Nothing better than the odor of old hard-boiled eggs first thing in the morning

Congratulations on your purchase of Magical Fridge Monkey Eggs! Once hatched, these family-friendly pets will amuse and delight you with their magical actions and unerring devotion.

(1) Choose your Magical Fridge Monkey Eggs to hatch. Blue eggs are males; orange eggs are females. It is best to hatch them in male/female pairs if you would like to raise a family of Magical Fridge Monkeys.

(2) Important Note: Please remember to place the eggs outside of the delivery carton. This is a first-timer’s common mistake, and leads to catastrophe. Hatchling Magical Fridge Monkeys that are trapped in their delivery carton will metamorphosize into Demonic Fridge Lobsters, which feed on your gourmet coffee, fine cheeses and orange juice, and leave behind sticky tar-like droppings. They are very difficult to remove from your fridge. Be warned!

(3) The Magical Instructions: The best thing about Magical Fridge Monkeys is that you can easily train them via Magical Instructions. Simply write your instructions directly on the eggs, and when they hatch, the Magical Fridge Monkeys will perform whatever task you’ve instructed them to do. Planning a party? Ask them to fix you a cold-cut platter. Dirty fridge? Ask them to clean it! The fun is endless; we’ve had reports of happy owners feasting on a tasty meat loaf, when only pickles, Asian salad dressing, and a popy-seed bagel were in their fridge. Eat better and laugh all the way to the bank!

We guarantee you’ll fall in love with your Magical Fridge Monkeys. But if you don’t, just place an opened can of soda into your fridge for a night. The Magical Fridge Monkeys will somehow crawl inside it like a thirsty bee, and are unable to get out. Toss the can into your recycle bin, and no more worries!