Writes our anonymous submitter: “Unable to visit my mother last year for Mother’s Day, my partner and I sent her a box of chocolate truffles and an antique brooch. This is her ‘thank you’ note (which is really more like a ‘fuck you’ note).”
The final “fuck you,” of course, is the nearly indecipherable handwriting. Here’s the transcription:
Looked forward to seeing you on Mother’s day. In Lieu of such optimism I enjoyed the truffles as fattening as they are + the pin is very attractive. Thanks. Love, Mom
related: I can has guilt trip?
91 responses so far ↓
#1
Reeses Lover Lover
I am very impressed, I see Mom’s got a PhD in “Guilt Trips,” as well as having a Masters in “Bitchology”! What a role model she is for higher education! Way to Go, Mom!
P.S. Happy Mother’s Day!
Apr 19, 2009 at 6:00 pm rating: 31
#2
anonymous me
That post card was FUCKING Delicious!
Apr 19, 2009 at 6:32 pm rating: 3
#3
SARAH
mmmm fat. and fucking. my two favorites
Apr 19, 2009 at 6:34 pm rating: 5
#4
Sirius
The weather has been nice. I am dying. Love, Mom.
Apr 19, 2009 at 6:44 pm rating: 68
#5
KTS
I honestly cannot read her handwriting. Anyone care to type it down word-for-word for me?
Apr 19, 2009 at 6:55 pm rating: 1
#6
fantasy
What! I can not beleive it, a mere note from a well trained Mother has left everyone speechless for 32 minutes!
Job well done, Mom.
You can even intimidate strangers!
Apr 19, 2009 at 7:01 pm rating: 23
#7
Canthz_B
The real “Fuck You” was in sending a postcard that anyone could read rather than a private letter.
Hey Everyone, let me tell you what my kid did to me on Mothers’ Day!
Apr 19, 2009 at 7:10 pm rating: 49
#8
fantasy
She is so relieved that she doesn’t have to cook and clean.
She didn’t want to see the little bastards anyway.
Apr 19, 2009 at 7:20 pm rating: 6
#9
QuarterRoy00
So Mom ate the truffles while in Lieu? Why is she in Lieu? And who spells ‘Lieu’ like that? Shouldn’t it be ‘Lou’?
Apr 19, 2009 at 7:27 pm rating: 4
#10
fantasy
These young men really know how to please a Mother.
At least you got chocolate…
I mean really, they could have came home, is that what you really wanted???
Apr 19, 2009 at 7:34 pm rating: 2
#11
Grimfool_Reluctant
Dear Mom, I sent your postcard to P/A Notes, and everyone there thinks you’re a real shrew.
Love, Your Daughter
P.S. — Those fucking truffle chocolates were older than the antique brooch!
Apr 19, 2009 at 7:45 pm rating: 27
#12
T to the O
“No wire hangers and no fattening truffles!”
Apr 19, 2009 at 7:53 pm rating: 15
#13
mamason
♫ Nobody knows the truffles I’ve seen…
Apr 19, 2009 at 8:02 pm rating: 26
#14
Beanster
What mum really wanted was an eastern European tea pot and a happy gospel singer circa 1967, as clearly shown by the stamps chosen.
Apr 19, 2009 at 8:11 pm rating: 14
#15
N/A
There are moms who actually want their offspring to visit? How come I don’t get one of those?
Apr 19, 2009 at 8:22 pm rating: 8
#16
Canthz_B
I bet this postcard featured a picture of an apron-clad mom, holding an apple pie, with a Nazi solder putting his boot to her ass!
Apr 19, 2009 at 9:49 pm rating: 3
#17
Kip
What an ungrateful bitch.
Apr 19, 2009 at 10:02 pm rating: 2
#18
Fresca
Dear Mom,
I was trying to decide whether my partner and I were going to make it up to see you for Mother’s Day next year. Thanks for making that decision so much easier!
Love,
Me
Apr 19, 2009 at 10:12 pm rating: 27
#19
TheOldSchool
It’s a pity, the submitter (although he seems more likely to be the submittee-type) said nothing of his mother’s age or health.
She seems like she could use a heterosexual male around the house. One with shared sophisticated interests, such as perusing through art monographs while sitting side by side on the livingroom sofa.
Our thighs would touch lightly at first, and then the contact was be firm and steady, I’d make a casual reference to Maurizio Cattelan’s favorite games. She loosens up considerably.
Twenty minutes later, the air is thick with the playful certainty of imminent sexual seduction.
With her hand firmly squeezing my inner thigh, she asks for my opinion of Twombly.
As he is a God to me, I choose my words carefully. “It’s odd that asked of him right now,” I’d say. “Because I was just thinking that the way the afternoon light is resting upon your hand reminded me of a piece Cy did a decade or so ago, called “Coronation of Sesostris.”
