Why you should not be Facebook friends with your parents…or grandparents

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Why you should not be Facebook friends with your parents…or grandparents

April 8th, 2009 · 142 comments

Writes Halley in Idaho: “Yeahhh, that’s my mom and my grandpa right there. (This is what happens when old people join Facebook.)”

related: Busted by Facebook
extra credit: Facebook embroidery

FILED UNDER: birthday · Facebook · Idaho · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2009 · old folks

142 responses so far ↓

#1 Paige

Hey, at least Grandpa knows how to use Facebook! That’s pretty impressive right there!

Apr 8, 2009 at 1:21 am rating: 36

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- #1.1 Miles
  
  Well, not completely, since he posted the message as a status update instead of replying on Becky’s wall. But it’s a start!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 1:13 pm rating: 14
- #1.2 MAMARILLA2
  
  At least he understands how the internet works.
  My father , after asking about lap tops and asking questions like he knew his stuff, asked me if -when he got on the internet in Mexico, would it reach me in the States…..I still don’t think he believed me.
  
  Apr 9, 2009 at 11:31 am rating: 10
- #1.3 crazybeachcat
  
  whenever i see the old folks on facebook i’m so proud of them, which is really cheesy, but i’m so proud of them for accepting modern technology. my mother is terrified of facebook and myspace; i’m pretty sure she’s convinced everyone on there is either a pedophile trying to gain access to pictures and/or the location of all children (especially my son and niece), a rapist trying to lure women to meet him or to figure out ways to find unsuspecting women in the dark of night (especially my sister and me), or burglars trying to figure out when people are out of town so they can clean out houses (especially mine and my sister’s). no matter how many times i try to explain to her that you can make your page PRIVATE and no one can see our information, like your dad mamarilla2, i still don’t think she believes that it’s true. or she thinks that they’re all experienced evil genius hackers.
  
  now that i’ve said all of this, my son and niece will likely be kidnapped by a pedophile, and my sister and i will be raped while we’re out of town and come home to completely empty houses.
  
  Aug 8, 2009 at 3:38 am rating: 18
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#2 Canthz_B

In Dad’s time, telephone wires were connected to the stock tickers. If the wires got pulled out, the market crashed.

Apr 8, 2009 at 1:44 am rating: 4

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#3 Canthz_B

They have FB in Idaho?!

Apr 8, 2009 at 1:46 am rating: 13

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#4 jadefirefly

No fair! My Caller ID unit doesn’t tell me when the caller is driving. Old people get all the cool stuff.

Apr 8, 2009 at 1:47 am rating: 76

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- #4.1 TheOldSchool
  
  In other words, Halley’s grandpa is a lying sack of manure.
  
  Either that, or he’s trained his mind to achieve a new level of e.s.p. by divining the meanings in the patterns of discarded potato peelings left in the kitchen sink.
  
  (Probably while he’s high on potato vodka.)
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:41 am rating: 3
- #4.2 GK
  
  I’m no rocket scientist, but generally if someone said “I’ll call on my way home”, usually drives (which I gather is pretty standard over in America), and is calling me at home-time, then it’s a pretty safe bet that they’re driving during the call.
  
  But that’s just my Earth logic.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:47 am rating: 42
- #4.3 TheOldSchool
  
  GK,
  
  First, when is “home-time?”
  
  Second, nobody in Idaho drives a distance of five miles or more without making at least one stop at the grocery store (to buy potato chips, potatoes, and some of that P-8 juice), and another at the liquor store.
  
  Fact: There’s no drink quite as a-peeling as a “P-8 ‘n’ Potato Vodka.”
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 3:13 am rating: 18
- #4.4 GK
  
  Well, on this side of the planet, schools generally have a specific “time” of day when the students go “home”, followed by a later “time” when the staff do likewise. I’m not sure if the practice has extended to your backwater country? I look forward to receiving your thoughts on the matter.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:31 am rating: 17
- #4.5 bj
  
  GK, I like that you are trying to make others feel stupid for not using the phrase “home-time.” Honestly, I have never heard anyone say that. Nice attempt to explain it, though. (Isn’t what you described “after school” or “after work?” Doesn’t mean you are home, but those are much more common phrases than the one you made up.)
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 5:59 am rating: 34
- #4.6 park rose
  
