The Easter Bunny is such a passive-aggressive little bugger

#1 JCole311

Thus the battle between Little Bunny Foo Foo and the Easter Bunny begins!

And it started with the refrigerator…

Apr 9, 2009 at 1:54 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#1.1 MAMARILLA2

Well, the Easter Bunny only comes once a year and Little Bunny Foo Foo pops head all year long…(God I can’t beleive I said that)

Apr 9, 2009 at 2:23 pm rating: 90
#1.2 Mishee™

I try to pop head all year long, but with a teenager, a dirty bathroom (hint: its not me!) and dinner and such, its difficult to get time to make the Mister smile.

Now I know that all those stand up comedians weren’t lying when they made “jokes” about being married.

Apr 9, 2009 at 2:27 pm rating: 90
#1.3 anglophile

I always sang it as “bopping them on the head”. There are regional variations?

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:47 pm rating: 90
#1.4 mamason

Team bop…

Apr 9, 2009 at 8:50 pm rating: 90
#1.5 AuntyBron

Foo-Foo only pops the heads of the field mice in the forest, except when the good fairy is around.

Apr 10, 2009 at 1:06 am rating: 90
#1.6 mamason

No, he bops them on the head.

Popping field mice on the head is mean.

Bopping them on the head is cute and adorable.

Apr 10, 2009 at 2:26 am rating: 90
#1.7 park rose

She bop[s], and we all know what that song was about.
*Goes off to google Bunny foo foo*

Apr 10, 2009 at 6:43 am rating: 90
#1.8 MartyB

Those popped field mice were fucking delicious!

Apr 11, 2009 at 3:46 am rating: 90
#1.9 Canthz_B

Weak, MartyB…unforgivably weak.
Go sit in the back of the class with the other losers and contemplate your future as a Walmart greeter.

Apr 11, 2009 at 4:20 am rating: 90

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#2 urmom

Ironic that this person made a bigger mess in their request that the fridge be cleaned….

Apr 9, 2009 at 1:55 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#3 The T word bang

Roger Rabbit was extremely bitter about how his Hollywood career ended. Unfortunately this bitterness showed itself on every job he had. The “Clean the Fridge” eggs never were big marketing hits.

Oooh but is that a SnakFinder 3000 below the eggs? Ooooooh

Apr 9, 2009 at 1:57 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#3.1 amy d

Those eggs aren’t P/A, they’re just dyed that way.

Apr 9, 2009 at 2:06 pm rating: 90
#3.2 Shawn

ZING!

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:18 pm rating: 90

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#4 Helena

Whoot Trader Joe’s Whoot!

Apr 9, 2009 at 1:59 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#5 Mishee™ bang

I don’t get it.

Why spend all the time hard boiling, using the white crayon, and mixing the egg dye to put a message on the eggs?

Just take the raw eggs and throw them at the lazy fuck who won’t clean the fridge!

Apr 9, 2009 at 2:03 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#5.1 MAMARILLA2

Colored sharpie markers on raw eggs would get the message across just as well, and you don’t have to wait for easter. And when they still don’t get the message,you throw the eggs.

Apr 9, 2009 at 2:20 pm rating: 90
#5.2 mamason

I thought we’d established that the correct term is markers of color.

Apr 10, 2009 at 2:27 am rating: 90

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#6 N/A

Someone shops at Trader Joes and Market Basket? Aren’t they kind of opposite ends of the grocery store continuum? I know I only go to Trader Joes when I’m feeling exceptionally frivolous and I only go to Market Basket when I feel like wading through filth and standing in line for 20 minutes to save 10 cents on a carton of soy milk.

Apr 9, 2009 at 2:15 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#6.1 TP

You beat me to it you filth-wading hippie.

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:25 pm rating: 90
#6.2 tsel

I suspect there is more than one shopper loading up that bad boy. Perhaps their tastes in grocery establishments are as dissimilar as their tastes in fridge cleanliness.

Apr 9, 2009 at 5:06 pm rating: 90
#6.3 Joshua

Next time lets use cage free eggs. Thank you

Apr 9, 2009 at 11:46 pm rating: 90

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#7 Woman on the Verge bang

Was the PA response “Fuck you!” written in jellybeans?

