The ripped-off tabs are what get me

March 18th, 2009 · 154 comments

Veronica spotted this gloriously expressive exercise in futility stapled to a telephone pole near her home in San Francisco. I totally forgive the double p in “apartment,” because dude,  I know exactly how you feel.

Also, the idea of someone ripping off one of those tabs and going, “Why yes, I will fuck myself!” is just really tickling me right now.

FUCK YOU You stole our laptops from our appartment [sic], but I'm sure you needed them all, right? The pillow case you took them in, keep it. But the laptops, come on. What a fucking jerk.

related: untitled (broken glass)

FILED UNDER: California · CAPS LOCK · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · San Francisco · stealing


154 responses so far ↓

  • #1   zchamu

    I always like the notes posted, but this is the first one in a while that actually made me snort. +10 for creativity on the tear-offs. Am totally going to use that.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 3:30 pm   rating: 74  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   warinthepocket

    First off, are you a woman or a man? I’m going for woman here.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 3:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   NoExit

      I concur. A man would go months before realizing his pillowcase was missing.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 3:45 pm   rating: 78  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Mishee bang

      Men use pillowcases?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:11 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Mark bang

      Socks work much better. Only John Holmes would need a pillowcase.

      Wait, what were we talking about?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:18 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   claw71 bang

      I use pillowcases! Granted, I tend to pull them over the heads of teenaged girls second after I taze them. I prefer a high thread count and find that high quality percale sheets don’t leave fibers behind.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:55 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   QuarterRoy00 bang

      I only use pillowcases when I’m biting the pillows…who knows what’s on those things!

      Mar 18, 2009 at 5:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Saysh bang

      Claw -

      You just gave away what a sweetheart you are. You really use the high thread count ones because it is so much softer for us :twisted:

      Mar 18, 2009 at 7:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Ti O bang

      What are pillowcases? :???:

      Mar 19, 2009 at 9:47 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   KatieMB bang

      The things covering the pillows I bite…

      Mar 19, 2009 at 7:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Doug

      Haha! I knew you were a pillow-biter!

      Mar 19, 2009 at 8:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   KatieMB bang

      Yeah well it’s that or deal with the neighbors complaining about the noise. Damn nosey neighbors…

      Mar 19, 2009 at 8:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   Doug

      Yeah my roommates has the same complaints about me…

      Mar 20, 2009 at 12:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   unholyghost2003 bang

    hmmm Does the their really need to be instructed to keep the pillowcase? I’m pretty sure s/he was planning on keeping it all.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 3:32 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   TheOldSchool

      While the thief’s actions were clearly wrong-headed, there is no excuse for the victim’s use of name-calling (“jerk”) and profanity (“fuck you”) in the flyer.

      I’m guessing that the pillow case definitely would have been laundered and returned, had the victim not chosen to lash out in such an unnecessarily vicious and juvenile manner.

      Now, sadly, the odds of the pillow case being returned are 50-50, at best.

      What’s more, even if the thief has an intuitive empathy for the raw emotional turmoil felt by victims of theft, and decides to magnanimously overlook the hurtful comments and return the pillow case, if I were the victim, I certainly would NOT be expecting that the pillow case would be coming back to me freshly laundered.

      After my insolent outburst on the flyer, I’d feel embarrassed about exposing myself to the world as being nothing more than a foul-mouthed hot-head with no control over the basest of my puerile instincts.

      Mar 22, 2009 at 3:34 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   KatieMB bang

      I relish the thought of exposing myself to the world as being nothing more than a foul-mouthed hot-head with no control over the basest of my puerile instincts. Actually it’s the top item on my TO DO for tomorrow.

      Mar 22, 2009 at 4:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Paige

    I’d take the tabs just to hand them out on the street. Then again, I’m a total cow.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 3:33 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   sarcastic monkey

      I’ve been wondering how large you were. Now we know.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 6:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Mishee bang

      We all know that Paige is a fat girl’s name.

      Oh wait. Sorry… that’s Claire.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 10:10 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   KatieMB bang

      Yay Breakfast Club reference!

      Mar 19, 2009 at 8:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Doug

    This isn’t fair. Nobody takes my tabs when I’m trying to sell something, but they’ll take Fuck you tabs!

    Mar 18, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Mishee bang

      Quit trying to sell your children to the black market and they might.

