This!! Is how!! You know!! We mean it!!!

March 31st, 2009 · 128 comments

Writes Desiree: “This is a note at the express (stamps-only counter) at a very busy post office in Washington, D.C.. They are apparently!! very!! uptight!! like everyone else in D.C. (myself included)!!”

Meanwhile!! in Florida…

And! in Los Angeles!

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FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · d.c. · exclamation-point happy! · going postal · spelling and grammar police · you call that punctuation?

128 responses so far ↓

#1 Mishee™

Do to excessive food theft?

I wonder what claw looks like on camera….

Mar 31, 2009 at 12:52 pm rating: +6

reply to this comment
- #1.1 Bunnee
  
  Not only does the note writer horribly misspell the opening of the note, he uses AWFUL clip art! Scales? A camera? Where’s the stereotypical burglar, wearing a black mask over his eyes and carrying a big sack full of stuff?
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:00 pm rating: +8
- #1.2 Bunnee
  
  And he can spell “surveillance”, but not “due”?
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:01 pm rating: +35
- #1.3 TheOldSchool
  
  Granted, it should be: “Do too excessive food theft,” but that’s quibbling.
  
  I’m wondering at what point plain, old, ordinary food theft becomes “excessive food theft?”
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:06 pm rating: +18
- #1.4 Mishee™
  
  When claw is a member of the staff.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:07 pm rating: +2
- #1.5 TheOldSchool
  
  Mishee,
  
  Maybe Claw thought the food in the lockers was available on a first see/first eat basis. I don’t think Claw is the type of employee who would knowingly violate company policies.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:16 pm rating: +1
- #1.6 Bunnee
  
  Or when the manager’s food goes missing.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:18 pm rating: +2
- #1.7 Joe
  
  @Bunnee: Well, I’m sure the writer used spell check for that.
  
  What exactly am I supposed to do to the excessive food theft? Address it? Smile, smile, smile at it?
  Thank you, the management. Thank you for being so vague.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:32 pm rating: +7
- #1.8 Lorelie
  
  Excessive food theft is when all the supplies for the Mongolian BBQ go missing.
  Thx.
  Sandra
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:39 pm rating: +6
- #1.9 claw71
  
  I live by a code, people, and when you live by that code there is no such thing as food theft…excessive or otherwise.
  
  I’ve made it clear time and time again. I believe that all food stored in office common areas becomes community food 45 minutes after lunch hour officially begins. That’s 12:45, folks.
  
  I don’t care if you get in at 10 and leave at 8. It doesn’t matter if you work 3-11 and put your “lunch” in the fridge when you clocked in. Once that clock strikes 12:45 anything in the fridge is fair game until work begins the next day. If you don’t like it I suggest you consider buying a personal cooler or applying yourself so you can work on the grown up shift with everybody else who isn’t a loser.
  
  It’s not theft, it’s the natural order of things.
  
  How am I supposed to know you got stuck on a call for 50 minutes? I’m never late for lunch. In fact, I make it a point to eat my lunch earlier so I am able to partake of the food that is left in limbo long after the lunching hour began. So, I thought you decided to skip your bagged lunch for yet another ill-advised trip to Burger King. It’s not my fault you can’t stick to your diet and I just don’t feel right about letting good food go bad. So when 12:45 rolls around I do my part to eliminate food waste and belly up to the office fridge.
  
  It is not theft. The code has been posted. Live by it, or die by it.
  
  (by die, I mean go hungry. )
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 6:00 pm rating: +14
- #1.10 KatieMB
  
  So you’re saying …..
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 7:32 pm rating: 0
- #1.11 Andre
  
  “Do” is spelled correctly, it’s just the word itself that is incorrect.
  
  “Surveillance” would’ve been caught by the spell checker.
  
  PAN writers can use spellcheck too!
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 5:12 am rating: +3
- #1.12 Bunnee
  
  Can they suck the fun out of everything, too?
  
  suck
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 9:11 am rating: +4
- #1.13 Your Daddy
  
  Andre,
  
  None of the memos even uses the word, “itself.”
  
  I think we’re going to have to take you downtown and ask you a few questions. It’s just routine.
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 10:29 am rating: +3
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#2 Mishee™

Ok, I’ll bite…

Hi!! How are you!! With smile!!