Apr 9, 2009 at 2:20 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#7.1 Geek Goddess

The appropriate response is to peel the eggs, eat them, and replace the broken egg shell pieces in the fridge. It has the added advantage of the suggestion of violence that just isn’t conveyed by jelly beans.

Apr 9, 2009 at 2:28 pm rating: 90
#7.2 The T word

Peeps with guns~!

Apr 9, 2009 at 2:39 pm rating: 90
#7.3 jadefirefly

Beheaded peeps.

Apr 9, 2009 at 4:47 pm rating: 90
#7.4 Quite Contrary

peeps with sticky notes!

Apr 9, 2009 at 7:34 pm rating: 90
#7.5 Canthz_B

Even more PA would be to make deviled eggs with them on Easter Sunday.

Apr 9, 2009 at 8:48 pm rating: 90

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#8 claw71 bang

I made up my mind a long time ago: The Easter Bunny is my Lord and Savior.

No offense to Jesus. He’s cool and you have to give him his props for turning water into wine, walking on water, healing lepers and all that cool shit, but Jesus hasn’t worked a miracle in a couple thousand years. Yeah, every once in a while his face will appear in a bowl of oatmeal but that’s a parlor trick compared to what the Easter Bunny does every single year. Now he’s taking people to task for sloppy refrigerators.

I worship the Easter Bunny because he loves me. This I know. The Easter Basket tells me so. Jesus doesn’t reward me for good behavior every spring. Jesus is holding out until after I die. That sounds like a sucker’s bet right there. Jesus supposedly died for my sins, but I’m still expected to behave myself or else I’ll go to hell and burn forever. That’s harsh.

The Easter Bunny isn’t so demanding. If I really fuck up he might pass on dropping off a basket but so far that hasn’t happened. The Easter Bunny is truly forgiving.

Even so, I fear the Bunny. How could you not? He’s fucking huge and he’s got outrageous powers. There are nearly 7 billlion people in the world and the Easter Bunny is able to sort through them and reward the 250 million of us who truly deserve. That’s big magic. If he decided to invoke his wrath we’d be screwed.

Jesus is also kind of rude. I can’t get past the whole “body of Christ” thing when you take communion. Communions are creepy even without the act of noshing on the Messiah with all the murmuring and whatnot. The way I see it, Jesus got ticked off at Peter, told him “eat me!” and the whole thing got twisted into this unsettling affair where we infect ourselves with Jesus. Sick.

The Easter Bunny never told anybody to eat him, even though we all know that bunnies taste a hell of a lot better than some scraggly, sandal-wearing hippie. Instead of being creepy, the Bunny provides us with delicious chocolate effigies that don’t symbolize the fact that we are munching on his immortal flesh, but rather serve to remind us that he loves us and wants us to be happy.

Obviously there is going to be an epic battle between Jesus and the Easter Bunny and I don’t want to get on the wrong side of that one. I’ve seen enough late night movies to know that giant rodents can kick some ass and I don’t think Jesus has got enough fight in him to fend off a pissed off Easter Bunny.

Apr 9, 2009 at 2:50 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#8.1 mamason

Oh, ye of little faith.

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:35 pm rating: 90
#8.2 ClearlyDemented

Consider me converted. Does this mean we get to start a holy war with Santa? I’ve had my eye on that Fat Slut for years.

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:53 pm rating: 90
#8.3 anglophile

That’s no ordinary rabbit. That’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:53 pm rating: 90
#8.4 claw71

You do realize that in another 2000 years anthropologists are going to believe that we actually worshipped multiple gods, don’t you?

Imagine how confusing it will be: Santa, the Easter Bunny, Jesus, Elvis, Stephen Colbert. Sorting it out will be impossible but somebody will write a book and school children will know the era in which we live as The Diluted Ages.

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:58 pm rating: 90
#8.5 mamason

I’ve always wondered what the archeologists of the future will think when they open the graves in L.A. and find all those implants.

Apr 9, 2009 at 4:13 pm rating: 90
#8.6 Mishee™

They will also find evidence of “Claw” – at least at my house… your DNA is everywhere!

Apr 9, 2009 at 4:29 pm rating: 90

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#9 GhostWriter bang

Wanna have some fun with the superstitious natives?

