…and forgive us our trespasses

April 20th, 2009 · 162 comments

Writes Kerry in Brooklyn: “I just moved into a new apartment, and they don’t have secured outside parking for bikes. My place is NYC-sized, so naturally I decided to lock one of my bikes to the banister right outside my door. Apparently that’s a big no-no in the building.”

Please Move Your Bike!!!

Meanwhile, Melanie in Newport, Rhode Island spotted this on the lawn of the Salvation Army in her neighborhood, adding “I, for one, certainly applaud whomever had the baguettes to do such a thing.”

STOP WASTING FOOD!

related: The first thing I did when I woke up

FILED UNDER: bicycle · bread · Brooklyn · food · neighbors


162 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Melissa

    The top one gives me an idea: Burrito Bikes are the new Taco Trucks.

    Apr 20, 2009 at 7:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   MuyMuy

    It seems unlikely that anybody would leave a PA on a piece of pita bread out of convenience. I think that it is a message ‘move your bike or the next time you come out here it’ll be covered in hummus!’

    That hummus and bike seat was fucking delicious.

    Apr 20, 2009 at 7:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Bunnee

      Especially since it’s a tortilla. :)

      Apr 20, 2009 at 7:23 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   marlo

      No, no, you’re both wrong: it’s naan. Or maybe a green onion pancake.

      Apr 20, 2009 at 7:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      No, amigo o amiga, esta tortilla en verdad.

      Apr 20, 2009 at 10:12 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      We are talking about the second photo, right?

      Apr 20, 2009 at 10:15 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   oi!

      Looks like Indian flat bread(roti) to me, it’s different than Naan, much more flat.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:01 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   voidseraph

      That’s (American) Indian fry bread, you nitwit. Anyone can see that. Unless it’s a chapati.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:06 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      It’s Kentucky fried cornbread as made by tutti-frutti health-conscious green New Yorkers. It’s a saltine on steroids. It’s pizza crust roadkill. Jeez, it’s a freakin’ tortilla.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:14 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Canthz_B bang

      Looks like pita to me…see the edges are sealed, but it is not totally flat? The spots that were rising during cooking are more browned than the rest…not a tortilla, I think.

      But my knowledge of “ethnic foods” is limited, so I could be wrong.
      I don’t eat that shit!
      When I want a sandwich I rely on loaves…and fishes, if the tuna mood strikes me!

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:22 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Craniac

      Looks exactly like a standard flour tortilla to me.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:14 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   Canthz_B bang

      Like I said, Craniac, I wouldn’t know a tortilla from a flying saucer, but if you look at the edges, it seems like there is a rising from there to the center-most portions…it is NOT flat like a tortilla.
      See, we have these things called light and shadow in three dimensions, and the dark spots show that those spots were closer to the heat during the cooking process.
      Three dimensional, not flat.
      Note the wrinkles from settling?

      I could be totally wrong, but I don’t see tortilla here.
      I see a pita, raised in the middle, sealed at the edges.

      But does it really matter? :-)

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   Isuck

      You’re terrible at identifying food

      Apr 21, 2009 at 8:44 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah, I guess that just never rose very high on my “really important to educate yourself about” list. :roll:

      PS, Usuck.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 9:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   BlessedMotherOfTheTortilla

      This is clearly a case of starch profiling. This is a tortilla and I know about these things.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 9:14 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.14   Canthz_B bang

      Meanwhile, the Right-Wing is calling Obama a Fascist…apparently oblivious to the fact that Fascism is a Right-Wing philosophy.

      But carry on with the very important discussion of tortilla-borne notes. ;-)

      Still not sure which part of “I could be wrong” (twice) you people missed. So, yeah…U suck.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.15   BlessedMotherOfTheTortilla

      Don’t miss the inanity of multiple “oh it must be a tortilla!” I find that all rather silly fun.

      I get the label “Obama Apologist” even if i gently try to point out to coworkers positive steps he is taking. To them the only people that are right are Bush and Rush. So I call them Bush apologists and they say they have nothing to apologize for. Hmmm, really?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 9:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.16   Ti to the O bang

      People oh people!
      It is round and its flat
      leave it at that.

      Someone should toss a tortilla with the note; “please don’t feed the pigeons ” next to that baguette!

