Writes Matt in Los Angeles: “I went to get some of the 2% milk I keep in our communal work fridge for my coffee, and BAM! — front and center was this lovely.”
![Do not use! I spit in this (since someone's been using it) THANKS! [I spit in it too! (since you're a jerk)]](https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3352/3492007361_6181ccc7b9.jpg "Do not use! I spit in this (since someone's been using it) THANKS! [I spit in it too! (since you're a jerk)]")
related: And I’m singing “uh oh” on a Friday night
Spit & vinegar
May 3rd, 2009 · 197 comments
FILED UNDER: heart · Los Angeles · office fridge · rebuttals · spitting · thanks (but not really)
197 responses so far ↓
#1
Laura
Why bother with the bottle… why not just spit straight onto the salad?
May 3, 2009 at 12:35 pm rating: 90
#2
Debbie
And why is there a shopping bag from Coach in the refrigerator, anyway?
May 3, 2009 at 12:49 pm rating: 90
#3
Holly Jahangiri
What’s the yellow liquid in the unmarked bottle?
Next time, just put the milk in a red biohazard bag labeled “Stool sample.” No one will touch it. Or the fridge. On second thought, they’ll probably haul your milk – AND the fridge – out and bury it in the HAZMAT landfill.
*sigh* Never mind.
May 3, 2009 at 12:54 pm rating: 90
#4
hurfdurf
Hurrr I’m a jerk because I don’t want idiot roomates using up my stuff hurrrrrr
I hate people sometimes.
May 3, 2009 at 1:04 pm rating: 90
#5
nick
I can see you pee and spit.
May 3, 2009 at 1:04 pm rating: 90
#6
Sabeline
If you’re going to introduce contaminants, why keep it in the fridge? That one’s going to come back and bite him in the ass…
May 3, 2009 at 1:11 pm rating: 90
#7
Canthz_B
Hey, it’s a Commie fridge.
To each according to his need applies.
Damned aristocrats spitting into their salad dressing so the proletariat cannot share in the pleasure of a delectable salad is just wrong.
May 3, 2009 at 1:21 pm rating: 90
#8
Canthz_B
You have to admit, though…that was a real “Krafty” move!
May 3, 2009 at 1:23 pm rating: 90
#9
octavius
Isn’t the past of spit “spat”?
May 3, 2009 at 1:43 pm rating: 90
#10
pilgrimchick
Equally disgusting. But the smart ass award goes to the guy with the red pen.
May 3, 2009 at 2:36 pm rating: 90
#11
asdf
It’s so annoying when people write that because you know nobody actually spits into their own food like that. It wouldn’t discourage me from eating it at all.
May 3, 2009 at 2:59 pm rating: 90
#12
Olson
It doesn’t really look like the seal has been broken on the dressing.
May 3, 2009 at 3:05 pm rating: 90
#13
aaa
See, what you do is spike some food with ipecac and leave it there for the unsuspecting food-stealing bastards to eat. That’ll show them what for.
May 3, 2009 at 3:09 pm rating: 90
#14
aaa
Is it just me, or does Matt in Los Angeles look like he doesn’t have to be a giant douche if he doesn’t want to, but he just really enjoys douching himself up?
May 3, 2009 at 3:11 pm rating: 90
#15
Gunderson105
If the spitter is hot, it would actually encourage me to use the food. Kinda like applying the transient property to face sucking.
May 3, 2009 at 3:23 pm rating: 90
#16
zenvelo
I guess Matt’s roommate works at Domino’s! Where’s the youtube of spitting in the dressing?
May 3, 2009 at 3:35 pm rating: 90
#17
Jango
2% milk for coffee? Someone has no fscking clue. It is the fat in the milk that makes the coffee taste better. 2% milk is just some kind of bleach for the coffee and placebo when it comes to taste. You could just wank into the coffee if you like it bleached.
People with a 2% milk spleen deserve spit in it.
May 3, 2009 at 5:03 pm rating: 90
#18
Carrie
I wanna know what douchebag packs their lunch in a Coach bag…
May 3, 2009 at 8:57 pm rating: 90
#19
mamason
Kraft Light? bleh! I want my salad dressing with all the fat in it, the way God intended!
May 3, 2009 at 10:03 pm rating: 90
#20
Neeners
My husband always says never to mouth off to the fast food drive through person because they spit in your food if you get uppity about something. Obviously this crosses over to other domains.
May 3, 2009 at 10:14 pm rating: 90
#21
oi!
Let me get this straight, all this spitorama over a kraft salad dressing?
That coach bag must be owned by original note writer.
May 4, 2009 at 12:47 am rating: 90
#22
Carey
I think it’s obvious that if you don’t put your name on a condiment or other multi-use product, it’s open to communal use.
May 4, 2009 at 12:51 am rating: 90
#23
leftfoot
I wonder if the nameless lunch in the ziploc bag feels inferior to the Coach bag lunch.