Rearrange the eggs so they say, “Please – The – Clean – Fridge.” They’ll be jamming virgins into the crisper by light of the full moon.

Apr 9, 2009 at 2:56 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#9.1 claw71

That’s not so shocking. Wade jams virgins into his crisper by the sickly green glow of his night vision goggles.

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:32 pm rating: 90
#9.2 Mishee™

But claw, you have to realize that when they are in many pieces, they fit into the crisper and the veggie drawer much easier…

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:44 pm rating: 90
#9.3 shel

I would be more inclined to just eat the “clean” egg…. “The Fridge Please” just has a nicer ring to it.

And how come clean got the underline? I think please should have been underlined, it’s a more polite PAHBEM.

Apr 9, 2009 at 6:29 pm rating: 90
#9.4 Reeses Lover Lover

I like “Please the Fridge,” because the fridge gets so little pleasing.

Apr 10, 2009 at 8:55 am rating: 90
#9.5 mamason

Can someone tell me, what is PAHBEM?

Apr 10, 2009 at 1:54 pm rating: 90
#9.6 anglophile

my guess is passive/aggressive hard-boiled egg message.

Apr 10, 2009 at 1:59 pm rating: 90
#9.7 mamason

You are so smart, Glo! ♥

Apr 10, 2009 at 3:40 pm rating: 90

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#10 MissBunny

Glad to see another frugal slob visiting my local Market Basket (or as my Nana called it…Demoula’s)
Go Northeast! Woo Hoo!!

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:18 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#10.1 Lobstah

DeMoula’s owned Market Basket. In fact the signs would sometimes say “DeMoula’s Market Basket”. But I haven’t been to one of those stores in eons because of all the damned spics that shop there. Then there’s all the hippies in Trader Joes. I’ll just continue to sit in mom’s basement and order groceries from Stop and Shop while I pop my own head.

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:29 pm rating: 90
#10.2 Mishee™

According to wikipedia, they also own Trader Joe’s.

Creepy, eh?

and if you have a problem with the “spics” who shop there, I don’t suggest you move to the SF Bay Area.

You will go hungry.

Apr 9, 2009 at 4:00 pm rating: 90
#10.3 N/A

Trader Joes is owned by the family that owns Aldis. Market Basket is owned by a different family, a bunch of sexist guys who try their best never to promote women and when they have to they try to always promote a family member.

Apr 9, 2009 at 4:18 pm rating: 90
#10.4 mamason

Ooooo… sexist nepotism! Kinky!

Apr 9, 2009 at 8:58 pm rating: 90
#10.5 Canthz_B

Wow, Lobstah…aren’t we the little Racist today?

Apr 9, 2009 at 9:10 pm rating: 90
#10.6 mamason

Et tu, CB?

Apr 10, 2009 at 2:29 am rating: 90

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#11 Shawn

New Product Idea – similar to the Magnetic Poetry or the candy hearts with little messages. You can buy a dozen eggs with pre-determined words silk screened on them and arrange them in the fridge. It has marketability.

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:21 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#12 oh really

If they really wanted to get their point across, those would be uncooked just past their expiration date eggs, and they’d hide them around the non-fridge cleaner’s bedroom to be found and the message pieced together once all four eggs were located. What’s Easter without an egg hunt?

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:29 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#12.1 Gunderson105

The recipient of the message should just smash the eggs inside the fridge with a box of Arm and Hammer.

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:56 pm rating: 90

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#13 nick

Is the orange juice on sale? If it is, I will run down and pick up several quarts to cram into my frig.

Apr 9, 2009 at 3:52 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#13.1 N/A

There’s one from TJs, one from Market Basket. But while we’re analyzing the contents of the fridge, why do they have two containers of parmesan?

Apr 9, 2009 at 4:20 pm rating: 90
#13.2 AnonEMouse

N/A, Hence the reason the fridge needs to be cleaned-duplicate parms.

Apr 9, 2009 at 4:30 pm rating: 90

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#14 Nikki

hahahahaha. One of my favorites in a long time.

Apr 9, 2009 at 4:22 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#14.1 Juliet

Mine too!

Apr 10, 2009 at 11:26 am rating: 90

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#15 Reeses Lover Lover

Oh that reminds, me! I need to get stuffs for the Easter baskets. Thank you egg message in the fridge!