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:18 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.17   Scribbles the Monkey

      The good Lord gave us flour tortillas in many sizes, colours, and thicknesses.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:12 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.18   MissMelony

      clearly a tortilla

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:07 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.19   TheOldSchool bang

      It’s now PAINfully obvious to me that no one here has been to Cairo.

      Clearly, the first photo is of: ‘eesh baladi.’

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.20   oi!

      It’s so funny(no, hypocrite is right word ) CB keeps saying he may be wrong and he keeps making comments too about how it’s not tortilla. If you think you are wrong then why bother, huh?
      BTW I dont think it’s tortilla either. but I lost the interest in project half way through or whatever.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:43 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.21   dew

      Ok CB, when you say you could be wrong, but preface that with an entire paragraph stating why you think you’re right, the disclaimer doesn’t really count. Especially since you keep coming back to say ” no no, it’s not a tortilla and this is why (but I could be wrong)”, which also negates your claim of ” does it really matter?”, bc it clearly does to you, or you wouldn’t have to try and keep defending your opinion. Not being mean, just sayin’…and btw, that is TOTALLY a tortilla, your basic tortilla that you can buy in a pack at the grocery store. I live in SoCal, therefore, I know my tortillas when I see one :)

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:16 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.22   Wade bang

      Hook. Line.

      Meet Sinker.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:25 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.23   Sirius bang

      GILDA: “It’s a floor wax, I’m telling you!”

      DAN: “It’s a dessert topping, you cow!”

      CHEVY: “Hey hey, calm down, you two! New Shimmer’s a floor wax AND a dessert topping!

      Here, I’ll spray some on your mop; and some on your butterscotch pudding.”

      DAN: “Mmmm, tastes terrific!”

      GILDA: “And just look at that shine!”

      *Longs for a simpler time, when fascists were easily identified and SNL was funny*

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:55 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.24   Jall-apeno

      A little late to add to this thread but corrective action is better late than never….

      Canthz B – Fascism is actually not a right-wing philosophy, you are are thinking more along the lines of economic thought – capitalism vs socialism – not political thought. If you think of say, Hitler or Mussolini and compare them with Stalin, you’ll see that they had different economic philosophies but all were hellbent on statism, albeit slightly different flavors of statism but statism nonetheless. Statism, regardless of your economic leanings, is the goal of fascism.

      Fast forward to Obama and his utterances of “Sacrifice!” as the elixir for our ills, that the common good trumps private endeavors, the need for state ownership of banks and manufacturing giants (like the Big 3, for example) and you can see why the “right” is calling him fascist.

      Personally I wouldn’t say he’s there but from a free-market perspective he is closer to being a fascist than Bush was.

      Now, from a tortilla perspective, that is the kind of food everyone can enjoy – fascist, capitalist, communist, socialist, environmentalist…

      Apr 21, 2009 at 4:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.25   se

      That bread in the bottom picture is a partially eaten or torn off chunk of steak or hoagie roll.
      probably thrown there for birds to eat.
      I know, who gives a shit?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.26   crackjob

      Helloooooooo. It’s *clearly* bannock.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 5:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.27   um kerry here bang

      it is, in fact, a tortilla.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.28   KatieMB bang

      And so the “Great Tortilla Debate” rages on…

      Apr 21, 2009 at 8:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.29   Scribbles the Monkey

      RISE, TORTILLA NATION! Do not accept this ignoble dismissal of your pedigree! Stand up for your heritage and know that you do not stand alone, for your tortilla brothers and sisters will not submit to food racism ANY MORE.

      Apr 22, 2009 at 10:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   TheOldSchool bang

    She’s lucky the bike wasn’t eaten.

    There are lots of people who consider them delicacies.

    There’s a French guy who made a career of gobbling up bikes. Once he even ate a Cessna 150. How green is that?

    Bananas and eggs made him sick.

    Kerry: park your bike in the kitchen. Leave the bananas locked outside on the railing.

    Apr 20, 2009 at 7:23 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   TheOldSchool bang

      I can understand the urge to eat bikes.

      They get in my way sometimes when I’m driving and the people riding them give me rude looks if I blare my horn or clip them lightly with my side mirror.

      But why eat a whole plane? It’s wrong.

      And wouldn’t its fuel tank give you gas?

