Some advice on roommate living

April 28th, 2009 · 142 comments

Our anonymous submitter was mildly amused when he noticed this little hypothetical how-to pop up in his Facebook feed. But the real kicker, he realized, is that the one person tagged in the note happens to be (ouch) the notewriter’s current roommate.

some advice on roommate living

Adds our submitter: “To my surprise, the girl never commented on it, but I’m sure she got the message — she was called out!”

related: Some dating advice

FILED UNDER: Facebook · frenemies · roommates · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police


142 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Sean

    How about not making the pic private so it can be read…??

    Apr 28, 2009 at 8:41 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   blake

      Which either was an accident or the most passive-aggressive note ever.

      It’s one thing to leave a note on the fridge, a whole different thing to air out personal business online to the world.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   TheOldSchool bang

      I think both of these people are kinda “physco.”

      Apr 28, 2009 at 12:36 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   mamason bang

      Nevermind.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 2:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Mortal Light

    Looks like the roommate should have followed her own advice about number 5…

    Apr 28, 2009 at 8:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   unfortunate names

      i bet somebody is going to poop in her shower before the lease is up

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   mamason bang

      Hope springs eternal!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 7:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   lizard

    the first five rules are actually pretty legit…i think i’ve had each of those issues come up with the various roommates i’ve had over the years.

    slash i think i was the roommate to cause the necessity for rule #2 (minus the relatives in the room part? although i’m trying to imagine the situation where this would happen…).

    Apr 28, 2009 at 8:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   T to the O

      “and this is my Aunt Ester and my Uncle Joe. Uuuuhn yeah! hi nice to meet you.. who’s your papi *spank spank*
      So how long you guys going to be in town?”
      :shock: :twisted: :shock:

      Apr 28, 2009 at 9:19 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Ti to the O bang

      Those aren’t ear plugs…

      Apr 28, 2009 at 3:25 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   mamason bang

      That’s not my ear…

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:41 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   CS Harmonikah

    oooh. She had me until “u no where”
    and #7 isn’t advice on an actual action

    Apr 28, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Merriam

      Sure it is, you should beware of physcos!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 9:56 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Ti to the O bang

      Do not see doctor’s south of the border!? :???: :lol:

      Apr 28, 2009 at 10:35 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   TheOldSchool bang

      Merriam,

      My bad. I didn’t see you’d already snagged it.

      Cue up the Physco music.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 1:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   TheOldSchool bang

      I just had an idea for a mash-up.
      Take the original music video of Olivia Newton John’s, “Physical,” and mix it with scenes and music from “Psycho.”

      Or not.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 1:28 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Wade bang

      Let’s get Physco, Physco!
      I wanna get Physco!
      Let’s get into Physco!
      Let me hear your sofa break (your sofa break)!
      Let me hear your sofa break!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 1:31 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   TheOldSchool bang

      For some reason: a combination of “Physical,” “Psycho,” and Madonna’s “Material Girl,” just seems to give me a golden erection.

      The little yips in “Material Girl” would be the perfect spots make the transition to the Psycho bleats.

      I want a lawyer, a dj, and a sound engineer to report here, immediately.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:27 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Sirius bang

      *Madonna immediately pulls a lawyer, dj, and sound engineer out of her purse*

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   Ti to the O bang

      Ah the golden ratio of Pan perfection!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   Canthz_B bang

      TOS, a Golden Erection?

      You never mentioned that you are Asian! :-P

      Apr 29, 2009 at 1:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Meesh

    How-to pop-ups on Facebook? Tagging people in e-notes? Whatever happened to PANs scrawled on post-its and defiantly stuck to fridge doors? Kids these days…

    Apr 28, 2009 at 8:46 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Meesh

    If you’re NOT having sex on the sofa in your apartment, it’s time to reevaluate your life.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 8:50 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Bunnee

      Well, let’s be honest here. It must be sofa-breaking sex or it’s nothing to write home about.
      ;)

      Apr 28, 2009 at 8:58 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   T to the O

      For added panache a broken chandelier should be included. :shock:

      Apr 28, 2009 at 9:15 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Bunnee

      *adds “panache” to the ever-growing list of fabulous words, like burgle and frippery*

      Panache must be pronounced with an underbite, from the Thurston Howell the III school of pronunciation.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 12:09 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Ti to the O bang

      ” Oh Lovey… ”

      Apr 28, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Mishee™ bang

      After yesterday’s rant (which one you ask? #34) I am adding douchetastic to my list of favorite words.