*hops ovah to Target while fridge waits to be cleaned*

Apr 9, 2009 at 4:35 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#15.1 Eric

I just need to make my eggs holy?

How, u ask?

Boil the HELL out of em!!

har har

Apr 9, 2009 at 4:38 pm rating: 90
#15.2 mamason

mmmmm… Hey, Amy! Eric brought the corn! nom nom nom

Apr 9, 2009 at 6:09 pm rating: 90
#15.3 mamason

mmmmm… Hey, Amy! Claw brought the porn! nom nom nom

Apr 9, 2009 at 6:10 pm rating: 90

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#16 GK bang

The eggs aren’t actually painted. A clean-out has been badly needed there for… some time.

Apr 9, 2009 at 4:39 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#17 tsel bang

Personal bias generally puts me right with Team Neater Roommate.

That being said, this is so clever it feels like it was done deliberately to end up on the blog.

Either way, I laughed my ass off.

Apr 9, 2009 at 5:03 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#18 M

That’s an exceptional amount of time devoted to egg dyeing/decorating that could have easily been used to more productively clean the fridge or at least talk to their roommate. I’m picturing them going through the whole process of scheming and decorating, it’s got to be a long time.

Apr 9, 2009 at 6:37 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#18.1 Thanks!

Exactly what I was thinking, M. I mean, dying eggs is a messy venture, and I wonder did this person clean up after themselves. Another thing I wonder is the emmense amount of effort put into not wanting to clean the fridge themselves.

Apr 9, 2009 at 8:43 pm rating: 90
#18.2 oh really

It’s not that much time if they were already dying eggs anyway and just decided to take that opportunity to make a message out of some of the dyed eggs. Then they were going to be making and cleaning up that egg dying mess anyway, it’s not like those eggs created extra work beyond writing those four words in wax crayon on the eggs. Now if they weren’t already dying eggs and they went out and bought the Paas kit, prepared the dye, boiled the eggs and all that just for the PA message? Then, yeah, that’s a lot of work and mess just for those four words.

Apr 10, 2009 at 12:08 am rating: 90

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#19 ohyeeeeah

Oh man.. That’s so great….

An artist lives in that household!

Apr 9, 2009 at 6:55 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#20 JoelWhy

Still beats the more overtly aggressive version of this, where they spell the same message out with egg yolk on your mattress.

Apr 9, 2009 at 6:55 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#21 Bernd das Brot

This fridge looks clean to me. A little crowded perhaps, but that could easily be solved by ohyeeeeah et al. who find virtually anything effin’ delicious.

Apr 9, 2009 at 7:22 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#22 Geeky_cupcake

This is epic … such a good idea … wonder if its to late to pull this off with my roomate?
— just hope the eggs keep until he’s back after the long weekend

Apr 9, 2009 at 8:11 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#22.1 Canthz_B

Yeah…um…hard-boiled eggs keep reasonably well.

Apr 9, 2009 at 8:51 pm rating: 90
#22.2 mamason

I never knew people actually ate Easter eggs. I mean, don’t they sit out for a long time usually? The mere thought makes me kind of queasy.

Apr 10, 2009 at 2:33 am rating: 90

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#23 Grimfool_Reluctant bang

There’s one blue egg still inside the carton . . . I’m betting it has “muthafucka” written on it.

Apr 9, 2009 at 8:15 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#24 Canthz_B bang

Has the old clean the fridge argument been resurrected yet again? Just in time for Easter!

Apr 9, 2009 at 8:50 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#24.1 anglophile

That argument’s been a cross I’ve had to bear a long time, CB.

Apr 9, 2009 at 9:26 pm rating: 90
#24.2 Canthz_B

As long as we can get some side-piercing laughs out of it, I think we’ll be OK.

Apr 9, 2009 at 10:54 pm rating: 90
#24.3 Canthz_B

I swear, some people have an absolute passion for cleanliness!

Apr 9, 2009 at 11:34 pm rating: 90
#24.4 anglophile

Yeah, they wear their passion for cleaning like a crown of thorns or something.