      Apr 20, 2009 at 10:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   VB

    This reminds me of all those commercials where they re-purpose objects. On a low carb diet? Use those leftover tortillas as post-it notes!

    Apr 20, 2009 at 7:32 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   marlo

    We’re forgetting the important question here: was it a CORN tortilla, or the vastly inferior wheat variety? That’s the only way I’ll be able to judge the quality of the note.

    On a related note, I want tacos.

    Apr 20, 2009 at 7:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Reeses Lover Lover

      On an unrelated note, I want a Reeses.

      Apr 20, 2009 at 8:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Craniac

      It;s clearly a flour tortilla which has its virtues.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:18 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Ti to the O bang

      That tortilla really set off the kitchen man.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Mark bang

      That’s right, Dude, they peed on your fucking tortilla.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   lightspeed

    Nope you should definitely not waste food. You should eat it all and get fat. Much better plan.

    Apr 20, 2009 at 8:32 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   SuperMe

      Or you could only order/make and eat as much as you need. Wait, another idea! Save leftovers for later when you need more food.

      Apr 20, 2009 at 8:39 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Goldie

      Food is evil and must be destroyed so no one is ever tempted to eat it.

      Apr 20, 2009 at 9:44 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      I’m doing my part. Right . . . mmmppphh . . . now.
      Throughout the history of human civilization, mankind and womanunkind have sought for a solution to the scourge of food. Damn Dorito’s and their “eat all you want, we’ll make more” philosophy!

      Apr 20, 2009 at 11:06 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   lightspeed

      Sheesh. When did some people start to take comments on this board so seriously? Relax people – it’s 4/20 for godsake!!!

      Apr 20, 2009 at 11:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      Only where YOU live, speedo (or Frankie, based on your message). I’m enjoying my lunch hour. It’s Tuesday, April 21.

      Apr 20, 2009 at 11:41 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   lightspeed

      killjoy.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      Me?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   TheOldSchool bang

      GR,

      Frankie hates Joy.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   Grimfool

      That would be a better shirt than those lame old “Frankie Says Relax” threads.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 9:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   mamason bang

      I thought Frankie went to Hollywood.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:26 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.11   claw71 bang

      I see the problem here. lightspeed tried to post a funny comment and failed, which then resulted in a lame thread. Then lightspeed came back and laid another turd in the litterbox which resulted in even more stinkiness.

      The real crime is that lightpeed then opted to return yet again and roll around in the steaming pile of shit that is thread #6.

      Now the shit’s been stracked all over this post. Thanks for ruining everything lightspeed!

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.12   TheOldSchool bang

      Mama, you’re thinking of “Frederick.”

      Remember? He’s the nice man who made those catalogues where we order your after dinner attire.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.13   TheOldSchool bang

      Claw, you’re right about this, except for the fact that mamason is here, too. C’mon, guy. Mamason’s not cat shit. Not by a long shot.

      My eyes are getting misty now. The ammonia smell in thread 6 is ….NEED AIR!

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.14   lightspeed

      Dearest Claw,

      As always, you are 100% right. Resorting to litter box poop jokes is ever so much funnier than anything I could ever come up with.

      Good thing you put me in my place. Feel like a big man now?

      Thanks!
      lightspeed

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.15   mamason bang

      I’ve felt claw.

      He is a big man.

      And he’s got girth.

      That’s what really matters.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.16   lightspeed

      Maybe if he was nicer, I’d feel claw too… I know my way around a baguette, you know.

      ;0

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.17   claw71 bang

      Well it’s not just the girth. Those genital warts help too.

      And lightspeed, to answer your question: Yes. Although I didn’t feel a sense of validation until you came back with your punkass response. I don’t know if I feel like a big man, but if you suffer from Parkinson’s Desease, Down’s Syndrome or if you’re dying from AIDs I might take some off-color shots at you so I do.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.18   lightspeed

      I am a punkass, thanks for noticing.

      Although frankly, judging by your last response, I’m surprised you can spell it.

      Desease? AIDs? “shots at you so I do?” Huh?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.19   unholyghost2003 bang

      *pops some corn*

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.20   mamason bang

      *scooch over a bit, will you, uhg?*

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.21   Reeses Lover Lover

      Nah, this thread isn’t popcorn-worthy.

