victoria in foster city, california, says her brother taped this note to one of the kitchen cabinets in their mother’s house after her boyfriend took his own frozen chicken out of little brother’s grasp the night before. (just to clarify that mess of pronouns: it was victoria’s boyfriend’s chicken. not that it really matters.)
“he’s 17 and constantly pmsing and thinks he has reign of the house,” victoria says of her brother. in response, victoria did whatever any older sibling does when a parent tells you to suck it up and act your age. (namely: exactly the opposite.)
related: no girls allowed
248 responses so far ↓
#1
Sirius
I said GOOD DAY Sir!
Mar 25, 2009 at 7:44 pm rating: +69
#2
Sirius
I guess if you finish high school
Mar 25, 2009 at 7:45 pm rating: +24
#3
VB
So if I’m not hungry at 11pm then I just throw the food out?
And kudos to the note writer spanning three post-its. All these years I’ve just been sticking them to each other and making one long note.
Mar 25, 2009 at 7:47 pm rating: +14
#4
anglophile
I don’t have a little brother, but close observation of my nephews has taught me that one should never taunt one’s younger brother with the words, “what are you going to do, hit me?”
Mar 25, 2009 at 7:52 pm rating: +42
#5
Monkeyspeaks
PLEASE!!! What does the missing note say! I can’t formulate a witty response without ALL of the passive aggression available
Mar 25, 2009 at 7:52 pm rating: +36
#6
Lorelie
Shit, wait, what? 17 year old males DON’T make the rules?
My step-mother lied to me! I didn’t have to listen to Rancid and smell nasty socks. *sobs*
Mar 25, 2009 at 7:57 pm rating: +12
#7
Lorelie
They must live in Europe if grocery shopping is to be done on a daily basis.
Mar 25, 2009 at 7:59 pm rating: +4
#8
Sam
sounds like a whole family of bitches.
(aside from the sick mother).
Mar 25, 2009 at 8:00 pm rating: +9
#9
Seitz
That was confusing. The whole time I was reading that, I thought the boyfriend was the mom’s boyfriend, but now I get the sense it was Victoria’s boyfriend. It makes more sense if that’s the case.
Mar 25, 2009 at 8:05 pm rating: +2
#10
Canthz_B
Maybe Sis’ boyfriend is acting like he lives at mom’s house too. Notice the dash subconsciously placed in front of “out by 11PM” as if it is a bullet point in and of itself.
Oops, just finished the note! It’s a stand alone house rule. Must have come to him when he did the kitchen rules.
Mar 25, 2009 at 8:11 pm rating: +5
#11
KatieMB
*puts her name on her Diet Coke, Monsters and percocets*
Mar 25, 2009 at 8:12 pm rating: +10
#12
mare
glad I don’t live in that heathy household!
Mar 25, 2009 at 8:14 pm rating: +1
#13
Scribbles the Monkey
I like the concept of arbitrary rule-making, actually. This piece is inspiring. I live alone, but maybe I’ll post some rules for myself… Why not, eh?
Mar 25, 2009 at 8:15 pm rating: +28
#14
JoelWhy
Do I have to write my name on EVERY Cheetoh?
Mar 25, 2009 at 8:27 pm rating: +20
#15
anglophile
The notes were clearly written in a fit of Flowers-in-the-Attic-style jealousy.
Mar 25, 2009 at 8:32 pm rating: +20
#16
Beanster
Extra Info:
I know that mother’s “imprisonment” is more related to the handcuffs she got a hold of when snooping through my things and then used on herself and swallowed the key (like I said, she’s extremely sick), but I fucking hate your boyfriend, so he should just go home. Plus, Mother starts shaking the headboard at 11, so it’s really best for him to leave.
Mar 25, 2009 at 8:39 pm rating: +7
#17
ryan0mega
I have to side with the 17 year old. My sister is a super inconsiderate tool, and I wouldn’t like it if she brought people in the house and ‘bullied’ me. I would have probably put their numbers in truck stop stalls, but then again, if i’m tough enough to tag up a truck stop stall (not actually use it though) then I guess I could just tell the douchebag to get out of my house. sooo, bring a knife out next time. it only takes one time to fix the situation!
