The car you drive can say a lot about you as a person.
Sometimes…too much.
(Thanks to the eagle-eyed Russell in Madison, Wisconsin; Alyssa in Pleasant Grove, Utah and Samantha in Lexington, Kentucky for the documentation.)
related: So if I start selling drugs I can drive an Escalade, too?
273 responses so far ↓
#1
anglophile
The whole idea of paying extra for vanity plates is ridiculous to me. But then, the vast majority of people who do it think MY VETTE and VAN GOGH are the pinnacle of wit.
I did once see one that said PINHEAD. That one was worth the money.
Apr 27, 2009 at 9:15 am rating: 19
#2
Canthz_B
Just divorced and I got the station wagon = guess who had the better attorney.
Apr 27, 2009 at 9:16 am rating: 33
#3
Mishee™
The third picture is genius.
I should’ve used that one when my brother rented on my employee account and then returned them late and I refused to pay the late fee because of the principle.
Did you know you can get fired for having a late fee at Blockbuster?
Just another reason I hate him.
Apr 27, 2009 at 9:24 am rating: 11
#4
Beanster
I’m curious as to what inspired number three to use an entire tube of lipstick…
* dreams a scenario *
Jocelyn slips on her pink dress, excited for her first date with Dave. She finishes her make-up with a touch up of her favourite “Berry Blast” lipstick and hears the doorbell ring. After a wonderful dinner, the pair decide to cuddle by the fire and watch a rented movie, picked out on the way home.
Two weeks go by and Jocelyn doesn’t hear from Dave. The phone rings. She answers. She hears Dave’s voice on the other end of the line. Her heart skips a beat, and then two. She is momentarily worried for her health, but the feeling passes. “This is Mill Street Video,” Dave drones, “calling to inform you that you have an overdue DVD. Your account will be suspended until it is returned and all fines are paid.” Jocelyn gasps. “Dave?” she asks, tentatively. “And due to this oversight, I am afraid we just aren’t going to work,” Dave replies. “You just aren’t the responsible woman I am looking for.”
Jocelyn sobs and realizes her lipstick will forever be tainted with the memory of this moment.
Apr 27, 2009 at 9:26 am rating: 17
#5
claw71
The thing I like about vanity plates is that they all say the same thing: asshole. Don’t get me wrong, there was a time when I really wanted to get vanity plates but then I turned 12 and had better things to do.
Apr 27, 2009 at 9:26 am rating: 14
#6
unholyghost2003
“58MPG” vanity plate in Madison … please let me translate. I know many of you think it is probably just some jerk bragging about how much money he is saving but this is MADISON. What this plate is actually saying is “Hey all you patuli scented, granola eating, UW Madison neo-hippie, dreadlock wearing white girls! I save the planet and my cock isn’t going to suck itself.”
Apr 27, 2009 at 9:27 am rating: 40
#7
N/A
I confess, I would totally get a 58mpg type plate for my Prius if I weren’t so cheap. Apart from anything else there’s a guy in town with a hummer that has a plate saying ’1 mpg’ and I would just love to park next to him. Maybe I should just dummy one up, slap it on next time I get to park next to him, shoot a picture, and then take the fake plate off. Then I could post if all over the internet because I’m just that cool.
OK, I won’t really but you must admit that that first picture would be way funnier with the ’1 mpg’ hummer parked next to it.
Apr 27, 2009 at 9:43 am rating: 11
#8
zenvelo
that priss driver only gets 58 mpg ‘cuz he’s driving 20 mph in a 45 zone..and while he’s feeling so smug about his hyper-miling, twenty people behind him are ready to beat the living shit out of him with active aggression…
Apr 27, 2009 at 9:48 am rating: 13
#9
QuarterRoy00
58MPG doesn’t stand for “Miles Per Gallon” sillies!
It stands for “Midgets Pounded Gently”
Apr 27, 2009 at 9:54 am rating: 5
#10
octavius
There is a real registration number in the UK that got through the corporate censors and sums up all vanity plate owners.
PEN 15
Apr 27, 2009 at 10:23 am rating: 4
#11
Sirius
These vanity plate suggestions are FKNDLCS!
I know, I know, into the ‘tard I go!
Apr 27, 2009 at 10:24 am rating: 31
#12
GhostWriter
Am I just hungry…
…or is that “r” in “Divorced” made out of bacon??
