“in the staff area of our library, there is a single-stall, co-ed bathroom,” says our anonymous submitter in berkeley, california. everyone got along okay, more or less, until recently, when one of the library’s male employees “left quite a mess behind.” then a female coworker responded with the note below.
and then, well, the lines were drawn.
related: dude kinda has a point
139 responses so far ↓
#1
@my!!
OMG!! Firsties!! On a first time comment!!
I really have nothing of substance to say – the jerkfaced interwebs nerd in me just wanted to claim the all mighty FIRST post and subject myself to endless ridicule by the exquisitely witty Team PA Notes Commenters
Mar 17, 2009 at 5:44 pm rating: +18
#2
Mishee
Wow.
It would’ve been so much better if someone had scrawled “Hammertime” beneath the header for Note #1.
Other than that, I am tired of the bathroom notes.
Mar 17, 2009 at 5:47 pm rating: +13
#3
Mishee
All of the issues addressed are nothing compared to the horrors of fecal mist.
Mar 17, 2009 at 5:52 pm rating: +12
#4
Frankie
What is “Excessive Aggression” supposed to mean?
It makes me sort of nervous.
Mar 17, 2009 at 5:53 pm rating: +2
#5
QuarterRoy00
I love the random capitalization of the 3rd note.
Plus they are sexist…all of those things can/should be used by women (except for the remote control).
Mar 17, 2009 at 5:56 pm rating: +23
#6
Desuko.
Real men don’t flush their excessive aggression. They wear it with pride.
Mar 17, 2009 at 6:03 pm rating: +18
#7
JoelWhy
This note is a clear violation of my 2nd amendment rights!
Mar 17, 2009 at 6:10 pm rating: +3
#8
Tim
Not sure why you wouldn’t want your male employees flushing their excessive aggression. Seems like a win-win all around.
Mar 17, 2009 at 6:14 pm rating: +4
#9
warinthepocket
Well, here’s another comment without substance. Good thing CB hasn’t made her rounds – yet.
Mar 17, 2009 at 6:26 pm rating: +2
#10
Clare K. R. Miller
Women leave messes on the toilet seat too. Those damned “hoverers” ruining it for everyone else.
Mar 17, 2009 at 6:29 pm rating: +13
#11
KatieMB
I just hope it’s ok to flush Patty’s crappy fruit cake down the toilet…
Mar 17, 2009 at 6:43 pm rating: +2
#12
Stitchin-Liz
Why are some women so upset when there’s a little pee on the seat or a skidmark in the bowl? I mean, it’s a TOILET! It’s not like someone left a skidmark on their desk chair!
Team just wipe it up or flip down the seat and shut up already!
Mar 17, 2009 at 7:13 pm rating: +3
#13
mare
I so have to disagree – go ahead – flush your male (or female) aggression; that’s the only fit place for it.
Mar 17, 2009 at 8:55 pm rating: +6
#14
shelley
The men in our library aren’t allowed to use the “ladies”/staff bathroom in our workroom. They are forced to use the public bathrooms. I think my claim that such a practice was sexist fell on deaf ears.
Mar 17, 2009 at 9:15 pm rating: +3
#15
Canthz_B
So, women have given up on the whole equality thing?
Notice how fast a co-ed restroom starts to feel like a ladies room that the guys are allowed to use?
I mean, just because the guy was the last one out of the head doesn’t mean that the mess wasn’t there when he went in.
head
Mar 17, 2009 at 10:43 pm rating: +4
#16
Chinchillazilla
Just commenting to point out that, once again, Comic Sans is proved to be the font of choice for crazies.
Mar 17, 2009 at 11:33 pm rating: +4
#17
MJWalrus
Is “excessive aggression” referring to the tone of the note, or yet another *funny* masculine product that should not be flushed?
Either way, if this chick refers to excessive aggression as a common male product, she needs to break up with her dick wad boyfriend.
Mar 18, 2009 at 1:16 am rating: +3
#18
Canthz_B
I need to deviate from the note to the title (sorry Kerry, you know how muck I love you)…are there duel or multi-sex toilets out there?
