red carnations on the hood of the car with this note attached.”

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FILED UNDER: breakup · san francisco · spurned lover

142 responses so far ↓

#1 blake

I’d love to see some of the text messages.

I do the same thing to woo my women. Except i leave owl pellets.

Mar 9, 2009 at 3:31 pm rating: +25

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- #1.1 Joshua
  
  Is this roomates friend a dude or a chick?
  
  Mar 11, 2009 at 12:50 pm rating: +1
- #1.2 Jalissa
  
  They’re obviously gay.
  
  Mar 12, 2009 at 2:06 am rating: +2
- #1.3 bettie
  
  This guy is doing both sides of the conversation. He’s supposed to say “I love you” and the OTHER person is supposed to say “and I don’t know what to do with that…” At least, that is what always happens to me.
  
  Mar 12, 2009 at 4:10 pm rating: +5
- #1.4 Joshua
  
  Everytime I leave one of these notes I always put a “dot dot dot ” directly after please, it helps to express my extreme dispair. However next time I just might try using that – y’ou. Not sure what it means but in my opinion good use of the word.
  
  Mar 12, 2009 at 5:39 pm rating: +4
- #1.5 Joshua
  
  I also do it to woo them, but I usually change can’t to can it strikes fear
  
  Mar 12, 2009 at 5:44 pm rating: +1
- #1.6 D / DM
  
  @Jalissa:
  That’s not fair. Not ALL French people are gay…
  
  @bettie:
  I think what he is trying to say is “I love you, and I can’t help it.” But I could be wrong. Stranger things have happened.
  
  Mar 13, 2009 at 11:16 am rating: +3
- #1.7 Julie
  
  To D/DM: Not all French people are gay, but please notice the use of male pronouns: “he told french guy it wasn’t wasn’t working out and he didn’t want to see him anymore.” It sounds to me like this French person *is* gay.
  
  I’m not sure what you mean by “not fair”. I think it’s totally fair that not all French people are gay; gives everyone a chance to pick one up.
  
  Mar 14, 2009 at 4:48 am rating: +2
- #1.8 D / DM
  
  @Julie:
  
  Sigh.
  
  Mar 20, 2009 at 4:19 pm rating: +1
- #1.9 munch
  
  #1.4 — it’s pretty obvious that he wrote “you” and not “y’ou”, and that what you are seeing as the apostrophy is actually a comma (e.g., “please, I love you” versus “please I love y’ou”).
  
  Mar 21, 2009 at 5:47 pm rating: +1
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#2 marlo

I’m picturing a man holding carnations, dressed in a black suit with a white stripe on the back, stink lines radiating everywhere.

Mar 9, 2009 at 3:33 pm rating: +74

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- #2.1 agirlie
  
  Oh My! The image this brings, thanks for the laugh!
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 3:43 pm rating: 0
- #2.2 Ti O
  
  “…Oh my darling *kiss kiss kiss* Oh sweet puddle of love…*mwuah mwuah mwuah*
  Oh J’aime my tender butterfly of hearts passions…*gets hit in head by frying pan*
  Oh thees one is playing hard to get no?”
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 5:32 pm rating: +41
- #2.3 Joshua
  
  Why not pansies?
  
  Mar 11, 2009 at 12:52 pm rating: +1
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#3 matt

any guy who uses a comma in ‘you’ definately should be broken up with.

Mar 9, 2009 at 3:37 pm rating: +5

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- #3.1 James
  
  It is not a comma in “you”; it is an apostrophe after “understand”.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:08 pm rating: +16
- #3.2 Nicole
  
  Actually it’s a comma after “understand”. You were both half right. ;o)
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:14 pm rating: +23
- #3.3 Lisa
  
  It’s actually a comma after “understand”.
  
  ETA: Aha, jinx Nicole.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:15 pm rating: +1
- #3.4 mamason
  
  James made a funny!
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:50 pm rating: +1
- #3.5 ak
  
  meh
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:57 pm rating: 0
- #3.6 Morgan
  
  Any guy who uses an “a” in “definitely” should definitely be broken up with.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 8:23 pm rating: +17
- #3.7 Canthz_B
  
  Huzzah, James!!! Well done!!!
  
