The case for single-sex toilets

March 17th, 2009 · 139 comments

“In the staff area of our library, there is a single-stall, co-ed bathroom,” says our anonymous submitter in Berkeley, California. Everyone got along okay, more or less, until recently, when one of the library’s male employees “left quite a mess behind.” A female coworker responded with the note below.

Turn around. Did everything flush? Did you wipe the seat and put it back down? Have some common courtesy. We don't want to know your business. Thanks

And then, well, the lines were drawn.

Please DO NOT flush any feminine products in the toilet!

Please also avoid flushing the following Masculine Products in the toilet: Electric razors, Sporting equipment, T.V. remotes, Guns, Excessive Aggression

related: dude kinda has a point

FILED UNDER: battle of the sexes · Berkeley · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · fed-up librarian · office · toilet


139 responses so far ↓

  • #1   @my!!

    OMG!! Firsties!! On a first time comment!!

    I really have nothing of substance to say – the jerkfaced interwebs nerd in me just wanted to claim the all mighty FIRST post and subject myself to endless ridicule by the exquisitely witty Team PA Notes Commenters

    Mar 17, 2009 at 5:44 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Mishee bang

      Wow.

      And even with the little disclaimer up there before you posted and you still hit submit?

      Mar 17, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   @my!!

      Aww yeah, I just throw caution to the wind when it comes to internet disclaimers!

      Mar 17, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   lightspeed

      Firsties? Seriously? I’m so embarrassed for you. I’d like that 10 seconds of my life back. Thanx.

      Hugs,
      lightspeed

      Mar 17, 2009 at 8:51 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   amazon bang

      It took you 10 seconds to read her comment? I’m so embarrassed for you.

      xoxo,
      amazon

      Mar 17, 2009 at 9:42 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   lightspeed

      I had to read it again as I was hoping that they were referring to “fisting” instead of “firsties”. That would have made for a much more interesting read. But I’m sure I don’t have to tell you anything about fisting…

      Mar 17, 2009 at 10:17 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Canthz_B bang

      First is only “all mighty” when you get it and don’t feel the need to state the obvious.
      It also helps if you are first with something to say about the notes.
      It shows that you actually may have thought of something “first”.

      But, you knew all of that when you posted.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 10:38 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Doesn't Pull Out

      Lets not bash on poor @my too much. It is obvious that this “first posting” meant a lot to her, and seems to have fullfilled some deep-seeded internet social need. I am proud of you, @my, for fullfilling your lifes dream. I hope that you are soon able to make it out of your mom’s basement and enjoy a little daylight.
      Yours
      DPO

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:39 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Mishee bang

    Wow.

    It would’ve been so much better if someone had scrawled “Hammertime” beneath the header for Note #1.

    Other than that, I am tired of the bathroom notes.

    Mar 17, 2009 at 5:47 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Sirius bang

      “Hammer Time” was the first thing I thought of too!

      Fight though I must, I find myself inexorably drawn closer and closer to complete Misheeness.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 5:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Mishee bang

      Resistance is futile.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Bunnee

      Or, if someone had written, “Collaborate and listen..”

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:16 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Mishee bang

      Bunnee – you already have the “EE” – you are just one M an I, a S, and a H away from a hostile take over.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   anglophile bang

      …in the name of love?

      *shows her age, again*

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Ti O

      We are all headed towards perfect Mishee™ -ness.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 7:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Hod

      “…or my mom will shoot!”

      First Estelle Getty reference on PAN ever?

      Mar 17, 2009 at 8:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   RandyinReno

      The insanity…

      Mar 17, 2009 at 8:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   amazon bang

      Is there anything xkcd doesn’t have a solution for?
      http://xkcd.com/210/

      Mar 17, 2009 at 9:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   Canthz_B bang

      ♫ “…the love you save may be your own…” ♫

      ♫ “…look, listen to your heart, hear what it’s saying…” ♫

      Mar 17, 2009 at 10:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   jabbadabbaduu

      “… right now, thank you very much,
      I need somebody with the human touch,
      Hey you always on the run,
      Gotta FLUSH it down baby, gotta have some fun…”

      Mar 18, 2009 at 8:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   Bunnee

      Mishee, I can only dream. However, I do prefer takeovers to be gentle, rather than hostile…..you do have that gentle touch, don’t you?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 9:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   Mishee bang

      As if!