Apr 27, 2009 at 10:31 am rating: 5
#13
Cool Guy
I wish I owned a car that got 58 MPG. Hell, I wish I owned a car period. My plate would read NE1469
since I was born in New England in 1469.
Apr 27, 2009 at 10:37 am rating: 6
#14
aaa
That last one sounds like something that would get sent in to PostSecret. Maybe somebody found their postcard before they mailed it in and painted their car with their secret out of spite.
Apr 27, 2009 at 10:59 am rating: 3
#15
aaa
I’m guessing that the owner of the first car wanted to take the whole “I’m a better human than you are and don’t you forget it” thing to the next level. The “Oil is murder” and “Al Gore is my homeboy” stickers were just too pedestrian; I mean, any jackass can get one and stick it on their car. So they decide to sink fifty bucks into a vanity plate telling the whole world how awesome a person they are. I mean, what better way to show how better you are than all other humans than to throw money around to prove your point?
Apr 27, 2009 at 11:12 am rating: 2
#16
LillyPockets
I thought my dad was joking a few years back when he said he was going to get vanity plates on his corvette. Sadly, he wasn’t and he couldn’t wait to show me next time I visited. I almost died when I saw “SHOMEDA$” on his license plate. Apparently I didn’t know how much he loved the movie “Jerry Maguire”. He is a major dork but I love him anyway.
Apr 27, 2009 at 11:19 am rating: 6
#17
Isuck
Where’s mamawantedason? I was thinking her’s is probably 4MERGUY. Perhaps CHKWDIK?
Apr 27, 2009 at 11:23 am rating: 9
#18
Vanity
Seriously, some vanity plates are cute, but there seem to be an abundance of plates that simply state what car they’re attached to.
MYFOCUS
02STANG
BEETLE
MYNEON
CADDY
ECLPSE
SEBRNG
I don’t understand why someone would pay $50 a year to restate what their car already says.
Apr 27, 2009 at 11:35 am rating: 6
#19
Colleen
I usually find this site very funny but ISuck’s comments regarding the GLBTQ community are very offensive. Yes, I don’t know your story, yes I am a first time poster, oh and yes I do have a sense of humor. What continues to be posted is cruel. If there was a option to report that I could find, I would.
Apr 27, 2009 at 12:20 pm rating: 18
#20
thatgirl
cant…….stop…….laughing……..at the poster named “ISuck”.
somebody make him stop…….no dont!
Apr 27, 2009 at 2:13 pm rating: 4
#21
thatgirl
speak for yourself lady. im laughing with him and at claw.
Apr 27, 2009 at 2:27 pm rating: 8
#22
thatgirl
right because its impossible for anyone else to disagree with the clique.
get over yourself dude.
if i was that dedicated to the site i’d go thru whatever process it took to recover my password.
i pass thru. i laugh. i leave.
today im laughing at claw and with isuck. its just that simple.
there’s no us versus we and if it makes you feel better i truly dont give a fukk about any of you individually.
tomorrow i may laugh at isuck. anything’s possible.
Apr 27, 2009 at 2:54 pm rating: 20
#23
thatgirl
right about what exactly?
i didnt make any arguments. all i did was say that i was laughing with isuck.
big fukkin deal.
Apr 27, 2009 at 3:11 pm rating: 7
#24
thatgirl
what the fuck??
you can spell out curse words on here?
perhaps i’ll find my password after all.
thanks for sharing lady…….or man……..or whoever the fuck you are.
Apr 27, 2009 at 3:14 pm rating: 3
#25
HorribleLicensePlates
I know, I know…
Apr 27, 2009 at 3:33 pm rating: 14
#26
wolfpack
58MPG?? Bullshit. The Fed says it’s 46-48. So not only is that person a smug sonofabitch, he’s a liar to boot!
Apr 27, 2009 at 4:18 pm rating: 3
#27
thatgirl
a 32 year old pregnant black woman from harlem, the jonas brothers and high school dont quite go together but if it will give you a thumbs up then by all means, have at it lady.
the fact that you actually tried to sum little ol me up with such limited info means you need to leave the internet and go outside for some fresh air more often (without your laptop, that is)
what a maroon.
and the next time i get here i might laugh at claw again. does it really mean that much to you?
your idiocy quells my contractions. i think im gonna stick around.
Apr 27, 2009 at 5:03 pm rating: 8
#28
thatgirl
the baby is due on the 4th of july.
i know. i know, so patriotic. go team america!!
thanks for the well wishes.