  Nicole & Lisa…there is a sense of humor in the PAN lost and found, it may belong to one of you.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 10:25 pm rating: +9
- #3.8 Nicole
  
  *slinks back to her corner*
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 11:11 am rating: +2
- #3.9 Lisa
  
  My sense of humor is well intact, Canthz B, I’m just a little slow sometimes. (this is what i get for being somewhat of a douche i suppose…)
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 3:57 pm rating: +2
- #3.10 Mishee
  
  Nicole and Lisa should form a support group for those targeted by CB.
  
  They will have a full house in no time!
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 4:25 pm rating: +6
- #3.11 D / DM
  
  @ matt & Morgan:
  
  The two of you should talk. Quite frankly, people have been dumped for far less than your kind of flagrant use of prepositions at the ends of sentences.
  
  Mar 13, 2009 at 11:21 am rating: 0
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#4 Holiday Djinn

Carnations-the gay rose?

Seriously though, if you pick out a card that has roses on it you should not give carnations.

Mar 9, 2009 at 3:39 pm rating: +24

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- #4.1 Monkeyspeaks
  
  actually gay men usually have a better understanding of flowers – carnation = the elementary school flower.
  
  ps. roses = so overdone. men, gay and straight, need to get with it. It’s all about the exotic flower now.
  
  I bet if he had gotten him tulips or an orchid he would have at LEAST put out. I mean, who doesn’t put out for orchids.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 5:31 pm rating: +43
- #4.2 agatha christie
  
  Psht, Monkey, speak for yourself. I only associate orchids with Mother’s Day corsages and there isn’t anything about them that makes me want to put out.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 6:34 pm rating: +6
- #4.3 Sue-238
  
  For orchids?
  
  You bet I would.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 8:56 pm rating: +5
- #4.4 eureeka
  
  Funny that you specifically mention orchids as the flower you would have chosen for this gay couple – orchid means “testicle-like”. The roots are shaped like balls.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 9:51 pm rating: +17
- #4.5 Holiday Djinn
  
  There gay for godsake. I am sure they prefer tulips on their organ, rather than orcids anywhere!
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 6:54 am rating: +3
- #4.6 tinkerbell2
  
  Typing one-handed while thinking about that, HD? That would account for the spelling..
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:27 am rating: +5
- #4.7 Ti O
  
  Already been said @ #26.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 11:23 am rating: +1
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#5 agirlie

Wait a minute….gay guys live in San Fran??? What-what-what???

Mar 9, 2009 at 3:42 pm rating: +14

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- #5.1 MoxieHart
  
  And some basketall players are Black.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 3:58 pm rating: +9
- #5.2 claw71
  
  basket-”all”
  
  Isn’t that an event in the Homeless Olympics?
  
  And some of them are black too!
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:15 pm rating: +3
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#6 drybamboo

From wikipedia: “In some cultures, however–especially French culture–the carnation symbolises misfortune and bad luck. Light red carnations represent admiration, while dark red denote deep love and affection.” Passive-aggressive indeed!

Mar 9, 2009 at 3:43 pm rating: +25

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- #6.1 Lorelie
  
  Wait, what? Red carnations mean both deep love and bad luck?
  
  This is why I hate random Wikipedia quoting.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:56 pm rating: +8
- #6.2 nicejoest
  
  Well, the lover has bad luck, since he’s been refused. And the carnations–the etymology of the word speaks of flesh and blood–do represent a deep, passionate love.
  
  Yes, the note is a bit passive-aggressive, but I think it’s sweet also. Hey, the guy should be happy that at least he inspires passion.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 5:45 pm rating: +2
- #6.3 Sigmund Droid
  
  “For the most part, carnations express love, fascination, and distinction, though there are many variations dependent on colour:
  
  * Light red carnations represent admiration, while dark red denote deep love and affection. *White carnations indicate pure love and good luck, while striped symbolise a regret that a love cannot be shared.”
  Interestingly Wikipedia does mention that William McKinley always wore a scarlet carnation including the day he was assassinated.
  So not the luckiest of flowers.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 7:15 pm rating: +1
- #6.4 Canthz_B
  
  Next time my ex-girlfriend has me arrested for stalking and tries to get a restraining order based on harassment, I’m going to tell the judge that she should be happy that at least she inspires passion.
  That “Your Honor, I love her so much I’d kill her then myself just so we could spend eternity together” didn’t go over very well last time.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 10:39 pm rating: +13
- #6.5 krys
  
  Maybe some more wikipedia quoting will clear things up?
  