  No, I call it home-time, though it’s kind of a primary school thing. Maybe it’s an antipodean thing, not that I know where GK is from.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 6:40 am rating: 6
- #4.7 Jess
  
  Home-time’s a pretty common phrase here in the UK- we generally only use ‘after school / work’ to mean once one has arrived home after school or work.
  Or maybe that’s just my county- I need to see more of England…
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 6:57 am rating: 7
- #4.8 Grimfool_Reluctant
  
  Old School — P-8 and tater vodka . . . that’s a Spuddy Mary!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 7:50 am rating: 28
- #4.9 claw71
  
  So GK’s the asshole today? And here I am, all dressed up for nothing.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:44 am rating: 48
- #4.10 Canthz_B
  
  Hmm, shows what I know. I assumed that she’d be driving home during the day, and that Dad, being the father of a college-aged daughter, had not yet retired and would be at work during the day.
  
  But why speculate? She didn’t say either “I’ll call you at work” or “I’ll call you at home”. She didn’t even say if she planned to stop at a restaurant and call, or use her cell phone while driving.
  
  Maybe Dad works from a home office, in which case it’s both home-time and work-time.
  
  I wish I knew which “side of the planet” we were talking about. It can’t be a UK/US thing, because they are both in the Western and Northern Hemispheres.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:49 am rating: 7
- #4.11 Meesh
  
  TheOldSchool, I’ve never been to Idaho. What’s it like?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:55 am rating: 1
- #4.12 Canthz_B
  
  Not to put “home-time” down since it seems to be a phrase well used outside the US, we’d usually call that “after-work” or “at night”.
  As in “I’ll call you after work” or “I’ll call you tonight (tomorrow night, etc.)”.
  
  Just figured while we’re informing each other so courteously about our ways I’d chip in.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 9:06 am rating: 7
- #4.13 matt
  
  jess: Same in oz. we use the phrase home time all the time – even in my current employment as a nurse, and I’ve been out of school for 8 years now.
  
  Sorry America you’re backwards on this one. Catch up with the rest of the world and start using the phrase – you never know it could even work it’s way onto a t.v program and educate the US of A masses.
  
  You could also do well to abandon the Imperial measurement idea and go with metric instead, it might stop my toilet leaking from ill fitting US made plumbing.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 10:22 am rating: 11
- #4.14 yomama
  
  Matt: We don’t like you either.
  
  “Greg’s a male nurse”.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 11:16 am rating: 15
- #4.15 aaa
  
  Honoes! How the hell did it happen that people in different countries use different colloquialisms for the same things?!?!?! (For the love of god, please don’t tell me that people within countries say things differently! I might die!) I mean, what the hell am I going to do now that we’re not all exactly the same? Somebody has to be the right one, right?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 11:17 am rating: 48
- #4.16 mamason
  
  Make your own damn plumbing then mate!
  
  *knows there’s a joke here somewhere about leaking down-under but can’t think of it…crikey*
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 11:21 am rating: 9
- #4.17 aaa
  
  Mayhap matt should invest in some Avodart?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 11:25 am rating: 3
- #4.18 Scribbles the Monkey
  
  Right, I’m off to wicket at home-time on the telly.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 11:52 am rating: 7
- #4.19 The T word
  
  My hovercraft is full of eels!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 12:35 pm rating: 21
- #4.20 gargggg
  
  you cant get high off potato vodka! but you can get piss drunk… it’s great. try it sometime.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:40 pm rating: 2
- #4.21 brownEye
  
  @aaa: Yinz don’t know half of the slang/colloquialisms that one city has managed to breed. Hoogies being prime example. I guess they are what Yinz would buy at Subway. Number two would be thorn bushes, we call them jagger bushes.
  
  +10 if you figure out where I’m from.
  
  home-time sounds like a set time for dinner or family night if that still exists. Just don’t get how it could mean after-work/school. Most people I know don’t even go home after work or school. Their is shopping to do, dinner to pick up, and friends to meet.
  
  @GK: What do you call it when you are doing those things, when your suppose to be on home-time?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:51 pm rating: 3
- #4.22 bookgirl
  
  Go Steelers!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:04 pm rating: 0
- #4.23 TheOldSchool
  
  Grimfool,
  
  re: 4.8.
  
  Four spuddies: you’re half baked.
  
  Ten spuddies: you’re absolutely russeted.
  
