This note is so goddamn beautiful that if I just saw this floating around on Digg or something, I’d probably assume it was fake. And yet, Marta in Vancouver swears it’s for real.
She explains: “The guy who lives in one of the basement suites in our house left this on our front door after we stomped on the floor when he was blasting “Hotel California” at 11 p.m.” Oh, and just so you get a clear picture in your head, Marta says: “This is a guy who hangs out in the backyard with a katana wearing full-on samurai robes.”
Adds Marta: “Never have any of the people in the basement complained about us ‘running down the stairs.’ In fact, they’ve all told us they can never hear us. Sorry for walking, guy, we’ll try to levitate from now on.”
related: Oxford drama
207 responses so far ↓
#1
The Dude
I HATE the fucking Eagles, man!
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:05 pm rating: 43
#2
vikkitikkitavi
Sorry, I’m with Pete. If they had gone down and asked him first to turn it down and he didn’t, they yes, stomp away.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:11 pm rating: 56
#3
Sarah Palin
Knock on his window…
What… dude doesn’t even have a door???
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:13 pm rating: 15
#4
Sirius
I swear on my father’s grave there’s no emnity in this message.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:13 pm rating: 32
#5
Sean
The contrast of the horrible grammar against the questionable use of the (obviously thesaurus derived) term “enmity” is endlessly amusing.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:14 pm rating: 10
#6
suz
Team Pete! She was way more passive aggressive by stomping on the ceiling. Let him JAM OUT!
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:15 pm rating: 10
#7
Mishee™
At least he isn’t jammin’ in the name of the Lord…
But from the tone of the note, I am thinking he is gonna jam until the jam is through…
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:15 pm rating: 12
#8
Thomas Jefferson
So marta are you stomping on the floor like petulant three year olds because the bad man downstairs makes noise you don’t like? Suck it up and ask him to lower the volume if you can summon the courage.
Then again Pete fuckingeagle
SUCKS! Just stop it already and I am a instructor at the Sharpshooting japanese sword instructors school.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:16 pm rating: 15
#9
claw71
When I first saw this letter I really wanted to give Peter both barrels…I just hate those guys who play with swords…but after reading this note, I’ve got to call Marta out for being the asshole.
Stomping on the floor on the first offense? That’s rather P-A, don’t you think? And childish.
You should have put on a robe and gown downstairs to politely ask him to turn it down. If he opted to be a dick at that point you would have had every right to stomp on the floor or simply let your tub overflow in hopes of shorting out his circuit.
Boo on you, Marta.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:16 pm rating: 39
#10
Zhopka
Despite the many precious moments in this masterpiece, I still don’t think that stomping on the floor in order to communicate anything to the neighbour below is as normal as the submitter seems to assume. In fact, I think it’s pretty lame. (Unless it’s a last resort, preceeded by several failed attempts to express concerns verbally). Hm.
Then again, maybe I’m just old-fashioned? :\
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:16 pm rating: 6
#11
Sirius
TO the tattoo-ninja in my basement:
As my typewritten response would be equally devoid of emotion, I will have to resort to pissing down our shared heat register the next time I hear ‘Hotel California’ wafting upward at 11 pm.
Believe me, I’m not mad either.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:17 pm rating: 42
#12
lightspeed
Perhaps Peter should focus less on his jamming and more on reevaluating his life.
Perhaps then he would come to the realization that no 35 year old man should be living in the basement and playing with his sword
in the backyard.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:19 pm rating: 36
#13
Audrey H.
The correlation between Pete’s volume and the (perceived) altitude of the sun is outstanding.
Vampires have to be sleeping before sunset, Ninja’s have to be quiet before sunset?
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:22 pm rating: 14
#14
marlee
The last paragraph really made my day. I am thinking of using it in every personal message I write in the future. A nice disclaimer.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:27 pm rating: 8
#15
Doctor of Compassion
How do you nicely tell someone off? Say “Fuck you and your loud-ass jamming” while smiling?
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:29 pm rating: 7
#16
Completely Balanced Woman
“Believe me, I’m not mad…. just insane.”
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:31 pm rating: 13
#17
Melodie
Why oh WHY has it never occurred to me to swear things on my father’s grave? He’s been dead for nearly five years, and I missed out on this, the silver lining.
I swear on his grave that I’m going to start taking advantage of this opportunity RIGHT NOW.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:33 pm rating: 20
#18
joyce
peter is marginalized because of his quirkiness. i want to hug him.
marta is a childish bully. i want to kick her.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:36 pm rating: 5
#19
cre8tivewmn
“Sometimes I jam everyday….”