Assuming her savviness is what I imagine it to be, she’d glance down at her sun bathed hand and see the horn of plenty next to it. The phallus that Tombly had so breathtakingly honored in that piece, would be replaced by another one, one that breathe hot new life into a loving thinking woman who had been unser-appreciated for far too long.
One, who now, was eager to make up for lost time with someone who knew his way around the art world, almost as much as he did around the body of a sexually aroused woman.
The afternoon proceeded in a wanton, reckless frenzy of natural instincts fully unbridled as she had her faith in both art and mankind fully restored and utterly fulfilled.
They made plans to visit Tate Modern in London to stare at Twombly’s Quattro Stagioni and then leave immediately to fuck the afternoon into night at the Four Seasons.
I’d remind her to send Jr. a postcard.
Apr 19, 2009 at 10:47 pm rating: 6
#20
zombieBlanco
Dreams of a land where the kids never make it home with their bags and bags of dirty laundry, where truffles are delivered along with antique jewelry. Sigh
Apr 19, 2009 at 11:49 pm rating: 23
#21
ravenlynne
Dear Mom:
That brooch was my gift to you to keep you company since you will be spending the rest of your life alone and bitter.
Love,
Your kid.
Apr 20, 2009 at 4:12 am rating: 7
#22
Gunderson105
Ahh, Long Island Moms.
Second to none in their sense of self-entitlement, attention-whoredom, guilt-monging, social-snobbery, and exaggerated-hyphenations.
Apr 20, 2009 at 4:43 am rating: 3
#23
claw71
Notice how the anonymous submitter doesn’t explain why she couldn’t visit her mom for mother’s day? Yeah. Normally when people submit these notes they have the presence of mind to set the scene by describing an insurmountable obstacle that makes the author of the note look decidedly self-centered. We don’t have that here, which leads me to believe that anonymous actually inflicted a much deeper passive aggressive wound by providing her mother with a lame excuse for not visiting:
Sorry, mom, but there’s an Indigo Girls documentary on the Oxygen channel Sunday and I can’t miss it. Thus inflicting the pain of marginalization whilst flaunting your torrid lesbian affair with that emaciated heroine addict DJ you met in Greenwich Village.
Apr 20, 2009 at 8:54 am rating: 11
#24
Bunnee
Antique brooch=”attractive” pin?
“Attractive pin”=some horrendously ugly piece of jewelry that will never make it out of the jewelry box!
Apr 20, 2009 at 10:02 am rating: 4
#25
Debra
Once, I was going through such a difficult time that I actually tried to tell my mother how much all her years of emotional abuse and name-calling had hurt me. And yes, I was in therapy at the time. So my mother sent me a birthday card (Hallmark is her passive-aggressive weapon of choice), and stuck in my birthday card was a clipped newspaper article about false repressed memory.
Apr 20, 2009 at 10:27 am rating: 17
#26
pry
one year i told my mom i couldn’t make it for mother’s day. she then informed me that she would be visiting ME if i did not visit her. yeah, i brought it up in my next therapy session.
Apr 20, 2009 at 10:34 am rating: 3
#27
aaa
See, this is what happens when you don’t set defined boundaries with your parents. When mine get all “parental” and start wanting visits and crap, I just smack them around a bit until they learn better.
Apr 20, 2009 at 10:37 am rating: 4
#28
Dina
As having grown up on Long Island myself (11776), I can relate to the guilt trip these two daughters are facing.
That being said, Long Island is such a hateful place that I doubt she would have been able to inject any sunshine into the message regardless of how much she enjoyed the gift.
What she forgot to include in the message was “Dear Lord, please get me out of here!”
I choose to believe she simply ran out of space on the postcard.
Apr 20, 2009 at 1:50 pm rating: 1
#29
that girl
mmmm……..truffles.
gotta make it to dairy queen so i can put my pinky up in the air and eat the new truffle ice cream.
everything else is irrelevant.
Apr 20, 2009 at 2:38 pm rating: 2
#30
Spectatrix
Sounds about like my mother. I was once unable to make it home for Christmas day due to a lack of funds, but busted my butt to get down there earlier than I’d originally estimated. First words out of her mouth were “you’re late”. Should have turned around right then and driven the extra two hours down to my dad’s house.
Apr 20, 2009 at 5:04 pm rating: 5
#31
missdoodahday
Your mom is a real bitch.
Apr 24, 2009 at 1:26 pm rating: 0
#32
Silje
I can’t read it…. Can someone type it out to me?
Apr 27, 2009 at 4:37 pm rating: 0
#33 thanks, mom, for reminding me why i moved out in the first place
[...] related: really, mom, you shouldn’t have [...]
May 10, 2009 at 7:18 pm rating: 0
#34 I hope you get money from everybody! | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have [...]
Dec 18, 2009 at 1:44 am rating: 0
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