Just sayin’

May 1st, 2009 · 121 comments

Passive-aggressive? Oh, heavens no! These are just a few selfless public service announcements.

From an office in Oregon

WE CAN HEAR YOUR WHISPERS NEXT DOOR.

New Zealand…

I CAN SEE YOU PEE

and Kentucky…

It's a small office. We know who you are. There's a toilet brush if you need to use it.

related: The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

FILED UNDER: big brother-ish · CAPS LOCK · Kentucky · noise · odor · office · Oregon


121 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Sheila

    wow- another breathtaking selection – all of them so carefully done

    May 1, 2009 at 8:11 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   T to the O

      The Painfully Exact Selection of PAN. :lol:

      May 1, 2009 at 9:34 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   park rose bang

      T-P-E-S-P, find out what it means to me

      May 1, 2009 at 9:38 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   park rose bang

    I’m never gonna fart again,
    guilty pee got no rhythm
    …”

    Kinda fits.

    May 1, 2009 at 8:26 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Shawn

      HAHAHAHAHA Careless Whisper

      May 1, 2009 at 10:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Lexi

    I don’t care if you can see me pee, so long as you don’t listen. I get stage fright.

    May 1, 2009 at 8:26 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   G

      That’s what bathroom fans are for. Definitely.

      May 1, 2009 at 10:23 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   ryanmalloy

      Bathroom fans?
      Sounds more like peeping toms to me…

      May 1, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   unholyghost2003 bang

    Unless note #1 is actually about the content of the whispers it seems more like an issue that needs to be addressed with the contractor and not the people in the next office. Those walls are WAY too thin and probably not up to code.

    hey! Accounts Receivable! Who are YOU to demand that Recruitment work in silence all day? They are already whispering and they still need to answer their phones for fear that last weeks ‘Answer your damn PHONE!’ note will return.

    May 1, 2009 at 8:29 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   CS harmonikah

      It may be about the volume of the whispering.

      If it read We can hear you “whispering” next door the context changes.

      Maybe it’s like when children try to whisper and end up just talking loudly in a raspy voice.

      May 1, 2009 at 9:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Gunderson105

    TOO BAD YOUR SIGN IS YELLING AT ME!!!!!

    May 1, 2009 at 8:36 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   ryanmalloy

    Why waste this much space? “I can c u p” is way shorter

    May 1, 2009 at 8:40 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Sirius bang

      Or as my wife often asks, “Hey, RUN?”

      May 1, 2009 at 10:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   oi!

      or Just like spears says, “if you seek amy”
      Yeah it’s no shorter but does the job well, ;)

      May 1, 2009 at 2:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   geeklygirly bang

      2 girls, 1 C U P?

      May 5, 2009 at 6:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Mishee™ bang

    What kerry didn’t mention was that all three of these notes were written by Sting.

    May 1, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   anglophile bang

      You’ll remember me, when the bowel moves,
      And all those bowls of barley
      Will be rushin’ out in a sea of brown
      And I’ll pee in streams of gold.

      May 1, 2009 at 9:01 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   park rose bang

      Bravo!

      May 1, 2009 at 9:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Canthz_B bang

      We can see your trolls.
      We know who they are.
      Please use the toilet brush.

      May 1, 2009 at 9:23 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Scubasteve

    The first two are really freaky, like there’s ghosts printing out P/A notes.

    The last one is just gross, “We noticed your shit stuck to the back of the toliet and we’d like you to clean it up” How embarassing!

    May 1, 2009 at 8:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   park rose bang

      Ghosts in the latrine. ;)

      May 1, 2009 at 8:49 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   geeklygirly bang

      Ass-per the friendly ghost?

      May 5, 2009 at 6:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   GhostWriter bang

    I once worked in an office that was so small…

    May 1, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Gunderson105

      *All together*

      How small was it?????

