Writes our anonymous submitter in Hartford, Connecticut: “We’re not much for posting notes in our restroom at work., so the situation must have been pretty dire for someone to go to the trouble to craft this one.”
I appreciate the initial sentiment here — I really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that begins with “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” to a watery grave. so, for a brief flash in time, the note-writer had me. But then…the irregular Capitalizations, the excessive exclamation points!! and (seriously?) the pink flowery clip art…I’d say those make for some serious deductions in both the “technical merit” and “artistic impression” categories.
Judges — what say you of the final tally?
related: the rhyme that must be flushed
81 responses so far ↓
#1
Woman on the Verge
Random capitals, underlining, exclamation points and clip art. Yup, it’s a PAN. All that’s missing is misspellings…. Perfect passive-aggressive note foiled by spellcheck.
Mar 29, 2009 at 8:04 pm rating: 3
#2
Beanster
without the Flowers the Ladies would not have known it was for them. Regular notes Relying on Text to deliver a message are for Boys
Mar 29, 2009 at 8:09 pm rating: 13
#3
Quite Contrary
Was the “sprinkle when you tinkle crap” an intentional or unintentional pun?
Mar 29, 2009 at 8:13 pm rating: 20
#4
fantasy
Those flowers are sooo 70′s. They just say, feminine hygiene product.
Mar 29, 2009 at 8:13 pm rating: 9
#5
park rose
If you squat, don’t miss the pot.
Mar 29, 2009 at 8:14 pm rating: 5
#6
Canthz_B
If you want to squat go ahead?
Wouldn’t it be better if they went behind those who sit?
Mar 29, 2009 at 8:29 pm rating: 3
#7
Annalee Flower Horne
I don’t really care if people squat or sit. What I can’t understand is what they need the toilet seat down for if they’re not using it.
Seriously: 1. Lift seat. If paranoid, do so with foot instead of hand. 2. Squat & etc. 3. reverse step one. 4. get dressed. 5. wash hands. 6. ??? 7. PROFIT!
Mar 29, 2009 at 9:07 pm rating: 5
#8
Julia
I’m pretty sure Word used to capitalize the first letter of every non-word-wrapped line break. Not sure if it still does, but that might explain all the crazy capitalization. A lot of people are too stupid to notice and/or attempt to fix it.
Of course, that doesn’t explain the capitalized “ahead,” “decency,” and “yourself.” So I’m pretty much at a loss as far as explanations go.
Mar 29, 2009 at 9:08 pm rating: 3
#9
hibousoir
I don’t know, I just think this whole note is BEGGING for a rhyme scheme.
Mar 29, 2009 at 9:18 pm rating: 5
#10
TheOldSchool
I wish the sign poster had been more explicit about what it is, specifically, that is being done wrong.
A collage of photos would not only have been more helpful, it would have held out the possibility of being used as a launching platform for a career as a “lavatory faux pas artist.”
Mar 29, 2009 at 9:32 pm rating: 6
#11
Doug™
I was just thinking (I know, it’s quite the surprise), but the “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” is in quotes. Was there a previous PAN before this?
Inquiring minds need to know!
Mar 29, 2009 at 9:35 pm rating: 1
#12
secondsout
So wordy… How about a sign that says in big letters, “Quit pissin’ on the seats!”?
Mar 29, 2009 at 9:55 pm rating: 5
#13
ClearlyDemented
I love the contrast of the flowers and the pop-punk attitude. It reminds me of when my dog softly licks my nose to wake me up and then immediately throws up near my face.
I also like how ‘yourself’ is underlined and capitalized, as though if it weren’t you might *gasp* clean up after somebody else. I do wish the word ‘crap’ was a much larger font and all caps.
Mar 29, 2009 at 9:55 pm rating: 6
#14
aaa
I’m conflicted…They hate the hoverers, but they also have random capitalization and underlining and a clipart of a hibiscus. I don’t know whether to love this person for hating hoverers or hate them for writing such a ridiculously PA note… I’m… so lost… D:
Mar 29, 2009 at 10:20 pm rating: 1
#15
High On Markers
I think the capitals are for emphasis.
Were this piece to be performed orally, the capitalized words would be said in a louder voice and with one of those side to side head moves certain people (people in the movie Bring it On, for example) do to signal aggression.