      I guess we aren’t allowed to make up words like “gigglebrax” but the person berating us for it can make up words like “douchetastic”… sometimes it just doesn’t seem fair.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   Toto

      It’s new day!!! Let it go. I say we leave yesterdays bullshit exactly there-yesterday. PAN is too much fun to dwell on unhappy people.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 12:41 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   park rose

      Just one of those little neological disparities that crop up from time to time. Don’t fret, Mish, it’s just a linguistic bleep on the great etymological radar of life.

      Panache, to dream (that one’s for Bunnee… scuttles off to check yesterday’s broumwhahahaha )

      Apr 28, 2009 at 12:49 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   Sirius bang

      “PAN is too much fun to dwell on unhappy people”

      That may be the most insightful comment I’ve ever seen on this site. I’m torn between embroidering it on a throw pillow, or calling Toto a cunty bitch for daring to voice an opinion on my Internet!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 2:31 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   anglophile bang

      *already graphing it out to put on a knit blanket*

      Apr 28, 2009 at 2:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   mamason bang

      *don’t hold back the tongue*
      I want that on a blanket!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.11   mamason bang

      …and a pillow.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.12   mamason bang

      … and a t-shirt.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.13   Clumber

      Perhaps a tat? In place of tramp stamping?

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.14   TheOldSchool bang

      Clumber,

      Tattoos? Tramp stamps?

      Just when I thought I was out…you had to suck me back in.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.15   mamason bang

      you had to suck me

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.16   TheOldSchool bang

      mamason, I just like seeing your toes curling and uncurling like a jester’s slippers.

      The desire to make your toes furl and unfurl could be considered to be a fetish, but I just think it’s fun.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 8:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.17   mamason bang

      I like to have fun!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 8:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.18   TheOldSchool bang

      I know you do, Curly.

      Did everyone buy the story about we made up about how you hurt your toe?

      Apr 28, 2009 at 9:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.19   Clumber

      Wow – perfect opportunity for me to mention that for some reason my typing fingers INSIST on typing “passiveaggressivetoes” when I am heading over here. Not sure what that says about my subconscious… or the voices, dear gods… the voices… Or, perhaps, my innermost feelings about toes…

      Apr 29, 2009 at 7:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   nick

    Sex on the sofa??? Must be crazy monkey sex in order to break the sofa!!

    Apr 28, 2009 at 8:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Nick, you’d be surprised how easy it is. The armrests are especially vulnerable.

      If you’re using the dining room table: either, first remove the leaves, or else make sure the weight is as evenly distributed as possible.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 8:27 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   mamason bang

      The diningroom table is only for eating!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 8:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   anglophile bang

      Where do you make your jigsaw puzzles, then, mama?

      Apr 28, 2009 at 9:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   TheOldSchool bang

      Now I’ve heard everything.

      Jigsaw fetishists? Is it the way the curves in the individual pieces feel? Or is it more to do with the way they fit so perfectly together?

      I can just imagine mamason sitting on a king sized bed, her back resting against the headboard.

      Languorously smoking a cigarette, her face is flushed, and her eyes convey a feeling of dreamy satisfaction.

      Next to her on the bed, there’s a completed, yet depleted, jigsaw puzzle laying motionless beside her. He always knew the day would come when he’d get his act together, and everything fell into place, but most of his friends said it usually happened in nursing homes or preschools. None of them were going to believe the story he’d tell them tomorrow. It was too good to be believed. Maybe he’d say nothing. Just them them puzzle it out for themselves.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 9:32 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   anglophile bang

      I just like the way the knobs fit in the holes. It’s satisfying somehow.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 9:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   mamason bang

      I quit smoking.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 9:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Geek Goddesss

      My sister always palmed a couple of pieces part way through the puzzle, so when we got to the end, she could be the one to put the last pieces in place.
      She never smoked (that I know of)

      Apr 29, 2009 at 1:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   TheOldSchool bang

      mama,

      I should hope you’ve quit smoking. I had you wearing the jester’s slippers — THREE nights ago!

