My Grandma Cookie is 85 today! Won’t you join me in wishing her love, joy and a good day?
And please, she’s got early bird reservations at the hibachi restaurant at 6 p.m. (Florida time, natch), so step on it, won’tcha?
related: An occasion that Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate
extra credit: The Blue Mountain Arts e-card from Grandma Cookie that my brother Danny “forgot” to pick up

94 responses so far ↓
#1
EyeHeartA2
My Grandma Pie thinks any day on the right side of the sod is a good one.
My Grandma Cake, not so much.
Mar 24, 2009 at 3:55 pm rating: 7
#2
Mishee
If both of my grandmas have passed on, does that mean I am not a granddaughter after all?
(BTW Kerry, it seems your grandma cookie does guilt as well as she does mandelbrot!)
Mar 24, 2009 at 3:57 pm rating: 8
#3
Old Ladies Driving
Happy Birthday Grandma…from two fabulous old ladies to another!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39A2J-yo2Nc
Mar 24, 2009 at 3:59 pm rating: 1
#4
amy d
If your grandma sends you a P/A email and you don’t reply, is she still a martyr?
Mar 24, 2009 at 4:13 pm rating: 36
#5
Ti O
Don’t tell her you stopped by on Saturday but missed her because she was at her ladies bowling league, you should know she doesn’t fucking roll on Shomer shabbos!
Mar 24, 2009 at 4:20 pm rating: 5
#6
Chinchillazilla
Yeah, Grandma, it is. Since it marks the date of your birth.
Also, I’m barely aware that my grandparents even have birthdays. I mean, I know that they do, but hell if I know when they are. No one expects me to call them or anything.
That’s the nice thing about families that aren’t close.
Mar 24, 2009 at 4:25 pm rating: 4
#7
claw71
I’m sorry Grams, but the spark went out of the relationship when you decided I was too grown up to get a finski in my card every year. Fixed income my ass, bitch! Gimme my money!
Mar 24, 2009 at 4:34 pm rating: 17
#8
DearJane
If it had been my grandmother, she would have called us up and pointedly sighed into the reciever until one of us remembered. Is there such a thing as passive-aggressive breathing?
Mar 24, 2009 at 4:35 pm rating: 31
#9
The Commish
I’m surprised about any grandmother who can properly use e-mail. My grandmother’s technological savvy piqued at the Beta Max.
Mar 24, 2009 at 4:43 pm rating: 7
#10
Lorelie
After sending the email, Grandma Cookie storms out of the house to drown her troubles and kvetch with her mahjong group, thereby missing the most perfect surprise birthday party EVER. You know, the one at which every grandchild announces they are now either engaged to a doctor or pregnant with their lawyer-husband’s child.
Mar 24, 2009 at 4:51 pm rating: 20
#11
Lorelie
I was out Saturday night but came home to a voicemail from *my* Jewish grandma:
“*sigh* I just wanted to talk to a real person. I’ll call back later.”
Saddest thing ever. Plus also made me wonder what non-real people she’d been talking to.
Mar 24, 2009 at 4:59 pm rating: 23
#12
QuarterRoy00
Does she know her grandchildren are infants and can’t talk yet?
Mar 24, 2009 at 5:24 pm rating: 4
#13
secondsout
Sorry, granny. Now that I’m getting old, I’m getting a bit senile, and I tend to forget things. It happens when you get old. Me, I’m only 29. Just imagine what it’s like to be really old – like 85.
Mar 24, 2009 at 5:31 pm rating: 1
#14
Bunnee
When did Grandma turn into a tree? (No, NO ONE hears it!!)
Mar 24, 2009 at 5:36 pm rating: 2
#15
Nikki
Three cheers for tech-savvy Gramma Cookie!
Mar 24, 2009 at 6:19 pm rating: 1
#16
Olson
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA COOKIE!!!!
Mar 24, 2009 at 6:25 pm rating: 2
#17
Mishee
I wish I had a Grandma Cookie to lavish me with treats, guilt, and P/A goodness!
Instead I just have a mother who tells me:
*sigh* “I’ll remember that next time you need something”
Personally, I look forward to one day having my own kids pack their suitcases for the guilt trips I will give them…
Mar 24, 2009 at 6:35 pm rating: 5
#18
Ti O
Happy Birthday to Grandma Cookie and many more!
Mar 24, 2009 at 6:51 pm rating: 2
#19
lightspeed
It’s bad enough to expect other people to remember your birthday when you are 23, but when you are 85?
I’ll just be happy if I remember my own birthday. (And that my underwear goes underneath my clothes and not over…)
Mar 24, 2009 at 8:53 pm rating: 4
#20
aaa
Silly Grandma Cookie. People aren’t allowed to have birthdays anymore once they hit 21.
Mar 24, 2009 at 9:31 pm rating: 3
#21
Canthz_B
At a certain point it’s easier to count the birthdays left to one hundred, rather than the ones past.
This year Grandma Cookie is 15, next year 14, and so on.
Mar 24, 2009 at 10:18 pm rating: 2
#22
amanda
I didn’t know grandmas had passive aggressive tendencies…. again, I have been wronged!
Mar 25, 2009 at 10:41 am rating: 0
#23
DearJane
My grandma was queen of passive aggressive. I would call her and she would be like, “oh, you are alive!” I always fought the urge to say something like “Well, once I woke up from my 3 day bender and hauled myself out of the gutter in front of the bar, I decided it was a good time to call.” But that would have probably killed her.
Mar 25, 2009 at 11:01 am rating: 3
#24
NeverKnownAsTheKid
Grandma
Can I have yer stereo when you croak?
xoxo
Mar 25, 2009 at 2:52 pm rating: 1
#25
DearJane
Ok, I’m new-ish here…my last post became word of the day…what exactly does that mean?
Mar 26, 2009 at 11:09 am rating: 0
#26
DearJane
Woohoo! people like me!
(seriously afraid of Mishee now, hides under blanket)
Mar 26, 2009 at 3:20 pm rating: 0
#27
Bald Outing
Grandma wins for guilt trip of the year – hope you got her a good present!
Mar 27, 2009 at 11:29 pm rating: 0
#28 …but i hope it was good
[...] related: but…but…i didn’t forget! [...]
Jun 18, 2009 at 11:12 am rating: 0
#29 dear grandma: thanks, i guess.
[...] related: but…but…i didn’t forget! [...]
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:01 am rating: 0
#30 The most pitiful folk song never written | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] The zen koan of a Jewish grandmother Share0mail [...]
Sep 25, 2010 at 12:37 pm rating: 0
#31 Granny doesn't mess around. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: But…but…I didn’t forget! [...]
May 11, 2011 at 8:38 pm rating: 0
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