Mar 30, 2009 at 12:08 am rating: 3
#16
Grammar Police
“As will the Cleaning staff!!” is not a viable sentence. Subject, predicate, and verb are either not present or not in acceptable syntax. Destroy note writer without warning. This message will self-destruct in 156 days.
REDRUM
Mar 30, 2009 at 12:31 am rating: 3
#17
Canthz_B
I bet the hypertext led to some really interesting websites when this note was typed.
I wonder…if someone poked those words with their finger, would a new PA note pop up?
Mar 30, 2009 at 1:46 am rating: 0
#18
Canthz_B
Is a staff really the best cleaning implement for use in/on a toilet?
Must be one of those Hints From Heloise items that I skip in the newspaper.
Mar 30, 2009 at 2:38 am rating: 0
#19
kureshii
If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
be a a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
Those who sit will appreciate it!
Ah, thank you submitter, the rhyme is now complete.
Mar 30, 2009 at 2:56 am rating: 0
#20
GhostWriter
I don’t like the Tinkle crap either,
I prefer Mix-A-Lot:
Oh, ladies (yeah?), ladies (yeah?)
If your gonna flood on the seaties (woh, yeah!)
Then turn around,
and wipe it up!
Even janitors gotta be proud,
Baby done squat!
Mar 30, 2009 at 7:57 am rating: 4
#21
lady j
see, whenever somebody pees on the seat at my work, I just get the urge to put up a note that says “stop pissing on the seat.” But I’m not exactly known for my tact or diplomacy.
And really, when I think about it, by the time somebody notices there’s pee on the seat, the offender is long gone. I think I just love bathroom graffiti too much.
Mar 30, 2009 at 9:18 am rating: 1
#22
High On Markers
Canthz – since you may have just impugned my balls in some sneaky manner, I’ll be more explicit:
I am talking about makeup-encrusted bad girl teenyboppers who are pretending to be powerful, angry black women.
To me, this stratum of society would fit the tone and graphics of the note.
Mar 30, 2009 at 9:52 am rating: 0
#23
Andy
crap.
Mar 30, 2009 at 10:28 am rating: 1
#24
claw71
I know several people who leave bits of their work behind in hopes of retaining exclusive rights to that particular receptacle later in the day. One guy I know simply doesn’t flush. Since the other stall is usually open and another restroom is just down the hall, leaving his “big job” behind keeps others away.
A woman I used to work with apparently smeared the toilet seat with fecal residue in order to mark her territory. Another woman in the same office–the one who presented this theory to me–countered by straddling the offended toilet seat and pissing all over it. I admired her skill and her nimbleness.
Urinating on the seat is also a tactic used by some germ-o-phobes who think that a few drops of pee is going to discourage somebody from simply wiping the seat and plopping down for a number 2. It’s not generally effective unless another germ-o-phobe happens by.
Personally, I find all of it to be rather annoying and a little gross. Instead of venturing into the bathroom for any projects that require me to be seated, I simply keep a few plastic grocery bags handy and pull the handles snug around my buttocks when the time is right. Coworkers in the neighboring cubes usually don’t care for the resultant aroma and occasionally the sounds can be rather disruptive but I feel that it’s worth their while to keep me a neutral party in the potty wars.
Mar 30, 2009 at 11:17 am rating: 12
#25
GhostWriter
I like to celebrate a great wipe job by popping open an ice-cold Mountain Dew.
So sue me.
Mar 30, 2009 at 11:28 am rating: 1
#26
fantasy
Gallon size zip lock bags.
“They seal in freshness and odors!”
Mar 30, 2009 at 11:31 am rating: 1
#27
candy177
I’m curious…what’s gigglebraxing?
See, here’s the problem with the bags (both plastic and reusable) – they don’t keep the odor in. That’s why you need a ziploc or something of that effect, like Fantasy said. For the big jobs, use space bags. Not only do they seal, but you could even vacuum out the air…if it’s ummmm…solid enough.
Mar 30, 2009 at 10:38 pm rating: 0
#28 okay, now you’re just screwing with me
[...] related: and yet…the pink flowers? [...]
Aug 5, 2009 at 11:09 pm rating: 0
#29 2 notes, 1 cupcake
[...] that must be flushed and the clip art that must be stopped…with some additional ridiculous floral clip art thrown in for good [...]
Sep 2, 2009 at 1:25 pm rating: 0
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