      *unwraps a Reeses*

      Apr 21, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   raiseyourglass

    Must be delivered by people going low carb. Is that a basket on the bike. Who has a pink bike with a basket.??Are there streamers on the handle bars?

    Apr 20, 2009 at 9:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   aaa

      +500 points if there’s Hello Kitty on it somewhere.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:11 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   TheOldSchool bang

      Sanrio makes a Hello Kitty vibrator. But, you folks knew that. The husband is always the last to know.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   mamason bang

      That’s because as soon as the husband finds out, he wants to get involved and that’s my special “me time.”

      *Hello kitty indeed*

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Flaboy2425

    Anonymous notes and unidentified phone calls should be ignored.

    Writing notes on food is sick.

    Apr 20, 2009 at 9:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      So, unless your name really IS “Flaboy2425,” you also wish that I had ignored your note, right? Well, excuuuuuuussssseeee meeeeeee!

      Apr 20, 2009 at 10:18 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Flaboy2425

      Read or ignore. The choice is yours. I don’t care.

      An unsecured bicycle is an invitation to theft. Next time ask about bicycle security before signing a lease. One of your bicycles? How many do you have?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 9:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Mark bang

      Indeed. The bike will end up in the basement of the Alamo!

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:49 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Ti to the O bang

      “Howdy Y’all my name is Tina and I am your tour guide. ”

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   you suck at craigslist

    I think she should weave the tortilla into the spokes of her bike and see if it makes the same cool noise that baseball cards do.

    Apr 20, 2009 at 10:32 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   TheOldSchool bang

      And WHY can’t they print pictures of baseball players on tortillas? For Christ’s Sake! It just pisses me off!

      Apr 20, 2009 at 10:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   mamason bang

      *stuffs mouth*

      Nat dordilla iz puckin’ nelishub! :mrgreen:

      *burp*

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Geek Goddess

      You don’t print pictures on tortillas. They just miraculously appear, for Christ’s sake, to be worshipped by the masses, or sold on Ebay, depending on the beliefs of the original tortilla owner.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

    I once had a tortilla with a ghostly image of Jesus’ face and crown of thorns burned into it (if you held it at a 45-degree angle near a west-facing window) but it didn’t have his statistics (HRs, RBIs, Resurrections) on the back. I was going to save the tortilla to inspire faith and offer hope to the masses, but I did another bowl, and then I thought the face actually looked more like Bart Simpson. Pondering the imponderable, I suddenly realized I had filled the Bart/Jesus with strips of lamb and cow (and sacred guacamole), and that last bowl had made me freaky munchie, so I became one with my lord and my inspiration.

    Apr 20, 2009 at 11:20 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   TheOldSchool bang

      GR,

      I’ve been pondering your profound parable for nearly an hour now.

      Assuming the events you’ve described are in accord with my interpretation of them, I’m gleaning the following:

      If “Jesus = Bart,” then, surely
      “God must = Homer.”

      Question: Where does this leave Matt Groening?

      Are we back, yet again, to the chicken/egg?

      Or is God really Tracy Ullman?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:26 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   ryanmalloy

      in that case, Matt Groening would be Michelangelo and the evangelists rolled into one, right?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:41 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      While you were pondering, assuming, interpreting and gleaning (but not following), you missed the epiphany:

      I don’t know, man. I ATE the tortilla of Turin, man, I ATE it. And it was . . . heavenly.

      However, there WAS another tortilla that had strange markings upon it. I was going to eat and/or read it, but a tall gray-haired guy in a pointy hat and bathrobe snatched it and cast it into the fire (actually, the microwave). After a few seconds, the letters began to glow, and the bathrobe dude said: “Apocryphal legends of lost scrolls whisper that the original commandments were written on saltines, but as Moses came back down from Mt. Sinai, he passed the burning bush of peanut butter and, well . . . it was a long climb back up, but at least he had nourishment. So God said, let’s see you eat THIS, Mo, and handed him the three stone tablets. But Moses saw the Israelites had started the Annual Golden Calf Spring Dance & Cattle Show without him, and he cast the tablets down in a haughty snit.

      Then, the next time Mo went back, God was like, you know, all huffy and shit. “How about we let Aaron take care of this?” God said, and Moses said, “Ah, right, you always liked Aaron best,” and God said, “Boy, I will beat you like a Palestine stepchild if you sass me!”