  Dans le langage des fleurs, l’œillet est le symbole de l’amour. L’œillet blanc symbolise la passion fidèle, l’œillet rouge, la passion partagée. Cependant certaines personnes redoutent l’œillet, accusé de porter le mauvais sort. Il a la réputation de porter malheur aux comédiens. Dans l’Europe du Sud, l’œillet blanc fut longtemps la fleur des morts. Il sert en Italie à confectionner des couronnes mortuaires.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 7:38 pm rating: 0
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#7 matt

“I can’t do anything with that bunch of carnations. I was going to lovingly ram them up your ass like we did to each other last week, but I guess you didn’t want to play this week.”

Mar 9, 2009 at 3:43 pm rating: +13

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#8 claw71

A gay Frenchman? Wow. That’s stunning. It’s such a masculine culture. I never would have guessed.

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:05 pm rating: +17

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- #8.1 Ti O
  
  I know! They have a completely butch national anthem too. It makes no sense.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 5:36 pm rating: +4
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#9 QuarterRoy00

There’s plenty he can do w/ his love now that he’s not holding the flowers anymore…

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:05 pm rating: +3

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#10 Sophie

Please understand,
you are creeping me the fuck out.

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:07 pm rating: +32

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#11 claw71

In all honesty, though this note looks strikingly similar to one I left a drag queen a couple of years ago. She (he) was beautiful and bold and erotic and passionate. I loved her (him)….but I couldn’t do anything with that (penis).

Of course I left behind a bucket of nuclear wings and the card I wrote the note on was adorned with a bouquet of wrenches. Overcompensating, you say? Perhaps, but when you finally pull the panties off the woman you’ve been making out with for five hours only to find six inches of uncut kielbasa, you need to earn back those man points.

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:12 pm rating: +25

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- #11.1 Mishee
  
  Was she/he wearing RB’s bra?
  
  Cause she is still waiting for that back.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:30 pm rating: +6
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#12 Phalange

And can’t do anything with WHAT???

This is like that annoying Meatloaf song…

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:26 pm rating: +22

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#13 Mishee

And here I thought that all Frenchmen were cheese eating surrender monkeys…

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:29 pm rating: +6

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- #13.1 mamason
  
  They are all gay, cheese eating surrender monkeys… You were mostly right!
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:44 pm rating: +5
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#14 Sirius

The amateur handwriting analyst in me says – run, roommate, run!

Or scamper, if you prefer.

*analyst*

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:37 pm rating: +11

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- #14.1 mamason
  
  As far as gayness goes… this guy’s off the Rectum Scale.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:48 pm rating: +20
- #14.2 Canthz_B
  
  That reminds me, SF is due for a big one. One that will tear the Rectum Scale apart!
  There are a lot of fissures out there, you know.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 10:59 pm rating: +7
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#15 mamason

Did he make little hearts out of the O’s in you and do?

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:43 pm rating: +1

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#16 Mishee

WTF does “I Iove You” mean?

Must be some French merde…

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:43 pm rating: +3

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#17 Eric

I’ve had a guy fall in madly love with me after making out once. And another after two dates. It sucks when your not into them at all and have to cut it off.

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:44 pm rating: +2

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- #17.1 mamason
  
  a la Lorena Bobbitt?
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:47 pm rating: +14
- #17.2 J
  
  Lorena Bobbitt would have been my hero except she told them where she hid the penis (and it wasn’t in the turned on blender).
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:55 pm rating: +6
- #17.3 Mishee
  
  I would’ve told them to send the search dogs after it if they really wanted to find it!
  
  Haha!
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 4:56 pm rating: +1
- #17.4 claw71
  
  The problem, Eric, is that most gay men are wired like straight women. If you could find a way to attract straight men you would discover that “falling madly in love” is a rare state of mind that usually occurs when the straight man finds himself dating a moderately attractive woman around the same time he detects that bald spot on the back of his head.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 5:01 pm rating: +16
- #17.5 Canthz_B
  
  LOL he said “it sucks” LOL
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: +2
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#18 leftfoot

Yikes. So if he can’t “do” anything without him, he can’t poop without him. That’s taking obsession a bit far. I would have thought it would have been a normal, “I can’t live without you note”, but no…. I was pleasantly surprised to learn I’m not the craziest person in the world.

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:51 pm rating: 0

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- #18.1 claw71
  
  This is why personal care aides are discouraged from making out with their quadriplegic patients.
  
