“i’m a server at a chain restaurant,” writes our anonymous submitter, “and we have a bulletin board in the back where people can trade shifts. lately, people have been including (along with their phone number and shift information) sad stories about why you should choose their shift to pick up (instead of all the other ones that are available).” this one, though, might be the most shameless yet.
related: it’s not a race (it’s a social construct)
123 responses so far ↓
#1
El Justiciero
Oh yeah? Well I have a meeting about Slavery Reparations, so suck on that.
Apr 14, 2009 at 12:28 pm rating: +21
#2
Mishee™
What Meredith really means is that she has her weekly Neo-Nazi Meeting with all the other skinheads.
Apr 14, 2009 at 12:36 pm rating: +43
#3
Frank
Would she rather someone to take her shift or go to the lecture for her?
Apr 14, 2009 at 12:39 pm rating: +15
#4
Bunnee
The horrible thing is, if you walked by that sign and glanced at it in passing, it looks like there is a Holocaust scheduled for Thursday, March 26.
Apr 14, 2009 at 12:41 pm rating: +74
#5
Eric
Bunnee,
I was just about the say the same thing! I wonder if this is going to turn into one of those “I’m-only-alive-because -I-didn’t-go-to-work-that-day” Dateline pieces…
Apr 14, 2009 at 12:43 pm rating: +6
#6
Frank
I smell racially charged arguments on their way.
Apr 14, 2009 at 12:44 pm rating: +2
#7
Frank
It’s not actually a lecture on the Holocaust. But if I say it’s for a lecture on the Holocaust it sounds less fun and more educational. It’s really an awards ceremony for the Hide and Go Seek Champion of the World award. My money is on Ann Frank for the grand prize winner.
Apr 14, 2009 at 12:49 pm rating: +9
#8
EdgeWaterHotelSeattle
Great, thanks for the announce
Apr 14, 2009 at 12:54 pm rating: 0
#9
warinthepocket
Personally, I think Americans should be very enthusiastic about the new Holocaust Diet. After Meredith attends, she can help add (or remove/mix) options from this chain’s menu.
Apr 14, 2009 at 12:57 pm rating: +2
#10
Andy
“Please pick my Thursday, March 26
I need to go to my Grandmother’s talk on her survival through the Holocaust.”
Topped.
Apr 14, 2009 at 1:07 pm rating: +12
#11
GhostWriter
To be fair, 850 is more like a tragedy, rather than a holocaust.
Apr 14, 2009 at 1:11 pm rating: +4
#12
C
Well, sure, anything can sound bad if you hand-write it in BOLD.
Apr 14, 2009 at 1:11 pm rating: +15
#13
Woman on the Verge
Meredith would have had much better luck getting someone to take her shift if she had made her sign on her computer, replete with large font, misplaced punctuation and, of course, clipart of a pink swastika and gas masks.
Apr 14, 2009 at 1:15 pm rating: +11
#14
amy d
I see that Meredith wrote this on the back of a flyer. If only I could read what was on the other side, the real reason that Meredith wants this day off might be revealed.
On the other hand, even though the tag says Massachusetts, Google says 850 is a Florida area code. Spring Break?
Apr 14, 2009 at 1:31 pm rating: +4
#15
Jall-apeno
Well, the chain is actually called Goldstein’s Bagelry – “Now in more than 15 states – Oy Vey!” and was founded by Rubin and Gayora, both survivors of the holocaust. Their son David now runs it and he is looking to take it nationwide.
Along comes Meredith, she’s ambitious and wants to get to the top of Goldstein’s one day so she pulls this fast one and is guaranteed a win:
1- David sees that she is sensitive to the plight of ‘his people’ so she gets bumped up a notch in his eyes,moving ever closer to ‘Shift Leader’ and her ultimate role, the coveted ‘Head Waitress’ position.
2- If no one takes the shift for her he’ll give her the day off regardless. He’ll then show up and do her job while shaking his head and sighing heavily, expressing his deep, deep disappointment in his other staff.
So Meredith kills 2 birds with one stone: she moves up the ladder and is guaranteed to get the day off allowing her to hit the girls weekend in Vegas. Kudos to you Meredith, kudos to you.
Apr 14, 2009 at 1:32 pm rating: +21
#16
zenvelo
do they even believe in the Holocaust in area code 850? That may be Florida, but some view it as Southern Alabama….
Apr 14, 2009 at 1:34 pm rating: +4
#17
GoldenHomie
I can’t help it… I have to make this joke despite everything telling me not to:
Those massacred jews were fucking delicious!
Apr 14, 2009 at 1:49 pm rating: +5
#18
Gunderson105
Silly people. She’s asking for a Pick-up to drive people to the holocaust. The restaurant needs to lay some people off, and they save on unemployment insurance if the workers just ‘disappear’.
Apr 14, 2009 at 1:57 pm rating: +4
#19
Ti to the O
“Please pick up my shift I have to go pick up my nan. She is a baby harp seal visiting from Greenland.”