      May 1, 2009 at 8:56 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Scubasteve

      I once worked in an office that was so small… every time a box was delivered we could add another floor.

      May 1, 2009 at 9:03 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   GhostWriter bang

      …when the Boss said, “It’s Louie’s job is to get rid of the crap”, It really was Louie’s job to get rid of the crap.

      …because the office was so small.

      May 1, 2009 at 9:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   GhostWriter bang

      It was so small, the rats were hunchbacked.

      May 1, 2009 at 9:10 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   GhostWriter bang

      It was so small, that I kept bringing the office home, in my pocket, by accident.

      May 1, 2009 at 9:14 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   GhostWriter bang

      It was so small, that over time, we grew to loathe talking to each other, and resorted to posting notes on the bathroom door intending to embarrass each other.

      The 401K, however, was excellent.

      May 1, 2009 at 9:19 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   Canthz_B bang

      It was so small, our PO box was our physical location.

      May 1, 2009 at 9:25 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   DearJane

      Scuba, everyone knows that once you get enough boxes together you must make yourself a really kick ass cardboard fort. Extra points if you make a moat

      May 1, 2009 at 9:45 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   leftfoot

      It was so small.. we could recognize everyone by fart.

      May 1, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   oi!

      Our office is so small, it’s total volume is expressed in nanometer cube

      May 1, 2009 at 1:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.11   meg

      “It was so small, that I kept bringing the office home, in my pocket, by accident.”

      Is that your office in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

      May 1, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.12   Ti to the O bang

      It was so small we sat on each others laps.

      May 1, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.13   Saysh bang

      Oooh TimO! I wanna work with YOU!

      just don’t tell CB, ok?

      May 1, 2009 at 2:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.14   mamason bang

      Timo, that wasn’t your office. That was the strip club down the street and you had to pay for it. They’re called lap-dances. :roll:

      May 1, 2009 at 3:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.15   Canthz_B bang

      Our office was so small…

      We had to fire three people, and remove their cubicles, so the handicapped guy (whom we were afraid to not hire) could maneuver his wheelchair.

      May 2, 2009 at 1:08 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.16   MAMARILLA2 bang

      It was so small that we all use one computer mouse.

      May 3, 2009 at 10:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   GhostWriter bang

    You may hear whispers,
    but there is no one next door.

    May 1, 2009 at 8:56 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   ryanmalloy

      Don’t listen to the voices in your head

      May 1, 2009 at 9:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   mamason bang

      Yes, listen to the voices in my head!

      May 1, 2009 at 9:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   shel bang

    I don’t quite understand the point of the “I can see you pee” note… unless someone is peeing in a non-approved receptical, ie not a bathroom.
    If they are using an actual bathroom for their peeing, I think it’s the note poster who has the problem for getting stuck right next to a bathroom without normal walls…
    Who builds a bathroom like that anyway? Or are people doing other strange things while they pee??
    I’m so confused!

    May 1, 2009 at 9:12 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   T to the O

      *frightened whisper*
      I see peeing people!

      May 1, 2009 at 9:37 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   park rose bang

      I pee dead people

      May 1, 2009 at 9:41 am   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   anglophile bang

      You might want to see a doctor about that, rose.

      May 1, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Bunnee

      That definitely sounds like an extreme case of kidney stones! :lol:

      May 1, 2009 at 10:49 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      Oh, rose… see what happens when I spend the morning working? That was totally my first thought. Is that creepy?

      May 1, 2009 at 1:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   oi!

      Hey isuck’s comments are gone from this thread! So kerry finally banned him?
      hurrah! He was cancer to this blog.
      *goes to check other threads*
      huh! the previous thread has his comments in it. Is Chrome playing tricks on me? Can you actually delete comments?

      May 1, 2009 at 8:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Ti to the O bang

      We should speak no more of this.
      The goddess has spoken to us.
      Thus spaketh the goddess.