  Fourteen spuddies: you’re a Mr. Potato Head with surrealistically-placed facial features.
  
  Eighteen spuddies: you’re in the Lou zone.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:27 pm rating: 3
- #4.24 Canthz_B
  
  I wanted to get a hoagie/sub/grinder for dinner, but I couldn’t find an Underground franchise.
  I decided to give up and keep on lorry’n home.
  
  Eat Fresh!!
  
  Hey, Matt, American plumbing fixtures aren’t made to be used upside down!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:35 pm rating: 3
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#5 SLianne

Haha, my Mom and Grandma(who’s 80something) are on FB. I often feel guilty for my drunken status messages.

Apr 8, 2009 at 1:55 am rating: 9

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- #5.1 TheOldSchool
  
  If you stay drunk all the time, the guilt you feel will cease to be an issue. Trust me.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:25 am rating: 22
- #5.2 Grimfool_Reluctant
  
  Oka — wait a minute… I always used to trust people who feel no guilt. That’s how I lost my Klondike bars!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 7:57 am rating: 5
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#6 mamason

Come on, Lou! Just answer your damn Jitterbug!

Apr 8, 2009 at 2:41 am rating: 23

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- #6.1 anglophile
  
  He can’t hear it ringing because the batteries in his hearing aids are dead.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:03 am rating: 2
- #6.2 Bunnee
  
  And even if he could hear it, he couldn’t get to it because his Travelark has a flat.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 10:08 am rating: 2
- #6.3 The T word
  
  “Help me I can’t answer my phone”
  
  “help is on the way Mr. Jones”
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:27 pm rating: 8
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#7 TheOldSchool

This being Idaho, Lou should probably be more concerned with the call ending in a mash.

Apr 8, 2009 at 2:44 am rating: 10

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#8 GK

Can’t she just wait until she gets home if, as “Lou” claims, she previously knew he didn’t like people phoning while driving? I mean, unless singing “Happy Birthday” to someone is such an urgent task that it simply must be completed before then.

Apr 8, 2009 at 2:44 am rating: 2

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- #8.1 TheOldSchool
  
  GK,
  
  Hello? Did you read what Halley said?
  
  Grandpa’s older than dirt. He could have eaten his last potato, or burned his last white front lawn cross before Becky arrived. (This being Idaho, the chances are good that Becky’s going to be walking barefooted and wearing nothing but a dress made out of a potato sack.)
  
  Sing while you can, whenever you can, Becky! Don’t let Lou die without hearing that song one last time.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 3:32 am rating: 13
- #8.2 GK
  
  Yes, I saw what she said. She said he was her grandfather, which means he could be anywhere from 40 to 100+ years old. I must have missed the part where she said he was “older than dirt”. Damn these poor tired old man eyes of mine!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:29 am rating: 5
- #8.3 park rose
  
  But, if he was 40 years old, that would make the submitter (Halley) about 13 at the most, and more likely, about 2, unless very early teen pregnancies run through the family. *runs for cover. math[s] isn’t really my strong suit*
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 5:25 am rating: 6
- #8.4 Grimfool_Reluctant
  
  I’d say Halley is younger than 13.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 7:52 am rating: 1
- #8.5 anglophile
  
  Well, obviously, very early teen pregnancies run in the family if Becky, the mother, is still in school and Halley’s old enough to submit the note!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:07 am rating: 4
- #8.6 Meesh
  
  I love that GK put “Lou” in quotes, as if GK is suspicious that that’s Grandpa’s real name, like it’s all a little too convenient…
  
  Too cute!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:51 am rating: 7
- #8.7 GK
  
  Oh, sure, he claims his name’s “Lou”, and then suddenly BAM short for Louise I was born a girl isn’t this comfortable have you seen my facebook?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 9:22 am rating: 3
- #8.8 TheOldSchool
  
  Grimfool,
  
  Re: 8.4:
  
  Careful. In the slang of some localities, the phrase: “I’d say,” means: “I sure hope that.”
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:18 pm rating: 0
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#9 TheOldSchool

Maybe Grandpa Lou is really just polite telling daughter Becky to piss off.

She does seem like the kind of person who, even if you saw her just twice every thirty years or so, it would seem like one time too many.

Becky sucks. She should let Lou get pig-eyed in peace.