Mar 25, 2009 at 8:50 pm rating: +8
#18
Carolyn
Other than the annoying note, I’m with the little brother. It’s his house and unless someone has ruled otherwise, the food in the fridge belongs to people who live in the house. He saw some chicken and took it. If non family members leave food in the fridge perhaps they should label it.
Mar 25, 2009 at 8:54 pm rating: +18
#19
Wade
Earlier that day…
Brother: [Sister turns around; startled by Brother's presence] Sorry. I’m here.
Sister: I didn’t see you.
Brother: I’m just writing a passive-aggressive note. I’m trying to do something inappropriate but also unfunny. Not jokey, more pubescent adolescent humour…
Mar 25, 2009 at 9:03 pm rating: +3
#20
Shadow
I’d have to say I agree with the little brother… he is probably just sick of his sister’s bf acting like he lives there.
Mar 25, 2009 at 9:10 pm rating: +9
#21
aaa
I’m fairly sure I find all players involved to be annoying prats, so Team aaa. Because I’m just that awesome. c:
Mar 25, 2009 at 9:16 pm rating: +10
#22
Goldie
So lemme get this straight, Victoria’s little brother was caught choking the chicken that belonged to Victoria’s BF… Gasp, how disturbing.
Mar 25, 2009 at 9:26 pm rating: +39
#23
Goldie
HOUSE RULE #22: If you’re old enough to move in with your girlfriend, to the point where her mother’s fridge is stocked with your groceries, then you’re old enough to rent your own damn apartment! Yes, that means you, Mr. chicken-buying boyfriend.
Team lil brother, because I liked his handwriting/grammar and also because I don’t want my own kids’ SOs ever moving in with me.
Mar 25, 2009 at 9:31 pm rating: +46
#24
park rose
wrong thread. sorry.
Mar 25, 2009 at 9:50 pm rating: +2
#25
C
Why doesn’t anyone in this family TALK to each other?
Mar 25, 2009 at 10:52 pm rating: +3
#26
Larry
Is the food thrown out by 11 P.M. to make absolutely sure that the Mogwai don’t eat it after midnight?
Mar 25, 2009 at 11:05 pm rating: +28
#27
mamason
I’m not sure I want to know why the bf brought a frozen chicken and his sick mother to the gf’s house to annoy and imprison her.
Mar 26, 2009 at 12:31 am rating: +4
#28
mamason
We learned in kindergarten that you should never let anyone touch your thing.
Mar 26, 2009 at 12:32 am rating: +3
#29
mamason
“Out of the living room/house by 11pm”
So, is this an either/or situation? I mean, can I just hang out in the bathroom if it’s after 11? Or maybe I could stand in the hallway… just outside of your bedroom door… eating my frozen chicken…
Mar 26, 2009 at 12:37 am rating: +17
#30
sarcasticsister
Younger bros are so annoying. Always like oooh i am so telling mom.
Once I decide to go to take a ride on moped (Two stroke engine two wheeler) down the bridge. I was not not allowed to go over the bridge for safety reasons. I ws 15 and my bro 8. I stupidly took my brother wid me. I ran the light and got caught by traffic attendent. He asked me to call my dad but did not want to do that for obvious reasons. Cop took us to the nearby booth and my brother started crying. Here I am trying to figure out how to solve ds w/o involving my dad and he would not stop. I am like if you whine cop is gonna put you in jail. One of the cop heard this and started laughing and let us go. so funny. yeah and when cop started laughing my brother thought he ws monster and started wailing even more. We reached home first thing he did, told my dad. Result? My moped privileges are gone since then.
Mar 26, 2009 at 1:03 am rating: +3
#31
Ashley
Someone tell this kid to stop wasting all the painters tape! That shit is expensive!
Mar 26, 2009 at 1:04 am rating: +22
#32
mamason
bf to gf: “I know it’s 10:58 but if we start now, I’ll be finished before curfew. I promise.”
Mar 26, 2009 at 1:41 am rating: +23
#33
SARAH
i bet i know her brother… i live in FC… most guys are like that here… maybe that is why no one wants to date them…
Mar 26, 2009 at 1:43 am rating: +2
#34
shmunk
i dont like either of them.
Mar 26, 2009 at 1:59 am rating: +2
#35
Hod
None of this is funny. This is an actual abusive family.