*shaking head*

It still doesn’t make much sense…

Mar 31, 2009 at 12:53 pm rating: +11

reply to this comment
- #2.1 TheOldSchool
  
  Pretty good. Thanks for asking. (The sores downstairs have finally scabbed.)
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:18 pm rating: +6
- #2.2 Lorelie
  
  I’m not surprised your harem ended up with sores if you keep them locked up in the basement.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:32 pm rating: +3
- #2.3 TheOldSchool
  
  The sound of captive girls is sooooo soooooothing, in an oddly “new age” way.
  
  I used to worship the divine duo of Yanni and Zamfir.
  
  NO MORE!
  
  There’s nothing like a live choral performance to gently ooze oneself into lullaby-land.
  
  Note to insomniacs: Soon my sleep-inducing tapes of the muffled sobs of bound and gagged runaway hitch-hiker girls will be available in exchange for recently-stolen food.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:44 pm rating: +2
- #2.4 hall monitor
  
  You forgot SMILE! SMILE! SMILE!
  
  Hall Monitor
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 3:07 pm rating: 0
- #2.5 KatieMB
  
  I’m smiling, I’m smiling!
  
  See???
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 7:34 pm rating: 0
- #2.6 Your Daddy
  
  I’d like to thank Claw for the tip of “offering fake Jonas Brothers concert tickets for half-price on Craig’s List” advice.
  
  It works as well as a cute puppy on a beach, but without the clean-up hassles.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 10:41 pm rating: +3
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#3 Jeannette

I think someone forgot to put an exclamation point behind one of those smiles.

Mar 31, 2009 at 12:55 pm rating: +3

reply to this comment
#4 Quite Contrary

MAKE!!! IT!!! STOP!!!

Mar 31, 2009 at 12:56 pm rating: +18

reply to this comment
#5 mamason

So… do you want me to smile or not?

Mar 31, 2009 at 1:00 pm rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #5.1 TheOldSchool
  
  M, if you lived on “the big nip,” you’d be smiling all the time.*
  
  (The wind blows so hard, your cheeks seek cover in the frosty shadows behind your ears.)
  
  Don’t worry. As long as you remain securely tethered to the safety stake, there’s little danger of getting swept off the mountain.
  
  *Hence the local cliche: “Is it cold and windy up here, or are your tits just telling me how happy you are to be permanently tethered to ‘the big nip.’”
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:28 pm rating: +2
- #5.2 mamason
  
  TOS, You seem to be rather fixated on mountains today.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:40 pm rating: +1
- #5.3 TheOldSchool
  
  I was this morning, but I got some relief for it early this afternoon.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 8:11 pm rating: 0
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#6 mamason

I’m trying to figure out what the scales have to do with food theft.

Mar 31, 2009 at 1:03 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #6.1 Mishee™
  
  The scales of justice I assume?
  
  Where is the blindfolded chick?
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:07 pm rating: +3
- #6.2 TheOldSchool
  
  Mama, it’s a not-so-subtle dig at our friends in the anorexic/bulimic community.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:08 pm rating: +10
- #6.3 Resident Grammarian esq
  
  I think it’s a symbol for food, like scales in a supermarket for weighing stuff…
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:19 pm rating: +1
- #6.4 mamason
  
  Maybe it’s because theft is such a weighty issue.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:31 pm rating: +4
- #6.5 TheOldSchool
  
  RG,
  
  You may be on to something. How much of it did you take? How long ago? Do you have a wing man who can drive you to the e.r.?
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:34 pm rating: +1
- #6.6 sarcasticsister
  
  I think dt scale is symbol of thief doing his did. See how those triangles(food?) are going in the one side but nobody is putting them in it. The invisible guy = thief.
  but you never know how PA mind works.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:48 pm rating: +3
- #6.7 Sirius
  
  Yes!! It’s about time someone said something intelligible around here.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:55 pm rating: +8
- #6.8 sarcasticsister
  
  soooooooooooooooo sry
  My bd.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:58 pm rating: 0
- #6.9 Beanster
  
  i too, hate articles.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:59 pm rating: +5
- #6.10 T-Rizzle
  
  Dew too bd wether they’res know note.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 2:22 pm rating: +4
- #6.11 DearJane
  
  Perhaps the reason for the scales is about the excessive food that’s being taken, it’s being measured by weight, not total items. It’s bad when 28 food items are stolen, but completely unforgivable when 10 lbs of food is whisked away by the food thief
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 2:24 pm rating: +1
- #6.12 TheOldSchool
  
  You’re all wrong.
  