      She is wise and mysterious but mostly wise… oh and funny… and really really cute in person… So I have heard.
      Just saying. :grin: :lol:

      May 1, 2009 at 8:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Mishee™ bang

      oi! – kerry can delete anyone she wants.

      kerry can delete you in an instant!!!

      just remember this.

      May 1, 2009 at 8:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   Canthz_B bang

      Yes, oi! Comments can be, and have been in the past, removed from the site.

      Of course, now it looks like rose wants Mishee™ dead, but that’s a small price to pay! :-P

      May 1, 2009 at 8:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   oi!

      *brings out tears in her big eyes and asks in sweetest voice, what did I do?*

      May 1, 2009 at 8:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.11   anglophile bang

      I was smote once, when I called Mishee out for being Mrs. Bender.

      I deserved my punishment, and atoned.

      May 1, 2009 at 8:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.12   oi!

      I know moderator can delete comments but I thought he himself deleted his comments as other threads still have his comments. I meant to ask that you can not delete your comments right?
      glo’s comment concludes dont fuck with Mishee.

      May 1, 2009 at 8:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.13   Canthz_B bang

      You can contact Kerry and ask that anything you posted be removed if you like.

      She’s cool with it.
      At least she types nice words back.

      Oh, you have five minutes to edit or delete your comment. After that you have no more personal access to it.

      May 1, 2009 at 8:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.14   Ti to the O bang

      Only the wise and sure hand of the goddess can oi!

      May 1, 2009 at 8:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.15   Mishee™ bang

      I don’t remember that Glo…

      And you just revealed my secret identity!

      May 1, 2009 at 8:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.16   Ti to the O bang

      OMG! Mishee™ is a ROBOT!

      May 1, 2009 at 8:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.17   oi!

      Thanks, CB and Ti.

      May 1, 2009 at 8:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.18   park rose bang

      It wasn’t much of a secret, Mish :D
      Oi, the troll who shall not be named’s comments are gone from a few of the threads.

      May 1, 2009 at 9:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.19   geeklygirly bang

      T2tO: From what I’ve heard, not just any robot. A sex machine!

      May 5, 2009 at 6:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   you suck at craigslist

    Reading the story behind the “whispers” one, it seems like it’s less passive-aggressive and more, “Hey, maybe you shouldn’t gossip about people over here, since by the magic of acoustics we can hear you over there.”

    If I had to do it all over again, I’d go into acoustical engineering and architecture. Too many architects these days don’t consider acoustics at all when they design something, and there is good money in designing fixes for acoustically poor spaces.

    Sorry, I’m being serious again. I’ll stop that now.

    May 1, 2009 at 9:18 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   CS harmonikah

    The “I can see you pee” note isn’t as much PA as just plain creepy. I can see a (really horrible) movie being made about that.
    “I know where you peed last summer”

    May 1, 2009 at 9:35 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   MeTooExpert

    Next week on PAN, from Kentucky:

    “It’s a small office.
    We know who you are.

    This time, please clean the toilet brush after use.”

    May 1, 2009 at 9:35 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   CS harmonikah

    The third note is fairly well done. It makes good use of negative space. The small type makes it seem more subtle and PA. Well done sir!

    The “it’s a small office” part does remind me of my last workplace. The mens restroom was 3 feet from the receptionist desk and where the two hallways of offices intersected. Everyone in the office could see and hear you. I drove home to poo everyday for almost a year.

    May 1, 2009 at 9:40 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   DearJane

      I wish the men in the office I work in had the same idea of going home to poo. The bathroom is a foot from me and stocked with all kinds of air freshener that they all seem oblivious to

      May 1, 2009 at 9:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Bunnee

      I worked in an office once where the unisex bathroom was directly off the kitchen/breakroom, and with a gentleman who had irritable bowel syndrome. Let’s just say that lunches got thrown away more than once and we actually did make a sign, asking that all people use the freakin’ fan and the freakin’ air freshener.