Priceless! And that’s just one of the meandering ideas in this letter. I’m worn out just trying to follow the logic.
It reminds me a of poem I learned as a child that begins:
‘Twas a wintry day in summer and the snow was raining fast. A barefoot boy with shoes on stood sitting in the grass…
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:37 pm rating: 10
#20
Doctor of Compassion
I want to learn how to be stealth!!
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:44 pm rating: 4
#21
Nicole
To everyone saying that stomping on the ceiling was jerk like:
I honestly prefer people stomping, or banging on the wall, or banging on the ceiling with a broom handle, to coming to my door. It’s way less awkward and it makes me feel suitably abashed for being inconsiderate.
I am not being sarcastic at all here: I’ve lived in apartments where maybe I had the music too loud, or the cats wouldn’t shut up, and a good solid stomp is the best way to get MY attention. And it’s exactly what I would do. I don’t think it’s rude at all.
(Also if this guy hangs around in samurai robes with a katana in the backyard and plays Eagles at 11 PM I think a face-to-face encounter might be dangerous. I’d be scared of this person until I knew better, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.)
Go team Marta.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:51 pm rating: 45
#22
honeyedhemlock
Oh dear, I think I’m in love with this man. His brutal assault on the English language really turns me on. The kimono and sword are just an added bonus.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:55 pm rating: 9
#23
aloria
Stomping really is a completely ineffective way of getting a noisemaker to STFU. I live in a basement apartment and trust me, it’s pretty difficult to differentiate “turn your shit down” stomps with “I’m pissed at my boyfriend” or ‘HOLY SHIT A COCKROACH” stomps.
Then again, my upstairs neighbor is a giant fatty.
Apr 1, 2009 at 12:56 pm rating: 10
#24
leftfoot
Oh hot damn, this is my jam. Keep it partyin till the A.M.”
Do ninjas jam out to Flo Rida?
Apr 1, 2009 at 1:07 pm rating: 2
#25
David
I really enjoyed this letter. The upstairs neighbors (the ones who submitted this, I assume) sound like total douche bags. Stomping? Really? What are they 7? At least this guy wrote a funny note.
Apr 1, 2009 at 1:09 pm rating: 4
#26
claw71
To the tune of Hotel California:
In a basement apartment
At the base of the stairs
Faint smell of Adidas
but an old, musty pair
Through the floor I could hear it
a played out song I don’t like
I stomped heavy on the floor below
It’s just oo late at night.
The next day in my doorway,
I had to say what the hell
A long note was there posted
again, man, what the hell?
So I contacted Kerry:
post this note right away
If the PANsters hate me
this is what they’ll say-ay
Why didn’t you go downstairs to tell him?
such a lazy bitch
makes my eyeballs twitch
He’s jamming downstairs, just go tell him
He might compromise
if you look him in the eyes.
Your floor is his ceiling
Stomping isn’t nice
so he wrote, the next time you stomp at me
I’ll turn the volume up by twice
this note’s not filled with hatred, not in the least
but you should know I own some knives
if you push me, I could be a beast.
Apr 1, 2009 at 1:17 pm rating: 30
#27
VB
Dear Pete,
I’m sorry you thought we were stomping. I heard the music and couldn’t help myself. I guess my tap dance teacher was right.. I need to take up painting instead.
Marta
Apr 1, 2009 at 1:22 pm rating: 20
#28
Ali
Someone banging on their ceiling with a broom always made us want to dive and tumble on the floor even more during our 4pm/6pm Nerf gun battles. If we were doing so at 11pm, I would’ve felt like such an ass.
Apr 1, 2009 at 1:34 pm rating: 1
#29
MW
If you’re working two jobs, seven days a week, and you’re still living in a poorly insulated basement at 35, maybe you should rethink your life plan.
Apr 1, 2009 at 1:42 pm rating: 9
#30
rainyday
I picture Peter to have graying hair that’s just long enough to put in a ponytail.
Apr 1, 2009 at 1:57 pm rating: 5
#31
Stuff Queer People Need To Know
“If you want respect from a 35 year old man …” Really? What the fuck does being a 35-year-old man have to do with deserving respect?
http://stuffqueerpeopleneedtoknow.wordpress.com/
Apr 1, 2009 at 2:01 pm rating: 4
#32
Tony
Gotta be honest guys….the man has a point.