  It’s SO obvious: the scales relate to the food because fish have scales.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 8:06 pm rating: +7
- #6.13 Bernd das Brot
  
  Har har. Fish scales. Har har.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 9:33 pm rating: +2
- #6.14 Racerx
  
  TOS should be nominated for a PAulitzer
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 10:40 pm rating: +2
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#7 JoyGrenade

The one in L.A. appears to be floating in mid-air. I can think of no better way to get one’s point across.

Mar 31, 2009 at 1:30 pm rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #7.1 mamason
  
  Yes. Whenever I want to really stress a point I opt for levitation.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:32 pm rating: +4
- #7.2 Joe
  
  The cashiers may need constant reminding to do their jobs well, but at least the custodian takes pride in his work!
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:35 pm rating: +2
- #7.3 Brainsmmm...nevermind
  
  I do not understand the logic behind plastering those sayings to the handle of the container that would make it awkward during use.
  
  “The waiter was so friendly while pouring my drink…he was smiling and saying hi while a big white paper stick got stuck in my eye”.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 1:40 pm rating: +4
- #7.4 threat
  
  I actually took that cellphone pic — the labels are actually stuck on glass (the sign!! made by label maker!!!). It was also taken at a smoothie shop at a mall.
  
  Apr 15, 2009 at 11:00 pm rating: 0
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#8 Lorelie

I’m confused as to wether the LA sign is for employees or customers. Because I’m pretty sure a place that enforced smiling when ordering would be quickly knocked off my lists of eating establishments, no matter how good the hibachi shrimp.

(And yes, it looks like a Japanese joint to me.)

Mar 31, 2009 at 1:36 pm rating: +5

reply to this comment
- #8.1 threat
  
  It was directed to employees — and it was a smoothie shop.
  
  Apr 15, 2009 at 11:01 pm rating: 0
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#9 lightspeed

STOP WRITING!!!!
Passive Agressive Notes!!
That have! Excess Punctuation!
They are hard!!
To Read!!

Mar 31, 2009 at 1:42 pm rating: +6

reply to this comment
- #9.1 KatieMB
  
  And!!
  They make!!
  No sense!!
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 7:38 pm rating: +1
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#10 Sirius

Post Office Management starts off quite aggressively(!!) but seems to lose his steam somewhat as he reaches the end of the note. Perhaps he’s reloading. I think I’ll just stay down here on the floor for a while.

Mar 31, 2009 at 1:45 pm rating: +13

reply to this comment
#11 MW

My due due is do to come out soon.

Mar 31, 2009 at 2:06 pm rating: +5

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#12 ClearlyDemented

I think the last photo’s note is the instructions they give to the cult members as they pour them their Kool-Aid.

Mar 31, 2009 at 2:11 pm rating: +4

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#13 Mishee™

In regards to the last note:

FINALLY someone who knows how to take a picture on a reflective surface and NOT get themselves in the pic.

There IS hope for the world.

Mar 31, 2009 at 2:17 pm rating: +7

reply to this comment
- #13.1 threat
  
  Thanks. :p
  
  Apr 15, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: 0
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#14 Sara

PACK UP!! YOUR TROUBLES!! IN YOUR OLD KIT!! BAG!!

Mar 31, 2009 at 2:59 pm rating: +6

reply to this comment
#15 T-Bone

That third picture seems very sterile to me. I’ve never been to one (being a girl and all), but for some reason I think of a sperm bank when I look at it!

Mar 31, 2009 at 3:15 pm rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #15.1 Phalange
  
  If it’s a sperm bank, I don’t think they’ll need to TELL people to smile there. Something about a variety of porn and the opportunity to impregnate random women makes most men very happy.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 3:32 pm rating: +6
- #15.2 Geek Goddess
  
  Sterile and sperm bank in the same comment leads me to think that they may have problems promoting themselves.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 5:21 pm rating: +5
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#16 Jim

I would address!! and package!! my items at that post office counter just to piss them off. Of course, then the medicine I’m shipping off to my sick aunt!! wouldn’t get there.