      Or just try craigslist. You can sell ANYTHING there.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:03 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Lorelie

      I stuck my kids in a cardboard box, wrote “free puppies” on it, and stuck them out on the corner. And they were *still* there when I walked by three days later.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:32 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   KatieMB bang

      Dang!

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   QuarterRoy00 bang

      I didn’t know the Octomom had an account on here! Welcome Nadya!

      Mar 18, 2009 at 5:34 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   warinthepocket

      When your kids are that ugly, it’s no surprise. If you confused them for dogs, what did others think they were?

      Mar 19, 2009 at 1:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   D / DM

      @Lorelie:

      Did someone at least kick them? Even a puppy at least deserves that.

      Mar 20, 2009 at 4:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Monkey Speaks bang

      kicking puppies = never funny

      Mar 20, 2009 at 5:13 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   D / DM

      That’s because you’re not doing it right.

      Mar 20, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   Monkeyspeaks

      No. Actually its just not funny….

      Mar 20, 2009 at 6:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Melissa

    Let’s see… FUCKYOU = 382-5968

    Yes, hello, I’m calling to return the stolen laptop?

    Mar 18, 2009 at 3:48 pm   rating: 52  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   KatieMB bang

      *cough* Let me know if that approah works…

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Ti O bang

      I will add that to my phone book right under Jenny’s number 867-5309.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 9:48 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   KatieMB bang

      And where do you have my phone numbe, Ti O?

      Mar 19, 2009 at 8:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Ti O

      in a Very special place! :wink:

      Mar 20, 2009 at 11:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   D / DM

      Apparently the “FUC” prefix is not in my area code…

      Mar 20, 2009 at 4:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   KatieMB bang

      *blush*

      Mar 22, 2009 at 4:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Thanks!

    Love it!

    I love to fuck myself, so I’d probably take a tab.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 3:50 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Frankie bang

      Sometimes I will drink tab. If there’s no other kind of pop around.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Mishee bang

      WTF is pop?

      I’ll pop you missy!

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Frankie bang

      I’m from OKLAHOMA! soda. sorry.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Mishee bang

      I know.

      Its not your fault.

      Not everyone is perfect.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Canthz_B bang

      Frankie, I’m a pop, wanna have a go at my straw? :twisted:

      Mar 19, 2009 at 8:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Griffen P.

      LoLZ @ CANTHZ b!!

      sTITCHes, I am in!

      Mar 19, 2009 at 11:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Huggies

    Wait ’til they notice the hole in their diaphragms. We could be waiting a few more months for that sign, though.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 3:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Frankie bang

      I like to breathe from my diaphragm when I’m singing.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      let me breathe through your diaphragm, and you’ll REALLY sing!

      Mar 20, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Frankie bang

    Stupid question maybe but, how’d he get them cool dots around the top “FUCK YOU”?

    It reminds me of broadway lights!

    Mar 18, 2009 at 3:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Mishee bang

      Well, you never know Franks…

      Wicked is in town right now!

      *going on Saturday night – yay!*

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Doug

      I think they just put periods the line above and below it…

      Mar 20, 2009 at 1:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Mishee bang

    Jesus Christ, how many fucking laptops do they have?

    Don’t worry honey, you will be able to buy them back in about a month off the back of a truck…

    Mar 18, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Lorelie

      Well, there’s the school laptop, the work laptop, and the one for porn.

      Oh, and the one for donkey porn. That one’s kinda dirty. It’s not allowed to play with the other laptops.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:33 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   KatieMB bang

      You forgot monkey porn.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 5:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Ti O

      Then there is the flying monkey porn laptop * NOW WITH MORE FECES! * which is frightening the other laptops. The Germans love that the most.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 9:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Mishee bang

    I wonder if they had to go to Kinkos to make the signs since, you know, they have no laptops anymore.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 4:02 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Monkeyspeaks

      I was wondering the same thing. If they stole ALL the laptops then how did they print that sign?

      Unless they went to their neighbors apt and borrowed their stolen laptops to make it

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Geek Goddess

      You are assuming that the only computers they have are laptops. Of course, if the thief carried them off in a pillowcase, the desktop computers wouldn’t fit. (Unless they were kingsize pillowcases, then it would depend on how many laptops they had in there first.)

      Mar 18, 2009 at 5:25 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Joe bang

      @Geek Goddess: Common thieves solving the NP-complete knapsack problem? What is this, the felony version of Good Will Hunting?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Mark bang

      +1 to Joe for obscure math/computer humor.