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.14   Jojo'sCircus

      No no no not Hammertime. It’s Vanilla Ice you are thinking of….. All right stop collaborate and listen, Ice is back with my brand new invention….

      Mar 18, 2009 at 1:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.15   Mishee bang

      Jojo, I am well versed in ALL of the “Rap Light” of the early 90′s.

      That was where I was going with that.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 2:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.16   Bunnee

      We’re way ahead of you, Jojo. See my remark in 2.3. By the way, my son used to LOVE your show….(“Hey, Jojo, what do you say? We all want to know what you learned today!)

      Mar 18, 2009 at 2:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Mishee bang

    All of the issues addressed are nothing compared to the horrors of fecal mist.

    Mar 17, 2009 at 5:52 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Frankie bang

      I am just as surprised as Mish that nothing is being done or said on the “matter” of fecal mist. Are these people immune to its “privy”

      Mar 17, 2009 at 5:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Mark bang

      Yeah, you really shouldn’t flush your toothbrush either. It’s already covered in fecal mist anyway. Mythbusters proved it.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Ti O

      If you tip portalets they will spray the fecal stew everywhere. They proved that on mythbusters.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 7:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Andy

      The funny thing about fecal mist jokes is how closely they’re starting to resemble a dead horse being savagely beaten.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 10:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Mishee bang

      Perhaps it is just our way of passive protest to the sheer amount of toilet notes on the site?

      *not that it matters… whatever the Goddess decides is “The Way” and will be accepted*

      Yeah, its old, but its no “fucking delicious”.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Frankie bang

    What is “Excessive Aggression” supposed to mean?

    It makes me sort of nervous.

    Mar 17, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   RandyinReno

      As far as I am concerned, there is only adequate, or inadequate aggression.

      It’s okay Frankie, aggression is our friend here…

      Mar 17, 2009 at 8:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Thanks!

      Excessive aggression can give you hemorrhoids. ;)

      Mar 17, 2009 at 10:17 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Frankie bang

      I’m just saying.. When I feel “excessively aggressive” I masturbate. So I’m concerned as to what I believe the aforementioned “excessive aggression” that’s not being flushed is. Because that’s just nasty.

      I masturbate.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 10:12 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   QuarterRoy00 bang

    I love the random capitalization of the 3rd note.

    Plus they are sexist…all of those things can/should be used by women (except for the remote control).

    Mar 17, 2009 at 5:56 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   KatieMB bang

      I know, I had to flush my gun down the toilet once… pissed me off.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:48 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Ti O

      Happiness is a warm gun bang bang shoot shoot
      NOT a flushed gun. Just saying.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 7:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   KatieMB bang

      So glad someone understands!! *looks at Ti O adoringly*

      Mar 17, 2009 at 7:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   karla

      Ti O,
      I think you’re the one that wrote to Postsecret this week.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Ti O bang

      Now I need to go look at PS and see what I wrote Karla.

      I don’t even know how that was possible for the PS writer to do. There are a lot of sharp pointy bits on a gun unless she used a shotgun barrel. :shock: But then that would be rather unwieldy wouldn’t it?

      Mar 19, 2009 at 11:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Desuko.

    Real men don’t flush their excessive aggression. They wear it with pride.

    Mar 17, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Frankie bang

      If you mean “excessive aggression” the way that I mean “excessive aggression” than we just took your comment to another level.

      see man!

      Mar 19, 2009 at 10:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   JoelWhy

    This note is a clear violation of my 2nd amendment rights!

    Mar 17, 2009 at 6:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Mark bang

      The right to flush arms?
      The right to have a fine layer of fecal mist all over your guns?

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:15 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Mark bang

      BTW, JoelWhy, I love your gravatar. I see you’ve been touched by His Noodley Appendage.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   JoelWhy

      He DID touch me with His Noodley Appendage! I reported him to child services, but they refused to intervene.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:45 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Meesh

      Show me on the doll where the FSM touched you.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:05 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Saysh bang

      Do I have to use the doll?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 6:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Tim

    Not sure why you wouldn’t want your male employees flushing their excessive aggression. Seems like a win-win all around.