      Glo,

      Hey now. There’s no need to speak in code. I know exactly what you’re getting at getting at. Big knobs. Tight holes. I love it.

      Most people have no awareness, let alone an appreciation, of the fact that the average puzzle takes 2,000 hours to make.

      Or that they’re not cut from jigsaws, but from a process called “die cutting” that uses razor sharp flat metal ribbon to stamp out the individual pieces. (For a 500-piece puzzle of average complexity, it may take 400 hours to make a die.)

      Think about that, Glo, the next time your easing one of those knobs into where it belongs. There’s a reason it feels so good. It’s all due to the special metal used solely for the making of jigsaw cutting ribbons:

      “Puzzle Engineered Nano Incision Steel.”

      Who would have imagined that such a simple thing could bring so much pleasure to so many people.

      Apr 29, 2009 at 1:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   GK bang

      Geek goddess: Wow, that’s pretty passive-aggressive of her!

      I’ll have to remember that trick…

      Apr 29, 2009 at 3:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.10   Geek Goddess

      I don’t remember being aware of the passive-aggressive side of her, but I distinctly recall the level of smugness with which she slotted those pieces in!

      Apr 29, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Resident Grammarian esq bang

    I love how the note starts off as a generic note about roommate etiquette that sucks in her audience (of one) to say well this seems fair. It then tails off into a rant about sofa sex. The sofa sex was so important it got two rules, one on the first half of the note, and one in the rant.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 9:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   CS harmonikah

      Yeah, it was surprising little content.
      I was expecting a list of offenses, but out of 8 “tips” all we established was that the roommate had sex on a couch and may be crazy.

      And she complains, which may or may not be worse than letting it build up in silence for a PA outburst.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 9:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   T to the O

      ..and she has the boyfriend/significant other staying there sans rent paying. Broke the couch that was partly paid for by complaintee. Undoubtably she also smears cheese on doors and leaves used condoms in the toilet. :razz:

      Apr 28, 2009 at 9:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Flaboy2425

      Jealousy brings out the worst in all of us. She only wishes she were the one on the sofa instead of her roommate.

      Sex on the sofa with parents present is living dangerously unless mama and daddy joined in for a group sex orgy which may be why the sofa is broken.

      OOOOooooooh, yeah!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 10:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   claw71 bang

    What’s the story with the relatives? Sex in front of them? Were the relatives upset? Because if they weren’t you have no right to complain on their behalf. You also can’t complain if their gripe was over not being included in the festivities.

    Of course, given the fact that the couch was broken I’m inclined to believe that the roommate was on the chunky side. The complaints were probably valid.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 9:16 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Mishee™ bang

    Next week it will be “Roommate Advice in 140 Characters or Less” on Twitter.

    Geez, the internet moves so quickly nowadays!

    Apr 28, 2009 at 9:18 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Rachet

    I’d be angry, too, if my roommate was having sex in front of my relatives, sofa cover or not!

    And I must remember to use the word “physco” sometime today. No idea what it means. But I like the way it sound.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 9:33 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Clumber

      ^ still unsure of proper pronunciation… how does it sound?

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   mamason bang

      fizz-co

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:45 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Geek Goddess

      Although in some foreign places, especially in smaller communities, it is pronounced fyze-co

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:12 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   anglophile bang

      <threadjack>

      Hey GG! Did you get paid today? I’ve been fretting!

      </threadjack>

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Mishee™ bang

      anglophile, don’t lie.

      Cunty bitches don’t fret over others.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:22 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Geek Goddess

      You think you’ve been fretting, Glo! I’ve been fretting over those frippery bills, and have been considering burgling something to cover the shortfall. Rumor has it that it will now be Thursday, but we’ve all heard that one before!