      Sigh. I wish I had taken a picture of it. The sign, that is….NOT the product of the IBS.

      May 1, 2009 at 10:16 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   racerx22

      Air what?

      May 1, 2009 at 10:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   TheOldSchool bang

      CS Harmonikah,

      I just came back to this PAN post, after being away for most of the day. What you said about note # 3 was exactly what I was thinking. Nice font choice and size variation as well.

      I’d like to think that the toilet brush and paper were digital prints of the actual items.

      Well….what the hell! Since I’d like to think that, I’ll just go ahead and do so. Live on the edge. It’s May Day, for crying out loud.

      NURSE!!!

      May 2, 2009 at 1:08 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   claw71 bang

    Toilet brushes are generally disgusting. You use them to scrape pesky poo from the sides of your loo, and then what? Swirl it around in the bowl and hope to shake the residual feces from the bristles? Nice. Then you put that brush in a receptacle next to the toilet where everything just festers.

    Now think about those toilet brushes in public restrooms. Do you suppose people are washing their hands before they put the brush to use? I doubt it. No, the people who use that brush are reaching for right after they’ve finished excavating their ass cracks. More importantly, the toilet doesn’t get messed up every time. Only on those big jobs. Those big messy jobs that require extensive wiping efforts. Wiping efforts that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, result in poo getting on our hands. Hands that may or may not be reaching for that toilet brush.

    So I’ll pass on the brush, thank you very much. You might know who I am but I don’t know who you are and certainly don’t know where you’ve been. I’d rather not become intimately acquainted with your poop.

    May 1, 2009 at 9:46 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      You know, some of those people who have produced big messy poop may use the actual toilet brush to clean their asses… Okay, I just threw up a little thinking about that…

      May 1, 2009 at 1:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   claw71 bang

    On the next episode of Max Brown, Poop Detective…

    Office Manager: I’m so glad you came, we’ve got a problem.

    Max Brown: Unclaimed skidmarks?

    Office Manager: YES! How did you…

    Max Brown: I see it everyday, Ma’am.

    Office Manager: Well here’s the toilet, as you can see the toilet brush is right there.

    Max Brown (peering into bowl): The culprit clearly had a burrito for lunch. Black beans, guacamole, and corn (extracts sample from bowl, puts it to his nose and sniffs, then tastes it) pulled pork and sour cream. That’s a big meal.

    Office manager, grimmacing: It’s a small office.

    Max Brown: Yes it is. I saw that when I walked in but there’s a problem here.

    Office Manager: What is it?

    Max Brown: You have seven people out there. Two of them are Jewish, no pork for them. One, the slovenly girl up front with the jet black hair and the facial piercings, is clearly a vegan. She was wearing a PETA pin. So she wouldn’t eat meat. Two more were eating their lunches. That takes us down to three, but one of them was Latino and we both know Latinos don’t eat at Chipotle and the older woman, in accounting, she’s constipated. I could tell by the way she was sitting. Her bowels are all plugged up. No way she did this.

    Office Manager: So it’s got to be…Tyrell!

    Max Brown: You’d like me to think that, wouldn’t you?

    Office Manager: Whatever do you mean?

    Max Brown: It’s not Tyrell ma’am. Tyrell’s a black man and there’s a Church’s Fried Chicken on the corner with a special. Two pieces, dark, with greens and a biscuit for 2.99. Tyrell got his chicken on today.

    Office Manager: So…

    Max Brown: So it’s YOU! You left streaks in the bowl and when your coworkers complained you called me to create a diversion. You counted on them to believe that it couldn’t be you. Not if you were going to call me. You counted on me to exclude you from the list of suspects because you hired me. But it didn’t work, toots.

    Office Manager: Well I never! You have some nerve.

    Max Brown: You have some nerve. I can see a smudge of guacamole on your cheek, and there’s burrito juice on your blouse. I bet if I checked your desk I’d find black beans and corn. But I don’t need to. (darts behind her and sniffs her ass, then sniffs the fecal sample from the toilet) A perfect match!