Apr 8, 2009 at 2:53 am rating: 6

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- #9.1 Grimfool_Reluctant
  
  I don’t get it . . . why does she seem like that kind of person? Because she wished her father a happy birthday?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 7:54 am rating: 5
- #9.2 Meesh
  
  No, it’s because she wished him a happy birthday on Facebook. Only tools use Facebook. Everybody knows that.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:36 am rating: 6
- #9.3 mamason
  
  Hey! I resemble that remark.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 11:25 am rating: 4
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#10 not_an_ola

He’s totally right, you know. I hate it when people call me from the road. I hate it even more when I am in the car with someone who is using their cell phone because they are risking my life as well as theirs.

Apr 8, 2009 at 3:52 am rating: 8

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- #10.1 claw71
  
  I don’t know, if they aren’t on the phone they might get distracted by your smug sense of superiority.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:46 am rating: 45
- #10.2 Meesh
  
  You know what I hate? When someone can’t seem to use the right pronoun.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:59 am rating: 9
- #10.3 anglophile
  
  “They/them/their” was once an accepted pronoun to denote one person of unknown gender. Using “he/his” was an artificial rule foisted upon children by pedantic school teachers trying to force English to conform to Latin rules. It then progressed even further down the path of folly as “he or she/his or hers” so the ladies wouldn’t feel left out. When people speak, they don’t say “his or hers”, they say “their”.
  
  Who wants to join me in the fight to bring back “their”?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 9:37 am rating: 45
- #10.4 Mishee™
  
  Hmm, I didn’t even think about someone else in the car using their (their!) phone as putting my life in danger.
  
  I just think its fucking RUDE to sit there jabbering away with someone else when you have a passenger who is only left to sit there and stare out the window while they talk about stupid shit with mom or sister and they end up totally excluding the person who is actually in their (their!) presence…
  
  But putting your life in danger… that’s a new one…
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 9:40 am rating: 12
- #10.5 amy d
  
  Me! I was struggling to figure out which pronoun Meesh didn’t like. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even know that the use of they/their was inacceptable now. Does that mean my age is showing?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 9:41 am rating: 5
- #10.6 Resident Grammarian esq
  
  Not me! Pedantry is awesome. If someone doesn’t like it I suppose it’s his/her perogative.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 10:08 am rating: 11
- #10.7 Meesh
  
  Consider this example: “That person called the students, and they decided to call them back.”
  
  Using a plural pronoun to refer to a singular noun leads to confusion; shouldn’t we strive to be as clear as possible? Besides, it’s as easy to choose “he” or “she” is it is to pick “their.”
  
  And “inacceptable”? Are you trying to kill me?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 10:08 am rating: 6
- #10.8 Mishee™
  
  Some people might be trying to kill you.
  
  From what I heard they don’t like that your name is so close to mine.
  
  Me, I am ™, so I don’t worry.
  
  I’m jus’ sayin’… watch your back.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 10:14 am rating: 8
- #10.9 amy d
  
  Not purposely. I think I combined two words inadvertently. I don’t believe I have ever said or typed inacceptable before. I may have a brain tumor that leads to stupidity while typing.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 10:16 am rating: 4
- #10.10 anglophile
  
  You’re just a bunch of prescriptivists!
  
  Meesh, what I am saying is that, for most of Modern English’s history, they/their/them was both a plural and a singular pronoun, being used as the singular when speaking of a person of unknown gender.
  
  Really, you can trust me on this.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 10:18 am rating: 8
- #10.11 matt
  
  What is all this fuss about? Anyone heard of hands-free mobile conversations – or has that not reached the US yet?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 10:30 am rating: 5
- #10.12 Mishee™
  
  amy – As my governor (not MY choice but whatever…) would say…
  
  “It’s not a tuma…”
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 10:42 am rating: 5
- #10.13 Sirius
  
  “Inacceptable” is pretty obscure but is technically – well, acceptable.
  
  “Perogative”, however, is totally wrong, especially for a self-proclaimed Resident Grammarian.
  