      *Lurks in shrubbery outside local bank*

      Apr 28, 2009 at 7:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Clumber

      …also doesn’t entirely make sense unless is a typo, and gloph meant “laid”.

      ?

      Apr 28, 2009 at 8:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   GhostWriter bang

    Re.: Rule #5- It’s true! I knew a kid in 5th grade who held his tongue all day, and by gym class, it had built up so much it choked him.

    Luckily, Mr. Corkland carried a pocketknife in his super-tight gym shorts. Willy talked with a lisp after that.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 9:36 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   QuarterRoy00 bang

    Who wants to place wagers on how soon the roommate removed the sofa cover for sloppy-couch-breaking-relative-impressing monkey love?

    Apr 28, 2009 at 9:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   se

    I like Rule #5. don’t hold back the tongue, cause it will build up, then explode all over the back of your mouth and gag you.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 9:57 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   lovey

    In all seriousness, this is *truly* passive-aggressive.

    However, I can’t help but wonder…who has sex in the presence of their roommate’s relatives? Or, maybe the roommate was dating notewriter’s super-hot cousin, and was having sex WITH notewriter’s relative. I guess that’d be ok.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 10:01 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   sugarlips bang

    This is jealousy plain and simple, and truly PA because the intended was meant to see it, read it, and digest it.

    (In Beavis and Butthead voices)
    It’s cool to break the couch during sex… heheheh

    Apr 28, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Cat Skyfire

    It might be a much more enjoyable note if it could be read.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 10:36 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      I agree Cat. So here, I will transcribe it (I had to open it in Photoshop to read it) I am trying to include all typos and misspellings in the original.

      If u are ever looking for a roommate, these are some things that you need to do…
      1. get one that you care not friends with cause when u end the lease, you might not be friends anymore
      2. get sofa covers…roommates can have sex on them while your relatives are in the room
      3. make rules
      4. make rules about significant others living there without paying rent
      5. dont hold your tongue cause it will build up
      6. when they make up things just to get what they want, get ear plugs……especially in my case. she NAGS all the time, even when she is talking to her boyfriend, which is 26 hours a day.
      7. when her x thinks she is crazy and tells you “her roommate” yea, she is crazy…physco in fact…it is true!
      8. dont pay for the sofa she has sex on, even if she blames your friend for breaking it….we all know how it got broken, so don’t lie!
      these are just some of the things on my mind about my pathetic roommate that i used to be friends with. now she can just go to u no where

      Apr 28, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   anglophile bang

    I disagree with the advice about holding your tongue. I find when I say what’s on my mind I tend to be accused of being a cunty bitch.

    No one likes being called a cunty bitch. :(

    Apr 28, 2009 at 10:55 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Mishee™ bang

      You liked it when I called you that last weekend.

      But I guess when its accompanied by a swift slap with a riding crop, it takes on a whole new meaning.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 10:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   claw71 bang

      Didn’t Buckcherry have a song Cunty Bitch

      Hey
      you’re a cunty bitch
      you whine so much
      I can’t handle it
      when you speak
      I want to start a fight
      tape right over your mouth
      could you pipe down?

      Apr 28, 2009 at 11:41 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   ABF

      Or maybe you just have to learn how to say it nicely to minimize the chance of being called a cunty bitch. There are ways to say things nicely or at least, properly.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   Mishee™ bang

      But this is the internet, we don’t have to say things “nicely” – we are hidden behind a cloak of anonymity that enables us to speak our mind without fear of retribution or humiliation…

      So I say, if anglophile is having a shitty day and feels like being a cunty bitch, then go for it, more power to her! Huzzah!

      Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 12:29 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   Geek Goddess

      Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto
      I want Glo to put this on a blanket next.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 3:33 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   Isuck

      I want Misshe to light her fat ass on fire so we can feed third world countries.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 3:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   mamason bang

      You are cheap and uninspired and I think you are one of the world’s great mysteries because I can’t, for the life of me, figure out how you can be such a huge dick and a little pussy at the same time.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:50 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   se

      “a huge dick and a little pussy at the same time”. classic

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:55 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.9   Bunnee

      Plus, how would lighting her ass on fire feed third world countries? C’mon, if you’re going to insult people, at least make sense. Oh, that’s right, I forgot. You suck.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:05 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.10   Bunnee

      Mishee, where is that from? (Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto.) That’s a great ideology. Huzzah to you! :lol:

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.11   Mishee™ bang

      Dolores Claiborne.