    Office Manager, breaks down and sobs: I’m sorry. I just forgot to check the bowl when I was done. I’m so sorry. Go ahead and arrest me.

    Max Brown: What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t arrest people.

    Office Manager, brightening: No? So what are you going to do?

    Max Brown: I’ll tell you what I’m going to do, ma’am.

    Office Manager: Yes?

    Max Brown: I’m going to hand you my bill…and can you validate my parking stub?

    May 1, 2009 at 10:27 am   rating: 47  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Claw,

      This has box office gold and brown written all over it. Before you squeeze out a one-off screenplay, you might want to pitch it to CBS as a series to augment their most popular franchise.

      Max Brown: TCSI.

      (I hear that Redstone is hungry for another cable channel that links indirectly to CBS. You could pitch: The IBS Network: “I.B.S. Hits Happen.”

      Instant cue: Sound of flushing toilet…..

      May 1, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   TheOldSchool bang

      Since IBS would be the “Number Two” network for CBS, get Redstone to insert his Viacom muscle where it will receive the full, wide-eyed attention of the cable assholes.

      Get channel 2. (In every major market.)

      The IBS logo should play off of the iconic CBS eye.

      I’m picturing a mysterious sphincter-like symbol, bracketed by reversed parentheses. ).(

      May 1, 2009 at 12:21 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   crackjob

      “…you might want to pitch it to CBS …”

      Don’t you mean, “you might want to pinch it off to CBS…”?

      May 1, 2009 at 3:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Martin Heidegger

      TheOldSchool, I think you’re thinking of Goatse. Although I don’t know why any network would want that as their ident.

      May 1, 2009 at 3:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Mark bang

      Ah, Goatse… that brings back some memories. The “joy” of a misdirected link on circa 1998 (?) Slashdot…

      *shudder*

      May 1, 2009 at 3:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Canthz_B bang

      $2.99?!?! claw…I gotta have that address, Man!!
      I’m Jonesing here real bad!!

      May 2, 2009 at 12:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   geeklygirly bang

      TOS: You mean… a CSI spinoff even shittier than CSI: Miami?!

      May 5, 2009 at 7:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Sirius bang

    The National Security Agency — Watching you pee since 1952.

    May 1, 2009 at 10:51 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Flaboy2425

    Well, if you enjoy seeing me pee, I come here about once every four or five hours.

    As for the whispering, I can hear you fart. Are you the one leaving the brown stains in the toilet?

    Get a life! People work here. Pepople pee, whisper, and leave brown streaks. A brown stgreak in the pot is better than a pile on the floor.

    May 1, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   DearJane

    the toilet here is picky about what it flushes. If you don’t look back after it finishes flushing, you might not notice that it has kicked back a bit of paper, or worse, more organic material. It’s total fun babysitting the toilet to make sure that it’s done it’s job. At least it doesn’t habitually overflow like the last one.

    May 1, 2009 at 11:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Wade bang

    For some reason all these notes bring George Michael to mind.

    May 1, 2009 at 11:41 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   park rose bang

      Wade! #2 ♥

      May 1, 2009 at 11:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   park rose bang

      Never mind. Your’s was far more clever ;) :oops:
      (slow on the uptake).

      May 1, 2009 at 12:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   Bunnee

      Funny, they reminded me of Senator Larry Craig….

      May 1, 2009 at 12:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   Larry Craig

      Look, I’m a bit of a wide guy and I assume a bit of a wide stance. I don’t believe my foot went under the stall divider but I suppose it could have. That being said, I travel a lot and sometimes I get a man-sized hankering for a little airport sausage.

      You’ve got the meat, I’ve got the bun
      let’s put ‘em both together and have a little fun
      I’m not a homo but I’ve got to confess
      I want you to make me wear a cute dress.