      Then the bathrobed guy fell silent, and, as I had no more tortillas, I started to watch House.

      The events may not have occured exactly as I have reported, but I’m pretty sure House was on.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:53 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Grimfool_Reluctant bang

      BTW, “Michelangelo and The Evangelists” would be a great name for a punk band. Even better than “Thumper and The Plaid Rabbits.”

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:28 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   BlessedMotherOfTheTortilla

      The Dude Abides man.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 9:19 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Mark bang

      I know I shouldn’t eat thee, but —

      Mmm, sacrilicious.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:47 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   TheOldSchool bang

      “OK, children.

      “Is that clear enough? You kids are NOT to go to Mr. Grimfool’s residence unless Mommy or Daddy are with you! Understand?”

      ******

      “You know, darling,” TOS to the mother of spawn, “It’s fellows like that who lose themselves in twisted things like robe-puppet petting zoos.”

      And that’s how TOS created the RPPZ global franchising phenomena.

      Remember the first commercial?

      TV announcer: “Hey, Mr. Unshaven, bleary-eyed bathrobe wearer. Have you recently lost your job? Wife? Kids? Home? Car? Bike? Tortilla?

      “You’re not thinking you want to be your own boss, but you don’t want to shave, get up, or get out of your bathrobe.

      “Well, here’s the franchise opportunity you’ve been waiting for. Don’t just sit there– sit there earning and entertaining.

      “Like a good neighbor, The RobePuppetPetting Zoo is there. Call us today. Lines and bathrobes are open.”

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:56 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   Ti to the O bang

      Blessed be the tortilla slappers.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.9   Mark bang

      Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any abusers of bready products.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.10   park rose

      pass over this comment ;)

      Apr 22, 2009 at 8:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   aaa

    It seems that tortillas would be inadequate Post-It replacements because a) they’re not sticky and can fall off their intended surface and b) freegans might run off with it and eat it. And you really don’t want to feed the freegans, do you?

    Apr 20, 2009 at 11:49 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   snee bang

      the freegans can bite me.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:42 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   GK bang

      Quit giving them ideas, dammit!

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Grimfool

      can I say that tortilla was freegan delicious?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 6:29 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   jackie31337 bang

      This reminds me of the cheese-smearing incident from a while back. Perhaps that was an attempt to use tortillas as post-it notes gone awry.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 6:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   amy d bang

      Grimfool, you did something that I didn’t think was possible; you made fd funny again.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 7:10 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   BlessedMotherOfTheTortilla

      Don’t feed Freegans, Dirty Hippies, trolls, and..uhmm…er…something else after midnight or something I forget now…

      Apr 21, 2009 at 9:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   TheOldSchool bang

      amy d, I think what you mean is that why’ll the endless fd.s are also amusing, GR’s new variation was even more so.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Wade bang

    Food always winds up in the waste… or the waist.

    Apr 20, 2009 at 11:51 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   TheOldSchool bang

      um……Wade….. I think you’re forgetting about the thighs and buttocks, again….

      C’mon guy. This stuff should come naturally.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   mamason bang

      come naturally

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:39 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Grimfool

      Whenever I remember the thighs and the buttocks, I co — . . . aw, no, no, I just discovered “standards.”

      Apr 21, 2009 at 6:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   anglophile bang

      Thanks for the corn (tortilla), Wade!

      Apr 21, 2009 at 9:02 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   mamason bang

    I don’t know how seriously I would take a note written on a tortilla unless that note said, “Eat me.”

    Apr 21, 2009 at 2:14 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   mamason bang

      Or, “Cómeme,” perhaps?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   TheOldSchool bang

      sorry… I don’t speak tortilla…. come again?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   mamason bang

      …and again

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   TheOldSchool bang

      Wouldn’t be so cute to just keep repeating that over and over?

      Yes. But it would be wrong unless we were backing our words with actions. I’ve got a meeting from 10:30 to 12:30, but I’m free afterwards. How about you, mamason?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   mamason bang

      I’m always free for you, TOS.

      *I only charge claw because he scratches*

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   TheOldSchool bang

      Sigh…… I know….

      I mean–

      He does!?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   mamason bang

      :lol:

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    Pita’s pockets are filled with hostility.

