Comments on: What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?

By: mamason

mamason — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:11:44 +0000

Kanye West doesn’t care about white people.

By: Meesh

Meesh — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:11:35 +0000

*penetrate*

By: TheOldSchool

TheOldSchool — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:10:54 +0000

Leftfoot,

Unlike “family members,” I don’t just come to visit the elderly for n awkward, uncomfortable hour, one Sunday afternoon a month.

I’ll visit anytime. Even in the evening! The doors are locked then, so I have to stand outside their windows, but I don’t mind.

The other night, I paid a visit to my most frail new friend (the sole heiress to an aerospace supplier fortune).

I thought she’d get a kick out of seeing me dressed in normal street clothes, so I wore my grim reaper costume. I scraped some branches against her window to get her attention. You should have seen the surprised expression on her face when I raised my boney rubber hand and pointed straight at her.

Unfortunately, I’ll never hear how tickled she was by my playful hi-jinks. Apparently the nursing staff found her dead in the morning. She’d died of natural causes. Heart-attack. I’m just happy to know I was able to provide with her one last good laugh before she passed.

By: claw71

claw71 — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:10:23 +0000

Not the new bacon berry blast flavor. Keep kosher, Monkey.

By: Monkey Speaks

Monkey Speaks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:03:58 +0000

Im surprised no one has commented on that special “Word Art” used for the headline that only comes from one who is proficient in Microsoft Word

By: Monkey Speaks

Monkey Speaks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:02:30 +0000

Im a Jew – we are the chosen peoples. I can steal a Klondike bar and not have to worry about forgiveness.

By: Monkey Speaks

Monkey Speaks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:01:10 +0000

Hmm. I’m more of a mickey mouse chocolate coated ice-cream bar.

At least I was… back when they were special and you could only get them at disney. Now every gas station sells them.

Nevermind. I hate chocolate coated mickey mouse ice-cream bars.

By: Sirius

Sirius — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:49:57 +0000

Hind sanitizer?

By: Sirius

Sirius — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:43:40 +0000

Piss him off, and he’ll put all caps in your ass!

By: Edon

Edon — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:34:28 +0000

Whoosh…

The sound of a comment going completely over leftfoot’s head….

By: Mishee™

Mishee™ — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:30:07 +0000

Hell, if a hooker had my tongue in a tooth hold and wouldn’t let go, I’d SLAPchop that bitch too.

I don’t blame him at all.

But one has to wonder, why would Vince, the SHAMWow guy, have to pay for sex?

You’d think he would be SLAPchopping the girls away at the door!!

By: oi!

oi! — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:18:25 +0000

ok so, she gives me only two options: I will be forgiven either I receive Christ as my savior or I already have Christ as a savior. but what if Buddha is my savior? than Christ won’t forgive and neither does she?
The bar was filthily divine.

By: anglophile

anglophile — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:14:22 +0000

Nothing like truth in advertising. First we are alerted to the bogus nature of the product with the name SHAMwow, and then we are alerted to Vince’s violent tendencies with the SLAPchop.

By: mamason

mamason — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:05:32 +0000

*I hope they use the Purell when they’re done*