      May 1, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   mamason bang

      Larry Craig sings,

      Guilty feet have got no rythm. Though it’s easy to pretend, I know you’re not a fool.

      May 1, 2009 at 3:47 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   Bunnee

      …aaaand we’re back to George Michael. It’s eerie how things tend to come full circle, especially with bathroom humor.

      May 1, 2009 at 4:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.7   Canthz_B bang

      ♫…every shit you take,
      every piss you shake,
      I’ll be watchin’ you.♫

      May 1, 2009 at 9:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.8   park rose bang

      …aaaand we’re back to Sting. It’s eerie how things tend to come full circle, especially with bathroom humour

      (I had to insert a ‘u’ because we are talking about toilets, and because I must be true to myself, no matter the consequences!)

      May 1, 2009 at 9:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.9   Canthz_B bang

      Hey, I’m the site’s Resident Negro, remember?
      I don’t know who made that song, and even if I did, I couldn’t say so publicly!

      It might come out at the next meeting.

      Damn! I just let our secret black meetings out of the bag. Farrakhan’s gonna kill me!!! :???:

      May 2, 2009 at 12:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.10   park rose bang

      You’ll be saved. Branford Marsalis worked with him on his first solo album. You can run with that ;)

      May 3, 2009 at 1:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   park rose bang

    If you know this, you know this, and it could be a hell of a lot better, and I’ve really got to get to bed. Anyone want to give the third verse a try?

    That’s great, it starts with an earthquake, turds and snakes, an air-fresh plane -
    Pine Spruce is to be sprayed. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn -
    turd serves its own needs, regarding your own needs. Feed it up a knock,
    speed, grunt no, strength no. Bladder structure clatter piss from a height,
    down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven strains in an accidental
    mire an’ to combat shite. Left her, wasn’t coming out in a hurry with the furies
    breathing down her neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered
    crap. Look at that low aim! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, defecation,
    common group, but it’ll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. Turd serves its
    own needs, listen to your farts deeds. Tell me with the rapture and the
    reverent in the right – right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright
    light, feeling pretty psyched.
    There’s a toilet brush if you need to use it
    There’s a toilet brush if you need to use it
    There’s a toilet brush if you need to use it, and you’ll feel fine.

    Six o’clock – peeing hour. Don’t get caught, know who you are. Slash and burn,
    return, listen to yourself churn. Blocked in bladderworm and hook burning,
    blood letting. Every motion escalate. Automotive incinerate. Light a candle
    light a motive. Step down, step down. Watch ordeal rush, rush. Uh oh,
    this means no fear – cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! Ah, tore and rent,
    ah tore and rent, a tournament of flies. Office has solutions, office has alternatives
    but you decline.
    There’s a toilet brush if you need to use it
    There’s a toilet brush if you need to use it
    There’s a toilet brush if you need to use it, and you’ll feel fine

    There’s a toilet brush if you need to use it
    There’s a toilet brush if you need to use it
    There’s a toilet brush if you need to use it, and you’ll feel fine.
    (It’s time I had some time alone)

    (repeat to fade, or at least until the smell subsides)

    May 1, 2009 at 12:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   oi!

    is that a restroom wall?
    Note to self: Never go to New Zealand.

    May 1, 2009 at 12:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   oi!

    you guys are mean! they are doing community service by posting informative notes, investing in binoculars and hearing aids and hiring toilet investigators all in name of humanity. so YOU are not blamed for social misconducts even by accident. In turn of spending money and time in pretty clip art, you posted that on PAN? shame on you.

    May 1, 2009 at 1:10 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Woman on the Verge bang

    When I’m in that office in Oregon I plan to whisper, “Can you hear me now? Good.”

    May 1, 2009 at 1:47 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   techmonkey

    I used to live in an apartment that had a full window in the shower and had the frosted contact paper on it. I thought nothing of it until I came home after it was dark and my room mate was showering… That note looks like it may be in the same building I lived in.