  (Bobby Brown got away with it, but then, he got away with a lot of shit.)
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 10:47 am rating: 5
- #10.14 aaa
  
  Heh, and they say Americans are arrogant bastards!
  
  a) Studies have shown that it’s not just having your hands occupied that’s dangerous, it’s the conversation that’s distracting. Passengers aren’t so distracting because they’re there in the car with you and thus know when to shut the hell up.
  
  b) Bluetooth headsets and the like make you look like a tool. You have the phone in your hand to make you a) not look like a jackass and b) let other people know that you’re not talking to yourself like a weirdo. Everybody knows that.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 11:10 am rating: 13
- #10.15 mamason
  
  Matt, you need to chill. Throw a prawn on the barbie. Have a Foster’s and go on outback and fuck a kangaroo. Good on ya.
  
  *arrogant bastard. doesn’t he know he lives in a penal colony?*
  
  *penal colony*
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 11:34 am rating: 8
- #10.16 secondsout
  
  Me fail English? That’s unpossible?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 12:31 pm rating: 8
- #10.17 aaa
  
  Is it full of cockpits and boobie traps, mamason?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 1:47 pm rating: 2
- #10.18 Meesh
  
  anglophile, I trust you! And I am totally a prescriptivist. Guilty as charged.
  
  “You’re not wrong, Walter, you’re just an asshole.”
  
  And Mishee, at least I can die happy because you have addressed me personally.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:20 pm rating: 0
- #10.19 mamason
  
  I’m a prescriptivist too but I need my meds.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:29 pm rating: 1
- #10.20 Resident Grammarian esq
  
  I’m a grammarian not a spellarian!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:33 pm rating: 9
- #10.21 Mishee™
  
  *doesn’t address just ANYONE personally*
  
  But when I do, it’s not always a good thing…
  
  BTW, sout – Ralph Wiggum’s greatest line ever. You make me proud.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:04 pm rating: 0
- #10.22 So that's what a troll looks like!
  
  ^oo^
  (..)
  () ()
  ()__()
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:30 pm rating: 0
- #10.23 Frankie
  
  It was supposed to be different.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:38 pm rating: 0
- #10.24 Canthz_B
  
  Looks like Matt got up on the wrong side of the equator this morning!
  
  ♫ Got them end of summer blues, them end of summer blues, them ever-lovin’ end o’sum-mer blu-ues! ♫
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 9:03 pm rating: 0
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#11 Sazzie

Good for Grandpa!

Apr 8, 2009 at 5:12 am rating: 0

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#12 Grimfool_Reluctant

Right now, Halley thinks she’s so cool; she got her post on PAN and at the same time, she was able to get in a dig at her mom and her grandpa. I’d be so Team Anti-Halley right now except probably that IS what passes for cool in Idaho.

Halley’s mom and gramps sound fairly cool. At least he’s not leaving tear-stained rants about Klondike bars (yet).

Wear the unitard, ungrateful child. And please use Purell on your hands before you touch it.

Apr 8, 2009 at 7:45 am rating: 3

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#13 Woman on the Verge

Wait, Crash hasn’t been around in ages. How did he get involved with Becky and Grandpa?

Apr 8, 2009 at 8:35 am rating: 3

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#14 Woman on the Verge

Lou’s message would be much more PA if it said: “Call me from the hospital after your accident and I’ll send a cab”.

Apr 8, 2009 at 8:36 am rating: 8

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#15 Quite Contrary

Lou likes his own status line? A little self important, no?

Apr 8, 2009 at 8:39 am rating: 4

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- #15.1 claw71
  
  I plus myself (I want you to plus me)
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 9:01 am rating: 15
- #15.2 Meesh
  
  When I fall down, I want you above me.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 9:06 am rating: 2
- #15.3 mamason
  
  When I think about you, I plus myself.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 12:18 pm rating: 17
- #15.4 The T word
  
  I don’t want anybody else, oooooh I plus myself. Aaaaaah oooooh
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:43 pm rating: 4
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#16 Meesh

Is it just me? This doesn’t seem all that passive aggressive. Grandpa is laying on the guilt pretty thick, that’s for sure, but I don’t think it’s PA. Maybe if he had written “Just be sure to call before you start drinking,” or maybe if there were hearts or emoticons in the message it would be a better PAN.

Apr 8, 2009 at 8:47 am rating: 0

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- #16.1 aaa
  
  http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/wtf/
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 11:13 am rating: 2
- #16.2 Meesh
  
  Thanks, bro.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:21 pm rating: 0
- #16.3 aaa
  
  I’m a bro now! c: It’s not like I wasn’t hermaphrodite before. And CB really is a lady.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:03 pm rating: 1
- #16.4 Mishee™
  
  A white lady at that.
  