  Speaking from experience, pooping without him isn’t really a problem…cleaning up, on the other hand, presents a few challenges.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 5:04 pm rating: +4
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#19 topleft

Easy, kids.

The poor guy’s had his heart broken and now the “world” knows.

Have you never fallen hard and fast for someone only to be spurned ? It could be you next. Have a heart and show some sympathy.

OP is the real idiot here.

(oh, and for all the English professors on here, there’s a clue in “this guy from France.” English is his second language.)

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:53 pm rating: +19

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- #19.1 Mishee
  
  wow.
  
  are you sure you are on the correct website?
  
  if you think you are on passiveaggressivenotes.com, then you need to STFU.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 5:01 pm rating: +20
- #19.2 claw71
  
  I’d like to thank topleft for putting all of this in perspective. I don’t know how that absolves our French Fairy from being a creepy stalker, but I’ve certainly been taken down a peg or two.
  
  But then again one could take the hardline Lou Dobbs stance and insist that French Nationals develop a little better understanding of the English language before they try to come over here and queer up our hard-working American fags with their cheese-licking French ways.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 5:09 pm rating: +23
- #19.3 Goldie
  
  It could be me next, but not likely – Mr. Goldie will be very upset if I fall hard and fast for someone, even if only to be spurned. That said, I agree with you. I felt the guy’s pain too when I saw the note.
  
  …
  
  On second thought, it’s still funny as hell. Also, Monsieur Lovestruck loses 99% of my sympathy for texting the poor dude for sixty minutes straight while standing in front of his door.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 5:09 pm rating: +15
- #19.4 Corvus
  
  Ohhh Waaaaa waaaa boo fucking hoo. So Monsieur Saucisse Passeur had his heart broken after three dates and then stalks the victim to his apartment and then spends an hour pacing in front of his house sending creepy text messages and leaves a crappy $2.99 Walgreen bouquet du merde on his car. For this he should have sympathy? STFU You obviously don’t know what this place is about.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 5:49 pm rating: +12
- #19.5 topleft
  
  I know what website I am on. Thanks for reminding me though as I can’t see what relevance a note from the lovelorn has to the site’s content, nor why it appears to be so much fun to mock his genuine misfortune.
  
  I’m all for taking the piss out of idiots who can’t communicate to their office colleagues about cleaning the coffee pot other than through crappy little, pussy-ass notes, but hating on someone with heartache ?
  
  Nah.
  
  I’d like to think I’m a little bit bigger, a little bit smarter and a little bit more sensitive to others.
  
  Anyway, you obviously don’t get it, as you told me in no uncertain terms…
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 6:21 pm rating: +14
- #19.6 Mishee
  
  Funny, it took me 3 years to realize that I was really in love with my boyfriend (now my husband).
  
  Believe me, after 3 dates I wasn’t even sure if I liked him for more than the pot he constantly had and the packs of cigarettes he would buy me in attempts to woo me. (it helped!)
  
  This guy is just fucking creepy with a capital F. (that F being for “French”)
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 7:00 pm rating: +15
- #19.7 leftfoot
  
  If “getting it” means falling so hopelessly in love with someone so quickly and so hard that I scare the person (and/or roommate) and border on what could be considered stalking, resulting in a restraining order put out against me…. then I’m glad I don’t “get it”.
  
  (run on sentences, however, I “get”.)
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 7:01 pm rating: +6
- #19.8 se
  
  Topleft, we do understand your pain. We’re just having a little fun.
  By the way, does topleft describe your usual position in a foursome?
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 7:12 pm rating: +10
- #19.9 Sirius
  
  Nah.
  
  I’d like to think I’m a little bit bigger, a little bit smarter and a little bit more sensitive to others.
  
  You meant “than others”, not “to others”, right?
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 7:28 pm rating: +8
- #19.10 se
  
  Sirius, that’s the English language for you. I think he said what he meant, just didn’t finish it.
  Writing as one speaking, the sentence would have finished with “than you are”.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 7:55 pm rating: +2
- #19.11 Sirius
  
  Or perhaps “…than you are, so neener neener!” With maybe a flip of the ponytail.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 8:03 pm rating: +6
- #19.12 topleft
  
  corvus- my mistake I didn’t realise PAN had turned into 4Chan.
  
  se- I’m still trying to work out how “topleft” would work as a position in a foursome. I was never any good at putting pegs in holes though, round or otherwise…
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 8:49 pm rating: +3
- #19.13 Canthz_B
  
  Fuck him. If the guy had a clue he’d be straight…American women will do anything for a guy with a French accent!
  I wonder how many funerals he had to crash to get all of the carnations?
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 10:21 pm rating: +9
- #19.14 Phalange
  
  I’m seriously supposed to feel sorry for the guy with such large dependency issues that he “falls in love” after the 3rd date? No, sorry.
  