    May 1, 2009 at 2:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   aaa

    Big Brother is watching you.

    May 1, 2009 at 2:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      :shock: But I don’t HAVE a brother!

      May 1, 2009 at 3:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Sirius bang

      Everyone has a Big Brother

      May 1, 2009 at 3:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   aaa

      And he loves you. Or maybe he just loves watching you masturbate. Either way.

      May 1, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   mamason bang

    We can hear your whispers next door…
    during our paranoid schizophrenics support group meeting. 8-O

    BYOAF (Bring your own aluminum foil)

    May 1, 2009 at 3:52 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   mamason bang

    I knew it! Just because I’m paranoid, it didn’t mean they weren’t watching!

    May 1, 2009 at 3:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Bunnee

      Hee! In our house it was always, “Just because I’m paranoid, it doesn’t mean they aren’t talking about me!”

      *did I say that out loud?

      May 1, 2009 at 4:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Mishee™ bang

      All of these notes were posted with the express written consent from Major League Baseball.

      They are the ones watching you.

      May 1, 2009 at 4:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Mark bang

      “Just because you’re paranoid, don’t mean they’re not after you…” — Nirvana

      Mishee –

      McGwire: Hi, folks! I’m Mark McGwire.
      Computer: Big Mac himself. Who’d have thunk it?
      McGwire: Young Bart here is right. We are spying on you, pretty
      much around the clock.
      Bart: But why, Mr. McGwire?
      McGwire: Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to
      see me sock a few dingers?
      Crowd: Dingers! Dingers!
      [McGwire hits the long ball]
      Oooh!
      McGwire: [takes printout] Yoink!
      [tucks it under his hat and looks around, suspiciously]

      May 1, 2009 at 4:46 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   LLnL

    This is my first visit and I know I’m going to like it here.

    May 1, 2009 at 6:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Mishee™ bang

      *inserts catchy, heavily choreographed Annie number right here*

      May 1, 2009 at 6:56 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Canthz_B bang

    Of course you can hear my Whispers.

    I crank up the volume for And The Beat Goes On and Olivia (Lost and turned out)

    Stop writing notes and get off your ass and jam!

    May 1, 2009 at 9:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   mamason bang

      ♪ lotty – dotty – dee ♫

      May 1, 2009 at 9:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Canthz_B bang

      I see you flirting with TOS, mama…

      ♫ Sweet mamason, where’s your will?
      Don’t let him buy you no Seville! ♫
      ;-)

      May 2, 2009 at 1:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   mamason bang

      Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, CB?

      May 2, 2009 at 1:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   nick

    We can hear you pee and we know who you are.

    May 2, 2009 at 9:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Niccirf bang

    Wait! Is this my office??
    Nope…but it might as well be ;)

    May 2, 2009 at 2:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   J

    I was going to make a joke in reference to ceiling cat, but decided it was too easy.

    May 3, 2009 at 10:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   TP

    The first note would be better accompanied by a bloodied axe and a ragged soaked in chemical.

    May 3, 2009 at 11:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   renoblue bang

    IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, DON’T LISTEN.IF YOU CAN SEE ME, DON’T WATCH.AND PLEASE,PLEASE CLEAN UP YOUR OWN SHIT.PRETTY FRICKEN SIMPLE.

    May 10, 2009 at 10:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   t-bone

    I would like to offer some background on the “I CAN SEE YOU PEE” sign…

    imagine looking out the window above your desk, and seeing the fuzzy silhouette of a construction worker in the building opposite, looming above. Now imagine a strong, proud stream of “PEE” crashing down like Keith Richard’s guitar solo in Sympathy for the Devil… there is no choice NOT to see the pee.

    May 18, 2009 at 10:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Really professional, for real. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] related: just sayin’ [...]

    Dec 27, 2009 at 11:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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