Apr 27, 2009 at 5:24 pm rating: 7
#29
thatgirl
btw—racism isnt even offensive anymore in 2009.
at this point its just lame as hell.
*shrugs*
dust yourself off and try again kiddo.
Apr 27, 2009 at 5:28 pm rating: 2
#30
thatgirl
maroon is a throwback from back in the days. you might be too young to appreciate it. its one of those “you had to be there” sorta things.
lol……..the threats to shoot me, the racist and geographical assumptions…….good times were had by all but alas my brownstone uptown awaits me. who knew that i could garner so much of a fan base??
i seriously doubt there was ever anything for mr. claw to be upset over but rest assure i’ll be sure to check back in and find out. you guys are a riot!
Apr 27, 2009 at 5:38 pm rating: 3
#31
bald outing
too funny – wonder who wrote the one about returning videos…maybe a clerk who takes his job wayyyy too seriously
Apr 27, 2009 at 5:56 pm rating: 0
#32
Echo
Never underestimate the peanut gallery on this site….
Apr 27, 2009 at 5:57 pm rating: 6
#33
stuff
wow, people get so uptight and hateful over customised liscence plates!
I think my fave i’ve seen was bl1ng it
with “bling it on” underneath on a v. nice black car.
Apr 28, 2009 at 4:31 am rating: 1
#34
What's So Funny
I love how people who think that striving for new (and, mostly, not so new) ways to turn every single PAN’s comment section into an opportunity to stretch their anal sex joke repertoire have somehow come to the conclusion that their collective “wit” makes them fit to decide what is and is not funny. Heaven forbid anyone not fall in line with the daily dose of “oh, Mishee likes it hard,” or Claw’s ridiculous attempts to be “edgy.” The world gets it, you all think anal rape, spanking, sex toys, etc are HILARIOUS. Really, we all got the idea about, oh, months ago, at least.
The most common thing I hear about PAN.com now is along the lines of “love the notes, the comment section sucks, it’s just the same old group of people trying to impress each other with the same old lame sex jokes.” Believe it or not, there are a host of people out there on the internet having conversations with people that don’t involve the clumsiest innuendo and “hee hee, we’re talking about dirty sex stuff, giggle” ever. They’re called grown ups with real senses of humor who don’t need to rely on that crap to be funny or have a conversation with other people.
And I love how it’s all “oh, Claw doesn’t need us to defend him,” while you proceed to rip apart the person who dared to laugh at him.
And yeah, I didn’t “gigglebrax” my comment right now. I could have wandered up to any of the host of obnoxious posts and clicked “add to this thread,” but there were just too many to choose from. I didn’t want all the other obnoxious posts to feel left out if I chose just one. And, I do admit, it does make me laugh to watch you guys go into “gigglebrax” meltdown status when someone fails to nest their comments. And only you guys would come up with a douchetastic word like “gigglebrax” when a perfectly good word already exists in the English language to describe it–nest. But, if you didn’t have your little “special” ridiculous word, you wouldn’t be able to feel cool and superior to the people who wander onto the site and don’t know what your stupid word means.
I should be nicer though, I’m guessing this board is the only time most of you have ever felt “popular” and you’re trying like crazy to mimic the way the “cool” kids in high school acted.
Apr 28, 2009 at 4:36 am rating: 37
#35
Grimfool_Reluctant
Re 34.4/ Wade, you and a lot of other posters may live in “real-time” PAN, but many of us don’t. It’s almost 9 p.m. Tuesday evening where I am (so, you’re living in the past, man!).
Apr 28, 2009 at 7:47 am rating: 6
#36
ally
another set of posts that turned into the usual group frottage
Apr 28, 2009 at 8:26 am rating: 6
#37
Melony
why are people who dont agree with the regulars called trolls? does reading and commenting on this blog regularly make you part of some weird cult of snarky, sometimes witty, sometimes crude, sexual repressed people?
Apr 28, 2009 at 8:52 am rating: 9
#38
shel
I’m not a regular poster, but definitely a regular visitor to this site/ comments section… and I tend to find the comments quite entertaining. And I have seen plenty of “disagreeing” without people going crazy and insulting eachother and immediately declaring troll. As a casual reader, I can spot the trolls quite easily, as their posts tend to be insulting on a personal level at the outset as opposed to a debate on a point.