Apr 9, 2009 at 11:44 pm rating: 90
#24.5 Canthz_B

Are there any rock-n-roll Easter songs? If not, why not? Seems like a natural fit.

‘Glo, you win a tiara for that crown jewel! ♥

Apr 9, 2009 at 11:56 pm rating: 90
#24.6 Geek Goddesss

Well, if they would only clean out the leftovers from the last supper, it might help.

Apr 10, 2009 at 4:09 am rating: 90

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#25 Regina

Sharing an apartment with Martha Stewart must suck.

Apr 9, 2009 at 11:28 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#25.1 Canthz_B

I’m sure it beats sharing a prison cell with her.

Apr 9, 2009 at 11:33 pm rating: 90
#25.2 mamason

I don’t know. She probably made nice seat warmers for all the metal toilets in the cells and decorative shiv cozies for everyone.

Apr 10, 2009 at 2:39 am rating: 90

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#26 raiseyourglass

What is a snak-finder? Does the fridge have GPS?

Apr 9, 2009 at 11:37 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#27 Canthz_B bang

The person that left this left a really passive aggressive message in the order of the eggs.

Blue Orange Orange Blue……BOOB!!!

Apr 10, 2009 at 12:06 am rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#28 honeyedhemlock

Which came first, the Easter Bunny or the multicolored eggs?

Apr 10, 2009 at 11:02 am rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#29 TheOldSchool bang

T.G.I.G.F!

Wait a sec…. Hang on….

bbl

Apr 10, 2009 at 11:21 am rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#30 GhostWriter bang

Magical Fridge Monkey Eggs hatching instructions:

Congratulations on your purchase of Magical Fridge Monkey Eggs! Once hatched, these family-friendly pets will amuse and delight you with their magical actions and unerring devotion.

(1) Choose your Magical Fridge Monkey Eggs to hatch. Blue eggs are males; orange eggs are females. It is best to hatch them in male/female pairs if you would like to raise a family of Magical Fridge Monkeys.

(2) Important Note: Please remember to place the eggs outside of the delivery carton. This is a first-timer’s common mistake, and leads to catastrophe. Hatchling Magical Fridge Monkeys that are trapped in their delivery carton will metamorphosize into Demonic Fridge Lobsters, which feed on your gourmet coffee, fine cheeses and orange juice, and leave behind sticky tar-like droppings. They are very difficult to remove from your fridge. Be warned!

(3) The Magical Instructions: The best thing about Magical Fridge Monkeys is that you can easily train them via Magical Instructions. Simply write your instructions directly on the eggs, and when they hatch, the Magical Fridge Monkeys will perform whatever task you’ve instructed them to do. Planning a party? Ask them to fix you a cold-cut platter. Dirty fridge? Ask them to clean it! The fun is endless; we’ve had reports of happy owners feasting on a tasty meat loaf, when only pickles, Asian salad dressing, and a popy-seed bagel were in their fridge. Eat better and laugh all the way to the bank!

We guarantee you’ll fall in love with your Magical Fridge Monkeys. But if you don’t, just place an opened can of soda into your fridge for a night. The Magical Fridge Monkeys will somehow crawl inside it like a thirsty bee, and are unable to get out. Toss the can into your recycle bin, and no more worries!

Apr 10, 2009 at 11:50 am rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#30.1 shel

Oooh! I want! I want!! Is this like a mail order thing? Or do I have to find them at Trader Aldi’s? And if I order in the next 45 seconds, what else do I get??

Apr 10, 2009 at 11:58 am rating: 90
#30.2 unholyghost2003

Order in the next 45 seconds and you will receive Car Wash Sloths. Car Wash Sloths arrive in what appears to be an old Big Mac box. Simply leave the box on your backseat and write the instruction “Wash Me” in the dirt on your car and in two short weeks you will have a clean and tidy automobile.

Apr 10, 2009 at 12:49 pm rating: 90

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#31 Vince

The Easter Bunny has no soul. Easter is one of my favorite holidays. It’s another excuse to paint eggs, hide them, and dress up in a huge bunny suit which somehow earns you the adoration of young children. I made a list on my website of the top ten reasons I love about Easter: http://www.toptentopten.com/topten/reasons+i+love+easter. You can vote and also add your own reasons.

Apr 10, 2009 at 3:58 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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