Would it have been so hard to walk down the stairs and knock on his door? Who knows….maybe you woulda made a new friend
Apr 1, 2009 at 2:05 pm rating: 2
#33
cheatedon
Wait a sec, sword boy is running a tattoo biz out of his basement apt? I think the landlord might be interested in that bit of info.
Apr 1, 2009 at 2:07 pm rating: 2
#34
se
Let’s see, somewhere between 1 hr and 3 hours a day of loud music. This guy has no right at all to talk about respect.
team “see how deep the tub can get”
Apr 1, 2009 at 2:18 pm rating: 13
#35
Julie
None of the tattoo artists I know introduce themselves as tattoo artists unless they are trying to freak out the squares. Nice try, buddy.
Apr 1, 2009 at 2:20 pm rating: 6
#36
Jessica
I feel bad for the guy downstairs. I live on the bottom floor of an apartment building, and I’m sure the people above me don’t mean to be noisy, but I wish I could just tell them to stop walking around in their apartment unless they learn how to be graceful. I especially hate it when it sounds like they are having sex in the hallway….
Apr 1, 2009 at 2:28 pm rating: 2
#37
mamason
To The Office of the PTA/AI of JS at UBC
Hi,
My name is Luka
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes, I think you’ve seen me before.
If you hear something late at night,
some kind of trouble some kind of fight
Just don’t ask me what it was,
Just don’t ask me what it was,
Just don’t ask me what it was.
Apr 1, 2009 at 2:40 pm rating: 9
#38
Mishee™
Little does Peter know, but Lee next door with the baby has a deaf baby.
Hence no complaints.
Apr 1, 2009 at 2:45 pm rating: 7
#39
Rodger Man
hahahahaha, I love the fact that he starts his note off by talking himself up.
I also love the fact that he mentions respect! these girls never asked for his respect, nor do I think they care much for it! I mean this guy wears spurs for gods sake. Also, I think it is funny that he mentions in this note that the neighbor beside him has a baby. Even if this neighbor has not complained…yet, the simple fact that there is a baby next to him should make him rethink his volume.
fifty songs??? the guy “jams” for the duration of fifty songs?? I think that deserves a nice bang or two on the floor. Banging on the floor with a broom is not hostile. It is the universal sign for please shut up a bit, used by neighbors for decades.
…..Hotel California is a bad ass song. I’ll give him that.
Apr 1, 2009 at 2:51 pm rating: 5
#40 there’s no emnity in this message
[...] painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over ← on jamming [...]
Apr 1, 2009 at 2:56 pm rating: 0
#41
Nobody Important
http://www.gunstone.ca/todokai/
Apr 1, 2009 at 3:45 pm rating: 1
#42
riskatstake
Dear Pete,
Can I call you Pete? I feel as though I’ve come to well enough through your touching typewritten note that contained no enmity. It could also be the 9 months you spent in my womb or the 35 years you’ve been living under my roof.
In the future we will refrain from stomping on the floor and remember that you “working” 7 days a week downstairs and “jamming” is your release. In return all we ask is that you stop referring to your father in his grave.
Just because you live in the basement and we give you free reign in that domain doesn’t mean that you can pretend your father is dead. It really upsets him.
With love,
Your neighbor from upstairs (aka Mom)
Apr 1, 2009 at 4:20 pm rating: 65
#43
CS Harmonikah
It’s a thin line between “work from home all day, 7 days a week” and “have no real f*cking job”
At 35, maybe you dont need to “jam” every single day for 1-3 hours. I dont think you’re going to “make it big”. Just a hunch.
Apr 1, 2009 at 4:23 pm rating: 4
#44
Kevin
This will be a good place to share my stomping story.
Well, I didn’t stomp; better.
I was on the top floor of two. Some guys lived downstairs, didn’t know much about them.
I guess it was Friday night and they were partying until dawn. I don’t remember if I’d complained or stomped or just suffered, but around 8AM I’d had enough. I had an 80′s German heavy metal compilation tape, which I hardly even knew about but just bought because it was pretty hardcore. I put it in my stereo, put the speakers face down on the floor (a/k/a their ceiling), and cranked it to 11. So only one side played, for 20-25 minutes. I went out the door, and though there wasn’t much noise, the floor was vibrating when I left. I came back about an hour later, when the stereo had shut off, to find the cops taking one of the guys away. Apparently these drunken early-20-somethings had started fighting. I like to think that I helped drive them over the edge. I never had a problem with them again.
Apr 1, 2009 at 4:31 pm rating: 14
#45
joyous
His tone — especially at the beginning — is somewhat reminiscent of Dwight Schrute.