  I think she is a member of the Junior League.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:07 pm rating: 1
- #16.5 aaa
  
  I thought she was an Asian Elvis impersonator.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:13 pm rating: 1
- #16.6 Mishee™
  
  Only on weekends and holidays.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:14 pm rating: 1
- #16.7 The T word
  
  No I am the former Las Vegas midget asian showgirl. I walk with a limp and have a lazy eye.
  Everyone knows that CB was a Savannah Junior League Debutante! sheesh.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:46 pm rating: 2
- #16.8 Reeses Lover Lover
  
  That was you? I have a paternity test I need you to take.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 5:38 pm rating: 4
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#17 claw71

Ok, we all know that Idaho is populated with genetically engineered humanoids specifically designed to root around in the rich volcanic soil to gently harvest potatoes–you know, like CHUDs with less intelligence. They were never supposed to develop the capacity to speak, let alone master technology like Facebook. Something has gone tragically wrong. I bet it’s because of those “extreme” skiers and snowboarders. Getting high and mating with CHUDs, that figures.

Apr 8, 2009 at 8:59 am rating: 4

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#18 Mishee™

Facebook Wednesday?

Meh.

Apr 8, 2009 at 9:12 am rating: 2

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#19 Mishee™

So, Dad is technologically advanced enough to have a Facebook account, yet he has never heard of a bluetooth headset?

Apr 8, 2009 at 9:15 am rating: 5

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- #19.1 claw71
  
  That’s why he’s worried. He’s still using one of those old school 80s cell phones. How is his daughter going to hold a 20 pound handset to her ear while she’s driving home?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 9:17 am rating: 9
- #19.2 Scribbles the Monkey
  
  Have you got shit in your eyes? Didn’t you read the above comment referring to the studies that show that it is not the cell phone or blue tooth apparatus that is distracting, but rather the conversation itself?
  
  Get your head out of your ass!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 12:07 pm rating: 2
- #19.3 anglophile
  
  We’ll have less shit-flinging if it’s all the same to you, Scribbles. No one wants monkey shit in their eyes.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 12:27 pm rating: 7
- #19.4 claw71
  
  Wow, Scribbles, you really got worked up there, didn’t you. Studies, eh?
  
  Sorry, but is driving while talking on a cell phone (bluetooth or otherwise) more distracting than trying to negoiate rush hour traffic with a Baconator cheeseburger from Wendy’s in one hand and the other periodically reaching for the fries? Doubt it.
  
  And if the conversation is the problem, what then do the sudies say about people who sing along with the radio?
  
  I just find it hard to believe that I’m more distracted by a conversation via bluetooth than I am when I soulfully belt out I Hate This Part on the way into work.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 12:45 pm rating: 5
- #19.5 aaa
  
  Scribbles, you can take it down a couple notches. *sigh*
  
  And it wasn’t either/or with the conversation vs. shit in the hand being distracting, it was more “They’re both distracting, so now we’re not letting you use the ‘safety’ thing as an excuse to look like a schizophrenic wanker with your headset.” But any reason good enough reason for me to keep those Bluetooth bastards out of people’s ears.
  
  Besides, don’t you know that cell phones give you brain cancer and that fecal mist will kill you in your sleep?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 1:52 pm rating: 3
- #19.6 Canthz_B
  
  Studies have shown that if you check the time stamps of comments before you accuse someone of having their/his/her head up their/his/her ass, you can avoid showing what an idiot you truly are to the entire world.
  
  Fact is, Mishee’s comment was made before the comments above it.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 9:10 pm rating: 5
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#20 claw71

I do think it’s funny how out-of-touch Lou is. The poor guy is all “I don’t be takin no calls from people when they be drivin’” I bet he’s one of those coots who does a 15 point vehicle inspection before every drive, even if he’s just heading to the corner store for a pack of Winstons.

Meanwhile, Halley’s three sheets to the wind and zipping down I-94, steering with her knee so she can check her Facebook updates with one hand while the other’s down her boyfriend’s pants. But, hey, she’s a promise keeper. Her “technical” virginity will remain intact until she’s married. Or until dad slips into her room one night after having one Spuddy Mary too many.