  P.S. Huh huh, you said “hard and fast”.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 8:13 am rating: +8
- #19.15 Ti O
  
  After only three “hang out at a bar dates” this is the reaction to a “I don’t like you that way” brush off. Wow seriously there are some mental health issues with this spurned frenchie paramour.
  Now I can only see him cutting through the S.F. cities of the dead snatching carnations from vases to deliver to his would be lover. Like some sort of Day of the Living Dead dating game without Chuck Woolery.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:24 am rating: +5
- #19.16 claw71
  
  So this “topleft” guy is really pretty upset that Frenchie is the butt of the joke in this thread. It makes me wonder if “topleft” is really more of a bottom with a bit of a Parisian accent who has a tendency to get way too emotionally invested way too early in the relationship.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 2:31 pm rating: +9
- #19.17 RP
  
  “I can’t see what relevance a note from the lovelorn has to the site’s content”
  
  topleft made a “Why is this here” comment.
  
  STONE HIM!
  
  Mar 12, 2009 at 1:15 pm rating: +2
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#20 Hod

I hate when you feel like there’s nothing you can do. It’s like trying to put a round peg in a round hole, except the round hole belongs to the guy who won’t return your calls.

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:54 pm rating: +40

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- #20.1 Canthz_B
  
  Sounds to me like the guy not returning calls has the peg in this case. And Frenchie just has that feeling you get when rejected…that empty feeling.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 11:09 pm rating: +3
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#21 MinD

Oh my. That’s way more forward than I could ever be after the third date. I at least wait ’til the fifth or sixth…

Mar 9, 2009 at 4:56 pm rating: +1

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#22 NYC Butterfly

After only 3 dates?! Really?! Good thing the roommate tried to get rid of him now. Who knows what he would have left on the car after more dates.

Mar 9, 2009 at 5:48 pm rating: +6

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#23 lightspeed

It’s been a while since I took French, but I think “and can’t do anything with that” is a rough translation from a French expression meaning ‘I stalked and killed my last boyfriend and need something to occupy my time now.’

Mar 9, 2009 at 5:54 pm rating: +45

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#24 Beanster

my favourite (that’s right, favoUrite) part of this note is how he tried to make the “y” in “I love You” look the same as the “y” in “Just for You” while the “y” in “anything” is just normal-person handwriting.

I just imagine him standing in Walgreens (thank you corvus) looking at this card and just being so moved by it, thinking “if I emulate the beauty of this card in the way I declare my undying (NB. perhaps a poor choice of words considering the dying/stalking and killing that is about to take place) love, mon petit garcon will fell the power of the beauty of my love, just as I feel the power of the beauty of this card.”

Mar 9, 2009 at 6:32 pm rating: +9

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#25 you suck at craigslist

The next step is standing outside their flat with a boom box over his head, blaring ABBA.

Mar 9, 2009 at 7:30 pm rating: +15

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- #25.1 Andrea
  
  Thank you craigslist, now I can’t get “Take A Chance On Me” out of my head.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 9:39 pm rating: +2
- #25.2 Ti O
  
  Take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance…
  
  Jump in anytime I can do this all day.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:27 am rating: +4
- #25.3 Mishee
  
  Geez, how appropriate of a song did y’all choose??
  
  If you change your mind, I’m the first in line
  Honey I’m still free
  Take a chance on me
  If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
  If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down
  If you’re all alone when the pretty birds have flown
  Honey I’m still free
  Take a chance on me
  Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie
  If you put me to the test, if you let me try
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:40 am rating: +5
- #25.4 Ti O
  
  Yay Mishee™ !
  You’re the best.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:46 am rating: +3
- #25.5 Mishee
  
  Yes I know I am.
  