      Of course, they could be Pillowcases of Holding. Then you could fit, what, 10 cf of material I think it is? That would be at least 100 laptops.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 6:43 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Resident Grammarian esq bang

      I think they went and stole a laptop from someone else, and left the pillowcase behind.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 6:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Ti O bang

      Mark I cannot give you an Joe enough points for that. I have to go join Hilbert for a cigar at the Grand Hotel now.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 9:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Geek Goddess

      *Adores Joe and Mark for taking my somewhat banal comment and moving it into something higher*

      Mar 19, 2009 at 1:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Ti O bang

      But couldn’t the laptops still be in the apartment and also in the pillowcase at the same time?

      Mar 19, 2009 at 7:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   Mark bang

      Not if they’re Pillowcases of Holding. Technically, they would be in an extradimensional space, a “pocket plane” as it were, not in the apartment.

      Of course, the PoH could then be placed into a Portable Hole, that’s always good for a laugh.

      /geek

      Mar 19, 2009 at 7:31 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   Ti O bang

      I used to play pocket plane…but that is where I keep my extradimensional girlfriend. :lol:

      Mar 19, 2009 at 7:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.11   Lorelie

      Is that kinda like pocket pool, but with a partner?

      Mar 20, 2009 at 11:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   claw71 bang

    Yeah, because the person who burgled those laptops is going to see this and say, “Jeez, I didn’t realize people would be this upset.”

    I bet he took one of those tabs as a reminder. Not of the theft…he’s got the laptops for that…no, he took one of those tabs so he can bask in the glow of your simmering, unrequited rage. Fuck you, my friend, fuck you indeed.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 4:47 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Monkeyspeaks

      hehe burgled.

      That always makes me think of the HamBurgler

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:54 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Beanster bang

      thank you for using the word “burgled”. the “rape! burgle! murder!” note of a few days ago is still fresh in my mind and you, claw, have just brought it to life all over again.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   KatieMB bang

      I am wondering why the vitim(s) didn’t leave a name or address or phone number or twitter or…. something to identify themselves? How will the thief know WHICH burgled laptops to return?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 5:07 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Mishee bang

    Methinks they took a tab for each laptop stolen.

    Then taped one to the lid of each.

    As a reminder.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 5:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Ti O bang

      Am I the only old fuck here that thinks “dropping acid” when you say, “took a tab”?

      Mar 19, 2009 at 9:55 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Mishee bang

      No. You don’t have to be an old fuck to think that.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 10:22 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Bunnee

      Just an old druggie.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 1:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Ti O bang

      Awwww :sad:

      Mar 19, 2009 at 1:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   mamason bang

      Don’t be trippin’, Timo! ;-)

      Mar 19, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   Ti O bang

      brzzzzzzckt * “Attention do not take the rootbeer brown acid. If you have and are on a bad trip have one of your three headed friends take you to any one of the chillout tents. That is all”* zzzzzzchkt

      Mar 19, 2009 at 2:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   Bunnee

      Timo, don’t feel bad. I belong to that prestigious club and I thought I found another member.

      *member*

      Mar 19, 2009 at 3:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.8   Ti O bang

      * long standing Club Member*

      Mar 19, 2009 at 5:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   FurryThomas

    No amount of laptops would save this person from their own atrocious spelling.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 5:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Resident Grammarian esq bang

      Here here, but I have to be pedantic because of my user name. What’s your excuse?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 6:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   claw71 bang

      Well, RG esquire, you suck. Here here?

      Unless you can provide a thoughtful explanation for using here instead of hear– as hear hear is the proper expression–I regret that I have no choice but to report this infraction to the Internal Affairs Division of the Grammar Police Department.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 12:50 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Mishee bang

      Maybe RG, Esq was telling you where to go as I often do??

      Here, here!!

      *points down to my “special spot”*

      Mar 19, 2009 at 12:59 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   se

      well,well, looks like I’m FIRST in line this time.

      That second well above was not an echo.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 1:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   Andy

      And HERE I thought RG was being ironic.

      Mar 20, 2009 at 9:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   QuarterRoy00 bang

    Maybe the poster didn’t own any computers and the robbers chopped off the top of their thighs…I’d be super-caps-lock pissed too!

    Mar 18, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Frankie bang

      Why the tops of their thighs?