Or maybe that’s just me?
Apr 1, 2009 at 5:06 pm rating: 0
#46
Mishee™
“My name is Peter”
That’s how the Mister introduced himself to me on the day we met.
Of course, his name is David.
Apr 1, 2009 at 5:57 pm rating: 3
#47
Karen
Personally, I found the money-shot to be Peter’s oath to assume all future stomps are “off-key drum beats.”
Looks like he hasn’t learned too much about musicality, even after EONS OF JAMMING OUT!!!!!!!
Apr 1, 2009 at 6:11 pm rating: 6
#48
Anniee451
Sometimes I wish I could make better jokes. This thread has been *hilarious* beginning to end. That’s like the best commenting I’ve seen in a long time
Apr 1, 2009 at 6:30 pm rating: 1
#49
violet
Off key drum beats??
Apr 1, 2009 at 7:41 pm rating: 1
#50
aaa
Okay, so they have to come and bitch him out in person, but he can write all the PA notes he wants? Nice.
Apr 1, 2009 at 9:08 pm rating: 5
#51
aaa
I bet I-wish-I-were-Japanese sword boy totally sucks at tattooing. And am I the only one who imagines him watching bad obscure Japanime (subbed, of course, never dubbed) just because it’s from Japan and obviously TEH AWESOME! And you know he’s got some bad Japanime shirt on under his samurai gear and has little Japanime/video game character keychains and shit all over his man-purse.
Apr 1, 2009 at 9:19 pm rating: 6
#52
m
—
Apr 1, 2009 at 9:23 pm rating: 0
#53
pegolas
Come on, Pete – everyone knows that the universal sign for STFU is stomping on the floor; especially if you’re in your jammies.
Apr 1, 2009 at 11:27 pm rating: 4
#54
Brainsmmm...nevermind
Anybody that has to say, “I’m not an asshole…..” really is one. Just like anybody that prefaces a statement with, “I am not racist or anything…” and then says something incredibly racist.
He writes a note complaining that the people above him did not come and talk to him like civilized people…..umm pot meet the kettle.
Apr 2, 2009 at 1:43 am rating: 9
#55
Tim
Team basement guy.
Apr 2, 2009 at 6:12 am rating: 0
#56
Fraser
Hotel California on guitar, and Katana swords in Samurai regalia? Peter sounds like the King of the Fucking World- for serious. Marta, on the other hand, totally sounds like someone who would be named Marta.
Apr 2, 2009 at 10:51 am rating: 2
#57
TPS
Fuck, I hated living in basement suites.
Apr 2, 2009 at 12:33 pm rating: 1
#58
Jall-apeno
Pete was just disappointed that his evening was interrupted by distracting noises from upstairs.
He had wrapped up his standard, 30 song Friday set and completed an extended shower with his new Axe Detailer Shower Tool. A slight delay ensued as he decided between Tsunami, Orion, or Apollo as his fragrance for the evening. Remembering his God-like Smoke on the Water riffs, he selected Apollo. Awesome.
He pulled his hair back into a pony tail – Gawd he had incredible hair, thin up front mind you but the mane flowing down his back was a lady killer. Tonight he was feeling special…maybe it was the extra attention he gave his boys with the soft side of the detail tool or maybe it was just springtime, but tonight he would wear his special outfit, the one reserved for nights like tonight. Yes, tonight was assless Shinobi shōzoku night.
So there he was, halfway through his 6th can of malt liquor, Eagles cranked, and Ninja Miss opened to Miss Shigatsu (April). He was close now, so very close… “…you can stab it with your steely knives but you just can’t kill the beast!” Oh here we go….
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP
What the?!?…his katana drooped. The moment was gone. All his preparations for nothing. With a heavy sigh he capped the lube, sheathed his sword, and pulled out the typewriter. It was message time. Message without enmity.
Apr 2, 2009 at 4:57 pm rating: 26
#59
octavius
Peter isn’t on any instructor list at UBC that I’ve seen, Marta should invest in good locks and a taser.
Apr 2, 2009 at 5:38 pm rating: 8
#60
Racerx
I don’t blame Marta. The blame should obviously fall squarely on her parents shoulders.
Apr 3, 2009 at 12:11 am rating: 1
#61
Jeni
I am Lee, from next. And I object.
Apr 3, 2009 at 12:48 am rating: 2
#62
TheOldSchool
Annie,
Never apologize. Never explain.