  Just see #31.4.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:51 am rating: +2
- #25.6 you suck at craigslist
  
  I would have also accepted “Voulez-vouz”.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 10:21 am rating: +2
- #25.7 Mishee
  
  YSACL – I’m not that kind of girl.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 10:24 am rating: +1
- #25.8 mamason
  
  Yes you are!
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 4:28 pm rating: +1
- #25.9 mamason
  
  Mishee, I hope you realize that I pick on you because my emotional maturity is that of a 10 year old boy and I know of no other way to express my undying love for you. *maybe I should try carnations*
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 4:41 pm rating: +3
- #25.10 Mishee
  
  *loves it when mamason picks on her*
  
  Now if I could only get you to pick UP on me, my day would be complete!
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 4:42 pm rating: +1
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#26 Nunavut Guy

Not sure about carnations,but I’ll bet tulips on an organ would have gone over.

Mar 9, 2009 at 10:28 pm rating: +2

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- #26.1 aaa
  
  Which organ? Or perhaps more appropriately, whose organ?
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 10:37 pm rating: +1
- #26.2 Nunavut Guy
  
  The vase would not be wasted.
  
  Mar 9, 2009 at 10:39 pm rating: +1
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#27 aaa

Mon chou,

Je t’aime parce qu j’ai oublié que mes pantalons sont sous ton lit. Ces fleurs laides sont un symbole de mon obsession. S’il te plaît, j’aimerais t’enlever et tu tient comme un prisonnier dans mon bunker en France.

- M. McAberration

Mar 9, 2009 at 10:36 pm rating: +6

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- #27.1 Ti O
  
  Mon Chou,
  Rien ne me rendrait plus heureux que de vous mettre, comme ces fleurs, dans un pot en conserve dans mon sous-sol.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:33 am rating: +7
- #27.2 aaa
  
  Mmmmm… Human confit…
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 3:05 pm rating: +1
- #27.3 Ti O
  
  Mmmmmm cooked up on a cold winter’s night with some roasted potatoes and wild mushrooms.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 3:19 pm rating: +1
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#28 Bernd das Brot

Been there, done that. Couldn’t do anything with the carnations either.

Mar 9, 2009 at 10:38 pm rating: +4

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#29 aaa

“Leslie,

I masturbate furiously to your picture every night. Please notice me.

Love, Mike.”

Mar 9, 2009 at 10:39 pm rating: +5

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#30 Frenchy

Carnations are seen as bad luck in France. Just thought I’d point that out.

Mar 9, 2009 at 10:43 pm rating: +2

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- #30.1 Mishee
  
  Gee, and to think I only learned that about 24 comments ago.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:38 am rating: +6
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#31 Juliet

This note is the pinnacle of neuroticism (sp). DUDE! How can you not have received that message?! Honestly, how much clearer do you have to be?

(It IS something I did, I know it!)

Mar 10, 2009 at 2:28 am rating: 0

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- #31.1 Phalange
  
  Remember, you can’t spell neuroticism without erotic.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 8:16 am rating: +6
- #31.2 Mishee
  
  I’m pretty sure it would be “eurotic” (hey! its got the word euro in it… who’da thunk??)
  
  But that’s just me.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:20 am rating: +4
- #31.3 GhostWriter
  
  Mishee, we don’t need “u” to spell erotic…
  
  “Freaky-Deeky”, maybe…
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:39 am rating: +6
- #31.4 Mishee
  
  Mishee™ is like Greek.
  
  Its the base of all words in the English language.
  
  That, and yes, I do Greek.
  
  But only after the FOURTH date.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:43 am rating: +6
- #31.5 mamason
  
  Is that why you smell like feta?
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 4:32 pm rating: +1
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#32 Heide

Everyone keeps contemplating the meaning of red carnations, both here in the U.S. and internationally. The only thing they symbolize to me is that this French guy is a tight wad who picked them up at a local Safeway store. Let’s hope that his broken heart mended as quickly as it was enamored and that he quickly discovered a new love interest to shower with inexpensive tokens of affection.

Mar 10, 2009 at 9:38 am rating: +5

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- #32.1 Mishee
  
  I love carnations.
  
  But then again, I am a pretty easy date.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 9:59 am rating: +1
- #32.2 Holiday Djinn
  
  And lay. . . . . . . .
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 10:48 am rating: 0
- #32.3 mamason
  
  That’s what Mishee’s mom said when she first tried to fix us up.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 4:33 pm rating: 0
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#33 Goldie

While we’re on the subject of carnations, I would like to share with all of you that, in Soviet Russia, red carnations were a symbol of the revolution. (Probably the reason why I cannot stand the damn flower.) Furthermore, revolutionary situation, as Lenin famously stated and we were taught in school, is defined as “the ones on top no longer can and the ones on the bottom no longer want” to do something or other, the exact quote escapes me at the moment. This actually explains a lot to me about the guy’s choice of carnation as a parting gift, as indicated by his own words “and I cannot do anything with that”. It appears that Mr. French dude liked to be on top, but has run into erectile dysfunction issues lately (plus, of course, the guy on the bottom is no longer willing.) There, note deciphered. You’re all welcome.