      I used to jump off my bed face first when I was a kid.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   QuarterRoy00 bang

      Because the tops of their thighs would be their “lap top”…

      Do I have to do everything around here?

      Mar 21, 2009 at 12:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   burglemoster

    Those laptops were fucking delicious.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 6:27 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Mishee bang

      Did you forget an “N” in your screen name?

      Oh yeah, and here’s your Unitard. Its made just for people like you. Yes, the Unitarded.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 6:31 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   QuarterRoy00 bang

      you said “uni”…

      Mar 18, 2009 at 6:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Monkeyspeaks

      Will that joke NEVER be buried!!!!

      This is me, shooting that joke and burying (sp?) six feet under.

      Please pay your last respects and say GOODBYE to the FD joke

      Mar 18, 2009 at 7:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Monkeyspeaks

      Wait, so unitards AREN’T cool?

      Damn, I need to go return the threepack I got at walmart. Those door greeters were just so friendly and spiffy looking in their unitards I had to get one.

      OH well. Lesson learned.

      Mar 18, 2009 at 7:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   Geek Goddess

      Monkey, do we send flowers, or is there a charity to donate to?

      Mar 18, 2009 at 8:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   Ti O

      Zombie jokes!!! :shock:

      Mar 18, 2009 at 9:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   zombieBlanco bang

      :wink: can’t go wrong with those!

      Mar 18, 2009 at 11:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.8   5th Grade Mentality

      That funeral was fucking delicious.

      That unitard was fucking delicious too.

      The zombies were extra fucking delicious.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 9:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.9   Zombie

      Your brains were fucking delicious.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 9:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.10   AuntyBron

      The FD joke will never die. That’s because we are by definition a passive-aggressive lot. Whenever one of us complains about the FD, it incites others to carry it over. If several of us complain – BONUS.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 10:59 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.11   claw71 bang

      That bonus was fucking delicious.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.12   mamason bang

      I’ve always loved FD. I think FD is FD. I also think there should be a reward for best usage and demerits for improper or poor usage. I’d like to do away with the unitard. It is not FD. It’s all stretched out and we’ll never get that stain out.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 2:37 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.13   Ti O bang

      You’re FD mama! :wink:

      Mar 19, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.14   mamason bang

      :oops: Why, thank you, Timo. I find you quite tasty as well. ;-)

      Mar 19, 2009 at 3:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.15   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      If you’re going to bury the unitard, I’ve got a pillowcase we can pass around instead. Just let me get my new laptops out of it first!

      Mar 20, 2009 at 3:11 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.16   Andy

      This thread is fabulously delectable!

      Mar 20, 2009 at 9:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   too late but anyway

    yeah come on, make return trip to give those laptops back, don’t you know only those laptops have our precious spell check?

    Mar 18, 2009 at 7:16 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Frankie bang

      Have you ever known anyone named Precious?
      Super creepy.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Mishee bang

      It puts the lotion on its skin/Or else it gets the hose again.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:14 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   too late but anyway

      named precious? sound like pet’s name.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 11:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   BAM

    It reminds me of this article:

    http://www.switched.com/2008/11/14/why-you-should-never-try-to-steal-a-law-students-laptop/?rss

    Mar 18, 2009 at 7:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Frankie bang

      Your name reminds me of when I used to jump off of beds face first.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Frankie bang

      And Bam Margera.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Mishee bang

      Funny, I was thinking of Pebbles’ little boyfriend.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   nicole

    God, I wish I had thought of that when the douche who stole my old laptop (and 3 others in my landlord’s 2 buildings) ran away with mine. Joke was on him though…it was a Dell.

    Mar 18, 2009 at 8:32 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Frankie bang

      I usually get the salami and peperoni when I go to the Deli.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Ti O

      I wish I was giving you the salami!

      BAM, Hey-ooooo!

      Mar 20, 2009 at 11:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Mishee bang

      Comon Ti O – kick it up a notch!

      Mar 20, 2009 at 12:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

    Um, the notewriter is instructing the thief to (a) keep the pillowcase, (b) fuck him-or-herself, and (c) come on the laptops? Grammarian, a ruling?

    Mar 18, 2009 at 8:44 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Frankie bang

      My gramma makes me cookies when I’m sad.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Ti O

      Garlic makes my feet stink.