Sure I don’t like every post, but that’s what the little scrolly wheely thing is for on my mouse.. I can move on and find the posts that I find entertaining. I don’t get why people get so freaked out about a comments section, especially when there are new notes and new comment sections almost daily…
Enjoy the PA, and my long boring post
Does anybody else think that gigglebrax sounds like something out of Hitchhiker??
Apr 28, 2009 at 10:58 am rating: 12
#39
Jeanna
I think this is hilarious, especially so because I’m from Wisconsin, and you can see it on the license plate. Reminded me of the UW-Oshkosh campus but looks like it was taken at Madison.
Looks like the guy in the car is quoting the South Park episode – “I want to be part of the solution and not the problem! Thanks!”
Apr 28, 2009 at 1:15 pm rating: 0
#40
xpencivchris
lol i need to put on my car “DONT PULL ME OVER” LOL
http://www.twitter.com/xpencivchris
Apr 28, 2009 at 1:47 pm rating: 0
#41
Neeners
How many of you “popular” posters vote for your own post? Lametastic
Apr 28, 2009 at 2:13 pm rating: 1
#42
Neeners
Not wrong, just did it again. Can only do it with a thumbs up of course. Ok now I promise never to do it again.
Apr 28, 2009 at 7:31 pm rating: 2
#43
What's So Funny
I think it’s hilarious that, when someone calls out the “regulars” on their crap, it’s “hey, if you don’t like it, don’t read it,” and “that’s what the little scrolly thing on my mouse is for, just go right past it.” But, how often do the regulars here exercise that restraint when someone posts something not up to their “standards?” So what if you get one of those people who seem to live to post “first!” on a comment section? You don’t like it? Scroll right on by. So what you don’t think someone else’s humor is your thing, or they have a link to something in their post? Yet, the abuse coming from the regulars is considered “humor” and when someone calls them on it? Well, you’re just a whiner who doesn’t understand the internets, bitch!
My favorite may be the “you don’t like us, fine, doesn’t bother us,” and yet, there was an awful lot of posturing following that comment, wasn’t there? Complete with someone referencing “#34″ in another post’s comments section. Good thing it doesn’t bother you guys, I guess.
Apr 29, 2009 at 5:12 pm rating: 7
#44
wht'sinthename
@anglophile, condescension = not cool.
Apr 29, 2009 at 6:31 pm rating: 0
#45
Bugs Bunny
Gotta agree with mamason: Let’s just get along.
While I agree that the “regulars” do exactly what “What’s So Funny” posted about, I don’t care what the regulars do. I find the clique humorous in their defense of their behavior (denying they do it, or claiming a right to do it but not allowing others to do it) but again, I don’t care. So I laugh at what strikes me funny, and roll my eyes at the bad stuff. And then I go to the next site that I drop by on a daily basis.
Maybe more people should care … less.
So in closing, I’ll reitrerate that I don’t care
as well as mamason’s Rodney King thought: “Can’t we all just get along?”
Apr 29, 2009 at 6:41 pm rating: 3
#46
park rose
glo’s had to type cunt, and talk about farts over the last few days. given her pure as the driven snow status, it’s no wonder she’s now suffering from ptsd.
her decorum slipped, along with her tongue, and she made a mistake. she’s one of the most welcoming members on this forum, to old and new posters alike. stick around, you’ll find what I have written to be true.
Damn. Gigglebrax fail. Where’s the unitard, Mish?
Apr 29, 2009 at 6:45 pm rating: 5
#47
MeTooExpert
Oh gods, please…please…I can’t help myself…
For the record, I said something like, “stay off the internet” and used the insult “jealous pansy.” Never called anyone bitches. But, hey…if the foo shits, ya know?
Unfortunately for you, WSF, this is “their” backyard, and everyone is invited to play. Unfortunately for you, WSF, you don’t like the game.
My suggestion is to merely find another backyard where everyone likes to play with Barbies and drink tea out of little cups.
You’re not going to change anyone here, but I have a feeling that’s not your intention.
*fire, fire, fire!*
(And yes, I’ve been a lurker, never posted, but this is too delicious (not fucking) to not contribute!)
Apr 29, 2009 at 10:15 pm rating: 3
#48
SmallDogs!
That’s why it’s called a Pious, not a Prius.
Apr 30, 2009 at 8:53 am rating: 0
#49 Let your car speak for itself. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: The car you drive can say a lot about you as a person [...]
Jan 7, 2012 at 7:19 pm rating: 0
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