    Apr 21, 2009 at 2:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Ti to the O bang

      Pita had a bad disposition and it wasn’t unusual to be covered with the blood of the lamb.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   GK bang

    The second picture reminds me of claw for some reason.

    baguette

    Apr 21, 2009 at 2:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    Feeding the birds is wasting food. Welcome to this side of the bridge to the 21st century.
    How much more magnanimous it is to give your stale left-overs to some desperate person than to give them some real help?

    Apr 21, 2009 at 2:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   DearJane

      Maybe all they have is bread? And they’re really tired of it. They have decided to fatten up the pigeons on the baguette and then *fwap* smack them over their little heads with a stale tortilla and roast them for dinner.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   mamason bang

      mmmm… squab

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   claw71 bang

      Stale tortillas are like throwing stars.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   mamason bang

    Stop wasting food, written on a piece of bread… Alanis Morissette would be impressed by the irony in that.

    Apr 21, 2009 at 2:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Meesh

      It’s not a waste. That baguette, which is probably over one day old and therefore as hard as a rock, is delivering a message from the holier-than-thou do-gooders to the hoi polloi reminding the masses of their wastefulness.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 8:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   electric mural project

    Oh damn, that tortilla picture is the best pic that I have seen on PAN. I hope that submitter saved the tortilla, it will just dry up and look basically about the same, but it deserves to be framed!!! Thanks for posting!!!

    (oh and BTW, as someone who lives in the Mission district in San Francisco, I have eaten so much Mexican food that it is not Mexican Food, it is just Food, I can confirm that that is a storebought flour tortilla. OKTHXBYE>)

    Apr 21, 2009 at 3:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Bunnee

      Yes, and from someone who lives in Texas (and therefore eats a LOT of Mexican food, too) I thought I already did that in 2.1. ;)

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:26 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   claw71 bang

    I hope, in both cases, that a soy-based ink was used to convey these messages. Sadly, soy ink, while edible, is not very palatable. That surprises me because soy sauce is wonderful. Do they not use fermented soybeans when making ink? Why not? Besides the fact that homeless people would be licking our newspapers, that is.

    Apr 21, 2009 at 5:57 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   oi!

      Nothing made out of soy would be palatable ever. soy stinks. yikes!

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   mamason bang

      team tamari sauce!

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   oi!

      Damn mama!
      you have to mention that, dont you?
      I told you it’s gonna be our little secret. ;)

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   mamason bang

      Oops. Sorry. hehe

      Apr 21, 2009 at 2:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Meesh

    I’d like to think that the first PAN writeruses tortillas for everything. She writes term papers on the,m, uses them as fisbees, puts soap on them i the shower and uses them as washcloths, brushes the cat with them…

    Apr 21, 2009 at 8:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Meesh

      And that’s what happens when you try to type your comment while it’s hidden under an ad.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 8:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   ozy

    Put your crap in *your* apartment, what is wrong with people expecting you to not block the hallway?

    Apr 21, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      I don’t think submitter #1 is bothered or offended by the note, I don’t think she finds it unreasonable. I think it is not so much about the content of the note as it is about the note itself.

      Or do you not think that writing the note on a tortilla is FUCKING BIZARRE?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   ozy

      No more bizare than someone leaving their nasty-ass bike *inside* — but in the public hallway. If you want to put your nasty tires on your carpet — fine, just don’t leave it in the hallway.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      Really? Seriously? Are you joking?
      taking a sharpie, writing directly on a tortilla and leaving said tortilla for your neighbor is “no more bizarre” than parking your bike in the hallway?

      Where do you live that food = stationary and apartment dwelling cyclists don’t bring their bikes inside?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   TheOldSchool bang

      I think uhg03 is suggesting that she prefers gentlemen callers to only write notes on her fish taco with their own hot sauce pens.

      What about that is so hard to understand?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   mamason bang

      so hard

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Meesh

    You know, PAN is the Spanish word for bread…

    Apr 21, 2009 at 8:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Mishee™ bang

    Doesn’t anyone else here find it interesting that one of the submitters is “kerry from brooklyn”?

    Now I don’t think its the PANGoddess, as she is “kerry from austin” now.

    But still… its just weird.

    Apr 21, 2009 at 9:17 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Mish, then I guess you haven’t heard the latest….

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Julie

    I choose to believe these photos are of conceptual art installations.

    Yes.