Mar 26, 2009 at 2:18 am rating: +3
#36
secondsout
“sit” on your bed? Dude, as soon as you go off to school, these two are going to fuck on your bed and if you’re enough of an asshole, they’ll leave the condom under your pillow.
Mar 26, 2009 at 3:45 am rating: +28
#37
claw71
I agree that 17 year-olds shouldn’t be making the rules; especially if they’re still going through puberty. Of course slutty older sisters who can’t seem to find their own apartments so they can shack up with their loser boyfriends don’t hold much sway either.
Sorry to say this, Vicky, but you come out of this episode looking like a much bigger loser than your brother. Here’s a tip: snap your legs together, get a job and stop mooching off of mommy.
Mar 26, 2009 at 9:13 am rating: +17
#38
Kimmy
Where is Dad?
Mar 26, 2009 at 9:35 am rating: +3
#39
Mishee™
I love the threat “If this is to be taken down, it gets worse”
How can it possibly get any worse?
Mar 26, 2009 at 9:41 am rating: +7
#40
Scribbles the Monkey
The first rule of the house is — don’t talk about the house!
Mar 26, 2009 at 10:13 am rating: +7
#41
Mishee™
Must.Go.To.Foster.City.
Must.Find.Victoria’s.Brother.And.Beat.The.Shit.Out.Of.Him.
Mar 26, 2009 at 10:14 am rating: +8
#42
Dani
Jesus! Somebody call Dr. Phil on these people, wouldja?!
Mar 26, 2009 at 10:17 am rating: +1
#43
Kimmy
who didnt finish highschool?
Mar 26, 2009 at 10:29 am rating: +1
#44
TheOldSchool
Yet another reason why I never eat frozen chicken.
Mar 26, 2009 at 10:55 am rating: +4
#45
DearJane
“My mother? You want me to tell you about my mother? Let me tell you about my mother…” (sorry, having a flashback moment)
Mar 26, 2009 at 11:19 am rating: +1
#46
octavius
If these dunderheads are eating frozen chicken it’s a miracle only mommy is severely sick.
Presumably they also store it above the cream pastries and cooked meat while it’s thawing out.
Ever heard of Salmonella guys?
Mar 26, 2009 at 12:56 pm rating: +3
#47
RP
OK, so the chicken turned out to be something V’s boyfriend bought. I don’t see why that has to turn into such a huge freaking deal. Ask him to label his stuff and be done with it.
Mar 26, 2009 at 1:10 pm rating: +2
#48
gt
Best posting for a while (but the livestock one was also a big snork).
PAN clique: frig, don’t you peeps have each others’ home e-addresses by now? All the in-jokes get super-boring for surfers. Thanks, and have a great day
Mar 26, 2009 at 1:57 pm rating: +6
#49
Scribbles the Monkey
For the record, yes, I’m in Texas (born in a foreign country, though), and yes, I’m speaking from experience on that adult-jail-at-seventeen note. Also for the record, I think Texas is a great place to live, and I’ve lived and traveled all over the place.
Mar 26, 2009 at 2:37 pm rating: +1
#50
CasinoInWest
Me too, I think in the same way about Texas.
Mar 26, 2009 at 2:48 pm rating: +1
#51
Zhopka
What kind of guy bothers to righteously re-claim a piece of food literally out of his gf’s little sibling’s mouth? What a loser.
Mar 26, 2009 at 10:19 pm rating: +4
#52
geeklygirly
Pubescent Adolescents: Coming soon to a Department of Redundancy Department near you!
Mar 27, 2009 at 2:55 am rating: +6
#53
WhatTha?
Lil bro should STFU and enroll in some night classes for that GED. He won’t have time to be annoyed and frustrated.
Mar 28, 2009 at 4:27 pm rating: 0
#54
Servo
“___s are cowardly, ___g across in ___en… but hey, I guess if you don’t finish high school, you don’t know such things.”
Can someone fill in the blanks?
By the way, the first thing I thought of after “Good Day” was Dr. Ball from Robot Chicken Star Wars.
Mar 29, 2009 at 9:19 am rating: 0
#55
GK
The most important question: how delicious was the chicken? Inquiring minds want to know!
Mar 30, 2009 at 7:13 am rating: 0
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