Mar 31, 2009 at 3:26 pm rating: +1

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#17 ren

This! Is how! William Shatner! Talks! PA Style!

Mar 31, 2009 at 3:36 pm rating: +28

reply to this comment
- #17.1 KatieMB
  
  Best!!
  Comment!!
  Evah!!
  
  *feeling! very! generous!*
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 7:40 pm rating: 0
- #17.2 Your Daddy
  
  KMB,
  
  Do you mean it’s the ‘best comment ever’:
  
  1) on this blog,
  
  2) on all blogs,
  
  3) or in the history of human communication (both written and oral)?
  
  Personally, I’m leaning toward placing it somewhere between 2) and 3), but I’ll have to do some speed-reading tonight in order to confirm that hunch.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 10:55 pm rating: +2
- #17.3 KatieMB
  
  I meant my comment was the best one evah.
  
  *ahem*
  
  Apr 3, 2009 at 7:08 pm rating: 0
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#18 amy d

Well, all day long at work I hear smile when you do this, smile when you do that, make sure to always smile. Smile! Smile! Smile!

* tosses hair behind shoulders and flounces off*

Mar 31, 2009 at 4:13 pm rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #18.1 DearJane
  
  I hate it when I worked in retail, and the male customers would be saying “smile, sweetie!” even if Iwasn’t dealing with them. I wonder why they never said that to my male, 300lb co-worker who rarely smiled??
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 4:41 pm rating: +11
- #18.2 aaa
  
  The Smile Police suck. Take that, plastic freaks! >:c
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 4:45 pm rating: 0
- #18.3 Mishee™
  
  *just likes to watch amy flounce*
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 4:48 pm rating: +1
- #18.4 Anniee451
  
  In retail smiling is actually part of the job. Though that’s really for the managers to tell the employees, not the customers. Different story when you hear it from random strangers in non-working situations; it’s like, if I felt like smiling I’d smile, asshole. Or I’d work in retail.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 5:15 pm rating: +9
- #18.5 ClearlyDemented
  
  I don’t agree that a constant smile is ‘part of the job’ in retail. Sure, when you look up to greet someone, a smile is appropriate. But when you’re concentrating on another task and the guy three down in the line says, ‘Smile, sweetie. What’s wrong? Bad day?’ that’s just plain degrading. I worked in retail for years and never once heard anyone tell a male colleague to smile. And you know, what? Maybe they are having a bad day, maybe something horrible just happened. I would never be so presumptive as to tell someone what expression to have on their face, whether they’re serving me for $7 an hour or not.
  
  Go team frown!
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 7:22 pm rating: +7
- #18.6 aaa
  
  As for smiling in retail, there is a difference between not smiling being flat out dour.
  
  But I had some jackass stranger on campus tell me to “Smile!” once. And I wasn’t even frowning, I was getting my lip gloss even. :/
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 8:49 pm rating: 0
- #18.7 Anniee451
  
  “Go team frown!” Hehe.
  
  “I don’t agree that a constant smile is ‘part of the job’ in retail.”
  
  No, no one can possibly smile constantly.
  
  “Sure, when you look up to greet someone, a smile is appropriate.”
  
  Yes.
  
  “But when you’re concentrating on another task and the guy three down in the line says, ‘Smile, sweetie. What’s wrong? Bad day?’ that’s just plain degrading.”
  
  While I don’t find it degrading especially, it’s annoying. Or, it can be if you’re not in the mood for it; generally in my own days behind the counter those comments didn’t bother me unless I was already in a crappy mood, which I usually wasn’t during rush times for some reason. I think pretending to be cheerful ends up making you actually cheerful sometimes.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 8:51 pm rating: +3
- #18.8 DearJane
  
  I hate smiling on command. I am a generally happy person, but I do not have a barbie perma-smile on my face at all times. There is a time and a place for a smile. While dealing with someone? Yes. While looking at your computer monitor? No. People will think you are looking at porn, or readng PAN
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 9:54 pm rating: +6
- #18.9 Racerx
  
  ,or you are Batmans arch enemy the Joker…..his constant smile helped him do his job perfectly.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 10:47 pm rating: +2
- #18.10 amy d
  
  Judging from the serious nature this particular comment thread took, my spoof of Jan Brady was obviously a failure.
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 10:03 am rating: 0
- #18.11 Bunnee
  
  But your new avatar is a big success! Much less creepy…(I got your spoof, fwiw)
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 11:01 am rating: 0
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#19 aaa

That last one is creepy. Is the place run by pageant moms or something?