    Apr 21, 2009 at 9:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Mishee™ bang

      Don’t tell me that you are going to express your feelings about them through interpretive dance now, are you?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 9:34 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   TheOldSchool bang

      Would you prefer I play the bongo?

      Insert retort here……………………………………

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      but just the ONE bongo. Yes, there is usually a PAIR of bongos but TheOldSchool had to sell one of them to pay for his Raman. He is a struggling artist man!

      *retort inserted*

      Apr 21, 2009 at 10:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   DearJane

      Perhaps he should hook up with the guitar-playing katana-wielding basement dweller from a few posts past. They can make beautiful music together until 10pm….

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:38 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   TheOldSchool bang

      uhg03,

      You’re too kind. I am an artist, but, really, it’s no struggle at all.

      (By the way, those of us in the bongo community, never refer to our axe in the plural. It would be a faux pas akin to walking into a department store and mistaking a sidewalk window of bathroom acessories for an actual restroom, then walking over to the toilet, pulling down your pants, and taking a dump in the fake toilet, all the while being oblivious to the fact that a crowd has gathered on the sidewalk outside.)

      I can testify to the accuracy of the comparison, because I’ve made both errors.

      Yeah….I guess you can say that I’ve been around the block a time or two. The bongo life affords one many opportunities to LIVE, man. And isn’t that what’s it’s all about?

      That said, I am getting tired of the incessant beating. Fortunately, I still have my bongo keep my hands otherwise engaged.

      Oh Shit. My blog! I have expounded in it for several hours!! Gotta go. The exit….it’s….this way?

      Apr 21, 2009 at 12:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.6   Mark bang

      Oh Ricky, you’re so fine
      You play your bongos all the time
      Hey Ricky, hey Ricky

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.7   Ti to the O bang

      Babaloo!!!

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.8   Reeses Lover Lover

      Lucy, you’ve got some splainin’ to do!!!!

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Isuck

    ::SCEEN::
    Misshe and CANTHZCHZBRGR strolling through the park.

    Misshe: I’m really glad we’re frenemies now.

    CANTHZCHZBRGR: yeah me too. We’re a really good team on panotes.com.

    Misshe: We’re basically the same person, and it’s great that everyone likes us.

    CANTHZCHZBRGR: Earlier today I really opened some peoples eyes on the internet when I told them about fascism and Obama.

    Misshe: Sweet. I was really funny on the internet today when I made jokes that reference old tv shows.

    CANTHZCHZBRGR: Yeah we’ve been around so long we’re funny and cool by association.

    ::Misshe’s hightened sense of food alerts her to an entire baggeutte laying on the ground.::

    Misshe: Oh I’m getting hungry, that box of doughnuts I had earlier didn’t really do the trick.

    CANTHZCHZBRGR: OMG! someone wasted an entire loaf of pita bread!

    Misshe drools: It’s not really wasted…

    CANTHZCHZBRGR: Hey we could leave a message to the bad people of the world, like we do on the internet!

    Misshe frowns: (to herself) or I could eat it…

    CANTHZCHZBRGR: I’m going show those food wasters. I’m going to write, “STOP WASTING FOOD” then a more important message on the other half, “POLITICS IS LIFE”. Wow I rule! Let’s get out of here!

    Misshe: Go ahead I have to tie my shoe.

    Misshe, drooling, grabs the bread and sticks half in her mouth. NOM NOM NOM

    CANTHZCHZBRGR: Come on! Let’s get back to the internet!

    Misshe realizing she’s been away from the internet longer than she’s been away from food, drops the bagguette and waddles after him.

    Apr 21, 2009 at 11:14 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Mishee™ bang

      ummmm…

      yea…

      Apr 21, 2009 at 11:27 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   claw71 bang

      This is ridiculous. Have you seen the cans on that bitch? If she bends over to tie her shoes there’s a good chance her nipples will get in the way.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:02 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   Ti to the O bang

      Completely ridiculous! Everyone knows she wears the 6″ clear platforms she stole from RB’s mom and they don’t have laces.
      Please! :roll:

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   Mishee™ bang

      *blushes*

      :oops:

      and claw – my mama always told me that I shouldn’t go jogging… I might end up with two black eyes..