      Stephen King has a few good ones here and there.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:16 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.12   Neeners

      How does Isuck know Mishee has a fat ass anyway?

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.13   Mishee™ bang

      I’ve got a big butt, big boobs, and a big heart. (awww)

      I may be a little meaty, but I’m not fat…

      So Isuck can talk about it all he wants, I could give a shit…

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.14   BrookeDiz bang

      Mishee,

      Everyone knows that women are bitchy because they hold in their farts.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.15   unholyghost2003 bang

      Not me! I fart all the time :) Ask my hubby he will tell you.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.16   mamason bang

      Shhhhhh, uhg, please! Papa doesn’t know women do that. His entire belief system and way of life would be challenged beyond the breaking point were he ever to find out!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.17   Bunnee

      Wow, I guess I can consider myself lucky since my husband doesn’t mind if I toot (the delicate, ladylike way to say “fart”). If he did mind, I would explode from the pressure. Either that, or shit my pants.

      Mama, set yourself free from the shackles of a no-farting household! Fart, I say. Fart!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:08 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.18   Mishee™ bang

      Seriously here.

      I’ve never once farted in front of my husband.

      In August we will have been together 10 years.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:16 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.19   mamason bang

      :lol:

      I have known Papa for 23 yrs and we’ve been together for 12 and I have never passed gas in front of him, that I know of. I know when he falls asleep the trumpet sounds, so I guess it’s possible that I’ve done the same. :oops:

      I’ve never heard either of my parents fart, ever! When we were kids, we’d get hit for farting. I went too far in the opposite extreme with my kids. My 27 y.o. son still enjoys his farts way too much and expects that I do, too. I’ve been telling him for 17 years that it’s not so cute anymore but he doesn’t believe me.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.20   anglophile bang

      I, too, grew up in a fart-prohibitive household, and as such, have difficulty even typing the word fart. ;)

      I am considering therapy, Bunnee.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.21   unholyghost2003 bang

      I fart ON my husband. I farted ON my husband within 24 hours of meeting him. My mother was and is HORRIFIED that I fart openly and joyously.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:33 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.22   Mark bang

      Team UHG. I’m male, and fart openly and proudly, but Mrs Mark also does the same. I cannot conceive of being together for more than a couple of days without farting. And being married for 12 years without farting in front of each other? That’s crazy talk.

      Even Ben Franklin agrees, Fart Proudly!

      Apr 28, 2009 at 6:41 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.23   mamason bang

      I keep telling everyone that I haven’t really gained that much weight over the years, I’m just so bloated! 8-O

      Apr 28, 2009 at 8:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.24   Bunnee

      Oh, believe me, I tried to hide the farts inthe beginning, when I was dating my husband. However, we were both big beer drinkers and it got tiresome having to get up to go in another room every 5 minutes. I figured if we were going to get married, I might as well let ‘er rip….Like my grandfather always said, “Nothing livens up a dull party like a good fart!” :lol:

      p.s. You go UHG!

      Apr 29, 2009 at 9:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   claw71 bang

    If you are ever posting a message about a roommate these are some things you need to do:

    1. Be sure to bone up on basic spelling, grammar and syntax rules. You don’t have to publish your missive in the Queen’s English but it helps if you stay coherent.

    2. Don’t attempt satire or its simplistic cousin sarcasm unless you’ve had people not related to you complement you on your wit. Please be sure that they weren’t employing one of these devices when this compliment was paid.

    3. You want to seem more mature than the person you are complaining about. This can be accomplished if you avoid text-speak and shortcuts such as “u r” . Emoticons are also counterproductive.

    4. Stay on point.

    5. Don’t make your roommate sound cooler than you.

    6. Don’t be overly obsessive about one particular issue lest you sound jealous that your roommate was having more sex than you were. Just because you sat in a pool of tacky semen doesn’t mean you should tell the world about it.