Apr 8, 2009 at 9:15 am rating: 9

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- #20.1 The T word
  
  And that is how they roll in the Gem State!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:48 pm rating: 2
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#21 Joe

Your mom goes to college!

Apr 8, 2009 at 10:12 am rating: 4

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#22 souldesqueeze

Hey, I’m with Grampa on this one. Stay off the fucking phone when you’re driving.

Apr 8, 2009 at 10:41 am rating: 13

reply to this comment
- #22.1 mamason
  
  How about you stay off the road while I’m talking on the phone?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 11:38 am rating: 7
- #22.2 not me!
  
  Team grandpa!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:08 pm rating: 5
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#23 LeChat

hm.. maybe halley’s mom works as a teacher? or she went to college as some sort of self-fulfillment after having worked for a couple of years? i refuse to believe that teenage pregnancies run in the family ^^

Apr 8, 2009 at 10:55 am rating: 3

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#24 aaa

I was always creeped out by the idea of friending your family on Facebook. Thank god my parents are too apathetic about the internet to dick with social networking.

Apr 8, 2009 at 10:56 am rating: 5

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- #24.1 claw71
  
  I don’t want to be friends with my parents, on internets or otherwise. It’s bad enough that I have to pretend I like them during familial events.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 1:04 pm rating: 10
- #24.2 DearJane
  
  My mother is still trying to figure out how to use her debit card, let alone start using facebook..
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 1:40 pm rating: 3
- #24.3 mamason
  
  Isn’t that cute? Claw calls his family’s incestuous orgies “familial events.”
  
  And you know you like it. Don’t lie.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:00 pm rating: 6
- #24.4 claw71
  
  Only if my sister’s there. That bitch could suck a golf ball through a garden house.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:42 pm rating: 5
- #24.5 Reeses Lover Lover
  
  She’s been known to eat a Heath Bar Klondike Bar in one bite, too.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 5:41 pm rating: 1
- #24.6 mamason
  
  She’s kind of a fatty-boom-ba-latty, huh?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 8:09 pm rating: 1
- #24.7 crazybeachcat
  
  dearjane, my parents don’t even HAVE debit cards, so your mom’s at least a step above them. i’m not sure why they don’t, my mom probably thinks they’re somehow dangerous and my dad just doesn’t give a shit. my mom’s becoming increasing pressured to stop using checks…so many places won’t take checks anymore and she just can’t believe it.
  
  it’s getting a little embarrassing to be standing there with her while she take 3 1/2 hours to write out those damn checks.
  
  Aug 8, 2009 at 4:02 am rating: 0
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#25 Poker in the rear

I think Grandpa’s got something against multi-tasking.

Apr 8, 2009 at 11:25 am rating: 0

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- #25.1 claw71
  
  No he doesn’t. Look at him: dude gets himself a facebook account so he can “keep in touch with his family” but he didn’t post a profile picture. Why? So he can “friend” all of Halley’s home girls and get himself a little strange. So have you ever had Kessler’s, little girl? It’s smooth.
  
  No, Papa Lou is cool with multitasking, he just doesn’t need his loser daughter Becky (who’s only working on her fifth useless major) calling him when he’s busy getting his swerve on.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 1:13 pm rating: 6
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#26 Halley

Grandpa Lou is 80 and lives in California. Becky is 50 and lives in Washington state. Halley is mid-20s and is temporarily located in Idaho for work.

Apr 8, 2009 at 2:23 pm rating: 6

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- #26.1 mamason
  
  Props to 80 y.o. grampa rockin’ facebook!
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:34 pm rating: 4
- #26.2 claw71
  
  But is Lou a horny pervert who uses Facebook to stalk your gal pals? Has your mom worn out her welcome with Lou because she’s such a flake? And, most importantly, where do you stand on vehicular sex? Do you drive stick? Slob the knob? Open the logging road for recreational traffic?
  
  These are important things.
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:39 pm rating: 2
- #26.3 The T word
  
  Are chains needed on muddy roads?
  Is the seat leather or 1970′s shag?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 4:51 pm rating: 2
- #26.4 Grimfool_Reluctant
  
  Wow, mid-20s and still dissing your mom and gramps as if you were a tween! Good job. I guess you’re also a big Hannah Montana fan, too?
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 5:40 pm rating: 1
- #26.5 Sirius
  
  Hey now, the poor girl’s in Idaho; hasn’t she suffered enough?
  