Are they roaming the Earth looking for “uni-sex” salons to call home?
“The world wonders.”– Nimitz to Halsey
Mar 18, 2009 at 2:17 am rating: 0
#19
claw71
We had a single restroom in a small office where I worked a few years ago. The walls were nothing but thin wood paneling through which sound could easily travel. To top it off, there was an inexplicable vent in the wall that opened into the front office just above the receptionist’s desk. It was brutal.
We the controller was a 400 pound woman with IBS. She waddled to the rest room a minimum of through times a day. Fortunately she was so fat, her ass created a virtually soundproof seal over the toilet so we were spared the horrific sounds of her gastric struggles. Unfortunately she was a grunter.
She always flushed but because of her condition there were always bits left behind. Sometimes it was orange pulp, other times it was poppy seeds but you just accepted the fact that the first person in after Konnie had to flush the toilet again. You did it without looking because you never knew what might be in the bowl staring back up at you.
The worst restroom culprit was the owner of the company. He smoked cheap cigars and saw no harm in flushing them. Of course this caused periodic overflows and because he was too cheap to call a plumber the issue would go unresolved for days. He was also known to snort coke on the way into work and this would sometimes trigger an explosive bowel movement. One day we noticed that he was wearing exceedingly tight green, acid-washed jeans circa 1984. Britannia, I believe. We mocked his pants until the receptionist went to the restroom and encountered a pair of Dockers that were slathered in excrement. That drug-addled prick shit his pants, managed to find a pair of jeans in a box of old clothes kept handy for use as rags and left the soiled chinos behind for the rest of us to enjoy.
That’s when I decided to invest in adult diapers. I’m more productive because I never need to leave my seat and I don’t have to endure the rampant restroom abuse so many people complain about.
Mar 18, 2009 at 9:05 am rating: +7
#20
amanda
lol to the person above. and also, who in the Sam hell is flushing razors? Maybe razors would meet up with tampons in the large scheme of things (aka the sewage tank) and counteract each other. (Slicing the tampons into distingigratable pieces?) SICK!!
Mar 18, 2009 at 9:43 am rating: +2
#21
CS Harmonikah
Can I flush “adequate aggression” or “reasonable aggression”?
There should be another note determining when it becomes “excessive”
Mar 18, 2009 at 9:58 am rating: +1
#22
CS Harmonikah
And if someone is flushing guns, there is more of a security issue than a courtesy one.
Mar 18, 2009 at 9:59 am rating: +1
#23
Isuck
Since having found this website I carry a sharpie with me and draw a squirting penis on any form of notification.
Mar 18, 2009 at 11:16 am rating: +3
#24
emc
The awkward hand-written replication of comic sans at the bottom of the note is comedy gold.
Mar 18, 2009 at 11:56 am rating: +1
#25
Huggies
Last time someone flushed “Excessive Aggression” down the toilet, everyone had to start throwing their toilet paper in the trash.
Mar 18, 2009 at 3:52 pm rating: +3
#26
heather
“PLEASE do not use Comic Sans in an angry letter! (it makes you look like a child)”
Mar 18, 2009 at 5:48 pm rating: +2
#27
Halley
huh… at my work men only leave drizzles of jizz on the toilet seats. . . that’s what they’re for, right? I mean, why else would they take a dump in the handicap stall in the corner furthest from the toilet. . .
Mar 18, 2009 at 8:11 pm rating: +2
#28
The Stabbing Pen
Sometimes I even courtesy flush for myself when I’m alone at home.
Mar 19, 2009 at 1:20 pm rating: +1
#29
D / DM
I’ve got to ask… what exactly kind of mess was left in the toilet that was so clearly male?
Methinks if there was some really private male business going on in there, it would warrant a more aggressive admonishment than “We don’t want to know your business”… I wouldn’t want to see that kind of business even in the men’s room.
Mar 20, 2009 at 4:07 pm rating: 0
#30
GK
The amount of commenters who aren’t sure if maybe perhaps a female might have been responsible for the “quite a mess” implies that a lot of site newcomers have not yet heard the tale of the mad bomber!
Mar 24, 2009 at 4:34 am rating: 0
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