    7. Don’t bring other people into the issue unless they are willing to participate in the discussion.

    8. If they are willing to participate cite them by name. Vague titles such as “relatives” lack credibility. Especially when you fail to follow the rest of these rules leading the audience to believe that nobody could possibly like you enough to hang around your apartment. Even if they are technically related to you.

    9. Before publishing your complaint, reference http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com and compare your message to the countless others that have been examined by relentless regulars. Will they take your side or will your message be so weak that they just make fun of you?

    10. Know that your message will end up on http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com. Never underestimate the power and reach of Kerry.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 11:43 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Mishee™ bang

      “bone up”

      heh.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   RP

    While the note itself is PA, the “you get your bodily fluids on it then it’s your problem” rule seems reasonable.

    But then you have to worry about someone deciding to mark their territory with a rule like that.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   park rose

    when her x thinks she is crazy and tells you “her roommate” yea, you answer “yo mama”, and her x says “burglar”, yea, you answer “ronald macdonald”, and her x says “PAN”, yea and you answer “goddess” And make rules! make rules about significant others living there without paying rent. make rules about not holding your tongue because it will build up. Liberate! liberate the tongue I say!! the oxen of the world will not thank you, but that is their burden. And buy. buy sofa covers. buy sofa covers and have sex on them. buy sofa covers and have sex on them in front of your relatives, as is your patriotic duty, nay your very right. Remember. Remember ask not. Remember ask not for whom the bell tolls. Remember ask not for whom the bell tolls, ask what you can do for the best minds of your generation. starving. starving hysterical. starving hysterical naked. i saw the ear-plugged physcoed mind of a roommate, destroyed by nagging, starving hysterical naked, dragging itself over sofa covers. in front of relatives and dawn looking for voyeuristic kicks.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 1:30 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Mishee™ bang

      See what happens when you stay up so late rose?

      Greatness happens, that’s what.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 1:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Ti to the O bang

      Yeah Coool Betty Kitten slidin syncopated sounds in my ear. *fingersnap snap snap*

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   unholyghost2003 bang

    My favorite part of this note is “2. get sofa covers…roommates can have sex on them while your relatives are in the room”
    It almost sounds like a tip from some Home Decorating on a Budget book. “Limited seating in the living room? Invest in a good quality sofa cover. Household members can use the sofa cover as a comfortable surface to fornicate on while guests enjoy the comfort of the couch.”

    Apr 28, 2009 at 1:46 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Who doesn’t like putting on sex shows in front of a roommates relatives?

      I think the list maker’s a bit of a prude. She needs to lose her inhibitions and start savoring the natural pleasures that can be derived by giving in to her deepest desires.

      Kerry, if you think it would be helpful, I could go have a session with this young woman and help her sort herself out.

      (Maybe, her roommate should be there, too. I get the sense that there’s a whole lot of healing that needs to take place in this abode.)

      Apr 28, 2009 at 8:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   LAPowerball

    eeeehhh…. could the image be a little bigger next time?

    Apr 28, 2009 at 1:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Neeners

      true dat, i needed bifocals to read it

      Apr 28, 2009 at 2:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   anglophile bang

      If you click on the image, it opens it up in Flickr and then you can click on “All Sizes” where it comes up larger and easier to read.

      Hope this helps.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 2:22 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Neeners

    Were they having sex on the couch those two extra hours in their 26 hour day? Sounds like drugs are involved definitely. Where can I get what they are taking? I could use the extra time to get things done.

    I am not sure what kind of build up occurs when holding your tongue? Is it that oily kind that you get when you don’t wash your hair?

    Apr 28, 2009 at 2:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   se

      umm, no, it’s the kind you get when you don’t swallow fast enough

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:25 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   pope suburban

    Wow, so my former roommate somehow found another one after my friend and I ran for the hills. Never thought I’d know, but damned if she didn’t stay true to form.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      So which is your former roomie then? Note writer or note “recipient.”