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   mamason bang

      Look, you suckwadinous puss filled putrified stench filled schlopigus licking butt-plug, I’m going to stomp a new mud hole in your ass and then stuff it with your arms after I rip them from their sockets while I skull-fuck you with the strap-on I planned on surprising Mishee with tonight.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:54 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.6   Ti to the O bang

      * pops popcorn *

      Apr 21, 2009 at 3:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.7   Bunnee

      Mishee–no trampolines, either!

      Mama, remind me never to piss you off! Wow! What a tirade! I really admire that in a person! :twisted:

      Apr 21, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.8   mamason bang

      awww… you make me blush. :oops: See, I proved it.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 4:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   claw71 bang

    *sometime in the future*

    It all started back in 2009. With so many people laid off, Post-it notes were at a premium. Most people weren’t even aware of the fact that they could buy their own at Office Depot or Staples but even if they were, a shortage of cash made it difficult to spring for luxury items.

    But we had bread. Food banks regularly ran out of canned goods and boxed foods but there was no shortage of day old bread and flour tortillas. So much so that people quickly put excess bread products to use as stationery and as people let their bills lapse, carbohydrate correspondence quickly replaced text messaging, emails and even traditional mail.

    Baguettes were really popular at first because the thick, crunchy crust stood up to a number of writing implements but they were cumbersome. Kaiser rolls never really caught on because they were too soft and as they became stale they simply crumbled into bread crumbs. Hearty whole grain breads concealed all manners of ink and nobody really liked sourdough.

    In the end, the flour tortilla reined supreme. It was flat, stackable and the post office would happily deliver them at the standard post card rate. Fresher tortillas were flexible and could even be fed into inkjet printers. Stale tortillas held their shape and took on a parchment quality. Several tortillas could be pasted together to form posters and you could even use ringed binders to hold several together for a larger presentation. With a little spit on the back a tortilla became a much more effective sticky note than 3M’s lousy little Post-it.

    Perhaps the best feature of the tortilla was the round, disc-like shape. Instant messages could be sent with a flick of the wrist, often reaching their destination with a sharp thwap as the tortilla connected with the nape of the recipient’s neck.

    At first the tortilla actually hurt the economy, sending paper manufacturers, office supply companies and, of course, 3M to the scrap heap of financial ruin. Millions of people lost their jobs. But as the demand for cheap tortillas increased new jobs were created and because everybody simply ate their mail when they were finished with it, society was greener as well. Tortillas saved the world.

    So that’s why we don’t eat our tortillas until we’ve written on both sides.

    Apr 21, 2009 at 11:58 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   TheOldSchool bang

      T-mail.

      corn = standard letter size,
      flour = legal
      tortilla smeared w/spam = spam

      Claw, sombrero-tip to youse.

      Apr 21, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   GhostWriter bang

    Can nobody else see the image of a Demon Bat in flight on the tortilla?

    BURN THE TORTILLA!!!

    Apr 21, 2009 at 1:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Geek Goddess

    My building is much newer, so I had to lock my bike in the elevator.

    Apr 21, 2009 at 3:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   SuperMe

    now i’m dying for a burrito

    Apr 21, 2009 at 5:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   RaZZo

    Well, besides it being rude to force people to walk past your bike in their shared hallway (you mention yourself how “NYC-sized” it is….

    And during a fire in a NYC apartment bldg, a bike locked to a hallway bannister could result in the death of you, your neighbors or the fireman trying to save your inconsiderate ass….

    SO YEAH. CREATING A POTENETIALLY DEADLY FIRE HAZARD IS AN “apparent NO-NO”…

    Apr 21, 2009 at 8:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Sirius bang

      Team Overly Dramatic Anal Retentive Building Inspector

      Apr 22, 2009 at 11:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Tarn

    Looks like a chapati to me.
    mmmmmm…… curry….

    There are three bikes on the top landing of my apartment block, kept there by tenants (renters not owners).
    They aren’t a tripping or fire-escape hazard, because they are out of the way of the doors and stairs. But so far, we’ve had two landing windows broken from the inside, and I’m pretty sure it was done by careless bike-carrying. Of course, nobody owned up, so us long-suffering flat owners had to pay for the repairs.
    Bloody tenants!

    Apr 22, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Larry

    I think the important thing here is that we just stop arguing.

    It’s a tortilla.

    Larry

    Apr 25, 2009 at 6:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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