Mar 10, 2009 at 10:12 am rating: +11

reply to this comment
- #33.1 Mishee
  
  In Soviet Russia, carnation picks YOU.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 10:16 am rating: +5
- #33.2 Ti O
  
  For that I am leaving calla lilies on your car.
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 10:50 am rating: +4
- #33.3 Goldie
  
  My car or Mishee’s car? Just in case, awwwww!
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 3:43 pm rating: +2
- #33.4 Mishee
  
  Goldie – back off! Ti O loves ME!
  
  ONLY ME!
  
  (oh, and I guess his wife too…)
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 3:48 pm rating: +1
- #33.5 Goldie
  
  OMG OMG I get to fight Mishee! for Ti O!! How cool is that??? Will there be Jell-O?
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 5:05 pm rating: +1
- #33.6 Ti O
  
  *rubs hands with glee*
  *sets up folding chair on sidelines*
  *promises to make out with the winner*
  *promises to make out with the loser*
  
  Mar 10, 2009 at 6:41 pm rating: 0
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#34 TPS

ah, le love *sigh*

Mar 10, 2009 at 11:31 am rating: +1

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#35 Wade

This note belongs in a Pepe Le Pew cartoon:

Quel est? Ah, le bel homo skunk fatal.

Mar 10, 2009 at 1:06 pm rating: +2

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#36 Meesh

I’m wondering how many single carnations he had to steal from porches in order to make an entire bouquet (that he didn’t spend his own money on).

Mar 10, 2009 at 1:12 pm rating: +1

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#37 Matt

give him my number – I’m a dude and I could use some nice flowers

Mar 10, 2009 at 1:26 pm rating: +1

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#38 Byatch

Team topleft!

I’m not sure what’s scarier, the incredible racism going on here, the appalling French spelling and grammar… or the fact that it’s still funny.

Mar 11, 2009 at 2:35 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #38.1 anglophile
  
  First time reading PAN?
  
  Buckle your seatbelt, honey.
  
  Mar 11, 2009 at 10:41 am rating: +2
- #38.2 Mishee
  
  I don’t get it… Team Underwear Drawer??
  
  Mar 11, 2009 at 10:46 am rating: +1
- #38.3 Phalange
  
  “French” is a race???????
  
  Mar 11, 2009 at 10:57 am rating: +2
- #38.4 Mishee
  
  All I know about the French and races is they have a big one every year that an American seems to win almost every time. (or at least everytime HE enters it)
  
  Ha!
  
  Mar 11, 2009 at 11:12 am rating: +1
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#39 plaster

The handwriting doesn’t look French. The “l” should have a loop in its upper part, the “r” like an upside down “2″. Etc. It looks more Eastern European, but I can’t figure out the “H”, and the capital “I” doesn’t look European at all.
Maybe he was French as in French Guyane.

Mar 12, 2009 at 3:00 am rating: 0

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#40 ShantyM

To use a (near) quote from Olympia Dukakis in the film Steel Magnolias, “[he] has the handwriting of a serial killer.”

Mar 19, 2009 at 2:05 pm rating: 0

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#41 JoeyGirl

that shit is scary!

Mar 23, 2009 at 4:53 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
#42 yours truly? yours goddamn truly?

[...] related: really though — carnations? [...]

Jul 2, 2009 at 12:00 am rating: 0

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It’s all about communication. And toilet paper. (117)
- oi: “long ass, filled with useless crap comment on current topic, completely ignoring the context and or...
- infant tyrone: “complaint that the note isn’t really P-A”
- Critical Grass: “Going back to not so veiled insults, sarcasm and a emoticon to break the awkwardness”...
- oi: “totally sincere and literal interpretation of ironic comment, prompting original commenter to kill...
Way to use those SAT vocab words!!! (93)
- Cal: Wouldn’t buying the yearbook count as fulfilling normalcy? I mean, everyone buys one, so if you wanted to...

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over