Although though I was called in to liaison more I examined PAN, the more I
what I was initially viewed will soon prove to be a paradigmatic restructuring
Apr 3, 2009 at 1:12 am rating: 0
#63
Sam
Hahaha. I used to get pissed at the guy who lived above me last year for stomping around and it always sounded like he was dropping things, so I would get a broom and hit the ceiling sometimes. I started doing this after he was so drunk one night that he was banging on my bedroom window and trying to use his keys to open my back door, thinking he was at his place.
I like that little disclaimer at the end. “Believe me, I’m not mad.” Hahaha. He managed to be even more passive aggressive. Amazing.
Apr 3, 2009 at 8:26 pm rating: 0
#64
trois
You know, I’ve got to sympathize with Peter, the letter-writer. Fact: The Eagles suck. Another true Fact: Hotel California is a fucking great song that deserves to be heard only at a high volume.
I think his letter was pretty reasonable, especially since he has put some thought into jamming at the appropriate time and with regards to his neighbors.
As someone who also jams and lives on the first floor: I jam to the appropriate level (somewhat LOUD) until 10pm and I also feel somewhat justified in my noise level because the stompings/gigglings up and down the staircase which no one else but me, suffers through.
My neighbors don’t complain about my noise, but they are welcomed to do so especially in a considerate, reasonable way. No problem.
Apr 8, 2009 at 4:02 pm rating: 1
#65
Ghostbuck
I’m tickled that the girl who submitted the letter felt she was somehow wronged because he left a note. Honey, the guy has a point. If you were disturbed the adult thing to do is knock on the door and say “Hi, you music is loud. Would you please turn it down?” Amazingly, that often works well! Of course, you have to be a sane adult to know that and there are so few in this world!
Jul 14, 2009 at 7:40 am rating: 2
#66
latj
I actually agree with him. If you’re bothered by the noise, say so and show you’re well educated, don’t stomp around and be even ruder than him…
Aug 5, 2009 at 5:42 am rating: 0
#67
edhurley
She went about it all wrong. You cannot combat a an electric guitar amp with foot stomping, the amp wins everytime. Try rotten eggs. I have moved many a annoying neighbor with mystery odor.
Jan 6, 2010 at 9:53 am rating: 0
#68
Rene
And this is the reason I love http://www.passvieaggressivenotes.com. Shocking posts.
Mar 10, 2010 at 2:31 pm rating: 0
#69
Roberta
wwws.passiveaggressivenotes.com, how do you do it?
Mar 10, 2010 at 2:53 pm rating: 0
#70
A Random Grown-up
Well, aside from all the profanity, you guys are missing the point here. (And what – can’t you guys express yourselves in a sentence that does not contain the “f’ word? Are you 12?)
I think it takes an idiot to not know his music is too loud after 10 pm ANYWHERE. People have jobs – even if yours is from home, or a different shift, respect that!
Also, the root problem is INCONSIDERATION.
I’ve had a house, and lived in apts. When we had our house, there were rude, noisy neighbors on the street as well, so apts aren’t the only place rudeness happens. Right now, we live in a 4-townhouse bldg. When we moved in, the guy next to us welcomed us, and just nicely said that he worked night shifts and slept during the day, and that the walls here are incredibly thin. Nice way of saying not to be too loud. I respect that. We aren’t noisy people anyway, so it is a great match. HOwever, rudeness abounds around the complex. I don’t want to hear your latest CD on your car stereo (or apt stereo) ANY time of the day – that is what HEADPHONES are for. Then it can be as loud as you like it, to the point of personal deafness. The added benefit is that you won’t hear the steps of other people over your head thru the music haze. You don’t want to hear my music either, I am sure.
I wouldn’t go down and knock on a door that late for anything – I’d call the police if the floor hit didn’t work. After all – I’d assume someone was drunk, stupid or on drugs to not be able to read the clock. Let the armed police deal with them.
Be considerate – that includes your loud music, your drunk buddies, your bored dog (who you let run even tho there are leash and scooper laws), your children (who are like farts – you can only really tolerate your own. I don’t want to have yours playing on my doorstep!), etc etc. If you want to party with your buddies, find a friend who owns a house or rent a barn. If you have friends over, make sure they don’t park in your neighbor’s spots. If you want to have an argument on your cell phone, GO INSIDE!
It is sad how little people care about how what they are doing affect their neighbors. Grow up. You are sharing space, like it or not. Living in close quarters might not be a choice, but being a jerk is.
May 17, 2010 at 10:22 pm rating: 3
#71 Escape poodle | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] On jamming [...]
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:50 pm rating: 0
Comments are Closed