May 4, 2009 at 1:24 am rating: 90
#24
ashmeadow
What I love about this note is that the rebuttal seems to imply some long suffered jerkiness from the note writer. It leaves one to wonder what other PA notes the person might have written.
May 4, 2009 at 1:36 am rating: 90
#25
April
Its not even open.
May 4, 2009 at 2:24 am rating: 90
#26
claw71
Yeah, well I just had a threesome with both your moms just (since you suck) and I used this bottle of dressing as a butt plug.
May 4, 2009 at 9:13 am rating: 90
#27
GhostWriter
Hey- somebody must have spit in my okra, too!
May 4, 2009 at 10:40 am rating: 90
#28
thirty six red
It may simply be a social experiment. Plastic roaches in there would work without the need for notes.
May 4, 2009 at 11:34 am rating: 90
#29
Woman on the Verge
If only the red addition had said:
I spit in it too and I have swine flu!
It would have been PA and it would have rhymed! Double PA points!
May 4, 2009 at 12:00 pm rating: 90
#30
Ti to the O
“Hey your spit is in my Kraft™ light! Hey your Kraft™ light is in my Spit!”
May 4, 2009 at 12:40 pm rating: 90
#31
Michelle
One of my biggest pet peeves– Brand-name bags used to carry lunch. “Oh this? I just grabbed a random bag to carry my lunch. Nothing special”.
Cringe.
May 4, 2009 at 1:36 pm rating: 90
#32
MGMDetroit
a big fail
May 4, 2009 at 2:26 pm rating: 90
#33
Sue Do Nim
Thanks, Matt, for telling us you keep your 2% milk for your coffee in the fridge; otherwise, it wouldn’t have been so funny.
May 4, 2009 at 5:31 pm rating: 90
#34
Girl Friday
You spit?
I swallow.
Shake well before using!
May 4, 2009 at 10:25 pm rating: 90
#35
anglophile
I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve come to the conclusion that if I did spit in my salad dressing, I would be too grossed out to use it myself.
May 5, 2009 at 5:25 am rating: 90
#36
Daisychain 1978
Screw the spit in the salad dressing, I am more concerned about the pee in the bottle to the right.
As least the PAN gave the communal fridge thief a warning.
May 5, 2009 at 12:47 pm rating: 90
#37
DearJane
The festering spit in the salad dressing would either
A: Become infused with all of the unnatural crap in the dressing and become a super flu such as the world has never seen
-or-
B: Use it’s digestive juices to inhale the bottle of dressing, until there is nothing left but a speck of basil.
So perhaps no one is using the dressing, the spit is just dissolving it.
Ew
May 5, 2009 at 2:49 pm rating: 90
#38
Asha
I don’t blame someone being pissed off about other people helping themselves to the food products they specially bring to work.
I’m lactose intolerant and eat my breakfast at my desk in the morning. I keep a container of almond milk in the fridge and I have had it mysteriously drain overnight. Frankly, if I bring something and write my name on it, people should fuck off and leave it be.
May 5, 2009 at 3:24 pm rating: 90
#39
Lauren
Doesn’t she know that bacteria will just BREED in that dressing now?
May 6, 2009 at 1:20 pm rating: 90
#40
viagra
If you have to do it, you might as well do it right
May 14, 2009 at 1:29 pm rating: 90
#41
Jessica
hm….the bottle isn’t even opened yet. I think I saw one other person out of the 40 before me that noticed. It isn’t even open, so your concerns about the multiplying bacteria inside from the “spit” are irrelevant.
May 14, 2009 at 11:14 pm rating: 90
#42
bumpaddler
This site is awesome, mentioned you on my site: http://bumpaddler.com/archives/978
May 20, 2009 at 12:52 pm rating: 90
#43
Ae Cha
That is so disgusting, why not buy a mini freg. and keep your food in it.
No need to spit. Save it for digesting your food.
May 24, 2009 at 1:40 pm rating: 90
#44
RB
Instead of spitting in the food, he should punch his loser roommate in the face. Stealing food is weak. Punch the thief in the face.
May 26, 2009 at 8:33 pm rating: 90
#45
pd
haha RB im guessing you’re the sort of person that would leave a note? you’re ridiculous, and so’s the person who wrote this note in the first place. the second comment though – classic. its funny even if they didnt actually spit in it, just for the fuming it would cause. hopefully then the loser hoarder would move out
Jul 8, 2009 at 11:44 pm rating: 90
#46 Those heirloom tomatoes had sentimental value! | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] Frustrated by fridge thieves who continually ignore your polite (or not-so-polite) requests to keep their paws to themselves? Don’t get mad — get creative! You could end up with something so crazy it might actually work…that is, if it doesn’t totally backfire. [...]
Aug 1, 2010 at 7:24 pm rating: 90
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