    Mar 17, 2009 at 6:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Mishee bang

      Well, if you think about it, it could be a metaphor or possibly just a code word….

      Its possible that they just don’t like the men wasting all their steroids.

      I mean, that shit costs cash money, yo!

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   warinthepocket

    Well, here’s another comment without substance. Good thing CB hasn’t made her rounds – yet.

    Mar 17, 2009 at 6:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Mishee bang

      Yeah, I won’t want to see what happens when CB gets up on her high horse!

      Geez, she is such a bitch, I bet you she is white!

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:33 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   anglophile bang

      I think she’s a fat Asian chick, or possibly Jewish. Definitely fat, though.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:43 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Mark bang

      Probably a hermaphroditic albino aborigine.
      Probably obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.
      But yeah, definitely fat.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:58 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Ti O

      Probably dull, and boring, and omnipresent. She probably criticizes things she doesn’t know about too.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 7:12 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   mamason bang

      I’ve heard that she’s a racist cat eater.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 7:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   mamason bang

      And by that I mean she only eats white pussies.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 7:23 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   se

      I know for a FACT that she is huge and only likes skinny white men.
      Isn’t everything posted on the internet a fact?

      Mar 17, 2009 at 7:39 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   RandyinReno

      And no fried chicken.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 9:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   aaa

      Hey Mark, I’m the hermaphroditic albino round these parts!

      But I thought CB was a twelve-year-old Asian Elvis impersonator working Vegas. I heard she was pretty good at rocking the ‘burns…

      Mar 17, 2009 at 9:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   Thanks!

      Fat chics give good blow-jobs, right? I mean I am a girl, and not fat, but that’s what I hear…you know, word on the street.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 10:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.11   Canthz_B bang

      You know you’ve made the big time when you don’t even have to be here to be hazed! :-P

      *weeps with joy… * :cry:

      Mar 17, 2009 at 10:20 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.12   nonamejewishchick

      le sigh, why blame the jews? we aren’t even a major population anymore. blame the damn librarians. they spray fecal mist everywhere.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 11:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.13   Holiday Djinn

      Why blame the jews? Are you serious? I mean there are so many good old stereotypes floating around in which to work with. Seriously, if we have to stop picking on the jews then we have to go back to picking on black people. That is just awkward with a black president.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 6:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.14   Canthz_B bang

      I say stick to the Jews. I don’t wanna go through that shit again…even with a Black President! :-P

      Mar 18, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.15   Sirius bang

      Yeah, what she ^ said.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Clare K. R. Miller

    Women leave messes on the toilet seat too. Those damned “hoverers” ruining it for everyone else.

    Mar 17, 2009 at 6:29 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   mamason bang

      I never hover. That way , when I come home with the inevitable STD, I can tell Papa I got it from a toilet seat.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 6:39 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Thanks!

      Go, go, go! In your hover round!

      Mar 17, 2009 at 10:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   MJWalrus

      God. Can women take a piss, ever, without pissing all over the seat????

      Mar 18, 2009 at 1:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   aaa

      Men and women are equal opportunity seat-pissers. The only difference is that men seem to get it on the floor, too. I must say, navigating those piss puddles always provides an adventurous challenge when the women’s single toilet crapper is occupied.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 2:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   oh really

      Oh definitely, women are hell on public restrooms. Unless there was undeniable proof that a man was responsible for the mess in question that kicked off this PAN chain, then I’d lay even odds that a woman was responsible for the mess at hand. I’ve gone into stalls in the women’s room and found seats covered in urine drops, puddles on the floor around the base of the toilet, floaters, even brown streaks on the seat. And that’s not even getting into the sanitary product debris. There must be something about a bathroom we don’t have to clean that causes some women to just lose their mind and trash the place.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 3:34 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Holiday Djinn

      Women in public restrooms are somewhat akin to Led Zeppelin in hotels during the 70′s. The place gets trashed, there are plenty of liqour and hard drugs around. Panties flying about, and of course a sleazy biker looking in on the whole thing.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 7:05 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   Sirius bang

      To say nothing of the Mud Shark.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   aaa

      Are we allowed to flush those down the toilet?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.9   agatha christie

      I heard that hovering only causes you to not fully empty your bladder (something about your peeing muscles being used to hover instead) and therefore causes accidental leakage.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 5:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.10   Mishee bang

      I don’t get why women hover.