Mar 31, 2009 at 4:17 pm rating: +8

reply to this comment
- #19.1 Mishee™
  
  Its good when I can convey my thoughts to my troll without even speaking.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 4:21 pm rating: +3
- #19.2 aaa
  
  I’m just that awesome of a troll. Aren’t you glad I harass you? c:
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 4:43 pm rating: +1
- #19.3 Mishee™
  
  Even better than Dobby.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 4:47 pm rating: +1
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#20 claw71

One thing I love about corporate restaurants is how you can always tell when the newly appointed regional manager is in town. It’s obvious when you first pull up to the drive through and you’re immediately greeted by an overly enthusiastic voice on the speaker. “HI!! HOW ARE YOU!!! WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY OUR OUTRAGEOUS FUDGE BROWNIE SHAKE WITH YOUR MEAL TODAY!!!!”

Of course not.

Then you pull up to the window and hand the cashier your money. She’s beaming at you with so much force that you’re terrified you’ll be there to witness a seizure when the blood vessel in her head explode. In the back you can hear that fresh-faced regional stooge imploring the Mexican taking out the trash to SMILE! SMILE!! SMILE!! And you know that dick is in there telling people that the customers can “hear your smile” so he coaches them and they end up screaming everything at you. THE RESTROOM!!! IT’S DOWN THE HALL ON YOUR LEFT SIR!!! BE SURE TO TRY OUR NEW HAND DRYER!!!

Then you pull up to the service window and you’re again greeted a little too enthusiastically. The lines are so scripted you swear that the girl is reading them from a Cue card. It’s not quite as stilted and overtly theatrical as Annette Benning in American Beauty, but it’s close enough and you wish that the remote to the DVD was handy so you could fast forward through her dialogue. “HERE’S YOUR HOT AND DELICIOUS ORDER!!! (It’s neither, but the Regional Manager believes the service trumps quality and then, the she throws an assumptive close at you securing business for the nest day) WE’LL SEE YA TOMORRA!!!”

In the Regional Manager’s defense, these initiatives almost always come from some dashing new Vice President who logged on to Phoenix University and snagged himself an MBA. These junior execs always try to make an earlier mark in order to justify their generally useless existence so they can brag their way into a senior VP spot where they will eventually violate SEC regulations, drive the stock value of the corporation down and snag a golden parachute on the way out. Meanwhile, the circle of hell begins again for the rank and file employees who by this time have been asked to learn how to roller skate because some dick decided to go retro and bring back the drive in. Great, can I get an estimate on the fender you dented while I wait on a replacement for the burger you dumped on my windshield? Idiots.

The experience is always surreal. Unless the people working on the other side of the window are from some sort of adaptive outreach program and arrive to work in a short bus, I don’t want to see them bubbling with excitement over serving me. I know how the game is played and when regular loser Americans pretend they’re happy when they’re schlepping military grade food at military grade pay I can’t help but think that the joke is on me. When my fast food employees are sullen, bitter and disinterested I can be relatively certain that they just didn’t have the angst to wipe their asses with my bun.

Mar 31, 2009 at 5:42 pm rating: +16

reply to this comment
- #20.1 bored
  
  Why you have to write so much? I like reading comments.
  make it shorter.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 6:27 pm rating: +9
- #20.2 Mishee™
  
  deal with it.
  