      Mar 20, 2009 at 11:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Canthz_B bang

    A few of these tabs would come in handy for young men and women who frequent those loud clubs. Instead of shouting at someone they are trying to pick up, they could just slip them one of these babies.
    I’d suggest they add a question mark, or things could get ugly in a hurry!

    Mar 18, 2009 at 9:35 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Saysh bang

      If you are asking, you KNOW the answer is yes.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 12:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Canthz_B bang

      I had that damned tab around here somewhere…?
      They’re like coupons, right?

      Mar 19, 2009 at 3:12 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   Saysh bang

      Tsk, tsk. I gave you a WHOLE BOOK of them!!

      Don’t tell me you lost them.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 5:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   aaa

    Soooo… Would’ve it been okay for the thief to have left them one laptop and keep the others?

    Mar 19, 2009 at 12:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Frankie bang

      I can’t.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Canthz_B bang

    Another from Frisco San Francisco? I guess all of that tolerance results in an abundance of passive aggression.
    Beats a peptic ulcer though!

    Mar 19, 2009 at 9:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Frankie bang

      Once my mom told me to take some pepto bismal and I accidentally drank calamine lotion instead. I was confused.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Mishee bang

      But itch free I can imagine!

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      Butt itch is free?

      Mar 20, 2009 at 3:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Canthz_B bang

      Only if you sit on the toilet in a certain Public Library unisex restroom. They offer all sorts of viral free editions there.

      Mar 20, 2009 at 3:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Julie

    The note writer is watching the telephone pole with binoculars.

    When someone takes a “FUCK YOU” they call the police with a description.

    FOILED AGAIN THIEVES.

    Mar 19, 2009 at 9:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Frankie bang

      Sometimes I watch Mishee. She thinks I can’t see her following me around. But I do. It’s like she’s watchin me, but I’m really watchin her.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Mishee bang

      *starts humming classic Police song*

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   Frankie bang

      Don’t stand so close to me?

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   Beanster bang

      every breath you take, frankie, and i’ll be watching you.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 10:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   GhostWriter bang

    …and the Lord spoke to the soul of the Samaritan, “When my angels came as a pillowcase, you took them in; now enter my Kingdom”

    Mar 19, 2009 at 9:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Frankie bang

      What ever happened to that one guy?

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Mishee bang

      It turns out it was all just a dream in the imagination of some autistic kid!

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:12 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   TheOldSchool

    I’m guessing the thief is a bit of a nutter, who finds delight in random, meaningless things, such as laptops and telephone poles.

    Mar 19, 2009 at 1:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   TheOldSchool

      What’s more, this theory is NOT just based on idle speculation. I’ve spent years in the lab, standing there for endless hours, performing test after test, whilst my own beloved testicles were slow-cooking themselves into a potentially explosive state, much akin to street-fair hum-bows.

      Sure, they’re still tasty, but “handle with care.”

      Mar 19, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   mamason bang

      I never know what anyone’s talking about.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 2:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   Frankie bang

      Found him.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   TPS

    Wait so the tab I took wasn’t for the phone number to register for TaeWonSuperKarate lessons?

    Well, FUCK YOU.

    Mar 19, 2009 at 5:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Frankie bang

      I used to take Tae kwon do.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Mishee bang

      I always order the Cream of Sum Yung Gai.

      Mar 19, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I am adept at the fine art of NOCAN DU.

      Mar 21, 2009 at 3:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Byatch

    Explanation for the missing ripped-off tabs: if I saw a perfectly wallet-sized “FUCK YOU” missive, I’d take a couple to stick under the windscreen wipers of that jerk who keeps parking me in. It’s all about spreading the hate around. Kind of like a pay-it-forward :)

    Mar 19, 2009 at 9:15 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

    I think there will be a new note soon, complaining that some FUCKING JERK stole all of the FUCK YOU tabs from the first sign. You can keep the pillowcase.

    Mar 20, 2009 at 3:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Canthz_B bang

    *wonders if Kerry is in ill health at the moment…lights get well soon candle, just in case.* :???:

    Mar 20, 2009 at 9:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   slythwolf

    Of course I needed them! How the hell else do you expect me to pay for my meth?!

    Mar 27, 2009 at 1:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Bald Outing

    It sucks to have your laptop stolen – especially if you didn’t back stuff up – hopefully at least this note released some of the anger. It is hilarious. And yeah, who took the tear offs?

    Mar 27, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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