      There is less bacteria per inch on a public toilet seat than on a phone handset.

      Team Wipe the Fucking Seat and Pee You Fucking Crackheads!

      Mar 18, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.11   Ti O bang

      That sleazy biker looking in is Mishee’s mom. leave her out of this! :lol:

      Mar 19, 2009 at 12:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.12   Beanster bang

      agatha, thank you for providing me an excuse to opt for laziness over cleanliness. you can’t enjoy a good pee with the hover.

      what kind of germs are getting in through your thighs anyways?

      Mar 19, 2009 at 10:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   KatieMB bang

    I just hope it’s ok to flush Patty’s crappy fruit cake down the toilet…

    Mar 17, 2009 at 6:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Ti O

      Oh that dirty bad Patty just likes to be spanked and have that fruit cake smeared all over her bad bad ass.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 7:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   KatieMB bang

      She’s my idol.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 7:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Stitchin-Liz

    Why are some women so upset when there’s a little pee on the seat or a skidmark in the bowl? I mean, it’s a TOILET! It’s not like someone left a skidmark on their desk chair!

    Team just wipe it up or flip down the seat and shut up already!

    Mar 17, 2009 at 7:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   aaa

      So I take it you’re a hoverer whose feces rate about a 4 or 5 on the Bristol Stool Chart.

      Mar 17, 2009 at 9:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Canthz_B bang

      Bristol Stool Chart makes me think of the load of shit Sarah Palin tried to get us to swallow about how in love and ready to marry Bristol and Baby-Daddy were.
      I’d be willing to bet all I have (plus some AIG money) that he (BD, not Sarah) voted for Obama! :-P

      Mar 18, 2009 at 1:14 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   oh really

      Because sitting on someone else’s pee isn’t their idea of a good time? I’m not talking pee on the rim underneath the seat when guys use the toilet that you can just flip the seat down and it’s out of sight, out of mind. I’m talking women hovering over the flipped down toilet seat and not having good aim, so they pee all over the seat, then they flush and leave, with their pee all over the seat, for the next woman in the stall to deal with either sitting in if she doesn’t look first, wiping up if she doesn’t want to hover or sit in it, or hover if she doens’t want to wipe up someone else’s urine. And as for the skid mark I’m referring to, I roomed in college with a girl who hovered when she dropped deuces, too, and I’ve encountered that idiocy in a public stall here and there, those “skidmarks” aren’t in the toilet bowl, where one reasonably can expect to find them every now and then, the hovercrap skidmark is right there on the seat.
      And I’m team wipe it up, too, as in “wipe up your own damn product if you have a burning need to hover and pee or crap all over a public toilet seat.”

      Mar 18, 2009 at 3:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   mare

    I so have to disagree – go ahead – flush your male (or female) aggression; that’s the only fit place for it.

    Mar 17, 2009 at 8:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   shelley

    The men in our library aren’t allowed to use the “ladies”/staff bathroom in our workroom. They are forced to use the public bathrooms. I think my claim that such a practice was sexist fell on deaf ears.

    Mar 17, 2009 at 9:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    So, women have given up on the whole equality thing?
    Notice how fast a co-ed restroom starts to feel like a ladies room that the guys are allowed to use?
    I mean, just because the guy was the last one out of the head doesn’t mean that the mess wasn’t there when he went in.

    head

    Mar 17, 2009 at 10:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Saysh bang

      You called??

      Mar 18, 2009 at 2:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Canthz_B bang

      I knew that would get you back here!! :-P

      They were picking on me in my absence.

      I almost had hurt feelings…well, maybe…I’m not sure what that’s like! :twisted:

      Mar 18, 2009 at 2:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Saysh bang

      Yes, my love. You know me so very well. I heard that from a distance and raced here to see you…

      Well, if your feelings got hurt, I’d kiss them all better :twisted: Wait, I never you knew you named it “Feelings”.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 2:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Canthz_B bang

      He is Legion, Saysh!
      He goes by many names…but always me! :evil:

      Mar 18, 2009 at 2:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   Saysh bang

      Well.. whatever his name…

      GIMME!