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   pope suburban

      “Recipient” all the way. Although my secondhand sex stories are way funnier, because they involved her making loud moans that make the worst porn look sincere (Her freeloading boyfriend was not good at anything, that we could tell), thereby sending us and our houseguests into gales of laughter. I mean, really, I couldn’t hate that enough to put it on facebook; comedy gold never makes me mad!

      Apr 30, 2009 at 12:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Deanna

    How could anybody who still writes like that be old enough to have a roommate? Maybe she and her little sister can just draw a line down the middle of the room like in “The Brady Bunch.”

    Apr 28, 2009 at 3:53 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   aaa

    Tongue buildup, eh? Didn’t that happen on an episode of House? I think the dude’s testicles swelled up and exploded too, if memory serves.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 4:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   anglophile bang

      I think it was lupus.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:48 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   unholyghost2003 bang

      Its NEVER Lupus.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Beanster bang

      its always almost lupus.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   Neeners

      There must have been two episodes with tongue build up. Maybe that is a common theme for the show’s writers. All patients must have tongue build up as the first symptom.

      Yesterday I saw an episode with a guy who had stinky tongue build up among other problems and of course he was dying of some sort of cancer.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   Chinchillazilla bang

      Yeah, and dude’s eye popped out of his head.

      But it was cool because it was alllll a dream.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 10:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   aaa

      Oh yeah, I remember that one. And it was really cool when House sliced the dude open from throat to crotch cuz it was just a Really Bizarre and Realistic Dream.

      Apr 29, 2009 at 10:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Julie

    I know nothing about Facebook so will someone confirm for me – are we to assume that the PAN writer “tagged” the roommate as an extra level of PA-ness? Or might a third party have done it?

    Apr 28, 2009 at 4:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      The tagging in the note had to be done by the note writer .. a third party could not have done this … but the fact that the writer wrote the note and tagged her roommate would show up in the facebook feed of everyone who is friends with either the writer OR the roommate.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 5:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   meli$$a

    I am assuming the facebook author is at least 18 years old. So, why do they write and spell like someone much younger?

    Apr 28, 2009 at 6:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   mamason bang

      Our tax dollars at work providing the best in mediocrity and less in our public schools.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 7:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Saysh bang

      Ummm, Meli$$a??

      Have you looked at your screen name?

      Apr 29, 2009 at 5:09 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   meli$$a

      Yes, but have you looked at your sense of humor?

      Apr 29, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   aaa

      Oooh, comeback fail!

      Apr 29, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.5   Isuck

      Sayshhhwhenitalk, have you looked at that fat disgusting ugly woman in your picture?

      Apr 29, 2009 at 2:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.6   aaa

      Come on, Isuck, I’m sure you could’ve come up with a more creative insult than that. Really now.

      (Yes, I know, I’m feeding the trolls, but it’s just too much fun to resist.)

      Apr 29, 2009 at 2:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.7   mamason bang

      Seriously, why would you even say something like that to anyone? What an empty, vicious turd you are. An old boot, covered in shit has more value than you. At least under the shit there’s a usable boot. But you… I feel really sorry for you and for the people who have to be subjected to your filth and venom. It’s rare that I’m confronted with someone who’s sole intention is to hurt and destroy. You are the ugliest person I have ever had the displeasure of becoming aware of. You are a cancer.

      Apr 29, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.8   mamason bang

      The healthy man does not torture others – generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.
      Carl Jung

      Apr 29, 2009 at 6:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Chinchillazilla bang

    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, COMPUTERS HAVE SPELLCHECK.

    That was a dam bursting. I feel better now.

    Apr 28, 2009 at 10:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Canthz_B bang

    Never lie while having sex on a sofa, you could break it.
    Stand on the sofa instead.

    Don’t hold your tongue during oral sex.

    Apr 29, 2009 at 12:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Nikki

    When someone with spelling and grammar problems like that thinks you suck… You must really suck.

    Apr 29, 2009 at 12:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   kathie

    so harsh!

    Apr 29, 2009 at 12:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   ashmeadow

    is being physco something like defying the laws of gravity?

    Apr 30, 2009 at 2:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   MW

    Whoever composed that grammatical nightmare is a goddamn retard and should have her bed shat on immediately.

    Apr 30, 2009 at 3:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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