Apr 14, 2009 at 2:41 pm rating: +8
#20
claw71
I used to hate the cold, callous way big corporations would schedule us peons. Generally the manager writes up the schedule a little more than a week in advance and washes his hands of it. “I don’t care who works where, but if you’re scheduled on a particular day it’s your problem to make sure that shift is filled.” Asshole. Never mind the fact that there’s a 97.6667 chance that Meredith will be sent home early because they always overstaff themselves on weekdays just in case they get one of those big afternoon rushes they talk about at the regional conference. That was always fun, wasn’t it? Rush to get dressed and to work on time only to get sent home after an hour and four minutes. Nice. All because dickwad didn’t want to get stuck dealing with customers on the off chance somebody saw the coupon in the weekly paper that went out yesterday.
I used to hate that. Now I realize that working for a “family-owned” company is worse. At first you think it’s great because your manager actually takes an interest in you. Everything is done with a personal touch. There aren’t corporate SOPs to follow. You actually feel like a person and not a number on some HR manager’s spreadsheet. There is no HR!
That’s until they realize that you don’t have kids. Then you become the “goto” whenever work needs to be done after hours or on weekends. Inventory has to be finished by midnight? Shelly can’t stay because Skyler has band practice and Mark’s got to leave early to coach his twins in that soccer tournament. But you don’t have kids so you can pull their weight. It all evens out in the end, they say.
But it never does. Pretty soon you find yourself working three Saturdays a month instead of just one because everybody else has kids at home. Baby sitters are extra expensive on the weekends, you see, but don’t worry: you can take a half day on Wednesday! WTF? Wednesday? You want me to ruin my whole fucking weekend by covering the phones from 9-noon on Saturday and I get a half day on Wednesday? Why? And when it’s time to dole out raises you still get screwed because even though you worked more hours than anybody else you don’t have hungry babies to feed so logically you can make do with less money.
It sucks and you desperately want to go over management’s head and straight to HR…but there is no HR. It’s all mom and pop and crazy cousin Kenny. Fuck these people. Maybe it does take a village to raise a child but that doesn’t mean I have to be the idiot!
And Fuck Meredith too! That snotty little bitch couldn’t find it in her heart to help me serve that no-tipping 12 topper last Friday, so I’ll be damned if I’m going to cover her shift. I hope she misses that lecture, flunks the class, gets pregnant by the Somali busboy and ends up living in the trailer park behind the Piggly Wiggly with fifteen of Mamadou’s East African cousins.
Apr 14, 2009 at 2:55 pm rating: +37
#21
aaa
I’ve had to go to lectures about AIDS. Who’s more special, me or Meredith?
Apr 14, 2009 at 4:30 pm rating: 0
#22
Commentator
See, Meredith?
This is what happens when you deny the holocaust and make anti-simitic comments around your fellow employees: court-ordered sensitivity training.
It might even be one of those where they actually make you stay awake.
Apr 14, 2009 at 4:47 pm rating: +3
#23
X
You know, while I think that her BOLDFACE handwriting emphasizing what the lecture is about is a little much, I sympathize with Meredith on this one. I’ve had bosses schedule me to work on days when I had to write exams (despite having asked for my schedule in advance, which is SUCH a wtf) and then made it my responsibility to find someone to cover for me.
Lesse… get in shit at work because no one wanted to cover my shift, or flunk a class that’s required for my degree? That’s always a pisser.
But again, her handwriting annoys me, so.
Apr 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm rating: +4
#24
mamason
AP – A federal appeals court has granted a stay of deportation to Germany for accused Nazi death camp guard John Demjanjuk. The 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals made the ruling Tuesday afternoon shortly after the frail 89-year-old was removed from his suburban Cleveland home by six immigration officers using a wheelchair.
Nazi Bastard.
Apr 14, 2009 at 4:57 pm rating: +3
#25
mamason
They have nebbishes and nebechels and others without mazel.
Then too, shmendriks and schlemiels and let’s not forget schlimazel.
Apr 14, 2009 at 5:57 pm rating: 0
#26
mamason
Just payin’ it forward.
(although I still don’t know what box you’re talking about)
Apr 14, 2009 at 6:51 pm rating: 0
#27
Eric
I have a Palestinian Israeli Rocket Attack Victim conference to attend that very same Thursday… who wins?
War ensues… cease fire on Friday!!
Apr 14, 2009 at 8:06 pm rating: 0
#28
aaa
I got an ad for a furry convention on here. Huh.
Apr 14, 2009 at 9:13 pm rating: 0
#29
Rod
Yeah, we’re going to have to ask you to cover for Meredith on Thursday. Oh, and if you can just come in on Saturday too that would be great.
Apr 15, 2009 at 7:50 am rating: +3
#30
Bernd das Brot
Meredith’ list.
Apr 15, 2009 at 1:18 pm rating: +1
#31
Bald Outing
i bet she made that story up and just wanted the day off and figured she would pick something people couldn’t say no to.
Apr 17, 2009 at 11:56 pm rating: 0
#32 blowing smoke
[...] related: your hamster died? well, i can top that. [...]
May 28, 2009 at 9:45 pm rating: 0
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