      Mar 18, 2009 at 2:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   CB2

      Wow, CB, you’re slipping. I think you meant ladies’ room.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 10:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.7   Frankie bang

      How many restroom doors have you seen with
      “Ladies’ ”
      printed on them?

      “CB2″ YOU ARE FAIL!

      Mar 18, 2009 at 10:38 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.8   aaa

      Awww, I feel left out since I don’t have my own personal troll. I killed mine after I only had it for a day… :c

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.9   Mishee bang

      *thought that aaa was MY troll*

      *gently weeps*

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:03 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.10   aaa

      Even trolls need trolls, Mishee. As a first level troll, it’s my right as an American to have my own troll. A second level troll, i.e. my troll, doesn’t have that privelege, however.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.11   Mishee bang

      Ahhh. Gotta love the caste system!

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.12   Saysh bang

      I certainly HOPE that no one was referring to ME as a troll.

      I’m CB’s Creepy Imaginary Internet Fiance. Get it right.

      however, if anyone wants to apply for a position as MY troll, I may get around to reading your application after I service CB…

      Mar 18, 2009 at 6:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.13   Canthz_B bang

      It is a ladies room. A room used by ladies.
      The ladies do not own the room, so no apostrophe is used to denote possession.
      At least that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!

      Excuse me now…I need to go to the men’s room! :-P

      Mar 18, 2009 at 8:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Chinchillazilla

    Just commenting to point out that, once again, Comic Sans is proved to be the font of choice for crazies.

    Mar 17, 2009 at 11:33 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe because it’s a little bit twisted?

      Who’da’thunkit?…Minds think in fonts!

      I’m sure there’s a government grant in there somewhere!

      Mar 18, 2009 at 1:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Geek Goddesss

      It is more likely that excessive Comic Sans use results in insanity.

      And XKCD comes through again:

      http://xkcd.com/552/

      Mar 18, 2009 at 2:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Beanster bang

      but comic sans is such an approachable font! it’s like kindergarten, full of sharing and devoid of serifs and aggression – making the aggressive note all the more passive.

      Writer’s like, “People will think I’m being nice because my font choice is so friendly. Now I can be as bitchy as I want.”

      Layers.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:38 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   MJWalrus

    Is “excessive aggression” referring to the tone of the note, or yet another *funny* masculine product that should not be flushed?

    Either way, if this chick refers to excessive aggression as a common male product, she needs to break up with her dick wad boyfriend.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 1:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      He told her that bruises is how people get tattoos. Gotta love a blonde! :-P

      Mar 18, 2009 at 2:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   aaa

      Mayhap it would be beneficial to remove the porcupine from your anus before reading the PANs?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 2:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   CB2

      Bruises is or bruises are, CB?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 10:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Frankie bang

      seriously? “CB2″? I smell MW…

      Mar 18, 2009 at 10:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Mishee bang

      CB is black.

      That’s how they talk.

      Get over it.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 10:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Sirius bang

      We be CB?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 12:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Mishee bang

      Word.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 12:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    I need to deviate from the note to the title (sorry Kerry, you know how muck I love you)…are there duel or multi-sex toilets out there?
    Are they roaming the Earth looking for “uni-sex” salons to call home?

    “The world wonders.”– Nimitz to Halsey

    Mar 18, 2009 at 2:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Phalange

      “Duel toilets”? Those sound awesome, who doesn’t enjoy a fight to the death amongst porcelain waste receptacles?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 8:12 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Weaselbaby

      “Duel” toilets? Is that like Dueling Banjos, except with more fecal mist?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 8:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Canthz_B bang

      Meh…forgot my own advice about drunken posting…don’t do it kids! :-P

      Mar 18, 2009 at 9:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   claw71 bang

    We had a single restroom in a small office where I worked a few years ago. The walls were nothing but thin wood paneling through which sound could easily travel. To top it off, there was an inexplicable vent in the wall that opened into the front office just above the receptionist’s desk. It was brutal.

    We the controller was a 400 pound woman with IBS. She waddled to the rest room a minimum of through times a day. Fortunately she was so fat, her ass created a virtually soundproof seal over the toilet so we were spared the horrific sounds of her gastric struggles. Unfortunately she was a grunter.

    She always flushed but because of her condition there were always bits left behind. Sometimes it was orange pulp, other times it was poppy seeds but you just accepted the fact that the first person in after Konnie had to flush the toilet again. You did it without looking because you never knew what might be in the bowl staring back up at you.