  *Was there last weekend, and knows of which he speaks*
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 6:36 pm rating: 1
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#27 Halley

And Becky IS a teacher, good job.

Apr 8, 2009 at 2:24 pm rating: 2

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- #27.1 claw71
  
  Home economics, right?
  
  Pappy Lou: Dag nabbit, Rebecca, I don’t care if you have a certificate, baking cookies ain’t teachin’
  
  Apr 8, 2009 at 2:40 pm rating: 4
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#28 Reeses Lover Lover

“yeahhh, that’s my mom and my grandpa right there. (this is what happens when old people join facebook.)”

Yeah I see what you mean: they’re talking to each other on FB.

How horrifically horrifying for you!

Apr 8, 2009 at 5:51 pm rating: 5

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#29 wynne

Maybe she walks. Maybe she takes the bus. Maybe she gets a ride home.

Maybe her family are rude, unappreciative jerks.

(P.S.: That last one? Maybe not so much of a “maybe”.)

Apr 8, 2009 at 8:17 pm rating: 2

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#30 katie

Wait wait wait. I don’t understand how this could be Halley’s mom and grandpa. That would only work if Becky was going back to school years after she originally graduated, like to get a Master’s or something. Even at the upper ages of a person who’s still in school on a normal track, it wouldn’t make sense. If we give Halley the minimum age for signing up on facebook (13), and say her mom is in her last year of earning a graduate degree (and I’ll give her a year to backpack across Europe to “find herself,” so 25), that would mean Becky had Halley when she was 12.

Halley, confirm/deny? Please do clarify what’s going on here.

Apr 9, 2009 at 11:05 am rating: 0

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- #30.1 anglophile
  
  keep reading, katie
  
  Apr 9, 2009 at 11:09 am rating: 0
- #30.2 Mishee™
  
  you know, I’ve heard of things like this where parents actually go back to school after their (their!) kids are old enough to watch themselves (them!), either for personal fulfillment or to get a better job… its been known to happen, haven’t you ever seen the Rodney Dangerfield classic “Back To School”?
  
  Personally, my mother went back at age 37 to get her CMA…
  
  But if the person who posted at #27 really is submitter Halley, then we already know that her mother is a teacher.
  
  Try reading a few of the comments before making yourself sound like an ass.
  
  Apr 9, 2009 at 11:10 am rating: 1
- #30.3 crazybeachcat
  
  i’m 31 and finishing up grad school in a few months. technically i could have been done by the age of 24, but not everyone goes straight through perfectly.
  
  in my undergrad classes i always had lots of “older” people in my classes. and now in many of my grad classes, the majority of my classmates have been 40+…i’ve pretty much always been the youngest or one of the youngest in the class. it’s not exactly unheard of to go back to school.
  
  Aug 8, 2009 at 4:08 am rating: 0
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#31 Splieve

Well I’m from a border state in the US, and “home-time” is the period of time between when an illegal Mexican gets deported, and when he sneaks back in the US. My gardener has been on “home-time” for 2 months now, and I really miss him!

Apr 10, 2009 at 9:26 pm rating: 2

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#32 love, dad

[...] related: why you should not be facebook friends with your parents [...]

Jul 26, 2009 at 10:36 pm rating: 0

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#33 Ellen

Boomers invented the internet and everything that makes it work. If your parents are boomers, they invented this. Get over it.

Jul 27, 2009 at 11:39 am rating: 1

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#34 no prescription online pharmacy

I want to agree with everybody! Just GREAT!!!

Jul 31, 2009 at 12:56 am rating: 0

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#35 why facebook is sooo gonna get you fired

[...] more dangerous than friending your parents on facebook? friending a) your boss and b) the cubicle-mate you kind of can’t [...]

Aug 10, 2009 at 11:04 pm rating: 0

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#36 Facebook: enabling your Mom to embarrass you in new and increasingly far-reaching ways! | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] Yet another reason why you shouldn’t be friends with your parents on Facebook [...]

Aug 16, 2010 at 9:35 pm rating: 1

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#37 What you’re missing by not befriending your Mom on Facebook | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] related: This is what happens when parents use Facebook [...]

Mar 24, 2011 at 7:01 am rating: 0

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Why you should not be Facebook friends with your parents…or grandparents

April 8th, 2009 · 142 comments

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