Entries from April 2009
I’ll admit, my first thought upon reading this note — found in the hallways of an American high school — was something along the lines of “Argh, kids today, with their chatspeak!” Can we all agree that adolescent girls are probably the most passive-aggressive creatures on earth?
related: 2 good 2 be 4gotten
Tags: birthday · frenemies · mean girls · schools & teachers
Alec in Houston found this little work of art on his desk, he says, “after I went out for lunch and didn’t do the dishes like they had asked.” With gritted teeth, he goes on: “They have ‘too much work’ and I have ‘none’ so I might as well wash them!”
related: Al Gore knows you drove when you could have taken your new bicycle
Tags: a little patronizing · dishes · Houston · office · thanks (but not really) · The Earth
Writes Tim in Berkeley: “Although this note is over 17 years old, I think it’s still worth submitting, at the very least as an example of notes from a bygone era. I received this note from the apartment manager when I was a senior at Rice University, living in an off-campus apartment. Admittedly, I wasn’t the cleanest tenant — but what 20-year-old college kid living alone in a studio apartment is?”
Adds Tim: “The really sad thing was that I had cleaned my apartment before this note — she should have seen the place before!”
related: be informed, homeland security will be
Tags: cleaning · college life · Houston · landlords and property managers · Texas · that's disgusting
Writes Kerry in Brooklyn: “I just moved into a new apartment, and they don’t have secured outside parking for bikes. My place is NYC-sized, so naturally I decided to lock one of my bikes to the banister right outside my door. Apparently that’s a big no-no in the building.”
Meanwhile, Melanie in Newport, Rhode Island spotted this on the lawn of the Salvation Army in her neighborhood, adding “I, for one, certainly applaud whomever had the baguettes to do such a thing.”
related: The first thing I did when I woke up
Tags: bicycle · bread · Brooklyn · food · neighbors
Writes our anonymous submitter: “Unable to visit my mother last year for Mother’s Day, my partner and I sent her a box of chocolate truffles and an antique brooch. This is her ‘thank you’ note (which is really more like a ‘fuck you’ note).”
The final “fuck you,” of course, is the nearly indecipherable handwriting. Here’s the transcription:
Looked forward to seeing you on Mother’s day. In Lieu of such optimism I enjoyed the truffles as fattening as they are + the pin is very attractive. Thanks. Love, Mom
related: I can has guilt trip?
Tags: Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · thanks (but not really)
Writes Joe in Van Nuys, California: “Dave has been upset because people have been drinking his tea. Apparently, he was unaware of other potential Daves in the office. Next time, maybe he should clarify?”
related: Who’s the smartass?
Tags: California · most popular notes of 2009 · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing · tea
What to do after you’ve already written your daily letters to the editor, congressman and the local weatherman and you’ve still got hours to go before the early bird buffet? Well, you turn to the classifieds!
related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail
Tags: awk abbrev · comma diarrhea · excessive underlining · garage sale · Houston · old folks · unsolicited feedback · You call that punctuation?
“I’m a server at a chain restaurant,” writes our anonymous submitter, “and we have a bulletin board in the back where people can trade shifts. Lately, people have been including (along with their phone number and shift information) sad stories about why you should choose their shift to pick up (instead of all the other ones that are available).” This one, though, might be the most shameless yet.
related: It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)
Tags: Massachusetts · oh no you didn't · restaurant
Writes Marc from Chicago: “I saw this in a small town off Route 26 in Nebraska. As soon as I finished snapping photos of the signs, the woman who ran the drive-thru came out and demanded to know what I was doing. Once she realized that I was not there to mess with the sign, she became friendly. Evidently, the situation was exactly as it appeared: unidentified no-goodniks had been swiping the letters from the sign or re-arranging the amiable witticisms (‘Men, I don’t understand. Chocolate, I’m an expert!’) into significantly ruder form.”
Meanwhile, Rikki spotted this sign (which may or may not be an homage to this one, which made the rounds on the interweb a few years back) in downtown Oklahoma City.
related: and pull up your sign
Tags: Nebraska · Oklahoma · restaurant · retail hell · stealing · vandalism
Writes Jay in Miami Beach: “The woman who lives in Apt. 2, right next to the front door of the building, had such a stinky dog smell emanating from her apartment that you could smell it through the closed door.”
Presumably, she could hear everyone’s complaints through the closed door, too.
related: When you can’t blame the dog
Tags: dogs · Miami · neighbors · odor · oh no you didn't