  Claw just has a lot to say.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 6:35 pm rating: +6
- #20.3 mamason
  
  Why you have to stoopid so much? I like sarcasm. be smarter.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 6:39 pm rating: +19
- #20.4 Beanster
  
  bored, why does it always have to be about you? i’m sick of the lying and the cheating and the demanding we change to fit your schedule. i’ve had it. i’m leaving and im taking the kids.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 6:42 pm rating: +16
- #20.5 KatieMB
  
  I’m bored too, but admit that I am smiling due to all the exclamation points in the PANs.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 7:29 pm rating: +1
- #20.6 Anniee451
  
  Haha – FTW!
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 8:55 pm rating: 0
- #20.7 DearJane
  
  My “hot and delicious order”…I’ve been waiting for that for years….
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 10:01 pm rating: 0
- #20.8 unhinged
  
  would you read this out loud to me claw? then i could close my eyes, still hear your fucking delicious words, and…
  
  Apr 17, 2009 at 10:10 pm rating: 0
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#21 bored

Thank god! u said u r taking the kids. on that note I can consider taking u back. no! no! take the kids pls.

Mar 31, 2009 at 7:30 pm rating: +2

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- #21.1 Beanster
  
  so does that mean if we give the bebe’s to your mom we will still have a shot?
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 7:46 pm rating: +1
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#22 bored

oopsi. meant to reply 20.4. so #21 is replied to 20.4.

Mar 31, 2009 at 7:40 pm rating: 0

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- #22.1 Sirius
  
  And I’m guessing, meant to refer to 21, so #22 should be appended to #21?
  
  It doesn’t matter, nobody is reading it. We like reading comments, but only when they use grown-up words with vowels and shit.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 7:46 pm rating: +13
- #22.2 bored
  
  ooh I m impressed sirius. you can reply to comment w/o reading it.
  now i m torn between u and beanster.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 8:33 pm rating: +1
- #22.3 aaa
  
  So bored has failed to gigglebrax (and entertain me) twice. I think something worse than the ‘Tard is in order.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 8:37 pm rating: +3
- #22.4 bored
  
  regulars, could you put this commenting attack aside for a minute?
  The word gigglebrax, where does it come from?
  I promise, I will deal with aaa’s comment.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 9:14 pm rating: 0
- #22.5 Racerx
  
  I will also risk scorn and humiliation by asking what gigglebrax means………. never mind i will just google it.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 10:53 pm rating: +2
- #22.6 Racerx
  
  Shit. Found this for gigglebrax search. At least it wasn’t a total waste of time.
  http://feeds2.feedburner.com/UnfortunateNames
  The shrimp flavored crack was YUMMY
  only other links were to PA notes.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: 0
- #22.7 park rose
  
  It means to nest the comment. It used to have a hyphen, but the non-hyphenated gigglebrax won out.
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 12:50 am rating: +1
- #22.8 Meesh
  
  I think that English is bored’s second language. I throw myself on the mercy of the court and plead for leniency on his behalf.
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 8:31 am rating: 0
- #22.9 bored
  
  Us is my second country actually.
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 12:13 pm rating: 0
- #22.10 bored
  
  oh i know meaning of gigglebrax, wanted to know etymology, exclusive to this blog.
  Like FD has story behind it, Unitard has one too.
  thanks
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 12:14 pm rating: 0
- #22.11 Mishee™
  
  unholyghost2003 made it up.
  
  it is her legacy.
  
  accept and embrace it.
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
- #22.12 bored
  
  ok. I ve to admit i made quite a fool of myself by not gigglebraxing. not intended though.
  but Sirius still pisses me of with his I m Mr. spellcheck attitude. hey so u like to write very formally even though it just blogging, I like to convey my msg with minimum key strokes possible.
  Cant we get along here?
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 12:59 pm rating: 0
- #22.13 Audrey H.
  
  so long as we leave the kids out of it.
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 1:02 pm rating: 0
- #22.14 Bunnee
  
  Won’t somebody think of the vowels?
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 5:57 pm rating: +2
- #22.15 unhinged
  
  bored- if you talk badly of my claw again i will have to duct-tape the corners of your mouth up towards your hairline and make you SMILE!! SMILE!! SMILE!!
  
  Apr 17, 2009 at 10:16 pm rating: 0
- #22.16 bored
  
  nah dont worry about it. my dad accomplish that already, ask batman!
  
  Apr 17, 2009 at 10:23 pm rating: +2
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#23 Canthz_B

It can be frustrating to think that a customer is talking to you, and when you respond they say, “Wha-? Oh, I wasn’t speaking to you. I was addressing my package.”