    The worst restroom culprit was the owner of the company. He smoked cheap cigars and saw no harm in flushing them. Of course this caused periodic overflows and because he was too cheap to call a plumber the issue would go unresolved for days. He was also known to snort coke on the way into work and this would sometimes trigger an explosive bowel movement. One day we noticed that he was wearing exceedingly tight green, acid-washed jeans circa 1984. Britannia, I believe. We mocked his pants until the receptionist went to the restroom and encountered a pair of Dockers that were slathered in excrement. That drug-addled prick shit his pants, managed to find a pair of jeans in a box of old clothes kept handy for use as rags and left the soiled chinos behind for the rest of us to enjoy.

    That’s when I decided to invest in adult diapers. I’m more productive because I never need to leave my seat and I don’t have to endure the rampant restroom abuse so many people complain about.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 9:05 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Beanster bang

      other than some glaring grammatical flaws and sentences that change direction half way through (We the controller was a 400 pound woman with IBS??) this story is a gem. or a nightmare. this is like the Showcase version of the Office. I want to submit this whole story to PAN because I assume claw’s coworkers read the site and this is his/her way of letting them know that s/he is onto them. “Britannia, I believe. Thanks so Much! *smile!* XD”

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:44 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   amanda

    lol to the person above. and also, who in the Sam hell is flushing razors? Maybe razors would meet up with tampons in the large scheme of things (aka the sewage tank) and counteract each other. (Slicing the tampons into distingigratable pieces?) SICK!!

    Mar 18, 2009 at 9:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   CS Harmonikah

    Can I flush “adequate aggression” or “reasonable aggression”?

    There should be another note determining when it becomes “excessive”

    Mar 18, 2009 at 9:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   CS Harmonikah

    And if someone is flushing guns, there is more of a security issue than a courtesy one.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 9:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Isuck

    Since having found this website I carry a sharpie with me and draw a squirting penis on any form of notification.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 11:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Mishee bang

      *hopes it is a pink sharpie*

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Beanster bang

      can you also carry around Lisa Frank stickers to make the notes more endearing?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Bunnee

      Is it just me, or was there another comment here yesterday from Isuck that is now gone? Something about having Jungle Fever and using a black sharpie?

      Mar 19, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Mishee bang

      Bunnee, you are quite observant.

      Maybe CB complained.

      She gets so offended when people talk about black cock since she has never seen one before…

      *waits for this post to get deleted now*

      Mar 19, 2009 at 11:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   Beanster bang

      i’m sad it’s gone. i felt so special getting replied to as a newb.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 10:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   emc

    The awkward hand-written replication of comic sans at the bottom of the note is comedy gold.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 11:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Beanster bang

      i’m a huge fan of replicated fonts. (see “really though… carnations?”)

      they show such effort and pent up… excessive aggression.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 10:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Huggies

    Last time someone flushed “Excessive Aggression” down the toilet, everyone had to start throwing their toilet paper in the trash.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 3:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   heather

    “PLEASE do not use Comic Sans in an angry letter! (it makes you look like a child)”

    Mar 18, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Halley

    huh… at my work men only leave drizzles of jizz on the toilet seats. . . that’s what they’re for, right? I mean, why else would they take a dump in the handicap stall in the corner furthest from the toilet. . .

    Mar 18, 2009 at 8:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   The Stabbing Pen

    Sometimes I even courtesy flush for myself when I’m alone at home.

    Mar 19, 2009 at 1:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Beanster bang

      clearly environmentalism isn’t your biggest concern. but whatever. today my boyfriend threw out dishes and bought paper so he didn’t have to wash them.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 10:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   D / DM

    I’ve got to ask… what exactly kind of mess was left in the toilet that was so clearly male?

    Methinks if there was some really private male business going on in there, it would warrant a more aggressive admonishment than “We don’t want to know your business”… I wouldn’t want to see that kind of business even in the men’s room.

    Mar 20, 2009 at 4:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   GK

    The amount of commenters who aren’t sure if maybe perhaps a female might have been responsible for the “quite a mess” implies that a lot of site newcomers have not yet heard the tale of the mad bomber!

    Mar 24, 2009 at 4:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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