Mar 31, 2009 at 8:31 pm rating: +10

reply to this comment
- #23.1 Canthz_B
  
  There’s something vaguely dirty about the phrase “addressing my package!”
  
  “Honey, will you be addressing my package this evening? “
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 8:35 pm rating: +11
- #23.2 DearJane
  
  *breaking out the packaging tape and brown paper* what?.. huh?…. I thought we were playing UPS this evening… damn. I love a man in brown
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 10:06 pm rating: +4
- #23.3 ellemarie
  
  brown paper, white paper, stick it together with the tape– the tape of loooove.
  
  the sticky stuff.
  
  (relevance? none. but damn, it’s a good song.)
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 12:11 am rating: +1
- #23.4 Canthz_B
  
  I’m always “a man in brown”!
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 9:04 am rating: 0
- #23.5 Andy
  
  My package always stands in attention when I address it.
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 10:16 am rating: +1
- #23.6 mamason
  
  Don’t forget the zip code!
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 2:57 pm rating: +1
add to this thread
#24 squeaky76

I’m the one who submitted the Florida one. I’m actually kinda stoked it made it up here!

Interestingly enough, the note is no longer there. I guess Claw got the message… or people stopped stealing an excessive amount of food.

Mar 31, 2009 at 9:09 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #24.1 Your Daddy
  
  Squeaky,
  
  It’s patriots like you who make this country what it is. We owe you our gratitude, but, as we’re fresh out of that, I’m sure you won’t mind putting it on our tab.
  
  Mar 31, 2009 at 11:03 pm rating: 0
- #24.2 mamason
  
  We’re fresh out of gratitude. Will sarcasm do? *I’m still smiling*
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 2:59 pm rating: 0
- #24.3 squeaky76
  
  I’m proud to serve…
  
  Apr 2, 2009 at 11:06 pm rating: 0
add to this thread
#25 park rose

The Golden Rule of Lunch Rooms the world over:
Do to extensive food theft as ye would have it do unto you.

Apr 1, 2009 at 12:39 am rating: +5

reply to this comment
#26 Oi!

hmmm. so first she spelled due wrong and word corrected it to “do” then she put clip arts on, First seen first go basis (relevancy? there is no such things, silly! ) you know what is happening here? Machines are taking control over beautiful(read: psycho) and exciting(read: psycho) doodles.
Damn those machines!
I love this site.

Apr 1, 2009 at 9:02 am rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #26.1 Oi!
  
  second last sentence should read:
  Machines are taking control over beautiful(read: psycho) HAND WRITING and exciting(read: psycho) doodles.
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 9:28 am rating: +1
- #26.2 Sirius
  
  I’m Ron Paul, and I approve this message.
  
  Apr 1, 2009 at 10:27 am rating: +1
add to this thread
#27 TheOldSchool

If I worked in that Los Angeles area restaurant, I think I’d be smiling all the time.

The environment seems like it would be uplifting to the spirit, and, judging from the posted memo, I’ll bet the owner is a caring, generous employer.

Nice boss. Me happy!

Apr 1, 2009 at 11:06 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
#28 Set To Evil

May I point out that the camera in that note isn’t a video camera.

Apr 1, 2009 at 5:36 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
#29 oh! shit!

[...] related: this!! is how!! you know!! we mean it!! [...]

Jul 15, 2009 at 9:40 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
#30 oh! shit!

[...] related: this!! is how!! you know!! we mean it!! [...]

Jul 15, 2009 at 9:40 am rating: 0

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Old habits die…with a pout. (168)
- infant tyrone: I guess sometimes the confluence of “fruit” and “loins” engenders images that...
- matty-wat: Um… what parts are those exactly PR? Wait! Don’t tell me. Just let me use my imagination.
- PurpleMonkeyPaws: just want to say, I love this site, and I love the comments.
- lisa: Man, Fek was such a twat. I lurked yesterday and could not tear my eyes away from the train wreck. She clearly...
Do you feel inspired now? (169)
- GroovySooz: What’s your vector, Victor?

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

This!! Is how!! You know!! We mean it!!!

March 31st, 2009 · 128 comments

128 responses so far ↓

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